DOES THE SILENT TREATMENT REALLY WORK —..

My question is Does the silent Treatment really work towards a cappy male and why?..why is it the remedy when getting a point across.. and how does it affect him? We had a heated argument..the worst ever..he disrespected me..and then came back with I love you..and juz let it go baby and forget about it...this was the second major argument but worst than the first..with intense name calling..I don't except that. The advice I was told was to juz Chill..no contact...What is the power in being silent? And what does it say to him...How long should I be silent...is there a such thing as to long..cause im so pissed I can go a month..we've never went more than a weekend.. that's my normal pattern..the weekend is over and he's expecting to hear from me today...but he wont. Any intake on this?

I think it depends. With my Cap, some silent treatment can go unnoticed as he will be busy and not really caring that we don't speak (or at least that's how he acts). But sometimes, after a few weeks he'll contact me and ask why he hasn't heard from me. It is when he asks this that I take the time to explain why I disappeared. Sometimes that ends with him giving me silent treatment lol. So if you want to continue your relationship, be careful with how you address the issue and how long you make him wait. You don't want him to think you're done with him if you're not.

My advice would be to speak to him when you feel like it. Don't put a timeline on yourself because of someone else's advice. When you're ready to speak to him, you will get a crazy urge. Listen to yourself. I made the biggest mistakes listening to everyone else when my Cap and I are really connected and every time I listened to MY own advice, I got the best response. So just wait until you're ready to have a conversation that won't start off heated. You'll get nothing out of him if you start a convo attacking him.

No don't ignore...silent treatment will be the worst thing to do get your point across, you have to learn to take the bitter with the sweet or leave him alone, no man is perfect if the name calling bothers you that much then address it. You will just cause much more drama by doing the whole silent treatment method and it will be a Mexican stand off, either decide now to continue on with the relationship or distance yourself and date other men until he can understand you better or break it off completely, that will send the message that your not tolerating his bad behavior.

lol wow im going through silent treatment with a cap right now too. i ignored my ex cap (whos keeps trying to be friends but i dont want it) at a recent outing and he didnt take his eyes off my the entire night. i never once made eye contact and he was totally pissed. it didnt make the situation better at all and i almost felt bad. my only regret is that i cant be more mature but whatevs

IMO silent treatment doesnt work with caps if you have any intention of maintaining a relationship. HOWEVER if he was the one doing the name calling i'd be pissed and not want to talk to him either. i think i'd stay silent if i were you too because you didnt do anything wrong and if he cant man up and admit that he was an ass, id have a hard time forgiving him. id resent that i had to be the one who caved when he's the one who was mean. id also be mad about his response with "i love you let it go" because id feel like he was making me feel stupid and making light of the situation that i thought was a big deal. i say be the bigger person and maybe you need to tell him all of this without getting over emotional. i use the silent treatment but it's a horrible solutions for most things

In a relationship silent treatment doesn't work with us because we don't have to talk...it's almost better that we don't talk. My X used to get pissed because if he gave me the silent treatment I wouldn't even notice and if I did I didn't care. Talking isn't a priority for me and I'm content all by myself. Most Caps are content alone...We are loners so its not a big deal if we are alone and in silence. It's really....BETTER!!

The best thing you can do with us is if you are really hurt then be serious about it and tell him. He needs to know that you are not playing around and that this could potentially ruen everything. Don't play games..WE HATE THAT! We loose respect for anyone who is childish enough to do that...but we gain respect for those who are forthcoming with their feelings and stand on what they desire. WE LIKE RULES WE FOLLOW RULES...set some rules if they are needed.

with abuse you don't be silent, you leave.

has the silent treatment ever accomplished anything? ever? for anyone?

on the other hand, silence, when it is not a punishment, sometimes works wonders.

the implication that it is a punishment though turns "time and space to get over things" into "you suck, i will make you pay."

I forgot which topic I posted about the rules, but I agree with CapyWife. If you set some rules and boundaries that don't attempt to CONTROL the Cap, he will gladly abide. When you try to set rules that dictate when or how he does something, like calling you, you will be sadly disappointed lol. But if you set rules on how you will be spoken to, i.e. not being disrespected, he will listen. My Cap jokingly told me I was full of shit one time and I nearly flipped. But instead of being the typical Gemini that I am, I closed my mouth and thought about it for a while and then addressed him calmly and told him that I thought it was disrespectful. He flipped out and acted like a stubborn goat because he didn't see anything wrong with it. At the end of the day, we cleared up everything, we can laugh about it now, and he has never told me I was full of shit again although he uses the term very often.

Now if we talk about a Cap giving YOU the silent treatment...honey you can hang it up..... hell.... you may never hear a word from us again. LMAO!!! Seriously! I can do the silent treatment for years. My grandfather and I got into it really really bad like two Christmas', ago the worst argument I have ever been in, and I walked out of the house and sadly enough it's been two years since I've have spoken to him. I'm going back home this Christmas to make a mien.

since i'm in the process of trying to alienate several silent treatments i have recently doled out, i'll chime in here. if you ignore us, it will only make it worse for you. we are masters of suppression and may just be clearing our minds and getting our emotions under control while you seethe with emotion, dying for us to make amends. we WILL admit when we are wrong but will have to compromise your feelings for our logic because we are not full of shit and we don't just speak for the sake of talking. we mean what we say, but we are a lot better at actions.

there may have been one time that someone gave me the silent treatment and i engaged a talk about the issue...otherwise it has always come to them saying "are you still mad at me" even if it isn't their fault, or something regarding my "cold and distant" nature HAHA! anyway, we don't take arguments lightly, they do affect us and we do have emotions, but as all of you know, it's not our best suit. we don't "let it go" even though we say to do so, it's just not worth pining over if you really love the person, why bother? why waste time? there's so many better things that can be done. like...work, and sex.

i wish we weren't so good at ignoring people. and the staring thing. it's an action that speaks volumes i guess. don't be scared to talk to us, i know it's maddening, but we are too cautious to take those kind of chances.

I know I used to drive my Pisces crazy with silent treatment. Or he would hold a conversation with me and I would be watching TV and nodding my head using one liners. It would drive him crazy but I just didn't have anything to say, I just didn't feel like talking....at all. Silence is priceless!! If I could just find a man who I can sit quietly with and read with...no need for words. I think the silent treatment was made up by a Capi but we weren't initially trying to be mean about it.

i have nothing to say. capyWife is all knowing and all telling. sheesh 🙂

Makes sense about wanting to just sit and be quiet. One time while my Cap and I were discussing things, he just stopped everything and laid on me and we just sat there in the quiet for about forty-five minutes. Surprisingly, I was very satisfied with the silent conversation lol.

no it doesnt work and i'll tell you why.
cos cap males are also very good at dishing out the silent treatment. so if u provoke him he might just end up beating you at your own game.
and then nothing gets resolved

Posted by rchllmr
My question is Does the silent Treatment really work towards a cappy male and why?

possibly, but that counts as mind games or not communicating. if your reason is to piss us off then i'd say that it's the correct way to do so. on the other hand, how would you feel if a Cap turned the tables on you? we're very good at doing that as well as the silent treatment. stick to the tried and true. for real.

Yes and no. I've gone silent on my long-time male cap friend many times, for months at a time, and he isn't swayed. He notices alright, has even expressed that he misses our times together (which is big for him as he expresses nothing of an emotional nature. EVER.), but then he flakes out when we do make plans so... I don't know what works with them. Personally, I don't care much anymore. All I know is that he isn't going anywhere. After all we've been through, the countless times he's driven me up the wall with his antics, he's still always right around the corner. Even more so now in the past year since I barely give him the time of day. He likes me more now that I'm "over it" with him. I blame his Aqua venus.

The silent treatment is immature and passive aggressive. If you're upset with someone you need to state why and address your boundaries. Maybe they didn't even know they upset you. I def agree that a cooling off period can be helpful- but you need to address that; "hey, I'm taking some time away from this".

Posted by tryandguess
The silent treatment is immature and passive aggressive. If you're upset with someone you need to state why and address your boundaries. Maybe they didn't even know they upset you. I def agree that a cooling off period can be helpful- but you need to address that; "hey, I'm taking some time away from this".

Btw when I say "you " I am referring to the plural "you" not the OP 😉 lol