Capricorn Instructional Guide

Dear Customer,
Thank you for using Seagoat Inc most popular item, the Capricorn! 😄

[Basic Functions]

[Scapegoat]
Need someone to pin the blame one for screw ups? Capricorns are responsibility magnets, so you can totally push all the failures to meeting those duties onto them. They have strong backs, so they can take it. Capricorns are great for child labor, fall guy and naturally work decently as human shields.

[Father]
All of them, even the women and children. All will totally work up a sweat on your behalf. They'll also lecture you on your poor life choices and are more inclined to teach you how to do something then letting you cry about it. [Note: Spanks vary for model to model.]

[Pan/Party Goat]
Delightful by day yet naughty by night, this function works great for folks who need a gentleman/nobleman or lady YET want the depraved sensual earthy fiend as well. Will look polished and proper one moment and then will [Explicative] you proper the next.

[Mountain Goat]
Have a goal you want to reach? Not even getting their bodies and spirits broken will spot these success monsters once they have a goal in their sights. [Warning: Sociopathic tendencies may flare up. Do not question any mysterious connections they have with the Earth Sign Mafia.]

[Troubleshooting]

Q: My Cap is cold, mean and a buttface! 😢
A: Rub their skin with oils and then threaten to feed them to cannibals if they don't shape up.

Q: My Cap doesn't validate every emotion I have! 😢
A: Capricorns are Saturn ruled, they sold those for Stamina and for the ability to taste great.

Q: My Cap keeps bring all these water signs to my yard!
A: Play Disney movies endlessly till they go away.

Q: My Cap ended up fighting with an Aries, Libra and Cancer over who wears they pants and leads things!
A: Hot. Spray them with water and if they don't stop, profit from their fighting by selling it as kink video.

[Final Note]
Well just ask the Capricorn what's wrong with them if you question hasn't been answered. Enjoy! 😄

So how much for the Pan/Party Goat? "It" might make its way onto my Christmas list 😉

Thank you! Very helpful. Recently acquired one of these. He was shipped without directions. Very well made though, I applaud the designer.

~pisces

HahaaaaaAA classic

Posted by caprigoral
😄 I fit the two top.

Disregard the final note. Nothing more annoying than someone asking what's wrong. Nothing was wrong until you asked, now I'm annoyed that you won't leave me alone; that's what's wrong! Sorry, didn't mean to turn this in a serious direction.

This is Cap-Land, seriousness is a given here from time to time. 😆