Scorp/ Cap - Can it work?

Just wondering if anyone has any insight into this pairing...

me - nov 3 1976
him - dec 24 1982

we've been getting along well when we're together and I can tell that he likes me though from everything I've read he's exhibiting typical capricorn behaviour and saying that work comes first and that he can never be enough for me (even though I haven't asked him for anything other than spending time with him having fun) though his actions betray his words... he's away a lot which doesn't bother me but I'm wondering if it's actually possible to get a capricorn to let down his walls over time... any input would be appreciated...

this has already been asked but noone seems to give a good answer. I posed it on the Scorpio board as well. Scorps play wayyy to many mind games for Caps

I'm not into playing games... in fact from what I've read about this combo it's always hard to start because both are afraid to say what they feel so I let him know first... in a very non-confrontational way that I liked him and that I want to have fun with him when we can and asked that he not push me away (which he's admitted to doing in the past when things started to get too real) and in return offered to be more open with him... I don't demand any more of his time than he has to give and when we are together it's great I'm just wondering if there is ever going to be a chance that I break down that wall (one that I know really well as I've had one in my past too)... he loves to cook for me and hang out and while we've kissed we haven't slept together yet... I don't know - I'm trusting my instincts that we're moving forward slowly but in a good way but then there's that tiny part that wonders maybe I'm reading it all wrong...

btw - I'm beyond games - spent way too much of my youth immersed in them (I was an expert I fully admit) but now I'm just tired of hiding/ of not saying what I feel... I can see the progress I've made after many years of introspection...

M, thanks for your insight - I've appreciated your comments all over this forum...

what do you mean by "dozen pitfalls to look out for"?

and also - does a cap ever put himself first? from what I've been seeing - it's all about me - I know he likes me from his actions but even his warning words are about me - he can't be enough for *me*, he doesn't want *me* to get hurt, getting involved with me is selfish of him, etc. I really want to ask him what he sees of his future if he would just *be* selfish for a moment... but his focus just seems to be the opposite and I'm wondering where this comes from...

seems like this cap/scorp relationship is so similiar no matter which order it comes in . I have this scorp guy that is sayin exactly what the cap male is sayin to you (I dont wanna start this relationship but everything he does is for me ) He says he comes to my house to help me with kids,chores,money, ect...but if he was to give into what i want instead of what i need then he will not be satisfied because he wants to get his financial security first then he can be with me cause he could contribute more and take me shoppin and get my hair and nails done,but,im like hold up all i want is to enjoy your time,have fun, and then complete lifes goals together since we are so special to each other==TOOOO DAMN INDEPENDENT+stubborn to own belief systems....I came here on this site questioning all of these things, but scorps are more intense with what ever trait they have than caps,but MEN in general like to play the men roles in society, or theyll be bitter and depressed about not bein able to place their woman on a pedal stool..These signs have to learn to ACCEPT help,or they may never have promising relationships, we as women have to stop questionin who we love , that we think loves us, but we are so paranoid about what we have experienced from previous relationships which hender us from truly bein able to connect with someone on all levels . We should make a thread about this women . caps and scorps who wanna improve their relationships should have a club (like the sunbeams off the game)then meet twice a week to discuss our similiar situations come up with a plan itll be the scorpricorns or the capriscorp kmsl, but it does sound kool

@capgal... I have expressed (in a confrontational and minorly emotional manner) how I feel about him - that I like him for who he is now and that I don't ask for anything more than he can give me right now - how I like spending time with him when he's around... I'm confident in my feelings towards him even though I can't control what he feels in response (or whether I even know about it anyway)... I told him that I'm tired of hiding/ not saying things because I'm afraid of what might happen and he seems cool with this - anyway, at least we have dialogue going and since I've read so much about having to have patience with a cap we'll see how it goes down... I have a few months until I see him again anyway...

Posted by thxbutnothx
Frankly, imho, the most important skill in any relationship to not damage self too much to return new is to know when and how to let go. If you can walk away just like that when it's time, nothing can harm you.

Completely and totally profound. If we had the wisdom and faith of Ghandi, we would do THIS ^^^

I personally think it depends what mood we are in and if we are going to choose to put a long hell on eachother because we are in a "mood".. I've been with my cap for 6 months now and our moods have got us on he verge of breaking up at least 12 times now and my limits have been pushed at least 7 at most.. But some how when we get to talking an I get into this: I don't go e a tree trunk about anything mood.. He laughs at me and tells me how cute I am.. And the ride starts all over again.. Or he will mention separation and all it takes is some persistent and properly thought out opinions of mine on why we shouldn't.. Then he's stuck again smiling away at me.. Haha the problem is with me.. He is more of a "I'm a free bird and you have to give me time to commit to you more" type guy.. I'm a "I wouldn't be with you if I didn't want to be serious, and you are mine!" type girl.. Which means if your a scorp like me.. Calm down calm down and well... Calm down haha then be extra extra patient.. Live life while looking beautiful in your own ways.. And always pursue something!!! Cause if I stopped I know he would think of me as lazy and wouldn't want to be with me.. The war is all in the feelings.. Well that might be just me?!

Posted by thxbutnothx
scorsagian, maybe it's not uncommon among caps. i do not commit for commitment' sake. i do not go into any relationship bc i was dying to commmit. i start a relationship because i want to give it a chance to grow and see how well it may work for both of us. to me, it'd be unwise to commit until i feel certain that we are meant for each other after some serious ups and downs together. so anyone pushes me to commit with chains may not be happy with how it turns out

Your words are so true. He told me exactly this the last time I had a outburst about us. I have been pushing him away with my insecuritys about his past. I'm just very lucky he is someone who is patient enough to tell me so instead of just up and leaving. Ever since I've been More chilled out with him he Has been stuck to me like glue, and that beautiful smile he gives me deffitely tells me I'm starting to do things right. Its starting to feel great!

Posted by scorpchick76
Just wondering if anyone has any insight into this pairing...

me - nov 3 1976
him - dec 24 1982

we've been getting along well when we're together and I can tell that he likes me though from everything I've read he's exhibiting typical capricorn behaviour and saying that work comes first and that he can never be enough for me (even though I haven't asked him for anything other than spending time with him having fun) though his actions betray his words... he's away a lot which doesn't bother me but I'm wondering if it's actually possible to get a capricorn to let down his walls over time... any input would be appreciated...

It was the same with him and I in the beginning. What I did was just let him talk it out with himself and not push him with my own thoughts. I dot know If it helps you to know that. He is also born in 1976 as well I'm 1987

Man I feel like an idiot posting this. But what does it mean when a man hugs you and then kisses you but never asks for your number. You actually give it to him.

kisses you on the cheek I meant.

Newbie, why dont you start your own thread on this and give your sign and his?

You will get more answers and not derail this threads topic.

I'm cap, he's scorp. That's why I put it here. Kind of going with the same thing about scorpio and capricorn and all that jazz.

You dont seem to understand, newbie....this isnt YOUR thread. Not kind to defocus someone elses thread. And as you can see, you aint getting much interest.

Jeeze..I'm a capricorn and I am starting to find your rule abiding suffocating. Chill out dude.

Thanks for all the input so far...

What;s nice about scorpios is they usually can see past all the red tape and just enjoy us. Same goes for us, we see through the tricks scorpios put up in place. It's nice.

Ya, I've seen this with him... I've realized that sometimes the 'idea' or 'thought' just needs to be planted and then he takes time to process - as in sometimes I'll get a harsh response immediately but if I just ignore it/ let it go then he'll come around to my logic in his own time...

and yes Scorsagian7, I'm having a ton of patience... I guess the last time we were both in town I was a little 'impatient' mostly because he kissed me the night before he left for 6 weeks so that threw everything up in the air for me and as a scorp I spent those 6 weeks wondering 'what does that mean' so when he came back it was all different (my actions at least I think) and he fed off of this in an uneasy way. Fortunately it got back to normal again before he left and it's funny, this time that he's away I'm actually thinking about him less and realizing that I can only be myself and if he chooses me because of that then great and if he doesn't then it just wasn't meant to be. Basically I'm a lot calmer this go around and am waiting on him to come to me... hopefully it all works out - he feels different to anyone I've ever dated before and he makes me better so... *fingers crossed*

Posted by M
"I've realized that sometimes the 'idea' or 'thought' just needs to be planted and then he takes time to process - as in sometimes I'll get a harsh response immediately but if I just ignore it/ let it go then he'll come around to my logic in his own time... "

Lolz, yep.

haha... so what you're saying is that I'm on the right track and my patience (and persistence) is paying off and that I'm reading things correctly (at least so far)? haha... maybe scorpio intuition is a good thing for a cap... 😉

"whereas capricorn is 100% hard and ruthless on the inside, but has a dark side, however the strange thing is that capricorn will never lose control of their own darkness, never show it to others."

I wanted to make a post about this, wondering if ANYBODY ever seen a Capricorn snap before?!

Posted by thxbutnothx
for a non-pushover to have deep and sweet softness.

You mean the cap is the non-pushover or the cap needs a non-pushover with softness?

I get the feeling with him that he keeps trying to do subtle things to make me get made at him - like he's expecting that reaction so that he can say 'see, I knew it' but I'm surprisingly calm in dealing with his ways - I talk through it calmly rather than reacting which I'm pretty sure is new to him... heh.

I'd personally like to see a Cappie snap, although I wouldn't push them to that point lol. Out of all the Caps I've known, I've never seen any of them completely "loose it." I've never even raised my voice at anyone before, and my grandmother and father are the same.

My Virgo sis is easygoing but she's been in a ton of fights and always talks about how she wouldn't remember certain things during the fight, as if she'd black-out. The thought of that seems weird.

So this particular cap... his actions and words are at odds mostly and I'm going by his actions and also my (scorp) gut instincts... he's really afraid of getting involved because he doesn't want to hurt me - is this a cap thing - a protection mechanism maybe? He's really worried about not being good enough to meet my needs, etc. even though we've never really talked about what those actually are - I feel he's got this big fear of not being good enough somehow - is there a way to get around this other than just being around and being me and reassuring him as best I can (in an indirect way?)

I guess I'm just really curious because it's all about my needs/wants and not actually what he wants - my sense is that he wants more but doesn't think he deserves it for some reason (past experience perhaps?)... any thoughts Caps?

but he's always worried about what *I* need and not being able to give me that - he's used those words specifically... hmmm... any caps have input here? it's interesting...

also thxbutnothx - totally not disregarding your comment at all... I value the input - just looking for more of a discussion here as it seems there may be something more to it... 🙂

Posted by scorpchick76
but he's always worried about what *I* need and not being able to give me that - he's used those words specifically... hmmm... any caps have input here? it's interesting...

Ive had similar experience with a cap mooner. Felt he wasnt good enough for me, that he couldn't give me what he thought I wanted. Asked what I saw in him. Low self esteem. They're not all the same, of course, this was just my view. My brother is also a cap, he married young, had kids and wife was an addict and later, a lesbian. He stay single and non committal for about 15 years (had girlfriends tho). He finally remarried after my mother died, which I think made him see how short life is.

ilyb Get you A Hobby and Then A LIFE!

capecan... any specific things you'd suggest for "challenges" at least to give me some idea of the scope of what you're refering to? I can totally see what you're saying and how that relates to him... I'm trying to let him lead but at times he pulls back so I push a little and he seems to come around...

Posted by noirecapricornprincess
this has already been asked but noone seems to give a good answer. I posed it on the Scorpio board as well. Scorps play wayyy to many mind games for Caps

Not all of us play mind games
I've been with a capricorn guy for four years (my aunt and uncle have been for 28 years) and we work well together.
we've learned to pick our battles
but he is older than me so it gives more ground to stand on when he's trying to lead
(same with my aunt and uncle)