SCORPIO WOMAN AND CAPRICORN MAN...HELP!!!

I have scanned the message boards on this site trying to get some insight on thei allegedly "perfect match". I am at my wits end with my cappy. He's on and off. We have been together for about 3 months and I swear this is the third time that he has withdrawn without a rational reason. But then I dont know his reason, because he does not answer his phone or emails or return calls. Maybe I should be glad that we spent a wonderful 4 days thanksgiving, and 4 days xmas and New years-bam gone again without words. CAN SOMEBODY OUT THER TELL ME THAT i AM NOT THE IRRATIONAL ONE OR THAT I AM NOT JUST STONE CRAZY!!! He tells me that he loves me deeply, wants to be with me forever, (and boy do I feel it when we are together)
he calls before going to work each morning and we talk for hours after work. And then BAM gone!! This is the 3 time this has happened since we got together and now its been over a week, first time this long.

Nope your not crazy but his behavior creates crazy making thoughts and crazy making behavior in a woman...unfortunately it won't end unless you address it and end the cycle, hot and cold keeps you focused on him, his resistance creates tension and being a woman we want to fix the problem and it's clear he likes things just the way they are

he's not completely ready or available to be in a relationship with you thus he comes and goes to manage your expectations down from NEEDING him...the best option you have is to shift your focus off of him and give him a little bit less of YOU...

Give him space but you may want to stop taking him seriously if he's in and out

He's testing you, and you as a Scorpio are more than capable of dealing with it.
Do the same to him, and see how long before he comes running after you.
It's a Good Combo 🙂

That's how Capricorn men are. Go to the Cap board and you will see people complaining about the same thing. My ex cap swore he could disappear and act like nothing happened and tried to resume where we left off. It became childish and boring and annoying.

Either you like/love me or you don't. Otherwise fuck off.

wow.

yeah that seems accurate to me.

from what I've seen I agree

I have seriously dated two capricorn men and this is a good combination but of the Cappy I dated we are still good friends and they both say they still love me so thats how good it can be but they do act and sometimes want call for a couple of days and if you just give them a little space they will come back running and pleading for your love affectionate the last one I dated we were around eachother constanly for the first month then we needed a little space and i would let him have his space and I wouldnt call him for a couple of days and he would call me like baby why dont you call me I love you and you ignore me and it really made him focused and pay more attention to me and really show his love.

If it gets off the ground, it's almost like a soulmate connection.
If it doesn't and you run out of patience, well then I don't blame you. With all the dilly dallying involved I guess it depends on the individual.

Thanks guys for letting me know that I am not crazy as heck. I mean its mind blowing and difficult for me to rationalize this behavior. Is it "just childish" or is there "emotional problems" going on here. That's what I've been dealing with. This guy appeared to be just what I was looking for and we made futuristic plans and brought our families together and all of that. He told me or caused me to believe that he was deeply in love with me, I'm in his head, his heart and his soul he said. Heck I've not told him that I loved him at all ya know! I have said I think a lot of you and you are great.

I am so bothered that I brought my children ino this insanity and they think he is great..And then "bam' you are gone for a week or more? That is just crazy, immature or just a way of saying I really did not want to be with you! We'll I can deal with it and you guys helpes me to understand more what I am dealing with. Now my question is "how to deal" and do I really want to deal with this! Sunday was his birthday we were to be together for a week leading up to it, but of course he did the "bam"thing on me. So, I called him and left a Happy Birthday message and way!

virgogotme pretty much nailed it and show some apathy (slight indifference) towards him and let him know you don't take people that are in and out seriously and if he ask why say I dunno what do you think about what I said. This prevents you from having to point out his flaws and could potentially make him think about what he did but the one thing I would discourage you from doing is being fake, pretending your happy when you should be mad, concerned etc...just know whatever the outcome if you decide to keep him around he will always be pulling the BAM on you and how could any woman be happy to hear from a guy that does that or even want him around, the kids will be okay if you do something about it now and don't allow this in and out thing to go on

Dang, I started on this board in late 2005 because I was having issues with a capricorn man. The same issues you are having inthegb, and almost every other woman dealing with a capricorn man -- disappearing acts. I've come to the conclusion that they (cap men, don't know about the women) like to play with your emotions. MissMorals said it good "dilly/dallying". If you look at your relationship from an unemotional standpoint, inthegb, you will get better control of it.

If he can't play with your emotions, he can not control you. So, if you stay, control your emotions. If you go, control your emotions. Don't let him see you sweat.

Scorpios have their "into the soul stare", but so do caps. They stare and watch you intently. You have something he wants. Let him know that it's not easily obtained. Don't answer his calls when he decides to call you. I don't care how long it takes for him to return your calls. Get on with your life. After spending all of your time together, and then he doesn't return your phone calls? Later for that. He can return a phone call, even if he's unable to talk long or spend time with you. Don't put up with the rudeness. But let him know, unemotionally, what you want from him if he wants a relationship with you. Obviously, you are serious, and astro says these guys are as well, but their head games prove differently. You as a scorpio, know how to love a man and give him everything he desires and MORE, but his azz needs to prove himself worthy of it. Put his tail in the doghouse if he doesn't behave himself like KNOWS he should. BE FIRM. But keep your emotions out of it. It is what it is -- you will not put up with his nonsense. He can like it or leave it. You'll be fine and he'll be yearning.

we'll I've moved from concern to pissed off.

I went through the same thing with a cap guy...well fortunately we are not together....no one should play games like that....one minute you love me and then the next minute I dont exist...doest make sense and is not healthy for the relationship....

and you may have to accept that he is not as interested as you are....even though he may show it when you guys are together.....caps are known liars....they will tell you they love you and really dont....the cap i knew use the word love so loosely...

i smell lemon

It's true that Caps need to be retreat once in a while. I don't really think the rest has to do with capricorn men. I mean, I assume he continues to do this because you always let him come back. Have you told him that you won't tolerate it or that it hurts you?
I would say just ignore him and when he comes back (which by pattern we know that he will) you NEED to put your foot down. Be firm, and be willing to walk next time he does it. Remember that you have children and they come first.

My children are not in the issue here..I mentioned them because his and my children have met.. And it is easy to say that he's not into you..when that is not the discussion here..my question is help me with insight in Cap men and their nature of doing things..after having read message boards and blogs it seems that they are on the in and out thing...nevertheless he and I are suppose to be the most compatible mates..I am able to discern pretty good if he is into me or not..and neither am I a desperate women..I asked for insight into their behavior..

All I can say is Capricorn men seem to be very boring as mates to me.

my cap was nothing but drama. He just breaks up every 2wks. I tease him and off he goes...

My children are teenagers and were in a social situation with him maybe twice ..they thought he was just too shy...but they have not gotten attached to him in anyway.

And scorps dont handle rejection well..for this reason I wanted to make sure that I was not crazy about this behavior...rejection I can get over...but his behavior I thought that I was missing something..its seems that cappys are always disappearing and I dont have time to play hide and seek.

"its seems that cappys are always disappearing and I dont have time to play hide and seek"

Good, inthegb. Tell him that if he shows up again, and let the chips fall where they will. If you are not willing to deal with his "retreats", then that's ok. Not everybody will, and they (capricorn men) know that.

When I say "willing to deal with his "retreats", " what I mean is, telling him you expect to get return phone calls or texts even though he has shut himself away somewhere. It's about communicating (without alot of emotionalism). That is what will keep the relationship respectful and considerate and developing. Let him know what it is you need and listen to what he needs. Let him know that while you may understand his "silence" sometimes, it is not beneficial to either of you. You are TOGETHER. It doesn't mean you have to be joined at the hip, but there is another person to consider. He needs to realize that you have a life, so you like your "me" time too. But because you are part of a couple, you act like you are. If the relationship is important to him, then he will do what it takes to keep it. Just keep the communication as rational and unemotional as you can, inthegb. Any sign of you losing control (emotionally), and he's won. He's already nervous about intimacy, and any excuse to "take flight" will do it for him.

So I know that was alot said, but you asked for insight and I was involved with a cap man for several years. Although we are not together, I know why and have no regrets for anything. I've moved on and a wonderful man has come into my life. Yours may be him, or someone else. But my advice to you would be to do what it takes (on your part) to make sure you are doing all you can (with dignity) to stabilize and nourish the relationship. There are boundaries and if they are crossed, they can set the relationship back a bit. But those misunderstandings/disagreements don't necessarily have to terminate the relationship. You want to keep moving forward. So does he.

Cappy men are waste of space

And Pathfinder, I think I remember being on that board when you were around..I just joined the site round about the same time..women were waiting around for like 4 years for him to make up his freakin mind..what the hell..don't they have lives to lead, people to see and love..the world is a beautiful place..jesus christ..anyone waiting around for that amount of time for a man to accept them needs to be lined up and shot!

Cappy men = emotional vampires. They don't have emotions of their own so they suck you dry..going under the wimp ass "friends" banner for years until they make up their stupid little scared minds up about whether someones going to do them over or not..Coming from a cappy woman friend of mine, she said you will die with a capricorn..he would deprive you of everything. It doesn't apply to all..but for the most part this whole dilly dallying, hot/cold whatever is the signs of an idiot who is not mature/ready for a relationship of any kind.

As friends, they are really lovely..

awww I love cap men. When it's good...it's sooooo good!

he would deprive you of everything....that about sums it up LOL

He texted me today and it seems that he has been ill..says that he has been diagnosed with high blood pressure, diabetes and had a heart attack (has had or was having) that is his reason for being away..in the hospital...further he added that he thinks about me everyday and misses me a lot..he has not called but texted..so now what??on his part— hmmmmm

inthegb, keep the conversation going. He has told you what is going on. The ball is now in your court. Be the mature woman you are, put your emotions in perspective, and be there for your man.
🙂

*conversation = communication

if you ask 'unemotionally' they will answer 'truthfully'.. but have a heart, their answers are mostly NOT what you expect.. they are selfish answers and completely uncaring. which does not mean that they dont care... haha

... I think for a cap... LESS is MORE.. and a very Good Communication. thts all. :-)

So true!!

If you kick up a fuss & create a scene, a Cap will give you elusive answers but if you ask straightforward questions, in a serious tone & without drama, more often than not, they will give you truthful answers. So it's true; for Caps, less is more...they are the masters of subtlety.

Some of you may think that as a Virgo of course I would understand the need to disappear because Virgo (men) get accused of doing the same thing. Well...

...it is my question, doesn't everyone need a break sometime? I take breaks and my Capricorn (exes/currents) take breaks too. However, if we want to see each other we know how to call and say hey get your ass over here or I'm on my way over there.

I think that inthegb is struggling with the MIA'ing due to Scorpios need to put a spell on their mates. A Cappy disappearing (or anyone) does not feed the need of having someone under their power/control in love. So... that's my opinion of what's frustrating her. I agree with the person who says Caps like to be the authority/one in control in a relationship. So... if this Cap man senses this then he's going to try and get it back using what weapons appear to work best. Disappearing...

Not to be mean either, but when did Scorpio become the perfect mate for Capricorns? I thought the hierarchy was Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn, then maybe Scorpio, Cancer and Pisces. Earth signs are the best mates for earth signs. Water signs and Earth signs do go together very well so I don't doubt you two are awesome together, but perfect is kind of questionable. But, I should probably research that combo before going too far with my speculation.

My final thoughts inthegb are that Capricorns require a lot of patience. Like Xun3 said 3mos is like 3mins to a Cap. Find out what all is on his plate and maybe that understanding will help you gain more patience. Don't let his breaks from you get you riled up unless you're certain it's justified. People belong to themselves first and it's the life of that person that has to be lived daily no matter what one might want to be to someone else. Gotta take care of self first. That goes for his possible situation and you too.

Best,

MsA

First and foremose, I am neither selfish nor cruel..goodness, its this person who had disapeared on and off on me..and I have remained concerned..and as far as his illness I am happy that he shared it with me..my response as to where does it go now on his part has and had everything to do with him and not me..I want him healed and whole not just for me or for us but for him to be able to live a healthy life and he will..and for the record he was hospitalized for 3 days and hes been out for nearly nearly a week he did not email from the hospital again he chose to email me rather than to call me ok..thruout this entire discussion my concern has been the in and out syndrome with cappys..THEY not me tend to be rude, elusive,cruel and selfish in their interaction with lovers, friends, etc and I wanted perspective on this

By the way,, PITY..who asked for your pity— PITY!!! I asked for feed back on Cappy and Scorpio relationship and if you cant give that get off this board,,,

"call it cool detachment. its kind of their way of seeing if their lover really is about them."

bullseye (in most cases)

Not whining giving dialogue for a feed back..sorry if you misread the difference..actually I dont whine but I will offer up dialogue for discussion. so in your interpretation of my situation you heard whine and what I was offering was "help me with the LOGIC" in this if you can..and I have gotten good dialogue from many..some well I appreciate the input..for the most part it has given me the feedback that I needed to help me understand this CAPY..thanks guys

"Not to be mean either, but when did Scorpio become the perfect mate for Capricorns? I thought the hierarchy was Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn, then maybe Scorpio, Cancer and Pisces. Earth signs are the best mates for earth signs."

I think earth signs go well together when they are ready to settle down. I believe in the adage that opposites attract. I think scorpios and pisces have a little bit more "umph" for earth signs, who tend to dabble in complacency. So if your looking for a rock, yeah earth signs are the way to go, but i've never dated one that didn't bore me. Cancers, no.

this shit is confusing

LOL ^^^

Cap men will always go for women who are financially secure, have solid foundations, are emotionally strong and intelligent. Anything else won't come close. Oh and they are traditionalists at heart as much as they want to appear liberal minded. I have also seen them go for women a lot older as she offers this kind of security.

Fidelity..questionable..not all are..but then again that applies to most signs..gemini taking the award hands down on the infidelity.

If you can wait around for years on end until he establishes himself (cos theres no way he will settle down until this is achieved), then he is for you. They definitely need "oomph" in their relationship, which takes me back to my original statement that they suck you dry, use you for your emotions if you are of the dramatic kind. They need someone to lift them from their doom and gloom..

Astrology would match them perfectly with Taurus. And Virgo is the best match for them..but NOT in reality..I have seen many capricorn with scorpio, leo, sagitarius and sometimes even gemini. Not seen any successful virgo/cappy couples..

MissMorals: I agree with most of what you said although I don't think we "use" people for their emotions, or perhaps that is a harsh word. I think we are a very emotional sign but do not wear those emotions on thy sleeve, rather we react to emotions. If you are a very emotional person who lives and is ruled by said emotions, of course you're going to feel "sucked dry" by someone who puts them on the back burner (on the outside at least). We definitely require someone to lift us from our loom and gloom which is where other earth signs tend to struggle. I dated a very submissive virgo who would do any and everything for me which was nice on paper, but in reality the relationship was horrendously stale because I was not inspired by any type of dramatics or displays of emotions. We were both too hung up on logic and sensibility. Being on the same page doesn't necissarily make for a great book.

see that's what's confusing. they like women who are emotionally "strong" but on the other hand they crave those displays of emotion....huh?

Warholian: "Being on the same page doesn't necissarily make for a great book."

Hey I like that..that's a cool lil phrase..

Caps do tend to feed off the emotional/dramatic folk..and yes it is draining when you get nothing back but expressionless speeches. They are passionates but too afraid to let this out. A bit too routine..water and earth make a great combination but only if they are mature enough to handle a relationship..they are romantic but jesus christ it takes a while to get there..Patience is required..something sadly not a lot of scorpios have in abundance. I agree with earth/earth...very stale and too logical..great if you are into that kind of thing but that would be the death of me..it's like water/water..astrologers are sooo wrong when they match these up..understanding might be there to some extent but HELL NO for a relationship...at least not for the scorpio woman. Water needs fire or earth...NO AIR..

IDK....gems do it for me! Never been romantic with a libra or aqua

I agree water w/water is way too sappy

I have no patience but for some reason I have endless patience with my cap.

I don't know about emotions but I definitely know how to loosen him up

I bet you do...and they love it..lol..

You are right, when it works..its bloody wonderful..
One of my friends (scorpio)..dating a cap for 6 years..she went on holiday to Thailand for 3 weeks..he couldn't bear to be away from her and missed her so much that he got the first plane out there and proposed to her in Koh Samui...how romantic is that...soppy sod! They got married in June 08..bless..

oh wow...that's a beautiful story!

"One of my friends (scorpio)..dating a cap for 6 years..she went on holiday to Thailand for 3 weeks..he couldn't bear to be away from her and missed her so much that he got the first plane out there and proposed to her in Koh Samui...how romantic is that...soppy sod! They got married in June 08..bless.."

Sigh.. He really loves her... 🙂 If I ever get into a relationship again, it has to be an affection like that too. Anything less is just a waste of time for me.

Oh, and I didn't mean literally "an affection like that".. To fly for me to Koh Samui and propose.. lol.. 🙂

I know it's really sweet..he's actually really sweet..but when she gently prods him about it, he just tells her to shut up..hahah...bless..James & Lucy..she is very beautiful in a homely kinda way..and he's erm..your Mark Darcy if you will..lol..

And why should you accept affection any less than that ^

"see that's what's confusing. they like women who are emotionally "strong" but on the other hand they crave those displays of emotion....huh?"

scorps like the same thing. cool on the outside, boiling hot on the inside. i think the emotionally strong part comes from the lack of reassurance- that "patience" everyone keeps bringing up.

"how romantic is that"

very 🙂

I have only liked 2 caps in all my life..one was that lawyer guy who I am still friends with..we are better as friends as we fight too much...and the other he's an artist by night, pharmacist by day..sooo lovely but again, he doesn't even want to consider a relationship till he's 35 at least he said..gets plenty of offers, a bit arrogant at times..but he is funny...

Like I said, great as friends..

So rocking your Cap has a girlfriend?