TAURUS Falling for a WORKAHOLIC Capricorn!

Taurus woman here (28yr.), that met a Capricorn male online (26yr). Being that he's a workaholic (works 2 jobs & Weekends), I met up with him (once at his JOB!!)the 2nd time we watched movies at his place (on his "sick" day off). His place was pristine and NEAT (which I love! "A place for everything & everything in its place.") We watched movies. We kissed ALOT (VERY steamy!!)..but nothing happened (even though he tried to see if I would let him go further) kind of like he was "testing" me.
I love his ambition and determination to succeed but dammnnn its been a month since I last seen him. I miss him. I was the last to initiate a call because it has been a while. When he answered he said: "Aww, you've been thinking about ME??..Do you miss me??"..I replied:"I can't miss someone, that doesn't miss me.", and he says:"You don't KNOW that! I kinda miss you..your voice, your laugh, that smile,& those dimples."..Since he was at work, he said he had to go,and that he'd call me back. I said.."When the next full moon appears." and that was the end of the convo. Whats a woman to do??

When I'm around him,there is such a magnetic attraction force between us that pulls us together that I CAN'T shake. (probably his Mars in Scorpio)..its SOoOo SEXY and Irresistable..Yet he says that I'M dangerous to be around!?..lol Its still VERY early, so I'm going to give him SPACE & TIME. Its has now been 2 WEEKS since that last call. I won't lie I can't help but to feel neglected, because I THRIVE from constant attention & affection. So I'm just going to fill the time with other work, other dates,and things..but he STAYS on my mind...Do you guys think it could ever work?

::HIS Chart::
Rising: [13 deg]-Aries
Sun: [07 deg]-Capricorn
Moon: [05 deg]-Leo
Mercury: [19 deg]-Sagittarius
Venus: [02 dg]-Capricorn
Mars: [09 dg]-Scorpio
Jupiter: [17 dg]-Aquarius
Saturn: [04 dg]-Sagittarius
Uranus: [19 dg]-Sagittarius
Neptune: [03 dg]-Capricorn
Pluto: [06 dg]-Scorpio
N.Node: [07 dg]-Taurus

::MY Chart::
Rising: [03 dg]-Gemini
Sun: [16 dg]-Taurus
Moon: [09 dg]-Scorpio
Mercury: [07 dg]-Gemini
Venus: [03 dg]-Aries
Mars: [00 dg]-Libra
Jupiter: [4 dg]-Scorpio
Saturn: [16 dg]-Libra
Uranus: [3 dg]-Sagittarius
Neptune: [26 dg]-Sagittarius
Pluto: [24 dg]-Libra
N.Node: [14 dg]-Cancer

It could work....get your normal patience out then quadruple it! Work is a priority to Caps and if you require a lot of attention, it will be difficult on him. He may deem you high maintenance and move on.

If you like a lot of attention, then you have to wonder if it's worth it. I've read a lot on Caps/Taurus, and one thing Taurus women would always say about the relationship is that they were "emotionally starved" and that Cap didn't/don't provide enough attention, which sucks since the two signs are supposedly so compatible. Im sure the communication and the time spent will increase with time, but just observe and see if it's a real stretch for him to give you what you'd need like, cause if it is then that probably will be an issue in the future.

Thanks @M, @Canceritabonita, & Inana04. It just feels like by the time he comes around I'll probably be over him. I guess its my (Venus in Aries)..I move on when bored or unattended. Crazy thing is that I've had 2 Capricorn exes in the past. 1st Cap was 3yr relationship, 2nd it lasted for 1yr. They both were ALOT more attentive/clingy,(BOTH of their VENUS in Scorpio) which I didn't mind b/c I loved the attention, but they weren't as driven as THIS current one is..BIG difference in drive. Which is a turn on for me. He's a man on a MISSION! and that I can't have my way just yet...at least until the icy exterior chips and finally melts revealing that mushy putty, that I adore...*patiently waiting*

Update:..So Before 2 weeks turned to 3 wks (today)from not hearing from my Cap, I called him Yesterday.(it went to Vmail) so I texted him: "Hey, I just called to say hello. I hope all is well."

...2 min after

CAP texted: "Hey Wassup!!! I'm at work with some of my clients, I can't answer the phone but...Wow! I guess you finally miss me! (Moon in Leo..looking for an EGO stroke..smh)

ME: "No problem, I was just saying hello...and I only miss those that miss me." (I wasn't about to stroke his ego..Because, He never can outrightly SAY that he misses me!! GRRR!!)

CAP: "So you didn't miss me??..okay." (Ego Shut DOWN.)

Me: "I just told you, I can't miss people that don't miss me..."

CAP: "Well its not that I don't miss you..(*See, why can't he just say it?*)..its just that I don't want to disappoint you.. I'm a busy guy...and you have mad time to spare, than I do. Time that I can't even fufill, so I just don't bug you. I mean think about it..I work mostly EVERYday (7 days). And to tell you the truth I mostly stay home after work and relax...and if I were to invite you to come thru, you'd think that I'm just not trying to take you out, when that isn't the case, so I just stay to myself."

ME: (Feeling annoyed).."You don't know what I have or don't have time for, If something or someone is important, I make time for it. Simple. Thank you for letting me know."

CAP: "Wow...see how you took that? That's exactly how I thought you'd react...smh"

ME: "I'm not reacting in anyway. You told me you don't have time, and its understood."

CAP: Smh

ME: "Call me when you're free..ok?"

--END.

...he didn't respond to text NOR did he call. Now what?


I wont lie. It felt GREAT to have some correspondence with CAP after 2 1/2 weeks of not hearing anything from him. (Even though it was through text.) From what I gathered, it seems like he actually put some thought into us possibly getting together but his doubts have him thinking that things won't work due to his heavy work schedule. My thing is, that's great you thought things through, BUT What about the POSITIVES?? What if it can work? Granted I am NOT a fan of staying indoors. Period. Then for me to have to go to his place after he's finished his workshift?? C'mon!! I want to go out on DATES! Until SEVERAL happen, I'm not setting foot into his place. Once he gets over his doubts and laziness, we may have a possiblity...he seriously is going to have to put forth some effort.

Thoughts?

This was my Taurus friend and I but in reverse, with him looking for ego strokes. I posted in the other thread how as soon as I got my phone back he asks "You missed me didn't you?" LoL. That's so irritating isn't it?


I think he shouldn't have assumed what you have or don't have time for, but I understand his point. He simply doesn't want to lead you on knowing that a relationship requires more than chilling with someone after work, and it seems as if he's too tired after work to give the attention you'd need, so he's letting it fade away cause he know that won't be right to you. Obviously he misses you, but he's not going to put effort in knowing the outcome. You just said that you want to go out on dates etc. He just doesn't have time for it.

He will answer your calls and texts, but initiating things, in some of our minds, is leading the person on and it seems like he's not going to do much of that so you won't get the wrong idea or expect more from him.

I'd imagine working 7days a week is pretty draining, and I'd imagine his dating life will suffer a lot because of it. He knows that, and it just is what it is to him, I think.

Something happened with my previous post LOL, I was saying:

I DONT GET IT!!!!! WHO CARES WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHEN!!!

If you miss him, just say that! Leave it up to him to be responsible for his reaction to your word, at least this way you know that on your end everything is spotless. And maybe next time he will feel more comfortable openning up to you about what he feels.

At this point this created nothing but tension and uncertainty between you too. Hi is probably wondering what you feel towards him and doesnt want to feel rejected (Caps are scared of that, we all do LOL)

Besides you don't have to say it directed towards him, you can just say something like: Miss your voice or miss your lips....

* just be sincere, he like like that*

Posted by saggie123
Something happened with my previous post LOL, I was saying:

I DONT GET IT!!!!! WHO CARES WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHEN!!!

If you miss him, just say that! Leave it up to him to be responsible for his reaction to your word, at least this way you know that on your end everything is spotless. And maybe next time he will feel more comfortable openning up to you about what he feels.

At this point this created nothing but tension and uncertainty between you too. Hi is probably wondering what you feel towards him and doesnt want to feel rejected (Caps are scared of that, we all do LOL)

Besides you don't have to say it directed towards him, you can just say something like: Miss your voice or miss your lips....

* just be sincere, he like like that*

This is the mature way to handle it, especially if the feelings are true, but ya know how that goes. I'm sooo guilty of making sure someone says something first, but it bites you in the behind when it's over and the other person left with doing all they wanted to do and what felt natural...no regrets, while you sit and think about all the missed opportunities and where you went wrong etc. Saying what you feel at all times is something I admire in others.

Posted by TAURUSbelle


I wont lie. It felt GREAT to have some correspondence with CAP after 2 1/2 weeks of not hearing anything from him. (Even though it was through text.) From what I gathered, it seems like he actually put some thought into us possibly getting together but his doubts have him thinking that things won't work due to his heavy work schedule. My thing is, that's great you thought things through, BUT What about the POSITIVES?? What if it can work? Granted I am NOT a fan of staying indoors. Period. Then for me to have to go to his place after he's finished his workshift?? C'mon!! I want to go out on DATES! Until SEVERAL happen, I'm not setting foot into his place. Once he gets over his doubts and laziness, we may have a possiblity...he seriously is going to have to put forth some effort.

Thoughts?

I don't think laziness is this guys problem lol! Here's the thing...you say that you thrive on constant attention and affection. You won't get that from this Cap. Nor will you get the effort you are seeking. At least not at this point because he hasn't decided if you're worth the effort for him yet. The text exchange showed him that you are going to be work and he doesn't need another job. The fact that you wouldn't tell him you missed him unless he said it first told him two things. One, you need him to lead you emotionally and two, there are conditions on whether you will be open with him. Neither of these work particularly well with a Cap in my experience.

Personally I just don't think this is a good fit for you. He's not going to be emotional enough, give you the time and effort you are asking for or make you a priority. Maybe one day he would but not anytime soon. That's why they say it takes MAJOR patience to date a Cap. You either have that kind of patience or you don't. But you can't try to pretend you do because they will see through that immediately.

Posted by fishtale


I don't think laziness is this guys problem lol! Here's the thing...you say that you thrive on constant attention and affection. You won't get that from this Cap. Nor will you get the effort you are seeking. At least not at this point because he hasn't decided if you're worth the effort for him yet. The text exchange showed him that you are going to be work and he doesn't need another job. The fact that you wouldn't tell him you missed him unless he said it first told him two things. One, you need him to lead you emotionally and two, there are conditions on whether you will be open with him. Neither of these work particularly well with a Cap in my experience.

+1!

I would also add that Capricorns do not like to do anything less than spectacularly. If he doesn't think he can give a relationship with you his best effort, which his work schedule clearly precludes at the present time, his natural inclination would be to simply not attempt it.

I have to agree with Fishtale +1

That text exchange was awfully painful to see his reaction, it was a struggle, this guy is in a place in his life were if he's going to date a woman, she's pretty much emotionally self sufficient, can cut through BS, say what she wants, how she feels, he doesn't have time to go through circles getting a simple "I missed you" out of a woman.

But something my mom always told me growing up, men that want you make time, he finds a way to make sure the woman of his affection is a priority in some way, maybe not his first priority but she know she's important to him.

Besides who knows how many women he's casually dating and juggling in between work besides you. He has to eat, bathe, relax and have sex, somebodies getting it.

Or he could be hiding behind his work to AVOID intimacy with women, some men do DO that, they find an extensive hobby or immerse themselves into intense jobs that require his full attention and they flake out BUT they have a VALID BELIEVABLE EXCUSE why he can avoid you and not put in much effort and get away with it. Being a breadwinner is very attractive, so a lot of women will give him a pass.

Don't call him anymore, keep busy, if he's interested he'll reach out to you again, the ball is in his court.

"because I THRIVE from constant attention & affection. So I'm just going to fill the time with other work, other dates,and things..but he STAYS on my mind...Do you guys think it could ever work?"

Probably won't work long term, you'll feel deeply disappointed by the lack of affection and attention, maybe in the beginning it would be okay but when he pulls away to focus on himself, to focus intensely on his life and fails to reach out to you to assure you he's still in it with you you'll most likely end up feeling neglected and unloved.

If you thrive off of constant attention and affection, well Mr.Workaholic is not the one for you.

Posted by lnana04
This was my Taurus friend and I but in reverse, with him looking for ego strokes. I posted in the other thread how as soon as I got my phone back he asks "You missed me didn't you?" LoL. That's so irritating isn't it?

VERYYY irritating, its been ages since I heard from him and he thinks I'm just gonna eat out of his hand?? HELLL NO!!

Posted by lnana04
I think he shouldn't have assumed what you have or don't have time for, but I understand his point. He simply doesn't want to lead you on knowing that a relationship requires more than chilling with someone after work, and it seems as if he's too tired after work to give the attention you'd need, so he's letting it fade away cause he know that won't be right to you. Obviously he misses you, but he's not going to put effort in knowing the outcome. You just said that you want to go out on dates etc. He just doesn't have time for it.

...I COMPLETELY understand the difficulty and tough conflict that it could raise. I just wish he didn't wait till I hit him up, to tell me all of this. It definitely irritated me that couldn't just be straightforward and tell me that sooner.

Posted by lnana04
He will answer your calls and texts, but initiating things, in some of our minds, is leading the person on and it seems like he's not going to do much of that so you won't get the wrong idea or expect more from him.

I'm not going to initiate further, if he wants something he knows how to reach me, AND where to find me.

I'd imagine working 7days a week is pretty draining, and I'd imagine his dating life will suffer a lot because of it. He knows that, and it just is what it is to him, I think.

Posted by lnana04

Posted by saggie123
Something happened with my previous post LOL, I was saying:

I DONT GET IT!!!!! WHO CARES WHO SAYS WHAT AND WHEN!!!

If you miss him, just say that! Leave it up to him to be responsible for his reaction to your word, at least this way you know that on your end everything is spotless. And maybe next time he will feel more comfortable openning up to you about what he feels.

At this point this created nothing but tension and uncertainty between you too. Hi is probably wondering what you feel towards him and doesnt want to feel rejected (Caps are scared of that, we all do LOL)

Besides you don't have to say it directed towards him, you can just say something like: Miss your voice or miss your lips....

* just be sincere, he like like that*

This is the mature way to handle it, especially if the feelings are true, but ya know how that goes. I'm sooo guilty of making sure someone says something first, but it bites you in the behind when it's over and the other person left with doing all they wanted to do and what felt natural...no regrets, while you sit and think about all the missed opportunities and where you went wrong etc. Saying what you feel at all times is something I admire in others.

click to expand

@Saggie123: Shooot.. I CARE who says what AND when! Daddy always told me to always be the one who says "ME TOO" not the other way around. (ie: initiator.) I've gone against that many times before, and ended up getting my heart STOMPED on because I showed all my cards..Will I do that NOW?? No can DO hunny boo-boo!!.lol. But I get what you're saying. Although indirectly expressing my sentiments...does sound sweet, he would like that.

@Inana04: I keep my cards close..so SOMEONE has to crack 1st..and it won't be me..consciously anyway..lol

Posted by StoicGoat

Posted by fishtale


I don't think laziness is this guys problem lol! Here's the thing...you say that you thrive on constant attention and affection. You won't get that from this Cap. Nor will you get the effort you are seeking. At least not at this point because he hasn't decided if you're worth the effort for him yet. The text exchange showed him that you are going to be work and he doesn't need another job. The fact that you wouldn't tell him you missed him unless he said it first told him two things. One, you need him to lead you emotionally and two, there are conditions on whether you will be open with him. Neither of these work particularly well with a Cap in my experience.

+1!

I would also add that Capricorns do not like to do anything less than spectacularly. If he doesn't think he can give a relationship with you his best effort, which his work schedule clearly precludes at the present time, his natural inclination would be to simply not attempt it.

click to expand

@FISHTALE: ..Yes, it would take a little work to get me to open up, I'm not going to just hand over my emotions. Apparently he won't either..hence him seeking ego strokes, while it may have worked with others girls, but not with me.
He's not exempt either. He most certainly has conditions before opening up as well. But he seems to have already weighed his options and figured, it was a "lose" situation I sure hope he wasn't expecting me to convince him otherwise?? or for me to say: "OH YEA, I completely understand life is SOOO TOUGH for you, what time should I be over with Pizza, movie and beer??" ...NO dice.

@STOICGOAT: You're absolutely right about that. I believe that if he were to really put forth effort, it would be TOP NOTCH because we both love the finer things. You should SEE the way this CAP dresses...and the very scent of his YSL cologne has been engrained in my memory..*fans self* ..HOT. But yes...it seems as if work is more important in the present time, and I can respect that. No harm done, no love lost.

Posted by tiki33
I have to agree with Fishtale +1

That text exchange was awfully painful to see his reaction, it was a struggle, this guy is in a place in his life were if he's going to date a woman, she's pretty much emotionally self sufficient, can cut through BS, say what she wants, how she feels, he doesn't have time to go through circles getting a simple "I missed you" out of a woman.

But something my mom always told me growing up, men that want you make time, he finds a way to make sure the woman of his affection is a priority in some way, maybe not his first priority but she know she's important to him.

Besides who knows how many women he's casually dating and juggling in between work besides you. He has to eat, bathe, relax and have sex, somebodies getting it.

Or he could be hiding behind his work to AVOID intimacy with women, some men do DO that, they find an extensive hobby or immerse themselves into intense jobs that require his full attention and they flake out BUT they have a VALID BELIEVABLE EXCUSE why he can avoid you and not put in much effort and get away with it. Being a breadwinner is very attractive, so a lot of women will give him a pass.Don't call him anymore, keep busy, if he's interested he'll reach out to you again, the ball is in his court.

Couldn't have thought or said it better myself. I definitely have left the ball in his court. I'm not bending over backwards here.

Posted by tiki33
"because I THRIVE from constant attention & affection. So I'm just going to fill the time with other work, other dates,and things..but he STAYS on my mind...Do you guys think it could ever work?"

Probably won't work long term, you'll feel deeply disappointed by the lack of affection and attention, maybe in the beginning it would be okay but when he pulls away to focus on himself, to focus intensely on his life and fails to reach out to you to assure you he's still in it with you you'll most likely end up feeling neglected and unloved.

If you thrive off of constant attention and affection, well Mr.Workaholic is not the one for you.

click to expand

While yes I do like attention and affection..its not so badly where I want to be smushed and smothered..Oh Lord NO!! Let me just make that clear! I don't mind if he works, but come up

..for air and tell me you're still breathing!! ..lol. Plus I like that fact that he's a workaholic. it screams "FUTURE $ ECURITY & Comfort" ..its much better than having someone up and under me 24/7 with NOTHING to show for and to contribute.

We'll see how things pan out as time goes on. But the ball is DEFINITELY in his court. Thanks guys..YOU ROCK!!

As a Capricorn who works around 100 hours/week who has recently found himself rather smitten with a Taurus of nearly your exact age whose behaviour I find thoroughly surprising and perplexing, I have a distantly vested interest in helping you.

I don't know what your father??s area of expertise was/is in, but I think the odds are in my favour wagering that it is not in the best way to establish a relationship with a Capricorn male. Whether for this Cap or just the rest of your life in general, you must give up this attitude: —Daddy always told me to always be the one who says "ME TOO" not the other way around.?? That's not to say you should always be the initiator, but if you require him, whoever he happens to be at any given time, to initiate everything, he will always ultimately give up. You have no right to expect him to put his heart at more risk than you do yours, and he won't??_at least not for long.

I have no doubt you??ve had your heart stomped on many times before, and sadly, probably will many times hence, but I am quite positive the reason why it has been so stomped had very little to do with showing all of your cards and very much to do with the person to whom they were revealed. —Will I do that NOW?? No can DO hunny boo-boo!!?? A) Hilarious — love the sense of humour! B) It's good to see that you have learned from your perceived mistake(s), but I caution you to ensure that you are taking away the correct lesson. Remember that the only man worthy of your tears will never give you cause to shed any.

His fishing for compliments is the manifestation of the Leo moon. I encourage you to not hold this against him, if for no other reason than that it is an innate character trait — flaw, some would say — that's not going to go away. One thing I will say in defense of Leos is that they never ask for more than they are willing to give. Although you may be having a difficult time getting things started, I doubt (and hope, for my own sake, as well) that you would ultimately find yourself emotionally starved with him, as Inana so eloquently put it. Her advice is good, though, and I encourage you to take all of it to heart. In fact, all of the advice you have received here is truly superb. Well done, crew!

@STOICGOAT: AwWwW..thank you for reaching out! I really appreciate it. Hmm smitten by a Taurean huh?? We da The BEST!! I am slightly curious as to what some of her perplexities are..

But yes..to address what my dad advised me. While he has no "professionally paid" expertise, he's been married to my mom for 31yrs and she was the "TOUGH Cookie" in his life that he had to WORK for..lol (Mind you they are BOTH Virgos..YIKES!)..I WILL admit that,his "guideline" has definitely put a damper in just letting life and love in my flow freely, as I would like. However,sometimes just having the added intent to protect oneself..allows me to hold onto more of my "personal power". Sort of like that quote: "The one who cares less, has the power in a relationship."..with that said, I feel that as long as I haven't shown all my cards, I have the power and it wont be easy to figure me out..Once until I am sure of intent and it has been proven by their corresponding actions..only then, will I let my guard down. So I guess maybe my CAP is protecting himself the sameway.. We'll see as time goes on, what transpires as it IS still early.

As for my CAP's Moon in Leo...sighh.. For the life of me, I just could never "gel" with Leo men(in general..although I'm bestfriends with a few Leo women)..The Leo men,that I have dated briefly (emphasis on BRIEFLY). They've always had that: "LOOK at MEEE!! LOOK AT MEEE!!", "IN yo FACE!!, "KING of the EFFIN jungle" cocky attitude..their need to constantly "put on" & show off, I've always found to be annoying, THEN to need to be fed COMPLIMENTS to stroke them to purr— UGH!! NO.-- SO I PRAY..OOOOH I PRAY that MY CAP's (Leo Moon) doesn't rear his head too much. But one thing I will give credit to that chart element, for is that his taste & fashion sense is "Regally DELISH". So I'll lay the compliments on THICK for his wonderful and impeccably smart fashion choices. 🙂

And Lastly, I also doubt that I will be "emotionally starved" because from the very few moments that I spent with my CAP, Face-to-face, he seemed to be in complete awe with long/short gazes of admiration at me. He'd be transparently forward, VERY passionate & affectionate..He'd mumble things in between kisses like "I love your lips, I want to just keep them so NOone else can enjoy them.". ..OMG..I LOVED that!!...So yea.. Only time will tell where and how things will end up. Here's to positive possibilities for Cap/Taurus!! 😉..Cheers

Two stubborn signs here. You will have to take turns giving in.

Sadly, it does tend to come down to control. Maybe it's being a cardinal sign that makes me more aware of the balance of control in a relationship. Makes for very interesting dynamics for me and my Cappy.

Posted by ElusiveSoul

Posted by thxbutnothx
"The one who cares less, has the power in a relationship."

that's for insecure and selfish people to say. for those who do not think the ones they love would love them. those who has a need to go for someone they are not into so they can have the control


i have always been the one who said the L word whenever i feel it and feel like it lol i wouldn't care whether the person is saying back at the time because i was simply being true and wanted the person to feel the love. and i'm still here smiling lol

Thank you...but then again I'm only a "fish" who doesn't care who says it first! No love lost...I give without expecting it back (tho admittedly it would be nice if reciprocated), but still....
Once a individual is able to own up to their own feelings and have them expressed ( weather verbally or through actions ) it can be very liberating indeed. No regrets, no remorse....live and let live,...love and let love find you....
Sometimes people can get to hung up on frivolities in life of dating/relationships that they forget to see the bigger picture...tug of war and who has more power over whom... IMHO it has nothing to do with losing face, self-respect but rather gaining control of the other persons emotions by means of "control" in your favour. That's perfectly understandable for we are all scared and afraid of "what if-s" and by no means am I advocating for anyone to be a doormat, however, we all need love, and what goes around comes around... my humble opinion !!

click to expand

See this, in my opinion, is real 'control'. I agree with both of you. The best control you can have isn't over someone else. It's over yourself. If you give and speak without expectation because it's truly what you want to do then there can be no regrets. Life isn't a game of who can care the least and win the power struggle for me. I choose to win by having enough power over me to be true to myself 🙂

But then again I'm only a 'fish' too ES 😉

Posted by truecap
Two stubborn signs here. You will have to take turns giving in.

@TRUECAP: THIS right here,is DEF the key AND remedy. We are two headstrong individuals..feels almost like a "Tug of War of Dominance and Control"..somehow I already feel that I will most likely be the more flexible/compromising one that ultimately just wants PEACE (my Mars in Libra). My CAP is definitely a dominating leader type "I'M THE MAN & you're the woman"..and I, of course..Stubborn, calculating.."you can't/wont push or rush me..if you DO..we're not going ANYWHERE. But if you ask NICELY...I'll consider.".Then add in:m My ever Calculating Moon in Scorpio & "Rough housing" Venus in Aries where I can start something, JUST for kicks. So there definitely will have to be some give and take here because even though my CAP in his mind "IS the man"..he is sensitive,(I said something in jest once that he REALLY took to heart, I apologized..but BOY I thought I could hold a grudge..wheew!! He's got me beat.)...So, I'll be good.

@THXBUTNOTHX: Note: I said "ALMOST like the quote"..While I'm not insecure..I'm most certainly AM looking out for MY best interest. I will have to disagree with you thought about one selecting someone they are not really into..HELL to the NAW!! I am TOTALLY into MY CAP. Probably more than I'm even willing to admit..to him, anyway..

Good Morning CANCERBONITA and Fishies!! (@ES and Fishtale)

Oh yes.. "Cause Its ALL about CONTROL!!...and I've got LOTS of it!" ~Janet Jackson (a fellow TAUREAN!!!)

This all sounds so much like the situation with my Taurus friend. I now see why I dont see many of this pair because the thinking is so similar in a way. Both kind of hold out until the other shows their cards. The pace builds a nice little tension, but at the end of the day you find that you havent opened up to them and they havent opened up to you because you simply dont trust eachother and it goes back to the similarity in thoughts on expression and control.

If the two of you will always be hesitant in expressing how you feel then it will slowly go absolutely no where. Yall will have the physical part down but the emotional part will suffer, keeping both with one foot in and one foot out the door.

Posted by tiki33
Or he could be hiding behind his work to AVOID intimacy with women, some men do DO that, they find an extensive hobby or immerse themselves into intense jobs that require his full attention and they flake out BUT they have a VALID BELIEVABLE EXCUSE why he can avoid you and not put in much effort and get away with it. Being a breadwinner is very attractive, so a lot of women will give him a pass.

Don't call him anymore, keep busy, if he's interested he'll reach out to you again, the ball is in his court.

yep how my dad treats my mom lol

from my personal experience Capricorn male is the only man with whom you are always sure of your grounds.he would never leave any room for you to doubt his love.
"like it? --ok, claim it, win it, keep it"---Capricorn motto
A Capricorn in love is the most bankable and most rewarding investment a girl can make.
but then i have limited experience,so

Posted by ShahBano
A Capricorn in love is the most bankable and most rewarding investment a girl can make.

True True....most of the time, we are too rushed, annoyed or impatient to reap the rewards.

Posted by ElusiveSoul

Posted by CanceritaBonita

Posted by ShahBano
A Capricorn in love is the most bankable and most rewarding investment a girl can make.

True True....most of the time, we are too rushed, annoyed or impatient to reap the rewards.

Just food for a thought here as well...arn't we as women a reward to a man too ?!
Shouldn't be mutual ?!

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Absolutely! Which is why I'm alway advocating taking care of yourself first...whilst you are busy becoming a better you, Cappy takes notice and decides he wants you more. Its a mutual reward and benefit system, lol

Posted by TAURUSbelle


I am TOTALLY into MY CAP. Probably more than I'm even willing to admit..to him, anyway..

This is an excellent example of something I find perplexing in your behaviour. If you??re totally into him, why do you hold back? What are you gaining by this? Control, yes, you??ve made it quite clear this is big issue for you??_having it and not letting anyone else have any over you. But know this: someone who truly cares about you will never try to control you; such a person would value your freedom as his own.

Posted by thxbutnothx
"The one who cares less, has the power in a relationship."

that's for insecure and selfish people to say. for those who do not think the ones they love would love them. those who has a need to go for someone they are not into so they can have the control

+++!
There is much truth in that quote, but little health.

Somewhere, even if it's only unconsciously, we all know that until we admit to the other just how totally we??re into him/her, we still have the option to cut and run with no significant emotional damage. Your behaviour appears to me a manifestation of fear. Fear is a perfectly reasonable response to the risk giving your heart away represents, but fear is always an antagonist and never a catalyst. Here's your catalyst:

Posted by fishtale

See this, in my opinion, is real 'control'. I agree with both of you. The best control you can have isn't over someone else. It's over yourself. If you give and speak without expectation because it's truly what you want to do then there can be no regrets. Life isn't a game of who can care the least and win the power struggle for me. I choose to win by having enough power over me to be true to myself 🙂

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Posted by ElusiveSoul
Maybe I'm reading it all wrong, but when someone says "bankable investment", to me it sounds as if "you' put all your investments ( eg. money, time, emotins etc etc) in one person and just wait there for a miracle to happen and see if "you" strike lucky.....

i wish i can explain it properly, i know the word bankable and investment do not do justice with the topic,but i too was sort of fishing for phrases
i wanted to say that yes--with a capricorn man you have to put in your complete trust in him.
you have to be open,fair and honest without any hints of mind games;maybe i am wrong but

Posted by lnana04
This all sounds so much like the situation with my Taurus friend. I now see why I dont see many of this pair because the thinking is so similar in a way. Both kind of hold out until the other shows their cards. The pace builds a nice little tension, but at the end of the day you find that you havent opened up to them and they havent opened up to you because you simply dont trust each other and it goes back to the similarity in thoughts on expression and control.

The tension is definitely felt, but with me, trust isn't just given its got to be EARNED. So until it actually is, I'm guarding my heartgates!!

"If the two of you will always be hesitant in expressing how you feel then it will slowly go absolutely no where. Yall will have the physical part down but the emotional part will suffer, keeping both with one foot in and one foot out the door."

I can see how this can occur, but I don't think we're ALWAYS going to be hesitant..eventually a "crack" will present itself, and the light will pierce through.

Posted by ShahBano
from my personal experience "Capricorn male is the only man with whom you are always sure of your grounds. He would never leave any room for you to doubt his love."like it? --ok, claim it, win it, keep it"---Capricorn motto

Agreed. But he's going to have to actually WIN ME 1st. From then on, there's NOTHING that I wouldn't do for him.

A Capricorn in love is the most bankable and most rewarding investment a girl can make.
but then i have limited experience,so..

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YES and AMEN. This would be my 3rd experience with a CAP. The two previous ones, were more emotionally transparent and EASIER to read therefore allowing me to lower my guards quicker. But THIS one— UGH!! He's definitely a tough nut to crack..lmao!!..a work in progress.

Posted by StoicGoat

Posted by TAURUSbelle
I am TOTALLY into MY CAP. Probably more than I'm even willing to admit..to him, anyway..

"This is an excellent example of something I find perplexing in your behaviour.If you??re totally into him, why do you hold back? What are you gaining by this? Control, yes, you??ve made it quite clear this is big issue for you??_having it and not letting anyone else have any over you. But know this: someone who truly cares about you will never try to control you; such a person would value your freedom as his own.

YES, I hold back to control MY emotions,and observe HIS. If I like what I see, I'll stay and reciprocate IN FULL, If I don't..hasta luego!! We all know how it goes when someone already thinks they have things in the bag with their potential mate, THEN to see that very person simply package and present their heart in a nice pretty bow?? Who REALLY appreciates someone that was way TOO easily obtained??

Posted by thxbutnothx
"The one who cares less, has the power in a relationship." that's for insecure and selfish people to say. for those who do not think the ones they love would love them. those who has a need to go for someone they are not into so they can have the control

YESS, I'll BE that selfish person. No problem. Let me be selfish for once, I'd rather jump in knowing that there is a net to CATCH me, rather than jumping blindly into the abyss..No more blind jumps for me. LOOKING/WATCHING & Listening before I leap. If that's selfish. I'll BE that.

+++!
There is much truth in that quote, but little health.

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The Truth will set you free!

Somewhere, even if it's only unconsciously, we all know that until we admit to the other just how totally we??re into him/her, we still have the option to cut and run with no significant emotional damage. Your behaviour appears to me a manifestation of fear. Fear is a perfectly reasonable response to the risk giving your heart away represents, but fear is always an antagonist and never a catalyst.

Yes fear, of acting stupid is what I mainly fear. The safe side doesn't seem TOO bad at all.

Posted by ElusiveSoul
Let it gooo SG...whom ever she may be.... 😄

LOL!!..SG is Cool. He's got nothing to let go..He's just droppin CAP knowledge..He's also seeing a BEAUTIFUL Taurus so this is almost like a meeting of the minds exchanging info with "THE OTHER SIDE"..lol

Posted by thxbutnothx
the need to control showing feeling is due to the fear of getting hurt or losing face --> insecure and/or selfish

....yea some would consider what I'm doing is SELFISH..SELF Preservation is KEY, for my sanity.

after THE heartache of my life, i realized my emotional strength - nothing would kill me even if i thought i'd die lol. so i since became fearless lol

and last time i said the L word first, the response was "you don't have to say that" and to that my response was "babe, don't you ever worry because NO ONE TELLS ME WHAT TO DO (including you of course)" LOL. Two birds in one stone --> express the love and set the ground rules from day 1 LOL

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"You don't have to SAY that—?" ...I sure WON'T say that...ANYMORE.
So how did things end up with you and this guy??

Posted by TAURUSbelle

YES, I hold back to control MY emotions,and observe HIS. If I like what I see, I'll stay and reciprocate IN FULL, If I don't..hasta luego!! We all know how it goes when someone already thinks they have things in the bag with their potential mate, THEN to see that very person simply package and present their heart in a nice pretty bow?? Who REALLY appreciates someone that was way TOO easily obtained??

In this I do not claim to speak for anyone else, but if I have to fight to claim someone's love/trust/loyalty/etc, that's my cue it's more than likely not worth the effort. I have no expectation these will be freely given, but when they are, that's the surest sign of one who is worth fighting for.

Posted by TAURUSbelle

Yes fear, of acting stupid is what I mainly fear. The safe side doesn't seem TOO bad at all.

It sounds as though you fear repeating your past mistakes. I despise mistakes. But they??re only mistakes if you don't learn from them; if you learn from them, they are lessons, and these are to be welcomed. If they have, in fact, proved to be lessons, you have nothing to fear. As the dear water-dweller ES so delicately put it: Let it (your fear) goooo 🙂


Whatever freedom you have or prison you find yourself in, it is always of your own making. Here is one who recognized her prison, and in so doing freed herself:

Posted by thxbutnothx
after THE heartache of my life, i realized my emotional strength - nothing would kill me even if i thought i'd die lol. so i since became fearless lol

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With the freedom thxbutnothx has, no abyss can exist for her; she carries her own springboard and her own net.

Posted by TAURUSbelle

this is almost like a meeting of the minds exchanging info with "THE OTHER SIDE"..lol

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Haha! *leaves note written in code under corner of a very average looking rock in the middle of an unremarkable public park for TBelle to pickup later*

Posted by thxbutnothx
the need to control showing feeling is due to the fear of getting hurt or losing face --> insecure and/or selfish



after THE heartache of my life, i realized my emotional strength - nothing would kill me even if i thought i'd die lol. so i since became fearless lol

and last time i said the L word first, the response was "you don't have to say that" and to that my response was "babe, don't you ever worry because NO ONE TELLS ME WHAT TO DO (including you of course)" LOL. Two birds in one stone --> express the love and set the ground rules from day 1 LOL

l loved that!!!

Posted by StoicGoat

Posted by TAURUSbelle

YES, I hold back to control MY emotions,and observe HIS. If I like what I see, I'll stay and reciprocate IN FULL, If I don't..hasta luego!! We all know how it goes when someone already thinks they have things in the bag with their potential mate, THEN to see that very person simply package and present their heart in a nice pretty bow?? Who REALLY appreciates someone that was way TOO easily obtained??

In this I do not claim to speak for anyone else, but if I have to fight to claim someone's love/trust/loyalty/etc, that's my cue it's more than likely not worth the effort. I have no expectation these will be freely given, but when they are, that's the surest sign of one who is worth fighting for.

Then you're DEF one of the few. I have yet to come across one that can come to that realization EARLY.Its usually TOO late when they do. I wouldn't say that one would have to fight fire breathing dragons but, NOTHING worth having ever comes easy,there has to be SOME effort invested in order to truly value what you've gained/obtained. Love/trust/loyalty is earned.

Posted by TAURUSbelle

Yes fear, of acting stupid is what I mainly fear. The safe side doesn't seem TOO bad at all.

It sounds as though you fear repeating your past mistakes. I despise mistakes. But they??re only mistakes if you don't learn from them; if you learn from them, they are lessons, and these are to be welcomed. If they have, in fact, proved to be lessons, you have nothing to fear.As the dear water-dweller ES so delicately put it: Let it (your fear) goooo 🙂 Whatever freedom you have or prison you find yourself in, it is always of your own making.

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Yes, I despise mistakes as well..and from my mistakes I've learned NOT to be so openly giving,to guard my heart, and to be sure of there is safe footing before placing my own foot. (or heart rather?)..lol

Continued...

Posted by thxbutnothx
after THE heartache of my life, i realized my emotional strength - nothing would kill me even if i thought i'd die lol. so i since became fearless

I myself realized my strength after climbing out of the VERY LAST abyss. I'm finally free, and I'll be damned to freely jump into another.

I applaud your successful escape from the abyss and hope it will prove to be your last. But don't delude yourself; you??re not free yet. Your words and tone reveal that in your escape, you have carried with you a ball and chain of significant weight. You are now using this as a shield, and as you??re experiencing, it can be quite effective in this regard. When you??re ready, one day, you will reach for it, and will simply find it gone. And instead of the distress you expect, you will find that you have your freedom.

Posted by StoicGoat
I applaud your successful escape from the abyss and hope it will prove to be your last. But don't delude yourself; you??re not free yet. Your words and tone reveal that in your escape, you have carried with you a ball and chain of significant weight. You are now using this as a shield, and as you??re experiencing, it can be quite effective in this regard. When you??re ready, one day, you will reach for it, and will simply find it gone. And instead of the distress you expect, you will find that you have your freedom.

Couldn't agree more...well said 🙂

Posted by StoicGoat
When you??re ready, one day, you will reach for it, and will simply find it gone. And instead of the distress you expect, you will find that you have your freedom.

..I surely hope so my friend.

Posted by StoicGoat
When you??re ready, one day, you will reach for it, and will simply find it gone. And instead of the distress you expect, you will find that you have your freedom.

..I surely hope so my friend.