Capricorn problems or just me?

Ive heard that us caps tend to get extremely negative and depressed when our goals are not met, so how do you guys battle it? I know sometimes stuff just dont go your way in life, but this is just ridiculous.. Ive had the same goal for about 10 years now (sounds stupid I know) and still have yet to accomplish it. I know I'll probably just be told disband it, but im to stubborn. That, and it affects my other goals.

Its definitely took its toll on me. :\

Thats the thing though, my goal is to just find love. Im 23 years old and still have yet to find it. The reason it affects my other goals is becabuse I can wake up and go to work, but I still come home to be alone. Then I go to work miserable and ruin my work ethic and loose my job, thus preventing me from moving out of the hell hole I call a home. Its a horrible vicious circle.

I know this all sounds really lame, but I just wanted to talk to other caps about it. Plus I dont have many friends.

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by Dwax
Thats the thing though, my goal is to just find love. Im 23 years old and still have yet to find it. The reason it affects my other goals is becabuse I can wake up and go to work, but I still come home to be alone. Then I go to work miserable and ruin my work ethic and loose my job, thus preventing me from moving out of the hell hole I call a home. Its a horrible vicious circle.

LMAO i'm sorry to laugh, but your 23 years old, in a way this is SO SWEET, because sometimes i feel like this.

God i didn't realize some caps had hearts. Cool.

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I have a huge heart and no-one to share it with. Its upsetting

Posted by CluelessCancer
You don't find love tho hon. Love finds you. Chill out. Make your money. Move out of your house. So that when love does find you, you can stroke it all night long without mom catching you.

get it.

I live by myself which is even worse.

Not sure. My birthday is Jan 1st, I dont know how to calculate it.

Said my moon sign is cancer actually.

Posted by Dwax
Thats the thing though, my goal is to just find love. Im 23 years old and still have yet to find it. The reason it affects my other goals is becabuse I can wake up and go to work, but I still come home to be alone. Then I go to work miserable and ruin my work ethic and loose my job, thus preventing me from moving out of the hell hole I call a home. Its a horrible vicious circle.

You have to understand that; love isn't a goal that you make on your own. That's you wanting to control something that isn't meant to be controlled. Love comes to you; especially when your not looking for it, and aren't really thinking about it.

You setting it as a goal; is more like wanting to control when it happens. That's why your disappointed and depressed. Let go; stop trying to control it. Enjoy the now, your only 23. I'm not saying be a slut, no. What I'm saying is enjoy what connections you do develop with others. Enjoy the company, the friendships, socialize, let things take it's course on it's own as it should be.

Don't control it; because it's not going to happen the way you want it. It will happen in it's won given time. Love will find you_??

Like I said all I want is love. I dont understand why its impossible for me to find. I dont care what anyone tells me, I wont rest easy til I find it. It'd be easier f I was able to just hook up with women, but I had a casual encounter awhile back and it was just awkward, and even more depressing because no heart was behind it.

I meant " on it's own given time." Sorry for the typo.

Posted by Impulsv
True find ur joy without the love then love will find u. If ur walking around mopy, sad, unfulfilled because u have not found love, that's the energy people see. But if ir happy even with out love guess what people want to be around a happy positive person. Ull be more open to love.
Love can be shared with Freinds finally stranger, while waiting for that special person. Cheer up ur alive healthy, young, love will come🙂

I dont ever let my emotions be shown though. Even if im miserable, im still the guy in the room making everyone laugh and bringing smiles to faces. If it bothers me enough, I just leave and go be by myself. I dont like to let people see me upset because I feel that negative energy rubs off on others and thats not cool.

Posted by Sagittarius2315

Posted by Dwax
Thats the thing though, my goal is to just find love. Im 23 years old and still have yet to find it. The reason it affects my other goals is becabuse I can wake up and go to work, but I still come home to be alone. Then I go to work miserable and ruin my work ethic and loose my job, thus preventing me from moving out of the hell hole I call a home. Its a horrible vicious circle.

You have to understand that; love isn't a goal that you make on your own. That's you wanting to control something that isn't meant to be controlled. Love comes to you; especially when your not looking for it, and aren't really thinking about it.

You setting it as a goal; is more like wanting to control when it happens. That's why your disappointed and depressed. Let go; stop trying to control it. Enjoy the now, your only 23. I'm not saying be a slut, no. What I'm saying is enjoy what connections you do develop with others. Enjoy the company, the friendships, socialize, let things take it's course on it's own as it should be.

Don't control it; because it's not going to happen the way you want it. It will happen in it's won given time. Love will find you_—

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There comes in the controlling Capricorn nature. I cant help it man. :\

Posted by CluelessCancer
A cap with a Cancer moon is a wondrous thing.

Im glad you like it. My ruined self esteem prevents me from enjoying anything about myself. I have a ruined self esteem, but I know I have a big heart. Im never mean to others, always kind, always share. Its why im so puzzled.

Posted by Impulsv
Ok it's cliche but u need to start by loving urself. How can u give love if u don't like urself. Work on u to became that man with the self esteem so u can be the best u can be to u n ur love. U are perfect just the way U are yet u don't even know it.

thats another thing. My self esteem is ruined, but its not. I know I have a good heart. I have a really good heart. In real life you'd never know im depressed. Im always smiling bringing fun and laughter to the room. Im a pretty funny person. Itll sound kind of too cocky too, but I know im a Dan good looking guy.

Posted by StillWater

Posted by Dwax

Posted by CluelessCancer
A cap with a Cancer moon is a wondrous thing.

Im glad you like it. My ruined self esteem prevents me from enjoying anything about myself. I have a ruined self esteem, but I know I have a big heart. Im never mean to others, always kind, always share. Its why im so puzzled.

What do you think that the world OWES you something just because of couple of kind words and actions? No, the only thing that is owed is that you OWE YOURSELF to be proud of who you are at the end of the day. That's it. What happens in the middle is not within your control or demand.

You cannot whine and complain when you don't get back what you want. If your heart is really that big then you would focus more on giving than receiving. There are many forms of love and sinceyou have so much time on your hands may be you should volunteer to give some of that big hearted love away instead of sulking in a bath tub filled with hearts and roses.

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I do things for people all of the time. Whether its buying someone something to eat, giving them a ride, maybe cleaning after a party since I cant stand a mess. ID do anything for my friends and family. Im not some little selfish prick like you think I am, whether I come off like it or not. Ive just set a goal I habe no control over. It was a bad idea I know, but who are you to judge? Im well aware im on a public message board, but dont make me out to be some selfish ashore because im for from that.

http://instagram.com/p/houKBIRyr7/<BR>
http://instagram.com/p/hr7H1rRyhg/<BR>
http://instagram.com/p/fagJT_xyoM/

Dwax

I am sure you will find a way to achieve your goals

As you always had done in the past and now trying very hard in the future

As for your goal of love

You cant force another to love you they either do or they dont

Maybe its best for you to goal yourself and make loving yourself priority over loving others

Smells like teen spirit...

Anyway...the panther girl has a point: If you did or you do have such a big heart you??d forget about yourself.

Nevertheless we all cope with loneliness in different manners and it is normally something we try to avoid. But on the other hand sometimes it's ok, even beneficial to be alone and to accept it, it gives you time to broaden your perspective on different matters...although you do have to have some sort of level-headedness so it doesn't eat you up inside and turns you into a ...erm...you?

Dude, love is nice and to have a woman next to you is cool too...but come on! it's also hard work, don't let Hollywood fool you! hehe

So...keep calm

Posted by Dwax
Like I said all I want is love. I dont understand why its impossible for me to find. I dont care what anyone tells me, I won't rest easy till I find it. It'd be easier if I was able to just hook up with women, but I had a casual encounter awhile back and it was just awkward, and even more depressing because no heart was behind it.

Cap with a Cancer moon here. Casual encounters are not for me either, not without at least some feeling behind it. Either I want to be friends with them first or become friends with them after.
So if you know they are not for you then don't bother with them. Take this as a lesson and keep moving.

And otherwise, enjoy the experience and don't expect anything to come from it. Thank the lady for a nice evening and give her your number. Leave the initiative up to her. And be a gentleman about it.

My first time was a one-night stand with a friend of a friend. She told me I was a lousy fuck but we had so much fun and I was so enthusiastic that she enjoyed it nonetheless.

Posted by Dwax

There comes in the controlling Capricorn nature. I cant help it man. :\

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Bullshit.
Having a backup plan in case something goes wrong is not the same as trying to force something that you have no control over. You CAN help it.
This is just a lame excuse and self-pity.

Posted by Dwax

Posted by CluelessCancer
A cap with a Cancer moon is a wondrous thing.

Im glad you like it. My ruined self esteem prevents me from enjoying anything about myself. I have a ruined self esteem, but I know I have a big heart. I'm never mean to others, always kind, always share. Its why i'm so puzzled.

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Being nice to others doesn't mean you have a big heart. Some people use 'helping others' as a means to cope with their own insecurities, to make people love them. It doesn't work like that.
You will always be 'The nice guy' that nobody has any real respect for. And it's not attractive at all.

My biggest lesson from last year was to stop worrying about what other people wanted and do whatever I want. So if you are in a group and nobody knows what to do, tell them "Well whatever, I am doing that and who wants to join me can follow." And keep walking.

And you know what, people started coming to me.
Turns out that if you have a big heart you won't hurt people by being selfish. On the contrary, you will already have taken their concerns into account and be confident that you can help them if it does go wrong.
And sometimes, doing what is best for you is also the best for others.

"If you keep doing the same thing that you always have, you will always keep getting the same thing you always got."
Change your way of living. Focus on working out, improve your diet, go to flirting classes, whatever. Go out for a drink with friends, strike up a conversation with random strangers, or go and do something with colleagues that you hardly know.
And if that doesn't help, change environments. Move to another town.
And don't worry about leaving people behind. If they really cared they will stay in touch.
If not, well a new town means new chances. You can reinvent yourself.

Your problem isn't that you can't find love but that you hate where you are right now. And it shows. Even here.

Posted by champranger

Posted by Dwax
Thats the thing though, my goal is to just find love. Im 23 years old and still have yet to find it. The reason it affects my other goals is becabuse I can wake up and go to work, but I still come home to be alone. Then I go to work miserable and ruin my work ethic and loose my job, thus preventing me from moving out of the hell hole I call a home. Its a horrible vicious circle.

More often than not, I think things will turn up when we stop looking for them.

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Like I said, Don't go home then. Hang out with friends, organize a fun night out.
Be amazed as people start inviting you.

Sometimes we can step away from our goals for a small amount of time. When you stop trying, that's when you achieve. Like if you try too hard, you're battling against the wind. Stepping away allows us to regroup, re-energize, re-evaluate and make a new plan.

I believe we all get discouraged at some point.

Posted by Dwax
Not sure. My birthday is Jan 1st, I dont know how to calculate it.

Hey birthday buddy!! Mine is the same. 🙂

Here's something no one else mentioned.

What are your hobbies? What are you passionate about?

Find your passions and interests and explore them. Heck, even exploit them. lol!
What I mean is find groups that are interested in what you're interested in.

Reading? Join a book club.
Home Improvement? Take a class.
Flying model planes? Find a group that does it.
Working out? Join a gym.
Competitive? Find things to compete in.
Card games? Find a tournament.
Trekkie? Go to a convention.
Shooting hand guns? Participate in a target shooting competition.
Want to learn something new? Take classes. Like at the college, or a self defense class, painting, etc
Etc.

Participating in activities that you like and are interested in automatically puts you in contact with someone of the same interests.

Then, don't worry about meeting someone. Make friends. Have fun. Just go with your passions. Passionate people are ATTRACTIVE and energizing and charasmatic. Passionate people draw others in.

Stop putting focus on finding love. Get passionate and love will accidentally find you.

You may not be showing your depression and sadness. You think you're not, but they still come through. You may even appear to be desperate when you first meet someone - are you thinking is this it? is this her? She senses that.

So run with the passions. Let your passionate freak flag fly high. When you're focused on that, the desperation goes away.

And STOP BEING SO NICE!!! Girls like a naughty boy. 😉

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by Dwax
Said my moon sign is cancer actually.

I'm not surprised. 🙂 Only a water moon sign would be concerned with their heart in the Cap board.

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I knew he'd be a Cancer moon.

Posted by Dwax

I have a huge heart and no-one to share it with. Its upsetting

Caps with a huge heart are the best of all. Just hang on, you're still young. Love will find you. Guaranteed!