The Cappy Girl Curse

Are we Cap girls really cursed when it comes to love and relationships. Sometimes I feel that I will never find a man that understands me or love me through my different moods. Even more so now that I've been hurt to the core stemming from an 11 year relationship that went really bad.

I might be destined to be alone or at least maybe until I learn how to open up and trust again.

I would love to hear some stories of overcoming this issue. Happily married caps please give me some hope lol

My relationship was long but not the strongest. I can be a stayer also. I stayed even though it got pretty bad, hoping things would be better. I hid my unhappiness for a long time. Nobody knew how bad it was until it was over. Just saying

Posted by miimii
My relationship was long but not the strongest. I can be a stayer also. I stayed even though it got pretty bad, hoping things would be better. I hid my unhappiness for a long time. Nobody knew how bad it was until it was over. Just saying

Cap women are bad about this too. Sometimes strength and stability could be a curse I suppose.

Posted by truecap

Posted by miimii
My relationship was long but not the strongest. I can be a stayer also. I stayed even though it got pretty bad, hoping things would be better. I hid my unhappiness for a long time. Nobody knew how bad it was until it was over. Just saying

Cap women are bad about this too. Sometimes strength and stability could be a curse I suppose.

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Yea and trying to find that in our partners as well is frustrating

I think so.

My curse seems to be weird too. It seems i pass up good guys thatll show me in many ways they would give me the world...they just dont tell me, and in my mind, if someone is "the one" all things align. Timing issues, trust issues, insecurities....things just never feels how i feel it should when you are with someone that you want to be with forever, so ....on one end i think im looking for something i may never find.

Acceptance seems hard too. A guy could easily fall in love with the good. The bad can permanently damage any relationship.

no I think you do find men that understand you but instead you push them away.(bit personal)I know this one cap from the back of my hands by justifying her moods which is quite obvious to me but she pushes me away once I bring them to the table. that's why we argue at times when I justify how she feels and why she acts the way she acts.

Ladies hunt down a Virgo male. Do your homework and you might be surprised that there is someone who gets you and will take all you give as gifts. But please do a little reading up on this combo and then tell us all what yo think.

I could easily see myself with a Virgo, although I rarely meet any...my age atleast.

It just seems the Cap female get their feelings hurt with Virgos.

There is always something I consider it weird in all girls not only caps all girl who are pretty. Always have this look at boys she looks for the same kind of that bully man with unkind heart and bad treats I don't know why but, I can see its true and the evidence is that many people now get divorced. This really makes me feel bad because the other kind of guys are the truly guys who really will love you and care about you and care about your feelings that is what you have to look for. Look for the personality not the outer shape. I wish my answer helped you thanks 😄

and also you can make it easier for yourself by searching for virgo men I am a virgo man I always fall in love with capricorn girls until know I dont know why .And I really mean always.

Posted by truecap

Posted by miimii
My relationship was long but not the strongest. I can be a stayer also. I stayed even though it got pretty bad, hoping things would be better. I hid my unhappiness for a long time. Nobody knew how bad it was until it was over. Just saying

Cap women are bad about this too. Sometimes strength and stability could be a curse I suppose.

click to expand

I think it's misguided loyalty that plagues us, especially in our younger years. We take a long time to warm up to people and we can really get our hearts set on someone or something. And then, we're fixers too. We value loyalty and sometimes people don't deserve our loyalty but we give it to them anyway. Loyal to a fault or even stupidity.

Personally I count myself lucky in love but my high standards and reluctance to trust and let my guard down make it difficult for people to love me. Most men give up rather quickly, and even if they stick around it irritates and puzzles them, making it difficult for them to relate to me.

they can relate to you your just not letting them you sound like the cap im having these sort of problems with. shes so slow to letting her guards down to me because she chooses to stick around with a guy she constantly catches in a lie and cheats on her as she says. she doesn't know where she stands so I had no choice but to step back but here I am getting those stares from her even in the club when shes with her friends and im out with people

I don't know if other Cappies are like me, but I feel like I never truly let my guard completely down. With anyone.
It's nothing personal and it comes from a very deep fear of rejection and/ or being hurt.

This is a personal struggle that I've really been dealing with lately.

I met a guy on a date last year who I dated while in college. He told me that when we were in college, he had loved me, and really wanted to be with me, but he let our relationship fizzle out because he never felt that I let him in.

And I have been trying with my scorp, to let him in more, because he mentions it a lot. He hates when I keep things inside. He lives with me, and I love him a lot, but it's just how I deal with people and feelings, and have all my life, so it's my default mode.

I am telling you. All the male virgos I know (myself included) we get our heads turned around. Its the ying yang of the relationship. I don't buy into the idea of a less romantic or passionate relationship but what I do buy into is that is will form the more lasting one. If you need a super hot white dwarf star intensity relationship, which for some is the only thing they want, a virgo male cap female pairing will seem tame on the outside. But on the inside this relationship will warm the two in a binary system of harmonious attraction.

It is a healing relationship, even if it doesn't work out the two are left better then when they were apart.

I know cause I was in one and it ended and if she never takes me back I know that she changed me for the better.

and how do they deal with that cap girl

I think Im like that too capgirl.

I figure everybody keep parts of themselves hidden. I dont know why its made a big deal of that we do it, and honestly, i think we are the most candid open when asked.

Posted by capgirl69

Posted by truecap

Posted by miimii
My relationship was long but not the strongest. I can be a stayer also. I stayed even though it got pretty bad, hoping things would be better. I hid my unhappiness for a long time. Nobody knew how bad it was until it was over. Just saying

Cap women are bad about this too. Sometimes strength and stability could be a curse I suppose.

I think it's misguided loyalty that plagues us, especially in our younger years. We take a long time to warm up to people and we can really get our hearts set on someone or something. And then, we're fixers too. We value loyalty and sometimes people don't deserve our loyalty but we give it to them anyway. Loyal to a fault or even stupidity.

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I agree. I'm afraid of being stupid again. I don't think anyone deserves my loyalty. Ironically all I run into is guys who are still in love or connected in some way to their kids mother. I don't trust anybody

My 2 cap besties have been in long term relationships forever. They seem to run the show though. Very controlling. I love them dearly but I worry about their significant others LOL, they do look gloomy.

Actually, three Cappies I went to school with are married, and they seem to be happily married, although im only judging by facebook.

Cappy i grew up with is married to a Scorpio. Her ex husband was a scorpio...she says thats all she seems to attract.

Another Cappy i graduated with is married to a Virgo. They seem happy.

This cappy, Im not sure what sign her husband is, but they should be happy from careers and money alone lol. Her husband is an accountant and shes a pediatrician. Theyve been together since highschool.

The dec 23rd cappy whose videos i post is married to a Sag. They sem happy although a few was calling her the "ice queen" lol. They really imo have the nearly perfect type of relationship.

So i forget about these cappys, but i do know of happily married caps.

Posted by capgirl69
I don't know if other Cappies are like me, but I feel like I never truly let my guard completely down. With anyone.
It's nothing personal and it comes from a very deep fear of rejection and/ or being hurt.

This is a personal struggle that I've really been dealing with lately.

I met a guy on a date last year who I dated while in college. He told me that when we were in college, he had loved me, and really wanted to be with me, but he let our relationship fizzle out because he never felt that I let him in.

And I have been trying with my scorp, to let him in more, because he mentions it a lot. He hates when I keep things inside. He lives with me, and I love him a lot, but it's just how I deal with people and feelings, and have all my life, so it's my default mode.

Posted by StillWater
Long story short: yes, we are cursed to die alone...forever...and ever.

Lol I know ur being sarcastic (cap dark sense of humor). Maybe we'll all be fine one day. Look at me being all optimistic.

Posted by miimii
Sometimes I feel that I will never find a man that understands me or love me through my different moods

How the heck do you expect a man to understand a woman ( Cap or otherwise) when even women don't understand each other's different moods? Sometimes even said woman going through different moods doesn't understand herself. Yet she expects some man to just come along and magically understand her?

There are times when, especially in a relationship, one party has to learn to adapt & understand the other party rather than frustrating herself and going "why can't HE understand me??!!" when often the woman herself doesn't understand herself.

Capricorn women are prone to this. Because they, like their male counterparts, are "stubborn as a goat". So they won't change their outlook. So they sit around and expect the other party to "understand me or love me through my different moods". Why don't YOU get your different moods under control and change? If you value your relationship, maybe the change should start with you first? Which man wants to waste his time on someone who is hot one minute & cold the next?

The most stable & happiest relationships I've seen are the ones where the couple keep their "different moods" in check and DON'T expect the other half to "love me & understand me through my different moods". You want love? Then YOU keep your different moods in check.

I have an issue with staying. My mother (Leo) tells me that it's stemmed from a desire to "fix" people. That I adopt all the stray puppies, so to speak. The problem is, I pursue them! One of my longest relationships was a scorpio, and I hunted him for years, even after he broke my heart. He would string me along for a while, leave me hanging, take me back to repeat. I found him intimidating that he could hold my attention and focus this way.

Then, once I had nearly erased all my romantic feelings for him, he invited me over to spend the night after his previous gf dumped him after she cheated. Now I have a natural taste for revenge. He wasn't even allowed to touch me while I stayed. But he seemed so miserable after I enforced this rule. I ended up with him for three solid years, before I started to realize my mistake. We have nothing in common. Everything I like, he despises. Seafood, horses, leaving at a specific time, I like hot water he likes cold water, I like good hygiene and he doesn't care. Now I feel terrible for him because he loves deeply but it's just not healthy. It's heart wrenching, seeing how miserable he is. But my mother was right.

I wouldn't say that. I've encouraged people to be independent. As he is, very independent. When people get too close or clingy I feel uncomfortable. I really wanted him for a time, he's... changed? In a way. He used to be much more motivated, involved. He used to write poetry and draw, talk about being an engineer. Over the past couple years he lost his desire to strive for anything. I don't know what happened, if he got too comfortable with me? I don't make him miserable on my own. He is happy to be around me, and while I can't reciprocate the same feelings for him, I feel distraught that he is miserable without anyone to love him. But he was miserable to begin with, it's like an endless loop. Maybe he did become to dependent on me.

Maybe you're right though. I'm afraid it was just commitment issues, I felt horrible telling him how I felt because I knew it hurt him. But I feel like if I keep up the relationship it'll only be because I want him to feel better, and it'll just make matters worse. He is a really good guy, a best friend since high school. At this point I'm finding myself hoping he finds someone who actually loves him with the same adoration he provides. He can be very immature and irresponsible at times, and I don't think I have the same creativity to keep up with his antics. Constant affection. I can be so cold.

Self deceptive. At least I'd never admit to being a good person haha.

Posted by BeoWulf

Posted by miimii
Sometimes I feel that I will never find a man that understands me or love me through my different moods

How the heck do you expect a man to understand a woman ( Cap or otherwise) when even women don't understand each other's different moods? Sometimes even said woman going through different moods doesn't understand herself. Yet she expects some man to just come along and magically understand her?

There are times when, especially in a relationship, one party has to learn to adapt & understand the other party rather than frustrating herself and going "why can't HE understand me??!!" when often the woman herself doesn't understand herself.

Capricorn women are prone to this. Because they, like their male counterparts, are "stubborn as a goat". So they won't change their outlook. So they sit around and expect the other party to "understand me or love me through my different moods". Why don't YOU get your different moods under control and change? If you value your relationship, maybe the change should start with you first? Which man wants to waste his time on someone who is hot one minute & cold the next?

The most stable & happiest relationships I've seen are the ones where the couple keep their "different moods" in check and DON'T expect the other half to "love me & understand me through my different moods". You want love? Then YOU keep your different moods in check.

click to expand

Nobody is the same way all the time not even you. You wouldn't want to be left or cheated on the moment you're not in a perky or upbeat mood. To love a person means to love every part of them not just the easiest parts. If I can understand when a person needs space or needs affection, there has to be someone out there who understands those needs in me.

Finding him is the hard part...

The most stable & happiest relationships I've seen are the ones where the couple keep their "different moods" in check and DON'T expect the other half to "love me & understand me through my different moods". You want love? Then YOU keep your different moods in check.

So the happiest relationships are the ones where someone has to suppress their real feelings so they wont offend their partner? That means unconditional doesn't apply to these relationships.

The happiest relationships are with people who can be themselves and be love unconditionally.

Posted by miimii

So the happiest relationships are the ones where someone has to suppress their real feelings so they wont offend their partner? That means unconditional doesn't apply to these relationships.

The happiest relationships are with people who can be themselves and be love unconditionally

If your "real" feelings are one of constant anger & frustration at what you PERCEIVE the other party is doing wrong, why shouldn't you suppress them? Is self-control such a difficult thing for Cap women? And why can't YOU change your "real" feelings to one of pure, unconditional love instead of expecting the other party to "love & understand me through my different moods". Then YOU wouldn't have to "suppress your real feelings", am I right?

And from my observation, people who want "unconditional" love are seldom unconditional themselves. "Why can't I find a guy who will love & understand me through my different moods?". See? That is already a condition. Not an un-condition. You set conditions & yet expect the other party to be unconditional. The 'ol Capricorn double standard?

So the happiest relationships are the ones where someone has to suppress their real feelings so they wont offend their partner? That means unconditional doesn't apply to these relationships.

The happiest relationships are with people who can be themselves and be love unconditionally.

Posted by BeoWulf

Posted by miimii

So the happiest relationships are the ones where someone has to suppress their real feelings so they wont offend their partner? That means unconditional doesn't apply to these relationships.

The happiest relationships are with people who can be themselves and be love unconditionally

If your "real" feelings are one of constant anger & frustration at what you PERCEIVE the other party is doing wrong, why shouldn't you suppress them? Is self-control such a difficult thing for Cap women? And why can't YOU change your "real" feelings to one of pure, unconditional love instead of expecting the other party to "love & understand me through my different moods". Then YOU wouldn't have to "suppress your real feelings", am I right?

And from my observation, people who want "unconditional" love are seldom unconditional themselves. "Why can't I find a guy who will love & understand me through my different moods?". See? That is already a condition. Not an un-condition. You set conditions & yet expect the other party to be unconditional. The 'ol Capricorn double standard?

Who said anything about constant anger? Maybe your post is from personal experience with a cap. I feel bad for you but my moods are not related to anger. Sometimes I need some space that's all. I think I suppressed and compromised enough to keep relationships together. I'm not the cap you know. No double standard here. I always gave more than I received.

So the happiest relationships are the ones where someone has to suppress their real feelings so they wont offend their partner? That means unconditional doesn't apply to these relationships.

The happiest relationships are with people who can be themselves and be love unconditionally.

Posted by JenLove
I don't think we have any curse at all. I certainly do think we are complicated creatures though of course. We are extra guarded and we worry too much about things before they even happen since we always need a certain amount of control. We can be very critical, pessimistic and cold but, that just means we need someone who's going to come along and really take the time to break down the walls we've built. Someone who is strong, patient and trustworthy, who can show us the brighter side of things when we can't. That balance is essential for us, the problem is that it's hard to find.

Of course we have our flaws and some things that we may need to fix as does everyone else and we can be difficult but, we are who we are and we will encounter people in life who will love us for just that.

Love it!!!

Posted by miimii

The most stable & happiest relationships I've seen are the ones where the couple keep their "different moods" in check and DON'T expect the other half to "love me & understand me through my different moods". You want love? Then YOU keep your different moods in check.

So the happiest relationships are the ones where someone has to suppress their real feelings so they wont offend their partner? That means unconditional doesn't apply to these relationships.

The happiest relationships are with people who can be themselves and be love unconditionally.

Sounds good to me.

^^ Quote fail.

Posted by noname
i'm not sure

and i agree that the burden of understanding ourselves is on our shoulder. it is unrealistic and unfair to expect others to understand you when you cannot understand yourself and where your different moods come from. imho, understanding self and then strive to understand the one you love are the roads to true love.

Ah, someone gets it. Well done! You put it in clearer terms than I did 🙂

Posted by BeoWulf

Posted by noname
i'm not sure

and i agree that the burden of understanding ourselves is on our shoulder. it is unrealistic and unfair to expect others to understand you when you cannot understand yourself and where your different moods come from. imho, understanding self and then strive to understand the one you love are the roads to true love.

Ah, someone gets it. Well done! You put it in clearer terms than I did 🙂

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I understand what both of you are saying. I dont claim to have a complete understanding of who I am. I am a work in progress as is everyone else here. We wouldn't be on these boards if we had all the answers. Understanding ourselves may take a while. I don't expect someone to come in and get me automatically. People grow and change all the time. Just looking for someone who loves me enough to grow with me.

Posted by noname

Given that you have been praising the sign of capricorn for years, I'd like to share what was said came from capricorn sun, mercury and venus. All conjunct and in harmony. Well aspected caps are not stubborn and would self reflect before looking at external sources. Self centered yes but no to stubbornness or lacking ability to self reflect.

Sorry if I gave everyone the impression that I was a Capricorn worshiper or something but I'm not. I merely recognize their good points & bad. I get a chuckle out of all those other forums where people constantly trash on Caps because they weren't lucky enough to get into their inner circle. I was one of the lucky ones & have seen how mysterious & yet beautiful these folks can be. But I have to be fair & occasionally point out the various faults of Caps too. I'm no Cappy cheerleader. And no, don't ask me to list their faults. Too much effort 😛

You have a choice, upstream Pisces, when they love you is forever and unconditional.

I am happily married with a Capricorn Woman. And if all goes well I will have a Cap Girl also 🙂

I missed count she rejecting me at first, because she suffrend from past and you CAP women believe in actions, and I had few actions.

In few words, I was in the downstream and then I met her and I have gone through the upstream.

We teach eachother, she cools a bit more and I assert a bit more.

Ask questions if you want.

Im a Gemini guy 'seeing' a Capricorn woman. Its been hard work, but great fun. I just think you guys need to stop trusting the wrong men. You treat those that actually love you like dirt and go for slick smooth talking playboys that use and abuse you.