Out of Sight Out of Mind..

Any other Cappies experience this?

I know personally, I'm becoming a bit fed up with my behavior towards people, but I honestly don't know how to change it. I'm sure my Leo friend hates me, I love my Scorpio friend for accepting me, and Cappie friend knows the deal because he's the same way. I just don't want to hurt my Taurus friend with my behavior. We no longer work together, but still talk nearly everyday, but that's dwindling a bit due to me and I feel it's starting to bother him. He actually showed up to the job the other day, and I believe it was because we didn't talk at all the day before. I was browsing the net on my phone and he was trying to grab it because I guess he felt I was texting or giving my attention to someone else. We don't date, but there is a mutual crush there, and it would be more if he was only a bit older. Anyway, I don't want to lose him as a friend, but my desire is not there to talk to or text him or anyone else daily, and I just fear he may think its easier to cut me out because of that, which if it gets there I can understand.

My Aqua mother is extremely good at keeping in touch with her million and one friends and I asked her how she does it. She said she'll think about a person and call. With me, I think about everyone all the time, so it really isnt out of site out of mind, but I don't call the person or even have the desire to talk to them.

I know this isn't fair to anyone but it's how I am, and I'll go through talkative spurts, but it's not often. I'm just wondering how I can change this behavior? It's something that I'm beginning to not be comfortable with. And I'm not talking about days or weeks not contacting or talking to people but months. I'd be devastated if anything happened to my friends or family, so it's gotta stop. I just don't want to be fake or insincere.

I have Libra ascendant and I am like this too..
It's a bit hard to understand myself..sometimes I want to be close..sometimes I want to be left alone LOL

Ooops..hit the "post" button too fast.
Being like this myself, I can relate to the Caps who sometimes tend to pull away and need their own moments of solitude.

I think its cos we are all practical. if theres no practical purpose or the person is not part of routines that we repeat over and over its a problem.

So theres two ways to tranform this.

1) Bring them into the routine
2) Focus on a practical relationship with them. it might seem selfish but we al need practical help so simply thinking what practical aid you can exchange with a person is just being honest. Its not using people..people who say dont use people...every interaction they do is using someone for something..we all do it..we want entertainment company fun gossip anything we all use each other to get these things. So as a capricorn who wants to value people recognise wat they give and appreciate the practical side of what they give and the practical advantages of maintaining contact whether it be you can offer them something practical or them you..If theres no earth energy coming from them or you see no way to strengthen your earth power then you will subconsciously become demotivated towards them. So strengthen your earth connection with them

There is nothing wrong with you Inana.

Every time i read your guy's posts things start to make sense. There are other reasons, and not necessarily because they are being "mean." Like Michelle says, if the person is not part of certain routines then they dont involve those people.

I'm a sag, but I have a lot of cap in my chart. Sometimes I will go months without talking to friends, but when they or I finally contact each other the sag in me treats it like we just talked the other day. It also helps if after that long period of time you take the initiative to plan to do something with them. Maybe a fun night of going around the town or drinking at a bar to make memories so that they can look back and think "wow she's a lot of fun. I'd like to keep being friends with her."

Idk that's how I keep all my friends and a lot of them I don't even take the initiative to talk.

Posted by michellemabelle
I think its cos we are all practical. if theres no practical purpose or the person is not part of routines that we repeat over and over its a problem.

So theres two ways to tranform this.

1) Bring them into the routine
2) Focus on a practical relationship with them. it might seem selfish but we al need practical help so simply thinking what practical aid you can exchange with a person is just being honest. Its not using people..people who say dont use people...every interaction they do is using someone for something..we all do it..we want entertainment company fun gossip anything we all use each other to get these things. So as a capricorn who wants to value people recognise wat they give and appreciate the practical side of what they give and the practical advantages of maintaining contact whether it be you can offer them something practical or them you..If theres no earth energy coming from them or you see no way to strengthen your earth power then you will subconsciously become demotivated towards them. So strengthen your earth connection with them

Good answer. I feel like this applies to me as well. Most of the time I don't talk to someone unless I feel like it's practical and they are serving some purpose at the time. Sounds kinda cold, but it's just the truth. I only have so much time and I'm a big fan of small talk.

@lnana04 I have an Aqua Mom too...I have the same issue as you...I'm at a loss too...

Posted by kristalaries
I have Libra ascendant and I am like this too..
It's a bit hard to understand myself..sometimes I want to be close..sometimes I want to be left alone LOL

I have a Cap Sun/Aqua Moon so I can identify with this statement 🙂

@Inana - your Leo friend will only hate you if they feel they are not important or you don't care (you have to stroke their egos). And, your Taurus friend should be able to relate. If you feel they're getting miffed about you just wanting to keep to yourself at times talk to them about it and reassure them (I hate feeling the NEED to do that sort of thing). And, remember it goes both ways, they too can pick up the phone!!

Last msg my Aries bff left me she referred to me as her "invisible friend" LOL We'll go weeks without talking and sometimes months without seeing each other. Never 'out of sight, out of mind' though. She knows that if she needed me I'd be there at the drop of a hat! She and I are both wrapped up in our own lives. No big deal, she doesn't take offense to it.

General Cap sentiment I think - I get wrapped up in things and don't always get a chance to keep in touch, it doesn't mean that I don't care or that you're not an important part of my life.

My Aqua mother is extremely good at keeping in touch with her million and one friends and I asked her how she does it. She said she'll think about a person and call. With me, I think about everyone all the time, so it really isnt out of site out of mind, but I don't call the person or even have the desire to talk to them.

I know this isn't fair to anyone but it's how I am, and I'll go through talkative spurts, but it's not often. I'm just wondering how I can change this behavior? It's something that I'm beginning to not be comfortable with. And I'm not talking about days or weeks not contacting or talking to people but months. I'd be devastated if anything happened to my friends or family, so it's gotta stop. I just don't want to be fake or insincere.

I'm the same way. I really don't know why I have a cell sometimes if I hardly use it like that lol. I'm really bad at keeping in touch with people. A lot of people take it personally, esp Cancer friends, but it's just how I am. Only my really close friends understand this about me.

I also agree with previous posters about the need for space. I don't need to be constantly talking to someone or texting someone. I hate when ppl are on the phone all the time.

I think it's one of the reasons I lose friends in all honestly, and I am working on it too. I think it just takes more effort, when you think of someone, reach out to them. I wouldn't beat myself up about it though. *shrug*

I am not good with people
I find myself putting up with people not being part of any group reaily.
I have lots of people I get on with banter at the pub a woman I guess a G/F
we are on and off
But if I drop dead tomorrow I won't be missed in a week
So it is with Capricorns.

We will miss you Tate! (only for about 2 wks though 😉)

then you will be closer to me than many

I would miss Big Foot

That's because saturn is ubiquitous.

^

Posted by M
You know what, I noticed that a lot this year. Nobody really misses Capricorns. Not really.

Posted by M
Could be. But why do you suppose that is, Spica?

That Saturn is ubiquitous?
Yeah, people feel Saturn's presence even if they are absent. Thus they are not missed.

(or maybe Saturn makes them feel like that strict parent, you know? 😛)

Hmmm
I noticed my college Cap friend whom I've not spoken to for 10 years. I don't miss her because she's still alive. I saw her on facebook the other day. She still looks the same. I don't want to spoil the status quo by contacting her. It will be a *shock* to the system! Things are fine as they are. If Capricorn comes back (from a well deserved absence), then they will.

Or maybe Capricorn doesn't have that emotional connection that makes people miss them, being the detached sign and all. I think that's closer.

Not sure why I has hidden my message.

🙂

Posted by AeGiCap
So...basically people don't miss us unless there's a crisis or work of some sort at hand. Our energy is ubiquitous, giving people the impression we're there with them when in reality we're not...and this sensation is enough to satisfy them moreso than our physical presence? Gotcha:/




Now...if I could channel this ability for work purposes, then everything would be great!😄

Boss:Was AeGi at work today?
Co-worker:Yeah!...wait...no...yes, he was/is!, I didn't see him but I could feel him here and...
Boss: 0_0...mmmkay,I'll pay him anyway and this convo never happened.
GhostAeGi:Score!😈 $

YES, YES, YES!

+100

If Caps are very aloof and unaware of others in the emotional sense, how then do other proceeds with connecting with them friendship or relationship wise?

from what i read, it seems that we have to wait for them to initiate or control the circumstances?

any caps how perspectives? or do we have to wait till capricorn matures or want something from us to initiate on the bonding level?

curious as to your opinions.

I am a Leo also and we just don't play like that. For us I would say it's more of an "out of sight, out of mind" thing. We have to prioritize the people in our lives. If you aren't consistently there, then you don't really exist.

If you're a true friend (to a Leo): Days without communicating? OK. No biggie. Weeks? Depending on how many weeks and the reasons for it but that's pushing it. Months? Fuck you! (unless there is damn good reason like dying or something 😛)

It seems to me that if you go for months without talking to your friends, they're not really your friends. Merely acquaintances. Let's get logical here. A real friendship entails closeness. This closeness thrives on communication. How else do you get close to someone save for being within physical proximity to them? Even if your friend lives thousands of miles away, what would keep you close? That email. That text. That phone call. Or how about romance? Would you consider someone to be your significant other if you went months without communicating with them?

What you described is exactly how my cap friend is. We have been talking to each other every couple of months or so for about 2 years now. I stopped placing any importance on him because he has only acted like a fair-weather friend and that is exactly what he has become. I no longer expect anything from him (like communication), I don't go out of my way for him, and I don't count on him for anything. It has been one of the healthiest decisions I've ever made.

The whole thing just sucks for me to watch. He knows many people. Out of all those friends, I'm the only one who wouldn't throw him under the bus in a time of need. I actually accept him how he is. I just don't tolerate it.

Posted by morningsb
I dont think air or fire signs are capable of missing anyone really.

aw yeah, they are all heartless bus-thirds!

But actually, I will mis my lil Capricorn student when I'll probably leave for next year. He wants to keep in touch on facebook. Might as well. I'd like to see if he turns out to be a bad boy or a millionaire 😄

I think with out us there would be nothing.
A dead world the rest could not hold it together.
Look at what it is like now if it werent for our influance it would be like AHHH I see the fuck up fairy has been here again.

THX
right on
I see there flaws and mine
we are less forgiving on ourselfs

Posted by QuietSt0rm

Posted by kristalaries
Ooops..hit the "post" button too fast.
Being like this myself, I can relate to the Caps who sometimes tend to pull away and need their own moments of solitude.

+1

I don't know whether it's my libra rising or my moody cancer moon, I need my space too.

click to expand

*agree*
space is good it brings balance indeed.

more good input on caps. thanks!