Cap Said

I have " broken up" and gotten back friends with this cap guy twice before. This time I think it's over for good. We started as FWB but I discovered that he had two women that he had been involved with for 3 years. He has no committment to them and they know about one another but they cook for him, take trips, etc... and act like GFs. It angered me because I told him had I known the level of involvement he had with them, I would have never gone there with him. Even though he is not committed in title the connection they have leaves me feeling like I am at the bottom of the tottem pole. It felt like having an affair with married man. Eventhough we were FWB, there never was much time to hang out yet we spent hours on the phone with each other during the week (he was a LD truck driver).

So, I stopped having sex with him. We only did it twice in a six week period, anyway. I felt like I was more of a friend/confidant and liked that. However, the two times we were initimate it was very sweet and tender. He has told me about how freaky he was ( we talked about EVERYTHING) but with me he wasn't. When I asked him about it he changed the subject like he was embarrassed and that was shocking considering the kind of sexual attraction he welds effortlessly.

Anyway, one day I told him that my mom thinks he is a really good friend. I thought this was a compliment because that what he said he was. He told me that he valued my friendship and that he would never let anything happen to me or let anyone hurt me or say anything bad about me. We were really good friends. He goes into the whole thing about how he doesn't want to be with anyone and if he could get rid of the two women without hurting them he would. I said that he was just running from a relationship because of his past hurts and the BBs allow him to have the GF experience without having to be a boyfriend. I also said that a woman worth anything wouldn't play GF with no title.

Well, needless to say, he was angry. But I called him back and apologized. So, we talked as usual the next day and I thought everything was fine. But it wasn't. To make a long story short he said the he is "moving on without me" because I give my opinion about his life choices and he doesn't need a therapist, etc. He said some harsh things. We have not talked on the phone for almost a month.

How can someone who claims to be your friend shut you out of their life so easily for giving your opinion?

People can be sensitive and you seem to not just give him your opinion, but also judge him and his choises. I may be wrong, but it seems like it to me.

I realized that was the case so I apologized. He said I was criticizing him but that was not my intent. From spending so much time talking about our lives and dreams etc. I knew that he was just afraid. He never hesitated to hive me his opinion on my life. O did not rvrn say it critically and prefaced.it by saying that I could be wrong.

What's the good of having friends if you can't be honest? He has been brutally honest with me many times.

FWB hardly ever turns into more. I think he senses you want more and he doesn't. He wants to FWB without being questioned on his other relationships, which you did.

You're better off without FWB. Why let a man waste your time? Go find a guy with substance.

Why would you apologize for your opinion and for standing up for yourself?
You said it, own it. People who flip flop on their thoughts is a turn off for most caps.

Posted by truecap
Why would you apologize for your opinion and for standing up for yourself?
You said it, own it. People who flip flop on their thoughts is a turn off for most caps.

I did not apologize for my opinion. I apologized for making him feel criticized. He is mad because he I touched on a nerve. He knows I am right. Everyone else tip toes around him. Those other twi want mire too. He told me so. But they will take what he gives. I told him I wanted more but we agreed to be friends with no sex. I cut off the sex part.

I am dating others and he knows it. We are just friends.

Posted by truecap
FWB hardly ever turns into more. I think he senses you want more and he doesn't. He wants to FWB without being questioned on his other relationships, which you did.

You're better off without FWB. Why let a man waste your time? Go find a guy with substance.

We are no longer friends with benefits and haven't been for two months. I think you missed that part. We are just friends. And he is a guy with substance. That's why we remained friends.

Oh. Ok.