Capricorns who destroy relationships

Time after time (4 years now, I have even been on dxpnet before talking about him) one particular cap has tried to destroy me emotionally. What seems to happen is that he perceives something so minuscule as rejection and then says really nasty things, laughs at me, acts like i am nothing or in the most recent case flirts with my friends. However, i can take it and everything he has put me through has made me so much stronger. But anyway i think he is hyper sensitive, as am i, we both have venus square saturn natally and I think we both have issues of feeling worthless.

I feel like if he thinks he may be rejected he will ruin everything so badly so that we can never work again. He has stooped so low but I still love him and mentioned this to his cousin a while back.

We havent had any contact for a while because I deleted his number. To my surprise he contacted me yesterday and I think he wants to make a go of things. I will put my 100% for him and not give up but deep down I worry, has he lost all respect for me and possibly just stringing me along because he thinks Im a psycho or does he see how forgiving I am and that i would fight for him.

When he called today he said he wanted to meet up, I had to go quickly because I was at work but did text him 'sorry about everything in the past' and he replied 'dont worry'. Is that his way of apology accepted and a clean slate. I actually feel that I deserve an apology from him but I would rather be the first to say it as I am the softer one. Can I get my hopes up this time and does he see how much I love him? Or is the fact that he did and said such hurtful things and how I still said I loved him mean he has no respect for me and he will just string me along?

Omg! Prove to yourself how "strong" you are, and tell this fucktard to go fuck himself.

For anyone that understands synastry, below is our charts:

Me:

Sun Libra 10.10 Ascendant Virgo 24.42
Moon Capricorn 25.11 II Libra 17.27
Mercury Libra 4.19 III Scorpio 16.44
Venus Scorpio 9.14 IV Sagittarius 22.55
Mars Sagittarius 28.36 V Capricorn 29.58
Jupiter Capricorn 4.56 VI Pisces 0.35
Saturn Scorpio 14.35 VII Pisces 24.42
Uranus Sagittarius 10.26 VIII Aries 17.27
Neptune Sagittarius 28.49 IX Taurus 16.44
Pluto Scorpio 1.12 Midheaven Gemini 22.55
Lilith Aries 3.01 XI Cancer 29.58
Asc node Taurus 28.24 XII Virgo 0.35

Him:

Sun Capricorn 28.36 Ascendant Capricorn 4.44
Moon Libra 3.41 II Aquarius 27.48
Mercury Capricorn 15.24 III Aries 15.16
Venus Sagittarius 11.45 IV Taurus 13.47
Mars Capricorn 28.54 V Gemini 3.06
Jupiter Leo 4.45 R VI Gemini 18.59
Saturn Virgo 13.21 R VII Cancer 4.44
Uranus Scorpio 20.25 VIII Leo 27.48
Neptune Sagittarius 19.28 IX Libra 15.16
Pluto Libra 19.15 Midheaven Scorpio 13.47
Lilith Leo 10.52 XI Sagittarius 3.06
Asc node Virgo 18.47 XII Sagittarius 18.59

Cap Moon vs Libra Moon...that explains it. lol

Posted by stillwat3r
Well, what are you sorry about? What did you do?

Most caps have very good reasons for "ruining relationships". It's just that others don't understand those reasons especially fire and air sign people but other earth signs get it.

The reason I was sorry was because, in May this year he told me that it was not going to work and good luck. He had never told me that over the years, so when I heard this I thought it was final. Anyway, I deleted his number and moved on, around June I met someone new who I only talked to as a friend. This friend I told that i was not ready to move on and that I didnt want to date him. Anyway, so me and this person just spoke on the phone. Then in the middle of July cap contacts me out the blue and said 'lets make this relationship work, lets meet this weekend'. Now this was out the blue, I met up with him and I left my phone in the car; he went through it and saw the messages of the other person, they were not bad AT ALL, they were just islamic texts actually, quotes and stuff; there was one text that said 'i like talking to you yas, but i dont get to talk to you much', and that was the most. After he saw it he went mad, I told him there and then to call that guy and that I never even had one date with him, I was looking him straight in the eye being honest, I didnt even mind leaving my phone in the car because I have nothing to hide. Anyway cap started being very cold and took my friends number and started texting her, that is what i mean by below the belt. Luckily he texted my best friend who is a cap and she told him to fk off. But the point is, when he saw the texts in my phone I looked him in the eye and said 'you told me to get lost a few months ago like it was voer for good, thats why I talked to another guy'. To this day I still havent met up with that guy, he is just a friend but last night I told him that my ex had been in touch and that I wana make things work with him.

I dont have male friends and cap knows this but after cap telling me to get lost I thought I should just move on, even though I didnt end up liking the guy, I didnt do nothing wrong, only phone calls and texts.

Posted by Wynter
Omg! Prove to yourself how "strong" you are, and tell this fucktard to go fuck himself.

But I love him and I'm so happy he contacted me again?

Posted by Wynter
Cap Moon vs Libra Moon...that explains it. lol

Really? Also we have libra sun vs cap sun, both are sun and moon are conjunct, I read that means we are compatible?

Why are you letting the way he's treating you slide? Stop letting him emotional abuse you.

His hyper sensitivity is not your problem and it's not your fault he is hurt IF HE EVEN IS...

Posted by caliber

Posted by yas786
Time after time (4 years now, I have even been on dxpnet before talking about him) one particular cap has tried to destroy me emotionally.

i didn't read your whole post. this is as far as i got... wanna know why? anyone who makes you feel like shit for 4 years most likely deserves a really bad case of scabies, and you need a kick in the ass and a backbone.

people will respect you, only as much as you respect yourself.

click to expand

I understand what you mean. But I feel that what some of the things he has criticised in me were kinda true, e.g. how I was too clingy and not independent enough a few years ago. Yes it was been a difficult process, my heart has been shattered but it has been rebuilt stronger. Also, I must have contributed to why he behaved the way he did towards me, through self reflection I can see how in some, not all instances, I wasnt in the right and as time goes on I improve more and more. He has taught me more than anyone.

Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius
Why are you letting the way he's treating you slide? Stop letting him emotional abuse you.

His hyper sensitivity is not your problem and it's not your fault he is hurt IF HE EVEN IS...

I think as a venus in scorpio, I can handle it. People who hurt others are normally hurting themselves, I dont want him to hurt. But his treatment has got better over time, most importantly, right now, he is nice, I feel like after all this if we are still in contact it must mean something?

He has no right to do this.

I think there are two sides to the story. In all fairness it is your choice to be emotionally abused at one point.

I am not being emotionally abused. What I was trying to say that yes he has been mean to me and I highlighted how low he stooped because I would never do that to him, but also, I am not perfect, maybe at time I pushed him away but through all of the ups and downs he seems like he wants to make it work.

What I wanted to find out from caps was, after all the ups and downs, if he can really see my feelings as true and genuinely wants to make it work properly and that our love did stand the test of time OR, if there is a chance these thoughts dont even cross his mind and that he is just stringing me along because he knows I love him?

His Pluto conjunct your Sun:

http://www.cafeastrology.com/synastry/sun_pluto_aspects.html<BR>
http://www.theastrologyplace.uk/2011/02/sun-pluto-in-synastry.html

Posted by caliber
omfg... i can't with these kinds of threads anymore. stop with the fairy-tale love story already. that shit does NOT exist. it's all made up in your head.

woman. your attitude about his behavior is pathetic. the saddest part is you know what he's doing and yet you still allow him to be a scumbag to you. you want sympathy? yeah, not gonna happen.

if a man loves you, he doesn't treat you like shit, play head games with you, make you feel like you're less of a person, text your friends out of spite, or use you like a fucking yo-yo. realize this. have some self respect, and walk away with whatever dignity you have left.

I didnt want sympathy but appreciate your honesty.

Posted by yas786
Time after time (4 years now, I have even been on dxpnet before talking about him) one particular cap has tried to destroy me emotionally. What seems to happen is that he perceives something so minuscule as rejection and then says really nasty things, laughs at me, acts like i am nothing or in the most recent case flirts with my friends. However, i can take it and everything he has put me through has made me so much stronger. But anyway i think he is hyper sensitive, as am i, we both have venus square saturn natally and I think we both have issues of feeling worthless.

I feel like if he thinks he may be rejected he will ruin everything so badly so that we can never work again. He has stooped so low but I still love him and mentioned this to his cousin a while back.

We havent had any contact for a while because I deleted his number. To my surprise he contacted me yesterday and I think he wants to make a go of things. I will put my 100% for him and not give up but deep down I worry, has he lost all respect for me and possibly just stringing me along because he thinks Im a psycho or does he see how forgiving I am and that i would fight for him.

When he called today he said he wanted to meet up, I had to go quickly because I was at work but did text him 'sorry about everything in the past' and he replied 'dont worry'. Is that his way of apology accepted and a clean slate. I actually feel that I deserve an apology from him but I would rather be the first to say it as I am the softer one. Can I get my hopes up this time and does he see how much I love him? Or is the fact that he did and said such hurtful things and how I still said I loved him mean he has no respect for me and he will just string me along?

This does not in any way sound like a healthy relationship. Look up narcissistic personality disorder.
Any time you're with a man that makes you feel "worthless" you have to walk away and never look back. Also, someone that never admits their wrongdoings or contributions to the break down of a relationship is questionable imo. Work on your issues first, on your own...and then maybe the kind of men you attract and are drawn to will treat you better. Good luck!

Posted by yas786

Posted by caliber

Posted by yas786
Time after time (4 years now, I have even been on dxpnet before talking about him) one particular cap has tried to destroy me emotionally.

i didn't read your whole post. this is as far as i got... wanna know why? anyone who makes you feel like shit for 4 years most likely deserves a really bad case of scabies, and you need a kick in the ass and a backbone.

people will respect you, only as much as you respect yourself.

I understand what you mean. But I feel that what some of the things he has criticised in me were kinda true, e.g. how I was too clingy and not independent enough a few years ago. Yes it was been a difficult process, my heart has been shattered but it has been rebuilt stronger. Also, I must have contributed to why he behaved the way he did towards me, through self reflection I can see how in some, not all instances, I wasnt in the right and as time goes on I improve more and more. He has taught me more than anyone.

click to expand

You can't change who you are. Neither can he change who he is. Eventually, someone's going to have to throw in the towel. You both deserve to be with people you don't want to change or people that don't want to change you.

Posted by SpiceNSugar
His Pluto conjunct your Sun:

http://www.cafeastrology.com/synastry/sun_pluto_aspects.html<BR>
http://www.theastrologyplace.uk/2011/02/sun-pluto-in-synastry.html

This aspect in synastry is karmic and is the source of your obsessive/compulsive attraction to one another. Make no mistake though, Pluto will always have the upper hand.

Omg - leave him

He's only doing this cos u started to move on and talk to other guys. He never thought u would as he thinks you are a doormat with low self esteem... He wants what he can't have, when he has you he doesn't want you and treats you like crap cos he can and you are letting him...he is selfish and spoilt kid throwing his dummy out of the pram having a tantrum

Please leave him and walk away with your head up high.

Posted by CluelessCancer
Is it your religion that makes you this pliant and submissive, do you think that you're not a good woman, if you don't take a man's abuse...

i know you, i've seen you before, this is all cultural BS.

don't do that to yourself.

I remember you made some helpful points last time when I made a thread about him. I dont think how I am is related to my religion. I will admit my self esteem was not good in the past, but I think I have strong self esteem now.

I am taking everyone's comments on board, it is making me think at maybe how I come across.

Also, let me add more to the story.

Last night he called me, i didnt even ask him to apologise like i mentioned in my thread but he told me that he is truly sorry and called himself a dkhead and that he wants to see me on my bday coming up and the week after too. Even the last time we met and all that stuff that happened with my phone, prior to him going to my phone he was really sweet that day, like spoiling me and not letting me pay even when I left money at the counter and even when we went to eat his friend called him, he answered and started saying how he's having a good time with yas and that I'm not eating enough.

Maybe what I am trying to say is that I see effort in him and over time as we have got closer and got through many misunderstandings, I see him trying. He doesnt pressure me to be physical (he did at the start) and respects me, we only kiss. I feel like its been hard work but we're getting there. Do I still sound crazy? I'm not trying to make excuses but just explaining why I am still here.

Posted by CluelessCancer
Stockholm Syndrome. I contributed to him treating me like sheet.

omg, did you're father beat you or your mother as a child, did you grow up in an abusive household...—

Yeah there was some abuse in my childhood but that was resolved and I forget the past rather than let it define me.

Shall i tell you what made me bond with him more than anyone? He recognised that there was something up from my earlier years and asked me to open up to him. In the past my own family members denied things, minimized things, my own friends didnt really understand and I learnt to just deny anything because no one wanted to know and I didnt want make a fuss or talk like a victim. I had one boyfriend before cap who was a scorpio and when i began opening up to him he also shut me down and said not to talk about it.

Then I met cap, I never mentioned anything about any issues from my childhood, by that point I was in total denial and learned to forget it, but HE kept asking me to open up, he said many times 'open up to me yas, share anything with me, I will help you'. I still denied and said my life had been great as a child, I didnt realise but I did have a wall up but cap persisted. Anyway one day in an argument I got very emotional and my 'stuff' came out, and he didnt reject me, he taught me to be strong and that I didnt deserve what happened. No one, not even my own mother ever talked about this 'thing', but cap did. Somehow, through the cap, I resolved many of my issues because I stopped blaming myself. He even said yesteday that he loves me and have a good heart. This is why I love him, he accepts me fully and helped me realise to stop blaming myself.

I hope I dont sound like an idiot revealing too much or trying to make people feel sorry for me, Im not, i have a good life and everything but I have had many positive changes through him.

He also opened up to me about his childhood and how poor his family was, that they couldnt even afford school uniform etc. He had issues with his speech like stammering and stuttering as a child. Like he hasnt had an easy life either, he's had issues with drugs and opened up to me too. I feel like none of us judge the other, over time its like the feelings have become unconditional.

But as I said before, my interpretation may be wrong and he could actually be calculated and working on my weaknesses and just stringing me along. But I just cant imagine someone being that mean?

So far from people's comments, even though I find it hard accepting, it looks like the latter.

Thanks for your feedback

Posted by SpiceNSugar

Posted by SpiceNSugar
His Pluto conjunct your Sun:

http://www.cafeastrology.com/synastry/sun_pluto_aspects.html<BR>
http://www.theastrologyplace.uk/2011/02/sun-pluto-in-synastry.html

This aspect in synastry is karmic and is the source of your obsessive/compulsive attraction to one another. Make no mistake though, Pluto will always have the upper hand.

click to expand

Thanks for your help.

But because it a 9 degree conjunction, is it still applicable? Also, we have pluto square sun and pluto square mars and I am the pluto and its around 2 degrees, does that equal out the power?

The extent some people go to excuse someone's behavior is mind boggling.

The truth is in your gut, not the stars... Start with that.

I'm not an expert in any way, but what I do know is that Pluto aspects of any kind can create this obsessive type of attraction in addition to deep pain mixed with profound growth.

Knowing what I know about your turbulent relationship with this Cap, it fits the bill. Read up on it to better understand the dynamics involved.

Sounds about right

Its true, Im not his therapist but I just dont think he has had anyone understand him because people think hes cold and heartless; plus I feel he wants to help me the same too

Yesterday he called me during my lunch and played 'we belong together' by mariah carey, he actually made me listen to this part as he played it down the phone from his car:

didn't mean it when I said I didn't love you so
I should've held on tight, I never should've let you go
I didn't know nothing, I was stupid, I was foolish
I was lying to myself

I could not fathom I would ever be without your love
Never imagined I'd be sitting here beside myself
'Cause I didn't know you, 'cause I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I've never fail

I was really shocked but I do feel that is his way of saying sorry and expressing how he feels. I didnt even know he listened to this type of music. I didnt even think he would call as much but it feels like after everything has happened he finally believes my feelings are real. To me it is a big deal that he played that song because he used to ignore me and express no emotions and is just so stoic, so to play that meant alot.

But taking on board all the comments I will tread carefully, i really do want kids and i will give it my all, i think he is doing that too. If he reverted to his spitefulness I would walk away, and i did in the past.

I used to date this saggie with a venus in cap and saturn in the 7th. I am a venus in cap and inhave venus sq saturn. He was very insecure. He he would do alot of the things your cappy does to you. Trust, it will get worse.

I finally had enough of his antics. Hes manipulating you. Your like a game to him. This is the psuh pull to extreme with a very intelligent person. Cunning even.

Like your problem child, he would always give a little bit more progress each and every time. Make you think he just needs more time.

Fuck that. You deserve better. Dont settle.

Posted by DMV
I used to date this saggie with a venus in cap and saturn in the 7th. I am a venus in cap and inhave venus sq saturn. He was very insecure. He he would do alot of the things your cappy does to you. Trust, it will get worse.

I finally had enough of his antics. Hes manipulating you. Your like a game to him. This is the psuh pull to extreme with a very intelligent person. Cunning even.

Like your problem child, he would always give a little bit more progress each and every time. Make you think he just needs more time.

Fuck that. You deserve better. Dont settle.

Its funny you used the word cunning, thats what someone from his area used to describe him. I dunno, maybe I am just believing and seeing what I want to.

I thought I was clued on but feel like a fool. So glad I made this thread, i keep thinking he's the one and can be idealistic.

Did I read you want kids with him?

Its the good parts youre attracted to. when he's good, he's great. All that you would want in a man. But when he's bad, its terrible. I would tell myself, he just needs more time. I saw a future with that guy as well. I saw the potential in him. He just wouldnt, couldnt believe that i liked him. i ran out of ways to show and tell him. it became exhausting and i got sick of whining to my friends about him.

It was like he knew the exact moment i would let my guard down and he'd strike!

Posted by DMV
Its the good parts youre attracted to. when he's good, he's great. All that you would want in a man. But when he's bad, its terrible. I would tell myself, he just needs more time. I saw a future with that guy as well. I saw the potential in him. He just wouldnt, couldnt believe that i liked him. i ran out of ways to show and tell him. it became exhausting and i got sick of whining to my friends about him.

It was like he knew the exact moment i would let my guard down and he'd strike!

Great summary.

Posted by caliber

Posted by aquapiscescusp
Did I read you want kids with him?

Ohhhhhh, why the hell not? eff it, right? lack of respect for everyone! *hands that shit out like cookies*


soooo not only will she set herself up for misery, but also children who did not ask to exist, and certainly not in a broken home... bc that's exactly where that'll head. awesome.

click to expand

😄

lolz @ the Mariah Carey story

What was funny about it?

Yas, I don't even know how I got on the Cap board, but I read your story and can't help but post a reply. Please, please, please, listen to people on this board and stay far away from this man. Four years is too long and he has every red flag! He does not only have every red flag, he has ruby, the crimson and the scarlet ones out too! All I mean is that you are setting yourself up for misery. Girl, why you want that cross?? You KNOW how it will turn out, you had four years of that shit before! Do yourself a favour, let him go. Being by yourself will NEVER feel as bad as you will feel when he fucks you up and be very, very sure, he will fuck you up. Be good to yourself YAS!

I didn't expect this reaction but I needed it. I know my friends have said the same things but I didn't want to listen, I keep looking at astrology for answers and excuses.

I'm going to cancel on him and listen to advice from wiser people. I did fine without him before so I will be fine now, but I just got my hopes up when he reached out you see.

Thanks

Just know that he'll probably try to hook you back onto his string and all of this will start all over again. So you have to be real firm in your conviction to move on.

I think you will be more than fine without him. You're going to meet someone else that's going to truly make you happy and you're going to look back and thank yourself for not wasting anymore time on this guy.

From my observations with these Capricorns... they seem to put 'edge' on a relationship when they have doubts about you.

Posted by CreepyPants
Just know that he'll probably try to hook you back onto his string and all of this will start all over again. So you have to be real firm in your conviction to move on.

I think you will be more than fine without him. You're going to meet someone else that's going to truly make you happy and you're going to look back and thank yourself for not wasting anymore time on this guy.

yup. Every time he tries to real you in, read this thread. Fill the addictiin another way. He calls, do 10 jumping jacks.

This doesn't sound like love to me, more like an obsession. I am not sure you can distinguish the difference

Posted by yas786
Its true, Im not his therapist but I just dont think he has had anyone understand him because people think hes cold and heartless; plus I feel he wants to help me the same too

Yesterday he called me during my lunch and played 'we belong together' by mariah carey, he actually made me listen to this part as he played it down the phone from his car:

didn't mean it when I said I didn't love you so
I should've held on tight, I never should've let you go
I didn't know nothing, I was stupid, I was foolish
I was lying to myself

I could not fathom I would ever be without your love
Never imagined I'd be sitting here beside myself
'Cause I didn't know you, 'cause I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I've never fail

I was really shocked but I do feel that is his way of saying sorry and expressing how he feels. I didnt even know he listened to this type of music. I didnt even think he would call as much but it feels like after everything has happened he finally believes my feelings are real. To me it is a big deal that he played that song because he used to ignore me and express no emotions and is just so stoic, so to play that meant alot.

But taking on board all the comments I will tread carefully, i really do want kids and i will give it my all, i think he is doing that too. If he reverted to his spitefulness I would walk away, and i did in the past.

Smh, lol... *sighs* The Cap male I was 'involved' with did this, except it was Musiq Soulchild's "Teach Me" BEWARE!!!, these guys are the kings of 'mind-f**ks' I swear!