What would you do?

One of my two BFFs is a Cancer. We are awesome, long time friends and I love her very much. The problem is she is miserable and I don't know how to help her.

Background: She met an Aries guy and married him within six months. My advice at the time was to wait and get to know him better, but she was in love and went ahead anyway. So I supported her. Now two months after their wedding, he has done a complete 360. As an Aries, he is sharp tongued and brusk and hurts her feelings a lot. She also has well deserved trust issues from some things that have happened since their marriage. But she's miserable to the point of thinking she made a mistake because she's tired of constantly getting her feelings hurt.

The reason I suggested she wait was for several reasons. He has a mental health disorder controlled by medication, this is his 5th marriage, he owns absolutely nothing and doesn't have an established career at 50 yrs old, he is a flirt with other women, he gets irritated with her for being herself, just a lot of things.

Anyway, the only thing I know to do is to sit and listen and allow her to vent. I know what I would do, but I'm not her. When she asks me what I would do, I hate to tell her because I don't want her to resent me. In the beginning, I thought it was just them needing to get used to living with each other, but I'm starting to think its deeper than that. I just tell her I wished I had an answer to solve her problems, but I'm floored by his behavior as well. I really don't want to get into it on here, but they are having a lot of issues from trust to respect to support to affection, etc.

So, what suggestions can you offer me to help her? I love her and want her to be happy.


I'll be honest here, too. I'm fighting keeping that cap mercury and moon contained. Part of me wants to say I told you not to, I don't want to hear it. But I really don't feel that way. I really do want to be there for her. So all I do is listen. It's all I know to do.

What do yall do to keep your capricornistic side controlled when you need to? I'm doing the best I can. So far.

See, I already told her what I thought before. It would come across as "I told you so."

Truecap- she needs a sounding board, but I think she knows what to do but maybe wants encouragement to take the nxt step. I dunno if it was me I'd be making arrangements to leave him and ensuring my assets n personal belongings are safe before I formally start proceedings.

I'm sure she doesn't want to hear I told you so but at the same time she needs an out.

I have told her not to settle for less and to stay true to herself. That she doesn't need this kind of treatment and shouldn't tolerate it. I did tell her I would give him an ultimatum.

But, I did NOT tell her I would leave him. Actually, I wouldn't have dated him in the first place, too many red flags from Day One. I don't want to encourage her to give up on her marriage. Though, its easier for her to do that now than later, in my opinion. But if she keeps asking, I know that's going to come out when I get enough of seeing her hurt like this. Hard to contain that harsh cap mercury sometimes.

I worry that her self esteem is dangerously low.

I appreciate your responses.