Capricorn male...

I just stumbled on this board because I had a problem with my Capricorn boyfriend, and I really cannot believe how much pertains to my situation...

So even though I am new, I wanted to know if you all could help me/give me advice...

I feel heartbroken about my Capricorn boyfriend recently, and I really don't understand his actions nor do I know what to do...

You see, I am a Cancer. We knew each other for two years and dated for one year. I feel devoted to him and love for him, and I thought we had a good relationship. I know Capricorns get the rep of being cold and unfeeling, but I always told him that I knew his actions spoke more than words. I don't want some cheesy movie relationship, I just wanted someone to trust and depend on. I don't demand attention all the time like Cancers get the reputation for, and I do my best to help him in his endeavors while doing my own things. After dating, we were both serious about each other, and he started talking about marriage and children. We also both started making immediate plans which were his ideas that I put into action (like taking an internship to be with him during the summer----his idea, not mine). All of it started with him.

Then it all ended when my mom died. That week, he just stopped...stopped everything. He wouldn't call. And, within that week, he was breaking up with me because he couldn't "see our future". That shocked me greatly. Then the next day, it was "I am so sorry I said that. I don't know what is wrong with me" from him. Then one month later, he changes his mind again. Back and forth he pushes and pulls me now, and each time he says awful things to me that I wouldn't ever dream of saying to him. ...that everything I did was wrong, I wasn't his type anymore, he didn't like my clothes, etc. etc the list gets more absurd. And he said that I became too "needy" or weak at that time. My mom died. Was I supposed to be acting strong about this? My personality hasn't changed much at all. I am still the same girl he was in love with once.

Every time he was mean, I would just get sad...I wouldn't lash out, just cry. I was hurt that this was the same person who was shopping for engagement rings with me and planning our future. Every time he said he was sorry, I thought..."okay..I understand..I just want the old guy back." Everything was fine for a while until his mood hits again, and we repeat the same process. Over and over.

But this month...it has gotten out of hand.
While I was in his hometown for my internship (which he insisted on me coming or else "he would really break up with me"), he basically ignored me and then told me out of the blue that he doesn't know if he likes me anymore. I asked for a yes or a no...some kind of stand, but he said he just didn't know. Then later, he tells me that he now has feelings for his ex-girlfriend (a Libra, who broke up with him *4* years ago), that he had been talking to her a lot more lately since my mother died, and he will try to win her back even though she has a boyfriend. That was so upsetting...but, of course it doesn't stick and he is being nice to me now, saying that he made a mistake and that I shouldn't worry because "he isn't breaking up with me." But, it isn't okay at all. I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror if I put up with this. What frustrates me most is that I don't know WHY this happened.

I don't understand this behavior. Is this normal Capricorn behavior? Because, I was very kind to him, I didn't put him down, I always reassured him that I loved him and that I am not the type to just run away so easily (he would always have this weird thought that I hated him), and now I feel like he just capriciously threw me away. After putting up with this so much, it makes me feel like it is my fault he is doing this, like my mere presence annoys him. More than that, it seems like he is maliciously hurting me, punishing me....I don't understand it at all.

So...any advice is greatly appreciated.

I believe you are right. I am trying to distance myself from him now. It was hard for me because I lost a lot...I didn't want to lose my boyfriend, too...

I am not calling him. That is a good first step

And, I wasn't like that before. Any other time I would be completely okay with handling the situation...like if he was in one of his moods, I would just give him a lot of space and do my own thing. But, the minute that I needed him (really needed him), he just freaked out. I feel like he took advantage of me.

I just had thoughts because I am trying to understand...

I realized that I never really talked about my problems with him when they were going on (for about 5 months)...it was strange, like the minute I got sad about something that wasn't related to him, he was almost jealous of it?? And, I always made excuses for his behavior. Even when I was away from my home, in his city, he invited me and insisted that I come, and I didn't know anyone...I still said to myself "he is annoyed with me and that is natural. I ruined his summer vacation because he wants to visit friends and relax" Now, I think maybe this was just abusee(?) talk.

Some of the signs were so obvious now that I look back from the past month when it was really bad. Whenever I touched his arm or something casually, he would jump one foot back like I had a disease. When given the choice, he did not want to even sit next to me. When I was around him many times, he would do anything to just not talk to me; once he even started reading a book in the middle of our conversation.
Last year, at this time, he was talking to me and laughing. He couldn't get enough of me. Now, he is not calling me and erasing my pictures off his blog. I know I shouldn't care, but it really feels sad to be erased.

I know that no one is perfect, and I probably did annoying things or maybe I made him sad or something...I just can't believe it has come to this.
If it isn't me, then why is he having such a violent reaction to me (i.e. getting rid of me)?

I have tried to take the advice from others. I haven't called or contacted him, and I have tried to think about "me" things and be strong and active. I don't know if it is working.

I just still feel so sad and very depressed. I don't think I miss him. I don't know what it is. As my friends said to me, he had turned into an abusive monster during the last months. But, it didn't feel like it at the time. And, even now, he hasn't called me either (in 3 weeks) even though he claimed that we were still in a relationship. I am basically forgotten about and swept under the rug.

I don't know why I feel so sad though. I know that I shouldn't care, but something is really eating me up. I wonder whether or not he will regret his actions and come back. I always thought that he had a conscience, but maybe I am wrong. This may seem silly and pathetic to ask, but do you guys think he would regret all the things he did?

I just need help. 😢

Also, I read on another post that Capricorns just don't initiate contact with the other person. Do you think I should call him or something?

Cancergirl, Just wait till he calls you. Don't call him. Capricorn might like to get attention from people, but to win his heart, you need to be something he needs to work on it, play hard to get your attention. That wins his respect.

Why would you try to win someone? Either they like you or they don't. If you "win" someone, is it real?

Walk away..........walk away........he's not into doing "heartship stuff" which is the bones and meals of everyone's waking day and nite...........so walk away...what can he provide you with in your moment of lonelieness withiout your lovely mama— nothing of substance..........even if guys talk gibbeish at moments of crisis......its their gibberishness and lack of what knowing what to say....if that doesn't come off...they are more to be pitied...than analyed!!1

This is awful.. sorry to hear about your mom...my prayers to you.

I think you should really move on and do not contact him at all. Just cut all contact. No phone calls, no emails... no explaining your feelings.

He is being a dick head and he knows it.

I find it hard to believe he just cut you off. I think you may have showered too many emotions on him at one time. I am sorry to hear about your mom and I will pray for you.

Truthfully, I hate to admit it but Cap men do get a little jealous of family members. Esp if you are giving them more attention than you are giving him. I did not read all of your story. I have been with a Cap for almost 11 years and yeap, sounds about right.

I know how you feel. My mom was very sick at one time and I took off of work to help her and be with her. She is my mom. The only mom I have in this world. Well she came over to our house during her sickness and he freaked out. He was acting jealous and acting like he wanted my mom to go home. He did not want my mom over our house or anything. It was like she was getting more time and attention than he was getting during her time of sickness. He acted very funny about my mom spending time at our house.

SO, you know Karma is a mother. When his mom got sick, he wanted me to beckon her hand and foot. He wanted me to cater to her needs, help her, stay home with her blah....blah... UM, you know krobe, NOt happening! I did his mom and treated her the same way he treated my mom when she was sick. You see he is still with me, after almost 11 years. SO, you have to sometimes serve him just what he dishes out. No, he will not call you because he feels guilty. Let him go for about 6 weeks to 8 weeks and if you feel like it check back up on him. I dont' really believe in that hard to get type of girl with a secure man. You can make him earn your love without being or playing hard to get. I believe you have to play hard to get with a insecure man.

In my experience with a Cap man, it sounds just like mines and how he would act towards my mom. But, I know it may sound cruel. He wants you to build strength within yourself instead of use his strength. In actuality, it will make you a stronger person and you will harden up on his ass and make him earn your love.

You pretty much need to get hard on his ass. It works! Trust me.

I really appreciate all your prayers about my mom. I don't think I even had time to mourn it, but now that I don't speak to him, my grief about my mom is really coming... So all of your kind words are appreciated!

CapricornMermaid: I am taking your advice and trying my best to move on. It's been a month, and I haven't called him. Does he really know that he is being a monster though? It seems as though he just really isn't even thinking about me.

Krobe and Genome: About cutting me off... I thought this is very strange behavior. You know how when people break up, there is usually a conversation about it or maybe an exchange of the stuff that you left at his apartment,etc. ? This hasn't happened yet. In fact, not even the words "I want to break up with you. This is final" came from him. Nope, this has been a month...and he hasn't called me. He bypassed all the messy breakup stuff to really just "Cut me off."
I don't know why he is avoiding me...am I disgusting to him?

If I overwhelmed him with emotions, it was because my mother just died. So, you may be right. But, for him to start talking to his *ex-girlfriend* within the month, I just don't get that. I find that to be really low. I have no idea why someone could be that cruel.

When I was kind of at my low point, I visited his webspace to see if he had updated it. Actually, he did in a way to describe that he was "obsessed with his ex"

CG18,
I feel you on that note too. LOL! It may seem sick but, I have experienced that same strange behavior with my Cap male. I bet it off by letting him know, that if you want your ex she can have your ass. Beat it. You will experience this kind of strange behavior from a Cap man during the first part of the relationship. Esp. if you have not been together for years. I would let him go after her if that is what he really wants to do at this point in his life. I would tell my Cap man, "well go ahead on with your ex, if that is what you want to do, I am not going to try and stop you". I guess after giving him least resistance, he is still here begging me to marry him.

or just ignore him, and if you can block him or whatever, let him feel the emptiness of rejection.

Yeap, Genome could not have said this any better. The more you give him the famous Cancer silent treatment, the more he will want to get closer to you. LOL! I understand how you feel, I truly feel you and your emotional needs right now. I have been through the same things with my Cap man that you are going through right now. So, don't think that you are just the only woman on this earth that these men pull this stunt on. The more you don't give a dam, the more he will want you to give a dam.

Ignore his ass and reject him with silent treatment. The relationship is not over between you two because trust me, he would come straight out and tell you. He wants you to be strong and build strength from within yourself, instead of using his strength in your time of need. I know it sounds sick and disguisting but he will need you if you stay together in this relationship. I suggest you feed him his same dose of medicine. He will have you so tough inside, that every man in America will want to get a hold of your hard core ass. He is not testing you, he thinks this is a way to make you find strength within yourself.

I am very sorry that your mom died. But, go ahead and grieve over your mom and get that out of your system. This is what he really wants you to do, get it out of your system instead of flooding all of your emotions on him. He is a strange creature indeed. If he really wanted your relationship to be over, he would have told you. Trust me. He will not bite his tongue about telling you to go your own way.

Yes, they do obesses over their ex women. If you tell him to go find her and you wish him the best of with love and life, you will not give him a chance to resist you. So, you are doing best, no contact for at least 30 days to 6 weeks and give him the silent treatment.

Genome, I know you are a Cap male and yes, you would probably want some sort of closure.

I suggest you give him NO closure, NO nothing. Don't give him nothing to resist. If you give him closure, you will let him know that you are thinking about him. I suggesting to you that the more you don't give a dam the more he will want to be with you. I have been with a Cap man for almost 11 years now, I pretty much know how these men tick!

Genome,

I know how you tick! LOL!

You contradicted what I told her to do! Of course you are going to disagree with me because you will constantly sit up saying, UM, I don't like that I disagree. But, again you are a Cap male and I don't WANT you to like what I am doing. I am telling her to give him the way of least resistance. Ignore his ass! Yeah, she can move on if she wants to and kind someone who will be here for her. He is really their for her but he is not going to let her cry on his shoulder and build strength off on him.

I had the same problem with my Cap man doing me the same exact way. The same thing happened with my mom. She did not die, but she was sick! My Cap man did me the same way with showing his unaffectionate cold side. I felt like he would need me to emotionally support him one day and guess what? He did, his mom got sick and I was unaffectionate. He did not leave me hanging but at that point in his life, he had to go and stay at his mom's house. I was not going to be affectionate for him at his time of need when he could not support me during my time of need.

So, I am your match. I feed you what you feed me. Ouch! If you don't like the taste of your own medicine, it is best you do step. Do we have a healthy relationship? He bores the hell out of me and he is a bit controlling, and selfish but compared to other men, I would say YES!

Yeah then again Genome,

I agree with you on that Cancer silent treatment. It will drive a mad man insane. LOL!

Regarding his ex...he REALLY needs to learn that this was a mistake. He knew her for a long time, but she moved away so they kind of had a relationship from afar. Then when they were actually seriously dating, she would always break up with him. I don't know if this matters, but she is a Libra and she kept saying things like that they didn't have anything in common. When she broke up with him the last time on the phone, she was even so tacky as to quote a "Sex in the City" line that she wanted "REAL LOVE." They had been broken up for about *3 years*.

When I first met him, maybe 2 years ago, he was nice and polite. I liked him instantly, I don't know why. Everything was great until he just started acting kind of cold and aloof a month later. I found out that he wanted to date his ex girlfriend again at that time. But, she had a boyfriend. And, she was on the fence about him. Even though he said he liked me before, he back tracked for her. But, you know what...I actually felt sorry for him and told him that I was his friend and I didn't hate him ("What kind of person would I be if I said I was your friend and then left you when you felt sad").

Surprising...the girl did NOT choose him. And, around 4 months later, he started talking to me again. He told me that he made a mistake with her, and that he learned his lesson. I didn't trust him really at first, but the point was I understood. I know what it is like when you come out of a relationship and then you see someone new. It makes you think about the person you used to date, you know?

Time passed for us, and he and I were together and really really happy. I thought I was going to marry him, and he was shopping for my engagement ring. I made future plans about where I was going to get my job. Even the life plan of my summer internship in his hometown. This sounds like a clingy-Cancer thing, right? But, for real, many were his ideas.

So, NOW you can kind of see why this behavior was especially cruel that he is obsessed with his ex again. I forgave him the first time. He should have learned the first time.

His ex still has her boyfriend. I feel sick (and stupid) about that whole thing. I feel like I must have been a fool.

Cancer girl ...

Having known a few cancers, I know you are beating yourself up and trying to figure out what you did wrong. Well, the short answer is nothing. You were open to him and real about your emotions re your mom's passing, and he chose that time to get weird. I am a Cappy, and I can say that if he's vacillating about a relationship at a critical time like that, then he has his own issues and won't be there for yours. And a true, honest Cap never leaves someone in the lurch like that if they've been honest.

You need to just let him go and let the situation heal. He let you down when you really needed him, and that's a personality trait which will not change, regardless of sign.

Take care if yourself. You are too young to let love KO you. I'm older and I'm still looking despite a long resume of relationships.

ddsk

Krobe and Genome, if Capricorns obsess about their ex's, does that mean he'll think about me, too (since I guess I am an ex)?
That's the thing. I mean...maybe I was sweet to him or maybe he didn't think so. I know that no one is perfect. I just always believed that I should not be mean people even if they deserve it. I want to do the right thing and take the higher ground.

Krobe and Genome, if Capricorns obsess about their ex's, does that mean he'll think about me, too (since I guess I am an ex)?
That's the thing. I mean...maybe I was sweet to him or maybe he didn't think so. I know that no one is perfect. I just always believed that I should not be mean people even if they deserve it. I want to do the right thing and take the higher ground.

CG18,
My Cap will bring up his ex from 11.5 years ago OK? LOL! Do I get mad. No, I just tell him well let me let you go on and find her and I hope you are happy with her. Do I forgive him? No, if he tries to tell me he was playing, I go into ignore mode until he humbles down to his knees and asks me to forgive him for being so selfish. Do I threaten to go out and find someone else? UM, yes, I will tell him while he is sitting up thinking about his ex, I am going to find me a man who is thinking of only me. Do I leave the house to return when I want? Um, yes I do and his ass has not mentioned his ex anymore. I let him know upfront that he can be replaced real quick.

No,
He is thinking of you but you have become somewhat to predictable. He is to comfortable with you. He has trust in you and he believes that you will let him come back to you if things don't work out with his ex. girlfriend. You let him come back before and he will keep doing this to you. YOu are going to have to put a HARD foot down. I mean a HARD foot with a Cap man. This time you are not going to be his option. It is either ME OR YOUR EX....You cannot have both of us. I had to do this with my Cap man. I gave him a ultimatum with some packed bags. I told him I was not waiting on him and I don't play that other woman BS! It's me or her but not both of us. So, I guess he was calling my bluff because after 10.6 years he is still here.

These men are very weird creatures. He is not the complex man like a Cancer man. He is very slow moving and he has to make sure that you are the one for him. Be a little bit more exciting and let him know, hey, this is what you will be missing out on if you decide to make your so called greater decision. BYE! NO ifs ands or buts

two words.... run!....wait that's one word...RUN FAST!

I dated two capricorn men-- six years each. I can go on and on about them but the word that basically decribed both of them is insecure. you should also do his and your natal charts for peronality traits. if his behavior is inherant in his personality which it sounds like it is i would bounce (remember you can't change him, but you can change yourself). you could learn a lot about yourself too which is most important. I recently discovered my ex has venus in sagittarus which means he would never settle down..he was a fun, love and leave em type which explains the cheating...i had to put the kaput on that. if you want a life of heartbreak ignore his blantant actions and just take it or play your own games to get him back. i couldn't do that, but those are your choices really. Learn as much about yourself and in the future you can make better choices. Belive actions not words. good luck 🙂

Genome, you guys aren't creepy! 🙂 hehe

You have no idea how this helps me. This message board is my therapy.

I just waved to you through my window, Genome.

About his natal chart, he is Taurus Moon, Capricorn Venus, and Mars in Aquarius. My own natal chart is weird.

Sagigoat, are you saying that I was given warning before?
I guess you are right about it. I feel like a fool to have trusted him again. But, I thought he wouldn't be stupid enough to repeat his big mistakes. I thought he had a good heart; I tried to hope for the best.

I must have asked this question a million times, but do you guys think that his ex will take him back or date him again?
This shouldn't matter. But, it kind of does secretly. I don't want them to get married and have 5 kids (because he wouldn't learn that his actions were wrong if he got the girl of his obsession).

MARS IN AQUARIUS—.....SAY IT AIN'T SO! (cue thunder and lightning)

cancer....giiirrllll.....what did i just say? you are doing a very cancerean (is that even a word?) thing and not taking the enormous hint this fool of man has given you in etch-n-sketch letters. you have depths of feelings that this man will never tap into for you. love is a two way street not a one way ticket to butt f*ck no where. i say this cuz i've been there and that is a lonely place. *sniff, sniff*

btw- my ex had mars in aquarius...my brother and my friend's brother-in-law are aquarians. imho, aquarius in anything means wierdo...again RUN!


"do you understand the words that are coming from my mouth?" - Rush Hour

I don't get it...what does mars in Aquarius mean? Is it like doom?

Poor baby... my heart just really goes out to you.

You asked if I felt he knows he's wrong... and of course, he knows that he is wrong and it's time for you to move on. Continue with the no calling and no contact... have absolutely no contact with him.

He will come around and when he does, you'll have wonderful things happening in your life, you won't want his ass.

You seem to be a sweetheart, you will meet someone better. He needs therapy, you don't! He should be a here on the forum talking about his issues, not you. It's time for you to heal, the creator just opened a wonderful door for you, but closing a rotten one. *hugs*

Mars in Aquarius


It can be a little difficult to understand exactly what makes a Mars in Aquarius native tick. And that's absolutely fine with them--they enjoy surprising people. The tried-and-true methods of getting things done are far too boring for those born with Mars in this unique and original sign. Mars in Aquarius natives often have a rather original view of the world as well.
These natives are generally quite proud of their independence. They are not easily pushed around with Mars in this fixed sign. Because Aquarius is progressive and open-minded when it comes to the world at large, it can be surprising that on a personal level, Mars in Aquarius natives can be quite obstinate. If they feel boxed in, they are quite likely to rebel. If you've discovered a pattern to their ways, they'll make sure they aren't so predictable the next time around. Being seen as "normal" simply won't do!

With Mars, the planet of energy and drive, in an Air sign, these individuals get off on mental and intellectual pursuits. Aquarius is a somewhat scattered sign, even though it's persevering in the long haul. If there's a method to their madness, it isn't always easy to see. Projects are taken on with a shotgun- style approach with this position of Mars.

Mars in Air signs are generally quite clever at getting what they want; in Aquarius, they are particularly adept at getting their way. While this is not an overtly aggressive position of Mars (Aquarius has a manner that is far too detached to come across too forcefully), it is very willful. Combine willfulness with the cleverness of an Air sign, and you have a person who is quite creative about getting what they want--which generally is getting their way! Unlike with Mars in Aries or Leo natives, for example, you won't always know you're being dominated by a Mars in Aquarius native!

One of the most pleasant characteristics of Mars in Aquarius natives is their willingness to let others be. They place a lot of value in freedom and individuality?theirs and yours. They need space to be themselves and plenty of room to breathe. Generally not the touchy-feely types, these natives often laugh at sentimentality and tradition. In personal relationships, their approach to intimacy is definitely on the detached side, which can be baffling and frustrating to more personal and affectionate personalities.

cont. below.....

mars in aquarius (cont.)

Of all the personal planets in the sign of Aquarius, Mars placed here can show the strongest "reformer" streak. The Aquarian ideal of equality works big time with this position, and the desire to push their agenda on others (usually in creative, rather than aggressive, ways) runs high. Obstinacy and a superiority complex are this position's least desirable traits; openness to new ways of doing things (as long as they're not forced upon them) is where they shine.


This is a nice way fo saying WIERDO!

genome,

check your private messages i sent you something awhle ago to help you out.....🙂

Hey phishy,

Can you help me with those charts? Please.

Yeah, Genome,

There is lots of hope for you Cap men. ME! If I have to teach every woman on the boards how to handle you men. Let's get down to the truth. Rough neck!

but i do agree, that any woman who is with a capricorn man has to demand her share of attention and glory. i admit you don't fight a capricorn man like other men. hit hard hit fast, and hold your ground or you'll lose all of it.

I guess I can try compromising since both suggestions krobe and i make can be done at the same time.

Ok ladies here is a Cap man telling you the truth. You have to be rough neck! LOL! You have to hit this man real hard! NO gentle nature is going to do it. You can play sensitive from time to time. I suggest you stick it to him raw! That is the only way you are going to get him going.

that type of behavior would drive me to hostility fast lol. well at least the replaced real quick part. that concept of finding someone else would probably send me into a brooding frenzy. either that or the woman i would be with who does that would learn just how jealous i get and would have no doubt in her mind that its her i want. green is a scary thing with capricorns though. . lol you must drive your hubby insane . i mean that in a good way.


LOL! That is what I want to do. Drive your arse crazy. If you bring up another woman to me, your arse is getting replaced and I will take your teenager daughter out to the club and let her see me flirt with another man. LOL! I will let her come back and tell you, daddy I think you have been replaced.

I told my Cap you can be replaced (You know Beyonce's sound irreplacable) and he started saying, No, No, you can't leave me. You won't find another man better than me. I am the best man in your life, nobody will ever love you the way I do. Don't replace me please, I will be good. Yeah, talk about another woman again. LOL! I am hitting the streets homeboy and see how quick I won't replace your arse.

LOL!
Yeah he was the same exact way about dividing up the goods. You know me though, so what divide them. You wanted to remininsce on your ex, I wanted to get a quick replacement so I felt I did the best thing. I let him know that I am not sitting around waiting on you to go find her, I am out.

He was really hurt but I don't believe that you should say things to a woman and not mean them. If you want someone else, I wish you happiness. However, why get mad at me for replacing you so quickly. Yeah, it took him some time but he does not talk about his ex anymore either. SO, yes he puts family first, Cap men are really good men. You cannot take any mess off of him though. I am my Cap man's lose and I will make him realize that really quick. I don't have time or room in my life for crying and whining over him. BYE!

The last two sentences mean, " You must not know about me, I can find another you in a minute, matter of fact he will be here in a minute. I am not whining, crying or shedding 1 tear because my man can be replaced if he does not appreciate me!

COMMITMENT PHOBIC

1. They usually have a history of short relationships and they may never have been married - there is often an excuse that they haven't met the right woman, or they justify their history by saying they still have plenty of time to settle down as they can have children at any age. A favourite line is "someday".

2. If they have been married it is likely to have been for a short time, or, if they have been in a long term relationship or marriage, they will usually have a history of infidelity.

3. They want a relationship but they also want freedom and space so they are often attracted to long distance relationships and busy independent women.

4. They are fast to move in on a woman they are attracted to, and they pursue ardently until they win the woman over.

5. They are very charming. They say and do all the right things and they can be very romantic. They are very good salesmen to get their own needs met, but in reality they have very little concern for the woman's feelings, as they are always operating from hidden agendas.

6. These men are usually very affectionate and loving. This is because in their mind the relationship is not going to be long term, so they feel free to give affection and love, knowing it won't be forever. It isn't long though before they suddenly start rejecting the woman, by not ringing or not wanting to see her for days, or not including her in weekend arrangements etc. This is because they subtly want to give the woman the message that they don't want a long term committed relationship.

7. Severe commitment phobics play the seduction/rejection game. They can't make the decision to give totally to the relationship, but they can't commit to walk away either. They feel trapped by both choices. They feel love for the woman when they don't see her, but they want to run away when they become involved again.

8. Commitment phobics love the chase but they don't want the kill. This may happen after 1 night, 1 week, 1 month, 3 months or 1 year. They may start sabotaging just as they are about to get married, or just before or after there's a decision made to move in together.

9. They spin stories to justify their contradictory behaviour, and when the woman threatens to leave the relationship they may make promises to change, but they never do.

COMMITTMENT PHOBIC PART 2

11. evaluate whether he wants to change and whether he is capable of changing - some men will fall into this category but most won't. Also evaluate how patient you are.

12. Don't think it was your fault when a commitment phobic relationship ends but learn form it. Make sure you don't get involved with one of these types of men again. Watch carefully for the behaviours.

13. Take care of yourself first as there is a high chance this man won't be there for you when you really need him, despite his sweet words when he is in the mood.

14. If you are continually attracting commitment phobics, you will need some coaching to get different results.

15. If you are in pain from a commitment phobic relationship you may need some coaching to heal and move forward.

16. If you are can be hard to get and act as if you are committment phoebic in the relationship, he will want to commit to you more than he has committed to any other woman. You will be the "one". LOL!

OOPS! I spelled phobic wrong.

Ahh okay, sounds wonders for self esteem.

NO Genome, I am commitment phobic. LOL! No, truthfully I really hate commitment. It is not because of low self esteem. It is just the thought of never being able to have freedom or space to just be you and go out and have fun that makes you want to walk away from the relationship.

Yeap,
Genome welcome to the world of commitment phobics. I feel the same exact way you do about commitment. I prefer to be single and just flirt, flirt, flirt until my heart is content. But, I have been in a long term relationship and now I feel trapped. I am ready to see someone else and the problem is that I know I am hurting the someone else because I won't commit to him either. Yuk! But, hey, I don't like dead weight and I love my freedom to pick and chose what I want in my life including men.

I know it sounds deceptive and hoarish for a woman but men are just not commitment phobics women are too. I am a perfect example of one. I attract men like flies. I show them so much love, affection, warmth and I play hard to get at the same time but when they want me to leave the man I am with or move in with them, I act very indifferent. And run in the other direction. But, I am seeking help. This is an awful feelings to love more than one man at a time.

the self esteem part was about the guy thinking he's easily replaced not yours....He can be replaced in a minute. I'm really not joking about that part.

meant that it can't be fun for him to know that he isn't quite special, but life is complicated. Feeling trapped is no fun either. Either way gl. The entire till death till part thing maybe a little over drawn. not sure how many people can be by each other for their entire lives.

Yeah, I know and my Cap constantly tells me that he is with me for life, I have to leave him. I don't know if I want to spend the rest of my life with one person yet. Oh, I am seeking help. God forgive me!

Genome, lol, yes my mini-golf date was fabulous. Thank you~~

I am very committed, and I actually stay in relationships trying to make it work because I always try to believe it will get better. I don't know, I want to think of relationships as a team thing. When my mom was sick during the first years, I actually took some time in school to take care of her. I like the idea of unconditional love. I wouldn't easily run from a guy when the times were rough.

This new natal chart thing says that my Venus is in Gemini which means I'm a player? That's odd.
Other than that, I am a blend of air and water (Libra Moon, Pisces Rising, Cancer Mercury, Libra Mars). I thought those don't mix. This may mean I'm screwed.

actually, I think it not the Gemini Venus but the Pisces rising that screws me up. my head is in the clouds much of the time. Oh well, at least I told that to my sushi date after I had my famed minigolf date. The night just wasn't long enough. I could have fit more guys in... 😛

I have a Gemini moon does that mean I am screwed too Genome?

"Actually, I think it not the Gemini Venus but the Pisces rising that screws me up. my head is in the clouds much of the time."


LOL how did you figure that— President Bush is a Cancer with NO Pisces influence and he is the biggest airhead ever!!

"...fool me once, shame on ? shame on you. Fool me...um....twice.....um....you can't get fooled again! heh heh heh" ?President George W.

I am a Pisces Sun, Venus and Mercury and everyone says i have a great head on my shoulders....so just off the top of my head i'm thinking the "head in the clouds" thing is coming from... (whispers and points)the other water sign or even your libra moon....

however, your pisces rising can affect you positively by making you super creative, sensitive, tender hearted or can affect you negatively by making self indulgent usually resulting in some kind of escapism like addiction to drinking or drugs or depression (thus the upward fish and downward fish). the thing about pisces is you can have any combo which makes this influence kind of complicated depending on who are and/or where you are in life.

Genome is right, it's your gemini venus is what's f*cking you up, because it effects how you love. You get bored pretty easily and have what's called the shiny ball syndrome (oooh look, look, look) in other words you change your mind a lot depending on who's standing in front of you. But you are also talkative and a lot of fun. I have a gemini moon but good thing i have scorp rising so it puts the kaput on all that dueling twin crap.

by the looks of things you don't have anything that strong (like decisive scorpio, capricorn or aries) to keep that gemini in check so good luck with that, but at least you're aware of it, so you can work on that part of your life🙂

gemini venus, libra mars, libra moon....can you even make a decision in love?? by the looks of things you don't know what you want...LOL! no wonder you haven't left this guy!!