Need help with a cap girl...

New user here. I've been lurking for a little while tho!

Anyway, I really like this girl. We met online and have been talking for a little bit. We went out a few weeks ago and had a great time. At least, I thought we did. However, there were some red flags. I honestly had no idea if she was into me until she started flirting with me on our second date. Our first date was great, we talked for hours but it was hard to tell if she was romantically interested aside from great conversation.

A few nights ago, I let it slip that I like her and she says "I know" and laughed but quickly added that she likes me too (Progress! Yes!). We went out again this past Saturday and had great convo again. The conversation was more serious though, we talked about things such as kids and family. We kissed that night and the next day we couldn't stop texting one another. But today, it's crickets. That's part of my problem. She's very hot and cold with me. We'll be on one day and off the next. When we're on it's non-stop communication, when we're off she barely responds. It's a little off putting because I'm not that great with communication to begin with but I'm trying to be better with her. However, when she acts cold, I act colder because I don't want to bother her or be 'that' person who doesn't get the hint. But out of the blue, she will contact me and give me sh** for it and we're back on again. Rinse, Wash, Repeat.

I appreciate any advice.

Do you think she really likes me or just said it because I did? Aside from her saying that and the kiss she doesn't really show that she wants to be with me. Also, Why do you think she is so hot and cold? Any tips on how to remediate this? Thanks!

Thanks for the replies! Im not sure about placements. I'm an Aquarius. She was born on the 10th of Jan. We don't live that close to one another so it's hard to meet in person as much as we would like. Maybe acting colder was the wrong choice of words. If I feel she's being terse with me, I back up and give her space. I just don't want to bother or annoy her. In any case, I tried my very best to keep conversation going between us today and it went well. We have another date planned so we'll see how that goes. I don't want to fvck this up...I really like her.

Posted by Kvvle

Do you think she really likes me or just said it because I did? Aside from her saying that and the kiss she doesn't really show that she wants to be with me. Also, Why do you think she is so hot and cold? Any tips on how to remediate this? Thanks!

just said it because I did?

We dont do that. We say when we mean

Aside from her saying that and the kiss she doesn't really show that she wants to be with me

Thats good to begin with 🙂

Also, Why do you think she is so hot and cold?

I never had initiated communication too much with anyone at initial stages . I never liked to impose my self on anyone . Did not liked to look clingy .

Any tips on how to remediate this?

She has to start trusting you and be sure about how much right she has on you and yes time would help .

Posted by Capri-sun

1. We suck at communication

Plus she's a female so she might look for you to take the lead on initiating conversation.

Absolutely

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by marshmallow

Posted by Capri-sun

1. We suck at communication

Plus she's a female so she might look for you to take the lead on initiating conversation.

Absolutely

I remember you saying that...that's why I included the last part 🙂

click to expand

Haha didnt remember but yeah I believe in that 🙂

Be a manly man and you'll be fine.

Worse thing you can do is be insecure or clingy. Those are big turn offs.

I don't think she's going cold. Just keep I'm mind, we are productive people. We have projects, chores, friends, family, work. I mean, can't be on the phone all the time - got to get things done so when we are on the phone, we can enjoy it.

I say we....of course I can't speak for all of us.

Just updating this...

I broke things off with her. Things were going well for a while...but just wasn't working out for me. I really liked this girl but imo it was a dead end. There were a lot of issues that I think are a bit too personal to share. Long story short, I cut things off cold and abruptly. It's been three weeks and she's still calling me and also messaging me on social media. She's also resorted to calling me from different numbers. Is this normal? Does she need closure or something like that? I really just want to move on...

Also, I hope this doesn't make me come off like a jerk but she did and said some pretty f'd up things.

Posted by Kvvle
Just updating this...

I broke things off with her. Things were going well for a while...but just wasn't working out for me. I really liked this girl but imo it was a dead end. There were a lot of issues that I think are a bit too personal to share. Long story short, I cut things off cold and abruptly. It's been three weeks and she's still calling me and also messaging me on social media. She's also resorted to calling me from different numbers. Is this normal? Does she need closure or something like that? I really just want to move on...

Also, I hope this doesn't make me come off like a jerk but she did and said some pretty f'd up things.

It's your right to not be with someone for whatever reason. Don't feel guilty about it.

Posted by Kvvle
Just updating this...

I broke things off with her. Things were going well for a while...but just wasn't working out for me. I really liked this girl but imo it was a dead end. There were a lot of issues that I think are a bit too personal to share. Long story short, I cut things off cold and abruptly. It's been three weeks and she's still calling me and also messaging me on social media. She's also resorted to calling me from different numbers. Is this normal? Does she need closure or something like that? I really just want to move on...

Also, I hope this doesn't make me come off like a jerk but she did and said some pretty f'd up things.

Give it a few weeks and she should come to her senses and get the hint that it's over. If she's still bothering you, then yes...she probably needs closure. Give it to her if you really want to move on.