Another Male Cap: Is He A Player or Clueless?!

After my disasterous encounter last year with a cap in his mid-20s, about 6 months ago I met one born on the same day but in his early 30s. While we knew each other as acquaintances, we bumped into each other out one night and hooked up. I thought it was a one-night thing, but it has since developed over the last few months into him calling me a few times a week for long chats, the odd message here/there.

We are both very busy people, and trying to organise to catch up for a drink can be crazy between our schedules. I do get regular contact, just not in person. And he has been initiating it more than I have.

We had a really lovely dinner date about a month ago, it went really well, and given we had already gone there hooking-up again was on the table (well made it very clear it was there if he wanted it). He thought about it and declined with a very valid reason but I was left a little confused. And he continued to call after, so I figured he was still keen. He has always payed (like made it clear he was paying from the start), which given how much of a tight a $ $ I know he is I figure means something!!

He then went on a road trip with his extended family (during which he contacted me when he had phone reception). He's back and has asked me to go out to dinner sometime, which is good.

He is super nervous when we have caught up/had dinner, he does settle down after about 1/2 hour though. Sometimes I get a drunk call from him, not a booty call, but he is very flirty and cheeky (more confident and more him when he chills out).

Is it normal for cap guys to move soooooooooo slowly? And why would he pass up a hookup?! I can't work out if he is just clueless, VERY shy, or has been burned by crazy chicks in the past. I know he's had a couple of girlfriends (6months - 3 years) but has been single by choice for quite some time.

I know how cap guys take FOREVER to work things out, trust you, etc but I would like him to speed up just a little bit or just be honest with what he wants and what he doesn't. Is there a nice way I can be less subtle than "dude, WTF?" about it without him freaking out?!

Thanks in advance 🙂

Well, it all seems pretty positive.
Just relax though, no need to rush... =)

Posted by neatsta
[...]
Is it normal for cap guys to move soooooooooo slowly? And why would he pass up a hookup?! I can't work out if he is just clueless, VERY shy, or has been burned by crazy chicks in the past. I know he's had a couple of girlfriends (6months - 3 years) but has been single by choice for quite some time.

I know how cap guys take FOREVER to work things out, trust you, etc but I would like him to speed up just a little bit or just be honest with what he wants and what he doesn't. Is there a nice way I can be less subtle than "dude, WTF?" about it without him freaking out?!

Probably a combination of all of the above. I've turned down the offer with a cute girl because my mind was elsewhere. I even went for a private dinner at another girls place, expecting 'just' dinner. Turns out she had other plans but I was unprepared for that. 😆
My guess is, that right now he is still in the 'getting to know you-phase' and he is interested enough not to take the offer to blow his load and be done with it. Hell, he might even prefer working for it a bit more. 😉

The general advice here is;
1. Be patient
2. Be more patient
3. Be honest about what you want
4. Ask him questions and don't be insulted if the answer isn't what you want to hear.

He's probably cautious to say what he wants because in the past people didn't understand when he did.

Good luck. 🙂

Yes, caps move slow. You've found yourself a real gentleman, so let him be a gentleman. He is trying to wine and dine you and respect you and let you know it's not all about sex and there you are offering your body to him like a piece of cake after dinner. Caps want a lady. A woman with class. Be that and you can snag this guy.

Posted by truecap
Yes, caps move slow. You've found yourself a real gentleman, so let him be a gentleman. He is trying to wine and dine you and respect you and let you know it's not all about sex and there you are offering your body to him like a piece of cake after dinner. Caps want a lady. A woman with class. Be that and you can snag this guy.

+1

Thanks for all the replies. I must admit I don't get down and dirty with any bloke, but logically figured he's seen it before so the general rules go out the window! That and with all the long phone calls figure I've worked for it just as much as he has! Lol

We are having dinner in a couple of days, at a place near his house (we live about 1 hour apart) so I will wait and see what happens. I'm in no rush - but he is not like the regular bloke and those little insecurities pop up and you start to wonder wtf is he thinking! I'm not complaining - I haven't had a gentleman be interested in me in quite some time 🙂