Luxhc
@Luxhc
9 Years
Comments: 1 · Posts: 170 · Topics: 15
This was my final goodbye
I wrote that to him.
He still hasn't blocked my messages or my iMessage would turn Green, I believe. So it's like he's there and he's not responding and he's being doing this for so long... I've given him months, maybe years of space? So it's just frustrating. I'm not trying to be super emotional about it, and I'm not torn up about it, and I don't expect some type of romantic relationship to be the resolve of this (even if we have feelings for each-other), in total honestly: I just want my friend back in my life. I miss him, and the more time that passes and the older we get the more I miss him.
Stonewalling and Silent treatment behavior is ABUSE. Why subject yourself to this kind of behavior.
Posted by SuperMercurialI sort of exaggerated this and was being slightly sarcastic, this is just the manner in which we talk to each-other. It's been over a year though, he did this once before and ended up breaking it, and we ended up hanging out, and a lot of things sort of happened that night that made me realize our relationship is totally out of the ordinary and not something I think either one of us completely understands, and has taken a long time to grow into. Anyways, he had been drinking that night and we did end up fighting, and I left and he called me and texted me and told me to come back, and I didn't because I was upset and it was a lot of feels. It was overwhelming. So that's when he went silent again and stopped talking to me for the second time.
Five year silent streak?......He's totally into you.
I get it. I hurt him. He's totally making me pay for it, and maybe you're right, and he really just isn't feeling it anymore... that's sort of the whole point. I just have to sort of wait it out and see I guess.
To everyone else, thanks! I appreciate the kind words. It's really nice to hear.
Posted by BullShitThank you, that is tremendously encouraging! I am in a good place right now, I think that's partly why I miss him so much... Still, I totally agree, and again thank you.
I been there. I hope the best for YOU. Stay strong, keep on focusing on what you need to do and things will take care of themselves.
I go through this with another earth sign, and I'm the Cap. I'm usually the silent one, so being on the other end I saw how hurtful and abusive it really is, but I'm quick to draw the line on the amount of times I will reach out. Silence signals to me that you are ready to move on, and I won't stop a person from trying to get away from something that may possibly be unhealthy.
He wants to keep the lines open, which is why he hasn't deleted you from anything. It will really be up to you to put an end to this. IF he does come around, you may not think it now, but you will most likely resent him for his behavior. Things may never really be the same, so it's probably best to let go.
He wants to keep the lines open, which is why he hasn't deleted you from anything. It will really be up to you to put an end to this. IF he does come around, you may not think it now, but you will most likely resent him for his behavior. Things may never really be the same, so it's probably best to let go.
Posted by ElleDuMondeYes. I feel the same way, I understand it. I just hope he can move beyond it. Things happen, especially where we met at such a young age. I watched him date plenty of girls (my friends included) once he is done, he's done! Still, we were so careful with each-other, we had a different type of relationship. We took college classes together. We wrote each-other emails every couple of months to catch up. I called him out on his bullshit and he'd tell me I made him be a better person. We made each-other better. We weren't always immediately in each-others lives, but we would stay in contact. We both knew and agreed we needed time.
I can only chalk it up to super hyper self preservation.
I don't think they realise that it really hurts them more than protects them. If you go thru life doing that do you really ever establish real friendship ties?
I have found they are sometimes more unforgiving than scorps....and for things that most friends could work out with a little communication.
I hurt him, and he has been unforgiving on a level I never could be with him. So I've come to the conclusion that if time can't fix it, nothing will.
Posted by lnana04This is great perspective! I agree, I'm not sure what will come. I think with him I'd rather know than not, he just means too much to me. I guess time will tell.
I go through this with another earth sign, and I'm the Cap. I'm usually the silent one, so being on the other end I saw how hurtful and abusive it really is, but I'm quick to draw the line on the amount of times I will reach out. Silence signals to me that you are ready to move on, and I won't stop a person from trying to get away from something that may possibly be unhealthy.
He wants to keep the lines open, which is why he hasn't deleted you from anything. It will really be up to you to put an end to this. IF he does come around, you may not think it now, but you will most likely resent him for his behavior. Things may never really be the same, so it's probably best to let go.
Thank you!
Posted by ElleDuMondeAh, you totally get where I am coming from. Yes, exactly. Particularly because things are going good, and I wish I could tell him / hear about what he's doing. This happened between you and a Cappy too? Did you ever end up speaking to them or working it out? Very hard situation, not something I will allow myself to dwell on too much, but something that's been on my mind enough lately that it made me finally break-down and try to talk to him one last time. I said what I felt like I needed to say, and I guess that's all I can do.Posted by LuxhcIt's strange how you miss them more when you are in a good place. That happens to me too. It's like you want to run to your friend and tell them all about it....because they were such a close friend.....and they are just not there......like they never existed.Posted by BullShitThank you, that is tremendously encouraging! I am in a good place right now, I think that's partly why I miss him so much... Still, I totally agree, and again thank you.
I been there. I hope the best for YOU. Stay strong, keep on focusing on what you need to do and things will take care of themselves.click to expand
Posted by LuxhcGosh, I soooo know what you're saying. I've lived through almost exactly the same situation that you're describing.
He still hasn't blocked my messages or my iMessage would turn Green, I believe. So it's like he's there and he's not responding and he's being doing this for so long... I've given him months, maybe years of space? So it's just frustrating. I'm not trying to be super emotional about it, and I'm not torn up about it, and I don't expect some type of romantic relationship to be the resolve of this (even if we have feelings for each-other), in total honestly: I just want my friend back in my life. I miss him, and the more time that passes and the older we get the more I miss him.
Posted by SpiceNSugarIt's rough. I'm sorry!Posted by LuxhcGosh, I soooo know what you're saying. I've lived through almost exactly the same situation that you're describing.
He still hasn't blocked my messages or my iMessage would turn Green, I believe. So it's like he's there and he's not responding and he's being doing this for so long... I've given him months, maybe years of space? So it's just frustrating. I'm not trying to be super emotional about it, and I'm not torn up about it, and I don't expect some type of romantic relationship to be the resolve of this (even if we have feelings for each-other), in total honestly: I just want my friend back in my life. I miss him, and the more time that passes and the older we get the more I miss him.click to expand
Posted by ElleDuMondeSomeone please kill me if I doing this thirty years from now because I can totally forsee that happening. I completely get what you're saying, they can be so stubborn! Still, I think that's awesome that you sort of feel that way are are just determined to check up on him, I totally understand those feelings. I can move on from basically every one else, you know? Let it go and just not worry or think about it anymore but with him, I can't. He's just a really important person in my life and losing him forever just seems crazy to me. I hope he comes around for you! Hopefully he'll realize you do obviously care about him a ton and maybe be open to making amends. Staying mad at someone forever can only hurt the person staying mad, I think. You're totally right about what you said earlier.
Yeah, a cappy too. It hasn't been quite a year.of silence...it's been well over a year since the breakup.
I needed to go no contact to dissipate the feelings because we had tried to stay friends for about six months after the breakup and I couldnt shake them.
I told him what I was doing in advance. I came back three months later with an olive branch for friendship after I had reconciled the feels and he essentially told me to piss off and didn't want my friendship.
I try to poke him every few months just to say hi and to make sure he is still breathing but I don't get anything back. I will probably do that forever even if the email eventually comes back undeliverable.
when trust is lost its finish
Posted by LuxhcYou didn't talk to him, you talked at him. You spent most of that rambling message being passive aggressive. Not trying to offend you because I've done it too. I've sent very similar messages and sat there saying a lot of the same things you are in this post. I don't care, I don't this or that but I did care very much. I recognize it as being a Cap Moon thing but I'm sure others do it too. It's a protective thing. No one likes feeling vulnerable especially when they're already hurting and confused...but I've learned through the years that sometimes you have to be. Not for the other person but for yourself. You want him to know how you feel but you're not really saying it in a clear way. Be clear. Take out all the "stopped caring" nonsense and just be honest. You do care, you do want some kind of relationship otherwise you wouldn't still be trying, and you need to know if it's possible -tell him that. I think if you sit down and write out what you feel, want/need from him in a very clear, concise way and just send it it will feel like a huge weight has been lifted -doesn't matter if he shows the world what you said, doesn't matter if he even responds. You spoke your truth once and for all and now you can begin to move on.Posted by ElleDuMondeAh, you totally get where I am coming from. Yes, exactly. Particularly because things are going good, and I wish I could tell him / hear about what he's doing. This happened between you and a Cappy too? Did you ever end up speaking to them or working it out? Very hard situation, not something I will allow myself to dwell on too much, but something that's been on my mind enough lately that it made me finally break-down and try to talk to him one last time. I said what I felt like I needed to say, and I guess that's all I can do.Posted by LuxhcIt's strange how you miss them more when you are in a good place. That happens to me too. It's like you want to run to your friend and tell them all about it....because they were such a close friend.....and they are just not there......like they never existed.Posted by BullShitThank you, that is tremendously encouraging! I am in a good place right now, I think that's partly why I miss him so much... Still, I totally agree, and again thank you.
I been there. I hope the best for YOU. Stay strong, keep on focusing on what you need to do and things will take care of themselves.
click to expand
Just my 2 cents.
Posted by LuxhcI'm sorry you are hurting. Could it be that he's seeing someone else and it's serious? Either that or he's really really really mad and doesn't think you seem properly apologetic (as in you don't understand what you did yet, so let you sweat it out some more). But in my experience, Caps don't let it go that long without contacting if he wants to stay connected.
"You know I still can't figure out exactly what I did to have been graced (again) with this five year long silent streak. When did we get like this?
And not to mention that last time I saw you, I think we actually bypassed whatever this predicament was/is, and realized maybe we missed each-other? And I'm sorry if that didn't exactly end like previous sporadic nights we'd spent together. I guess after years of not seeing or talking to each-other, that isn't something you get to come into lightly.
All of my classes are getting seemingly harder and I guess if I'm looking to land myself into my desired masters program, I'll probably have to commit to being on campus at the *, and back in *** again. Maybe I'll see you around or something since I don't really expect to ever hear back from you. Just don't regret it if you do finally decide to talk to me and realize I've finally changed my number, or worse? I afforded myself the same freedom you seem to have; and stopped caring. Seems like a good plan, because I'm tired of making up excuses to try and figure this whole thing out."
................
My fellow Cappies:
I mean, seriously we meant a lot to each-other. I'm just going to leave it at that, I've tried so many times to talk to him and he won't respond at all... I'm hoping people don't jump to crazy conclusions here; we were young when we met, and we both needed to grow up. We've dated on and off. We've both made some mistakes. He's just way more unforgiving it seems like... and I tend to make huge exceptions for him. Either way, I have to stop and let it go from here, maybe in the future he'll reach out or something. I have no idea, but this was sort of my last attempt at getting a response. I have a pretty good understanding of Capricorns, he has an Aries moon. IDK. I guess at this point I'll just hope for the best from here.
Maybe other Caps can give you more insights.
"You didn't talk to him, you talked at him."
VERY good point. I can definitely relate to this...it's all I do. Then when there's crickets from the other end you wonder why. There is no room for any answer, or any kind of back and forth conversation, and absolutely no honesty.
VERY good point. I can definitely relate to this...it's all I do. Then when there's crickets from the other end you wonder why. There is no room for any answer, or any kind of back and forth conversation, and absolutely no honesty.
Posted by ElleDuMondeAgree.
It's a monologue.....it's her expression of her feelings....raw and unedited.
to try to make it sound different than what it is or move words around to make it more appealing to him wouldn't be genuine....that would be manipulation.
I like how she posted it AFTER she wrote it, instead of before. She owns it. I give her props for that.
Posted by nyxxeePosted by LuxhcYou didn't talk to him, you talked at him. You spent most of that rambling message being passive aggressive. Not trying to offend you because I've done it too. I've sent very similar messages and sat there saying a lot of the same things you are in this post. I don't care, I don't this or that but I did care very much. I recognize it as being a Cap Moon thing but I'm sure others do it too. It's a protective thing. No one likes feeling vulnerable especially when they're already hurting and confused...but I've learned through the years that sometimes you have to be. Not for the other person but for yourself. You want him to know how you feel but you're not really saying it in a clear way. Be clear. Take out all the "stopped caring" nonsense and just be honest. You do care, you do want some kind of relationship otherwise you wouldn't still be trying, and you need to know if it's possible -tell him that. I think if you sit down and write out what you feel, want/need from him in a very clear, concise way and just send it it will feel like a huge weight has been lifted -doesn't matter if he shows the world what you said, doesn't matter if he even responds. You spoke your truth once and for all and now you can begin to move on.Posted by ElleDuMondeAh, you totally get where I am coming from. Yes, exactly. Particularly because things are going good, and I wish I could tell him / hear about what he's doing. This happened between you and a Cappy too? Did you ever end up speaking to them or working it out? Very hard situation, not something I will allow myself to dwell on too much, but something that's been on my mind enough lately that it made me finally break-down and try to talk to him one last time. I said what I felt like I needed to say, and I guess that's all I can do.Posted by LuxhcIt's strange how you miss them more when you are in a good place. That happens to me too. It's like you want to run to your friend and tell them all about it....because they were such a close friend.....and they are just not there......like they never existed.Posted by BullShitThank you, that is tremendously encouraging! I am in a good place right now, I think that's partly why I miss him so much... Still, I totally agree, and again thank you.
I been there. I hope the best for YOU. Stay strong, keep on focusing on what you need to do and things will take care of themselves.
Just my 2 cents.
click to expand
I think ElleDuMonde said everything I need too. I'm really tired right now too so I'm having a hard time formatting thoughts as it is. This isn't the first time I've tried to talk to him, but I'm not going to fake my feelings, or hide my frustration, or change the way I say things. He knows me well enough to know that everything I said came from a I still really care about you place as well as a slightly frustrated place - basically, I don't think he'd interpret it as me talking at him. We're pretty honest with each other. Anyways, I just got home from work and I am going to fall asleep. Everyone have a great weekend!
Bless you x are you young ?
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
Like do you like someone to call or text you first?
I've been dating a Cap. man exclusively for a little over a year now. I'm 40 - divorced with 2 minor kids. My boyfriend is 54 and his kids are in their 20's. He too is divorced and his marriage and divorce were horrible. He recently told me that after gre
I have read up a lot on Cap Sun and Venus in Scorpio but haven't really come across the combination as such. Cap sun is supposed to be very restrained and they crave security, whereas scorpio is quite the opposite with intense feelings and emotional. How
First of all his sun and rising sign is in Capricorn, Venus in scorpio, scorpio midheaven, with an aquarius moon. This beautiful capricorn man and I have been having a sugar dadd/baby relationship since last November and it has been going great. gifts, l
I have been on a an erratic roller coaster with my leo gf for some time now and I just don't know how much longer we can stay on this ride. I love her I do but her inability to direct her anger and frustration on the intended person, obstacle is gravely a
Im a cap female and have a cap male interested in me. First cap ever romatically interested in me. Thing is I dont feel the same way back. Im not attracted to him while he is very attracted to me and I feel he has nothing to offer me that will help us gro
Cap Sun/Moon said, "I'll text you tomorrow," but that was 8 days ago. It's been radio silence since, coming off the heels of almost every day texting (which is not my preferred method of communication... but it's his, so I let him take the lead). He was
So it should come as no surprise that unless they do something drastic that goes against their most basic instincts, Capricorns are destined to be the most boring people you’ve ever met in your life. Capricorns are almost autistic: they are out of to
Me and the cap I'm dating recently exchanged our first I love you. I think he felt it previously but me walking away made him express emotions he never expressed before. Things are a lot better and we communicate a lot better than before. I know from read
Any Capricorns that have had a successful or rewarding long-term relationship with an Aries? I might be a fool for this, but I'm considering dating a Capricorn again.
What type of personality would come from these kind of placements?
Do you caps get angry if your partner,in my case,a wife,can't find a job,and all the finance depends on you??I really am trying hard,but can't find nothing...in the meantime,we are trying to have a baby..so I'm sometimes worried that he is going to reject
So since this Capricorn guy is so hard to read I'm looking for signals from his friends. I haven't spoken to the cap since December. But recently I added him on social media because I want to reconnect with him since I am moving to the same city to be
Aries, Cancer, Libra
What are your views about spending life with one person only ? Is it your thing to give one person your all (Putting all your eggs in one basket) or you want to jump from one person to another maybe because you are bored.. If so what are the reasons that
I haven't met many Cap men, but the few I know are addicted to gym workouts. Like, all 4 have or had a very buff muscle-ridden torso at some point. This one 27 yr old kid practically lives at the gym, and his fb is nothing but shirtless selfies. The othe
:(
Any Capricorn females and Capricorn males dating?
So, I noticed that ya'll LOVE to live in the past. I mean, always talking about past flings and exes. My ex wife would do this and the new GF has been doing this non-stop. What's up with that?
And not to mention that last time I saw you, I think we actually bypassed whatever this predicament was/is, and realized maybe we missed each-other? And I'm sorry if that didn't exactly end like previous sporadic nights we'd spent together. I guess after years of not seeing or talking to each-other, that isn't something you get to come into lightly.
All of my classes are getting seemingly harder and I guess if I'm looking to land myself into my desired masters program, I'll probably have to commit to being on campus at the *, and back in *** again. Maybe I'll see you around or something since I don't really expect to ever hear back from you. Just don't regret it if you do finally decide to talk to me and realize I've finally changed my number, or worse? I afforded myself the same freedom you seem to have; and stopped caring. Seems like a good plan, because I'm tired of making up excuses to try and figure this whole thing out."
................
My fellow Cappies:
I mean, seriously we meant a lot to each-other. I'm just going to leave it at that, I've tried so many times to talk to him and he won't respond at all... I'm hoping people don't jump to crazy conclusions here; we were young when we met, and we both needed to grow up. We've dated on and off. We've both made some mistakes. He's just way more unforgiving it seems like... and I tend to make huge exceptions for him. Either way, I have to stop and let it go from here, maybe in the future he'll reach out or something. I have no idea, but this was sort of my last attempt at getting a response. I have a pretty good understanding of Capricorns, he has an Aries moon. IDK. I guess at this point I'll just hope for the best from here.