capricorn head games

hmm, well what makes you think he'd be anymore faithful to you? cliche i know, but had to type it.

i'd lean towards his reply was sarcasm. we dabble in that. he's either licking his wounds, or being pissy. either way he doenst sound like he really wants out of his other relationship.

I say let him brood, desperation only gives him the high ground. remember what happened to anakin 😛. but really he sounds like he came back after she shot him down, and needed his little emo boost.

umm not exactly the point. basically he sounds like the average person who just goes into something to get their emotional itch scratched. so putting a leash on something that wants to be free only breeds hostility and whiplash. and those who live for self pleasure go to any that can please them. left hand, right hand syndrome if you catch my drift.

weakness to a capricorn is usually something of a sickening thing. ultimatums are some what useless. have standards, keep to them, and those who can not match them do not get the rewards. he wronged you, he needs to apologize, no compromises.

from my conclusion, albeit a very mioptic and information lacking logical deduction is that he's addicted to being with someone. i don't claim to know him personally, but to quit a woman shouldn't be a big thing unless money or children is involved. granted feeligns are involved, but he sounds like he's in selfish mode. (egads im seeing too much of this recently.) Long as she has him he is hers, when things go rough he's yours.
sounds as if you already gave him the terms, but maybe tell him again, and go with it. maybe something like im tired of this bs, either pony up or stay gone.

hmm sounds like making excuses to me, but i understand what you're saying. hmm not quite down with english slang, i'll have to get one of my english buddies to translate this. but i think sometimes what we think we want is what we are getting, but it simply isnt so.

fair point :S

If I were you are would be strict on him and I would not take ANY of his BS! I don't know about you ladies posting here but I don't play that other woman BS! It is either me or her both not the both of us. If you don't stand up to your Cap man and put your foot down, you can forget being with him because he is not going to want a woman who does not have a backbone. It is just to dayum easy for him.

Stand you ground and quit letting him take your love for granted. Tell him you are going to leave him and just do it. If you don't put your foot down, you will always play second fiddle. Do you think you deserve to be seconds in a man's life? Um, not me! If I am not number 1, the only one, then I don't want to be anything to you. Next!

I meant if I were you, I would be strict and not take any of his BS!

satyr is fairly feisty hehe. don't take him wrong, he seems like a nice guy. 🙂

well, he has a point though, i think all that wishful hoping is a little silly, and tolerating being the outside person is even worse. this guy apparently does not have any problem playing with your heart or cheating. i think he may be emotionally immature, and may not be completely happy with his current relationship, but doesn't mean anything else. but if people are hell bent on making something like this. It's your choice, as I told someone else on here, not rightly close enough to make an accurate forecast.

honestly stuff about people disappearing for a while, and not saying much sounds like what i've done and seen done when i was younger. disappear, feelings from other person stay relatively attached, that way they are an option if what i really want doesn't go my way. But i never did that when i was actually dating the person though, but a few friends with crushes have found me to go poof! from time to time.

I don't know, my Cap man has NEVER vanished on me and we have been together for 11 years NOW! I say you have to put a pretty firm foot down with a Cap man. Don't worry about hurting his feelings to much because he can take a hard punch. Matter of fact, it is better you let him feel some hurt so he can link you back to his feelings. If your the one hurting his feelings, how is he going to constantly think about? You!

Typo,
I meant who is he going to constantly think about! You!

"If I were you are would be strict on him and I would not take ANY of his BS! I don't know about you ladies posting here but I don't play that other woman BS! It is either me or her both not the both of us. If you don't stand up to your Cap man and put your foot down, you can forget being with him because he is not going to want a woman who does not have a backbone. It is just to dayum easy for him.

Stand you ground and quit letting him take your love for granted. Tell him you are going to leave him and just do it. If you don't put your foot down, you will always play second fiddle. Do you think you deserve to be seconds in a man's life? Um, not me! If I am not number 1, the only one, then I don't want to be anything to you. Next!"

Awesome advice, krobe
This post deserves to be like the leaderboard(main) post on the capricorn board.
I have so much clarity on what to do now. Thank u!

toro
you are not stupid. what i have realized is that this capy guy is terrified of his feelings for me. Its almost as if he does not want me to control him via his feelings and so right now he is doing anything he can to make me hate him
I am taking krobe's advice and am doing something which I should have done long back
No playing second fiddle any more and a strong no to keeping me insecure.
I am in no contact mode now, ys its very painful but as someone said i love him but i love me more. If he comes back, he better have a plan and a final proposal, nothing less than that.

"Don't let him string you both along. I would cut off ties until he can decide who he wants."

why not just have an idea of what you want and what you will not tolerate? I agree with krobe (which i almost never do because she is the crazy) jk, but anyway, I agree with her on the fact that she gets what she wants, if not she goes and finds something else. I don't know, I just know that if i disappear on someone its because they were bugging me at the time, i might keep them in reserve, but i'm not keeping them. I also know if i have free range, and freedom to come and go like i want, she'll notice that ill be gone more than im there. why? because im going to something that requires effort. not trying to offend anyone. but if i know someone will tolerate anything from me, its like pheh, what the hell is on her mind? why is she so willing to let me go. but different strokes for different folks. As for knowing forever, that doesn't mean much for capricorns sometimes. I've known family and some friends since birth and they still know very little about me. Even the emotion i do show to them is usually not how i feel. and only reason im telling this little secret is because no one here knows me >.>

bullerina
I am quite sure about where I want to be in life with my cap guy
but he has a huge problem of 'the fear of getting hurt' .
Also He is paranoid about me finding someone else or not sticking out with him to the (forget the pun) bitter end
I am really at the end of my rope and am not ready for any more indecisive bahavour
Although i must say that for many years I was the model of patience and allowed his (now i want her, now i dont)attitude. he was freaking having the cake and eating it too
Its late but I have realized that if i want the insanity to stop then i have to do somethng ..if he would have his way then this crap could go on for years. i know this because he really is a people pleaser and has several women waiting on for him.
i really have begin detesting him but the minute i walk away he pops right back as if whatever crap/drama happened between us was a figment of my imagination

why not just have an idea of what you want and what you will not tolerate?

I could've said it better myself G 🙂

thx, I guess i just understand begging someone to come and get it. Like some sort of dracula stuff. waiting in the darkness, windows open, cursed out all your friends so they can't tie up the line. O, I hope he takes me tonight, O please, O please. No offense but that sounds like stuff i heard from girls back in 7th grade.

Most women I meet are like, psshh boy you don't want any of this then f**k you, you go home and play dress up and kissy face with your hand mother f***ker, cause I've gots stuff to do. Roll on chump. Guess what, all the dude can do is roll on. he missed his calling. I mean fear of commitment i understand, but still need team work.

I think that maybe some of the women involved in this need more confidence in their ability of finding another man, a good man. Not saying that anyone here is not pretty, or nice, its just that they seem to doubt their power of finding someone else worth while. Its like a shoe, it looks nice, almost fits, or has the wrong color but its almost right, but you still buy it, then complain about how your toes are cramped and how they don't match your dress.

So they want to change this almost guy, into the dream guy. Don't flame me, I wouldn't be surprised that im wrong. just calling it as i see it.

BT~ I'm way confused! Without disclosing your info... did you find out he was lying- about being "unavailable"?

These guys SUUuuuuuck! lol 😛 I think you have to consider what Genome is saying as a possibile explanation for the behavior... i.e. "just not that into you"... If you think of it that way, it will sure keep you from sticking your neck out, contacting, and looking like a crazy fool (or a "friend with a crush" as our young cap calls it)!

Genome~ you are a piece of work! lol Liking the forced shoe fit analogy... Are you a west coaster?

Nope, from New Orleans. Well thats how I explain my attitude to those who wonder 🙂.

Cappy men suck. Period. good thing, over generalizations are always correct eh? *rolleyes*.
It's not like there are happy couples out there involving capricorn men. that'd be obsurd.
Yes it is difficult, but as you said, can't wait like an old hound dog on the porch forever. my point wasn't that you couldn't get any other man, it was that it wouldn't be the one you wanted(ie not as good), so some don't think that its good to find others. I quite understand caring for someone that is bad for you, but the key words are 'bad for you'. my advice is, love is like an addiction, the more you hang around your fixation, the more tempted you are to get your fix, so try keeping busy, and see if some other guy can't grab your attention. then maybe send the ex a sound byte of the new one 😉. jk jk.

be cool, be cool. Hate to burst your bubble, but I am a Capricorn. It's not the capricorn, its the jerk who's parents timed it so that he plopped out within the 29 day grace period to be one of us. Just do like them, kick him out, forget about the after birth and move on. So, just relax, some of us are quite groovy.

Word, I managed to get over my ex mostly when I went back too school.
word, don't stroke it just let it go, do your best to keep your self busy when the urge begins to grow. Main thing is dont let the hurt stop you from mingling.

btw, thanks 🙂.

there are more like him, but i have a firm belief that ooo 90% + of people suck, yet we all seem to get upset that we meet losers. Damn television, making us think that people aren't annoying. 😛. ja good idea, maybe go out to a movie or something. 🙂. happy hunting toro 😉.

G-dog~ (Genome) You talk fast and furious... a bit all over the place for a Cap.... but your stuff is making sense lately- bottomline. Roll on! LOL 😉 I like what you had to say to Toro. What are your moon/merc/venus/mars placements, if you know? (I'm Sag/Cap/Cap/Pisces.)

Apparently, I have all elements.



there is a thread completely dedicated to my misunderstanding of the night sky.
but here it is for you not to have to re-read the entire thing.

Sun = Capricorn

Moon = Libra

Mercury = Capricorn

Venus = Pisces

Mars = Pisces

Jupiter = Capricorn

Saturn = Scorpio

Uranus = Sagittarius

Neptune = Capricorn

Pluto = Scorpio

North Node = Taurus

Chiron = Gemini

Aries Ascendant Sign.

Huh, bizarre! I was wrong about your fire/scorpio influences. Well, you are possessive though-

lol, being possessive? joint ownership is possessive? I'm not asking my woman to be my slave, stand over a stove, cook, clean, take care of the children, not have any male friends, female friends, original thoughts or desires. I'm not asking her to obey every single command i have.

I am asking for someone who is a team mate. where we work together, and that she trusts what i say if i do ask her to do something, and also respects if i tell her something. i will respect what she says and asks too, and like her, if i have a legitimate and logical reason on why what i/she said is wrong, then ill listen. for example if i say, don't go to that some party or something, i would like if she respected that i probably have a good reason, and if its that im insecure about why and what is happening there, she will address it. i would do the same for her. if she says genome, i don't want you hanging out at night with your friends. i ask why? she says you hang out late, come home tired, go to work tired, and come back grumpy. i'm like o crud, sorry baby, ill adjust to keep harmony in our home. because, if i'm hers completely, she's mine completely, then i say its fair exchange. people who manage to obtain ownership of someone else by becoming selfless to each other, and trust that the other will not abuse or take that for granted.

so if being possessive is wanting one true mate, that understands, coopperates, and isn't afraid of sharing her mind, heart and responsiblities, then i say i'm easily one of the most possessive men in america. i might as well get married a plantation, and when the priest says you may say your vows, ill say 'YOU'RE NAME IS TOBY!' and she'll respond 'Kunta Kinte'. then after the kisses are to be had and rings slapped on the stubby digits of our hands she can say 'give me free', and i'll just hug and kiss her. she and i can laugh at the sardonic tone of it, while the rest of the world be completely baffled, but she and i would know that we would belong to each other, and not a dictatorship or slavery, but there is no way in creation i'd let her go as long as she wanted to stay. and it would be my job to try to make her job of staying as easy as possible.

bleh too sick to proof read it. just skip over errors.

Yeah Genome you are a TRUE Cap male.

My Cap male has the same feelings and beliefs as you do. The main thing for my Cap man is teamwork. It is ALL about what we can do as a team. I don't know, sometimes I feel it is a bit controlling but I guess I have to accept his nature at times.

Ladies one thing I know for sure is, don't accept NO BS from him. You need to have a pretty strong backbone. I would not accept a man that runs in and out of my life. I will accept a man that let's me run in and out of his life. LOL! I don't know, you have to be a tad bit tough with Mr. Cap (Or any male) and tell him, hey it's my way or the highway. I have the my way or highway attitude and my Cap man tells me he is in love with me more than I actually want to hear. I guess I will say BYE really quick and it is not that I don't have feelings for you or care but life is just to dayum short to get feed the short end of the stick.

I have confidence in myself and I guess men pick up on this behavior. I take his feelings into consideration but I don't let him have his dayum way all the time. If my Cap man starts pressuring me, I will let him no that I will leave our almost 11 year relationship really quick. I just believe letting a man come in and out of your life without having any boundaries as to where you stand is just to dayum easy, esp. if you are having any type of sexual relationship with him. I would have to put and immediate stop to that type of behavior. I find giving a Cap man a strong ultimatim will get the job done and you will get what you want out of your relationship.

It is not OK for a man to run in and out of your life. NO, I don't believe in that type of behavior. I am selfish and I believe it is OK, for me to run in and out of a man's life. I don't know, for a woman I just think terrible.

lol, double negatives. don't accept no bs. eh only time i ever give bs to someone i am with is when they short change me, or disrespect me. poking me when im trying to get close is a good way of making me let go. also, that guy is a capricorn male, its just that he's a bad one, or

also umm, lol i thought i sounded more like a libra there. especially since, I get pissed off when i feel that i'm being shortchanged.

'I take his feelings into consideration but I don't let him have his dayum way all the time. If my Cap man starts pressuring me, I will let him no that I will leave our almost 11 year relationship really quick.'

this is where we always disagree. I don't mind my woman disgreeing, but it would have to be something logical or emotionally logical for me to just readily accept it. I.E. she doesn't like my flirting with someone, even though i didnt realise i was, i'd respect the emotional logic behind it. the quick abandonment issue would drive me up the wall or a quick release pdq. I think if i heard ultimatums like that too often, or for something trivial i'd be pressing the eject button like the one in bonds car from Goldfinger. That does not mean I don't appreciate my woman demanding whats hers, and willing to disagree, but almost sounds too much like if i don't get my way all the time, or you obey me i'm out. i'm not much on obeying, but i can compromise from time to time.

I just know why I disappear, and that if that behavior is bothering the relationship and isn't being addressed its a problem.

noob krobes 😛. jk jk. she's feisty but she's a nice woman.

Also, krobe, i do only agree with the 'i'll leave your ass' ultimatum if it involves cheating, or him running away. which i guess you meant anyway. i tend to have 0 tolerance stance towards cheating, and as far as running, those who do not fight for it, don't deserve it. the arm that flails wildly against the minds wishes may be caught in the gears of despair and torn from the body, sad thing is, the body doesnt know if it can grow a new and better arm, and sometimes does not even get to wave goodbye.

toro, my advice is that if he's that insecure, and he hasn't managed to compose himself yet, it's probably too much effort to care even if he was thinking about you (for whatever reason). the time you spend chasing something like that, could put towards building a home with something that actually helps and fights with you. i do agree with sticking with people thorugh tough times. but these cases don't sound like some mid-life crisis where some guy says honey i need to make a journey to x mountain top, and go drag racing, to feel young again. just sounds like some people who want the benefits of a relationship w/o all the hard work.

you flatter me dear lady, thank you very much 🙂. Don't worry, I understand perfectly about the people taking over mind thing. My ex, even as disgusting as she is, occupies my thought process from time to time.

As I said, some people are like virus's or addictions. The mind wants the fix so badly but it knows that it's unhealthy. I say virus because of the way that many times the people install themselves into our mind, and can't be removed just because you want to remove them. Their memory brings on sickness, and faulty thinking, convinces us to do things that we do not think we really should or want to do, and in the end, leaves us feeling dirty, abused, and maybe a little insecure about ourselves. If we put up maximum protection we can try to block most attacks, but also we stop anyone that would have been good as well, yet we are so hurt and afraid to open up fully, that any odd behaviors cause our emotions to inflame. By the time we've fully recovered from licking our wounds, these terrible people have stolen countless moments from our lives. Worst of all, no one is held responsible, there is no clear blame. So rarely anyone truly seems to pay for this. Countless people tell us, just take it, don't react, be an adult about it. Is it really so mature to not respond to those that make us bleed? To mirror the torture that someone has bestowed unto us? No, but the brutal fact that responsibilities don't disappear, and opportunity for resolution is not always within grasp, so again it leaves another hollow spot, this time in our mind that there is justice.

anyhow, back to programming and cleaning. Go get them Toro! You seem like a foxy woman with much to offer, I hope you find someone thats worth getting it. 🙂.

noob krobes . jk jk. she's feisty but she's a nice woman...LOL!

You can disagree with me forever but if we are in disagreement, it's because I don't want you to agree with me. That is the purpose. I don't want you to like it. That is what I mean by not letting you have your way about everything but compromising. I have noticed Cap men are very, very controlling and they don't even know what they are doing to make them seem controlling. So, I pay attention to his controlling nature because I like to have control of ME but I don't like for someone else to try to control me. That is way too much pressure and NO, I don't like being controlled by someone else so if he puts too much pressure on me, yes, I want out of this relationship. It is my way of saying, look, I am my own person and I don't need anyone else running my life.

O stop your fussing woman. I said I do agree if it involved infidelity or abandonment, but just to use that ripcord for all other subjects might provoke him to pull the cord for you.

Your method of handing problems is exactly that, your own. So I can't get too preachy about what is the right or wrong way. I personally rather have someone I can lose my self with. That brings out the best in me. I can be very evil, and upsetting, but mostly if a person has the attitude that brings it out of me. Like people who would tell a person with acrophobia 'LOOK OUT YOU'RE ABOUT TO FALL' just to mess with them. Those people who prod me in my moment of weakness will find a monster underneath a cool exterior and will suffer, where as someone who knows how to ease my pain, not taunt me and be there with me, shall find a very kind and loving person.

So, we all have our breaking points, just have to find a person who doesn't keep pressing the eject button, or better yet, not make us want to. I would not doubt that many capricorns are dominant. I like someone who lets me lead, but is not afraid to be my co-pilot instead of a passenger. I am by no means submissive. So, ja, to any women out here who are wild, free and absolutely independent that they can't stand a man telling them what to do, or be bothered with responsibility, you probably have a very difficult climb with a capricorn man. but i agree, don't take being a slave either. but in my defense, I am a man, I am dominant, and any woman who thinks she'll just grab me by the hair and ride me like a horse is dead wrong. But since i know that I have a tendency to run over people, I try to always ask and interrupt my self as not to hurt someone. But i feel if i want independence, and so do they, might as well stay alone.

O one thing, to ALL WOMEN here, never EVER nag or degrade your capricorn man. Trust me when I say this. Do not do that, especially if he's brooding, or sad, or you'll probably end up on one of those 'Have you Seen Me?' pamphlets that are handed out in the mail. Not saying it absolutely will end like that, but trust me when I say, that's one nerve that if you hit often enough you'll probably find your self alone/hurt, or both. we usually might be peaceful, but i know that nagging/degrading is dangerous.

Why mention this, fussing with someone close who is trying that, and it is extremely tough not to just beat on them like that monkey from the begining of '2001 a space Oddessey'.

and no, i dont' expect people to read my long post. lol, but its there, so tough 😛.

Yeah,
I agree with you alot esp with the taking charge and leading in the relationship with Cap men. I want a take charge man to lead the way, however, I don't want him controlling me in the process. I believe that is where me and my Cap man clashes alot. He wants to control ME and he is not aware of the fact that he is controlling. I like for a man to be in control, just not try to control me.

I also agree with you, if you are not ready to take on responsibility a Cap man is not right for you. You are going to be a responsible person and that is why I realize I need my Cap man. I hate committment and he brings that out of me. Our relationship is not really all that dayum bad, but I am very committment phobic and I really need a strong man behind me that will MAKE me commit. I don't like to admit to it but yes, it is true, I need a take charge man. If you leave committment up to me, you can forget it.

I look at my Cap man as my fuel. I am a fire sign and he feeds me the earthly fuel that I desperately need to survive in this world. Earth is like coal, wood,etc. and yes, it will feed my fire. I just don't want the earthly fuel to control my fire. I want to control and contain my fire myself.

So, that is probably the reason why I am still with my Cap man. He is the only man that can make me really commit to responsibility. I just cannot stand for him to pressure me.

FIRE SIGN! I knew it! I knew there was something wrong with you. I couldn't put my finger on it, but now i know. but the first step to treating a problem is to acknowledge you have one. jk 😛. But it does explain why you're so feisty.

Eh, I understand about the take charge thing. I dont like the having to control someone thing, which is why i tend to dislike people who are out of control themselves. As i said, I don't want to spend my time chasing away guys because she can't keep her self under control. Honestly I thoroughly enjoy a low maintenance woman. By that I mean she's easy going and understanding, and has goals similar to mine. So if i consistently have to say put on more clothes your lips are dragging the ground, or your flirting with everyone bothers me, please stop, guess what? eventually i'll just tell her, you don't have to go home but you can't stay here. why? because im not going to spend my life trying to change the core personality of someone. So like you said have to get someone that suppresses your faults and encourages you to do better.

word, don't kiss his butt. if he does wrong say so, but don't be like, you'll never amount to anything, you're the worst man i've seen. Whats wrong you have too much estrogen in your system to think like a man huh? that type of thing will get you hit. ja, sadly i say soemthing is wrong, because if im really in love with a woman ill be all over her, even if im travelling. i used to give my ex vip treatment. she was always emotional and had some personal problems, so i'd leave my cell phone on, and msn up, and whatever other way she needed to contact me when i was gone, so when she needed me or whatever she could. then i started to realize, o crud, you know i can't get a hold of this b**ch when i need her. hmm maybe i should re-evaluate my coverage plan.

well it might be a long road to recovery, just hang in there as best you can, dont knock your self if you relapse some. just remember, to keep trying.

its not the idea of balls. it the idea of what he wants is different from you. if he wants you as a side hustle, or a doll that he can pick up to give him love and leave when he's bored of you. but the most important point out of all this, is that no matter how he got to do what he is doing, that its unacceptable, and as you have deduced, he isn't overly concerned about fixing it. he might patch it up to not let you go, but not to fix it so that you are happy. therefore if he is not concerned about you being content, he is being selfish. he can use his fist if he wants to be selfish, but even they will leave him if he doesn't treat them properly. so i guess he's sol.

lol, not sure about great, i'm good enough not to be treated badly, but i know i have to hustle to keep my woman, lol. that doesn't bother me too much. she's admitted she made a mistake, but has never tried to rectify it, and it wasn't much longer till i said f-it.

the difference i see with how some of these women feel about their person if they change their mind and the way i do is, i make up my mind, and sometimes their mind too. if they are unsure for too long, i just say forget it, you didn't want it, and i don't want you.

why be so tolerant if they have to treat their men like scared dogs. Sob has to run in sniff you, run back, check himself, then run back to you, try holding him to even groom him he starts bucking and running away, have to pat your lap and say come get it boy, and if he does you better pet him if not he'll throw a tantrum. goood boy, goood boy, glad you're doing your job finally. then poof he still disappears. its like mother f****r stay gone, sh*t. I don't have time for this foolishness.


no offense, after 9 years, calculate exactly how much time he's spent with you, vs. the time he's spent abroad doing his own thing. where is he when you need him. right now a guy could be with you and he wouldn't know. you could get in a damn car accident and he'd still be doing his thing. what sort of connection is that. some of these guys sound like sex buddies but with emotional baggage.

ill pm you a saying my father told me. i don't want to say it out here.

ill pm you a saying my father told me. i don't want to say it out here.

Um, I want a PM too. Don't let me have to give you a ultimatum for being so dayum selfish.

Yeah, I agree with you Genome,

My Cap man has to put in work for me and there is no other way around it. He will cry, whine and complain all he wants until I tell him to shut the f@@@ up and just do it and he will jump his ass up and does what I need him to do too. I love a Cap man. LOL!

krobe you know i can't deny you. i sent it, encountered afew errors, so you may have a few copies of it.

word, think about that sh*t. you a fine woman, with money and as a woman you have something that can cause any man all over the world sing the campbell soup song, because it's mmm mmm good. So why beg his @ss to come get it and keep it. You say you fine, and i have no reason to disagree, so use that stuff to go get your self a better model. if he think he's mad pimpin then let him go do that stuff with someone else. not like he's a sugar daddy or something, where he has something worth taking his crap. i mean even if he lays it down hot and heavy, that doesn't mean for you to get all upset about it. treat him like a trick then. get yours and get out the door before he realizes his watch is gone.