@westside
15 Years1,000+ PostsGemini
CALLING ALL 3RD DECANERS
*raises hand* here... i can be detached when i need to be. lol! also, i get a lot of that too. ppl are always thinking i'm in a bad mood, when really i'm just DEEP in thought. 🙂
I'm a female 3rd decan Gemini. Yep, the biggest complaint I get from people is that I am detached. Even my mom, a Gemini, but not 3rd decan, said I was like that as a small child. I show my love in subtle ways, not into public displays or a bunch of hugging and kissing. My demeanor is different behind closed doors but most people don't see that side of me.
3rd deacan here. I can turn it off and on, IF I choose too. Sometimes I try to stay in an emotional state just so I can feel like I fit in. I really don't, because the way I look at emotional attachment is a sign of insecurity and delusion. Not me.
Furthermore, I've ended relationships and friendships for asking me these simple questions:
"What are you thinking?"
"Are you mad at me?"
"Are you okay?"
"Did I do something to offend you?"
Turns me off, because it shows that people are looking for chinks in this GemTaurLeo's armor, and/or they are insecure people in that it will only be a matter of time before their shit comes to you. Experience.
Posted by GeminiMind
3rd deacan here. I can turn it off and on, IF I choose too. Sometimes I try to stay in an emotional state just so I can feel like I fit in. I really don't, because the way I look at emotional attachment is a sign of insecurity and delusion. Not me.Furthermore, I've ended relationships and friendships for asking me these simple questions:
"What are you thinking?"
"Are you mad at me?"
"Are you okay?"
"Did I do something to offend you?"
Turns me off, because it shows that people are looking for chinks in this GemTaurLeo's armor, and/or they are insecure people in that it will only be a matter of time before their shit comes to you. Experience.
i hear you man..it actually does start to piss me off when people ask shit like that..and i do start to get mad at them for worrying about stupid shit.
"Furthermore, I've ended relationships and friendships for asking me these simple questions:
"What are you thinking?"
"Are you mad at me?"
"Are you okay?"
"Did I do something to offend you?"
wise motherfucker right here
i get upset about all those questions too... not if they're asked once or twice, BUT, only if they are asked repeatedly and i've already given them the answer 10 different times... the answer still hasn't changed the. first. 9. times. lol!
See, I will answer those questions but they aren't usually the answers people expect.
What am I thinking? None or your business.
Am I mad at you? I don't feel one way or the other about you.
Am I ok. I'm well. Ok that one doesn't usually piss people off.
Did you offend me? Hitler offends me. So unless you need to get something off your chest chances are you aren't provoking much of an emotion out of me.
But hey, I found a way to stop what I consider rude or intrusive questions. Before I had a child women would always ask me...so no children, is that by choice or do you have fertility issues. My answer. Yes I had some fertility issues. I see you have 3 kids. Were they all by choice or rape?
And before anyone wants to jump my shit about making that comment about rape...fertility issues are just as private and none of anyones freaking business.
I'm a third decan female. I guess I'm detached, depending on what that means. I keep a little energetic distance between myself and everyone else. I like to have a mental place from which to observe and to decide if I feel like interacting.
Posted by GeminiMind
3rd deacan here. I can turn it off and on, IF I choose too. Sometimes I try to stay in an emotional state just so I can feel like I fit in. I really don't, because the way I look at emotional attachment is a sign of insecurity and delusion. Not me.Furthermore, I've ended relationships and friendships for asking me these simple questions:
"What are you thinking?"
"Are you mad at me?"
"Are you okay?"
"Did I do something to offend you?"
Turns me off, because it shows that people are looking for chinks in this GemTaurLeo's armor, and/or they are insecure people in that it will only be a matter of time before their shit comes to you. Experience.
I am really biting my lip to not say these things now. *fidgets* I'm rotten. (5)
And inept at the keyboard. LOL Should've been a 6.
3rd decan gem here...yea emotions and relationships with people are difficult,people are so demanding..
Sometimes for periods i dont want to interact so much..people think im mad or something,also im not often the one to contact someone,im glad if someone wants to chitchat,but i really dont have the urge to start any conversations and some get annoyed they say "why is it always me who starts the conversations" "aa she thinks she is something since she dosnt write to me now ill show her and ignore her and lets see a rection"
what they dont understand is that its nothing personal,im just analysing life into pieces in my own head.
And to answer a question like "what are you thinking?" is impossbile,i have my personal space and my most inner thoughts i share with very few people so why the hell should i tell someone what i am thinking?
Sometimes i end up in the Gemini shadow " The plotter" as described in the Liz Green book
"The Plotter is Gemini's paranoid shadow. He's a plotter not because he plans things against others, but because he's convinced everyone wants something from him, and he works out long convoluted ways of not giving it, whatever it might be.
This is a really difficult face of Gemini to deal with, and it stems from his sense of emotional alienation. Because he has a problem relating through feelings, he often can't trust; and he'll deny even the simplest confidences to another person because he's convinced that, if you know to much, you've got control of him.
Gemini at best is playfully evasive, and doesn't like a lot of prying and probing. Gemini fallen into his shadowy side is extremely difficult, because he's capable of being extremely hurtful and using the pointed darts of his nimble tongue to shame you into silence when all you were doing was showing interest.
He often tries to analyse life to pieces in the hope that he'll be spared from hurt, and develops a profound mistrust of other people's motives."
And i sometimes pause life and just read some very simple quotes and somehow find answers in them..for example
they move on because they are humourless,
demanding monogamists who don't understand that you can —lurv?? someone
without any sense of commitment
im not lost,im on adventure
Heart, we will forget him,
You and I, tonight!
You must forget the warmth he gave,
I will forget the light.
Some stars shines 4-ever... Even on a Cloudy night.
Each betrayal begins with trust
Its just that i cant fake intrest in people,i can be social and pollite but my god you have to be something special to be let into my personal sphere.
People see me as shallow,angry,short tempered,tough (or trying to be tough),angry and so on.
And yea im a female.
Posted by GeminiMind
3rd deacan here. I can turn it off and on, IF I choose too. Sometimes I try to stay in an emotional state just so I can feel like I fit in. I really don't, because the way I look at emotional attachment is a sign of insecurity and delusion. Not me.Furthermore, I've ended relationships and friendships for asking me these simple questions:
"What are you thinking?"
"Are you mad at me?"
"Are you okay?"
"Did I do something to offend you?"
Turns me off, because it shows that people are looking for chinks in this GemTaurLeo's armor, and/or they are insecure people in that it will only be a matter of time before their shit comes to you. Experience.
I am really biting my lip to not say these things now. *fidgets* I'm rotten. (5)
click to expand
*Embraces*
I think I get confused about emotions, because, although I have strong ones, they don't seem to fit the patterns that other people's emotions have. They pop out at the wrong times and stay in at the wrong times. They come on like wildfire and then disappear suddenly, without a trace. Sometimes it feels like I can't contain them all, and then it will feel like I have none...like I'm a robot. I feel bad about my self during those times, like I'm a terrible person for not feeling what I imagine other people are feeling. I feel like I don't really care about people. And yet, I'm always trying to make them happy. Is "caring" a noun or a verb? Often, my emotions are more of an empathic thing... I feel the emotions that others are putting out there and resonate with them like a tuning fork. Can anyone relate to any of this? I hope so, because my first decan Gem friend wasn't really getting it.
Posted by GeminiDahl
I'm a female 3rd decan Gemini. Yep, the biggest complaint I get from people is that I am detached. Even my mom, a Gemini, but not 3rd decan, said I was like that as a small child. I show my love in subtle ways, not into public displays or a bunch of hugging and kissing. My demeanor is different behind closed doors but most people don't see that side of me.
This. I'm a female 3rd Decan Gemini, and my mom, a Cancer, has also said I was detached as a child.
I'm first decan, actually taurus gem cusp......i use detachment all the time, but thought that was more a taurean trait...interesting.
Posted by taurusgeminicusp
I'm first decan, actually taurus gem cusp......i use detachment all the time, but thought that was more a taurean trait...interesting.
Detachment a Taurean trait— Uh.....no. The complete opposite actually.
Posted by westside
3RD DECANERS REPORT IN! im curious to see who all there is...are there any females? i know there are a couple males..but anyway what i wanted to ask is are you guys extremely detached? and can you turn it of and on? i used to be hardly detached at all..but now i definately prefer to be detached when im around most people...sometimes people think there something wrong with me too...like "are you okay??" "you seem angry" when im just being myself
3rd decan here, yes this resonates with me as well...I can't count the number of times I've been perceived as an obtuse, mean selfish person. I just don't bother defending my countenance anymore, I let them think what they wanna think...
3RD DECANERS REPORT IN! im curious to see who all there is...are there any females? i know there are a couple males..but anyway what i wanted to ask is are you guys extremely detached? and can you turn it of and on? i used to be hardly detached at all..but now i definately prefer to be detached when im around most people...sometimes people think there something wrong with me too...like "are you okay??" "you seem angry" when im just being myself
3rd decan here. On the cusp of the 2nd. And yes I relate to this. Although I don't mind company at times but still need my me time when it drains me.
3rd decan gem here...yea emotions and relationships with people are difficult,people are so demanding..
Sometimes for periods i dont want to interact so much..people think im mad or something,also im not often the one to contact someone,im glad if someone wants to chitchat,but i really dont have the urge to start any conversations and some get annoyed they say "why is it always me who starts the conversations" "aa she thinks she is something since she dosnt write to me now ill show her and ignore her and lets see a rection"
what they dont understand is that its nothing personal,im just analysing life into pieces in my own head.
And to answer a question like "what are you thinking?" is impossbile,i have my personal space and my most inner thoughts i share with very few people so why the hell should i tell someone what i am thinking?
Sometimes i end up in the Gemini shadow " The plotter" as described in the Liz Green book
"The Plotter is Gemini's paranoid shadow. He's a plotter not because he plans things against others, but because he's convinced everyone wants something from him, and he works out long convoluted ways of not giving it, whatever it might be.
This is a really difficult face of Gemini to deal with, and it stems from his sense of emotional alienation. Because he has a problem relating through feelings, he often can't trust; and he'll deny even the simplest confidences to another person because he's convinced that, if you know to much, you've got control of him.
Gemini at best is playfully evasive, and doesn't like a lot of prying and probing. Gemini fallen into his shadowy side is extremely difficult, because he's capable of being extremely hurtful and using the pointed darts of his nimble tongue to shame you into silence when all you were doing was showing interest.
He often tries to analyse life to pieces in the hope that he'll be spared from hurt, and develops a profound mistrust of other people's motives."
And i sometimes pause life and just read some very simple quotes and somehow find answers in them..for example
they move on because they are humourless,
demanding monogamists who don't understand that you can —lurv?? someone
without any sense of commitment
im not lost,im on adventure
Heart, we will forget him,
You and I, tonight!
You must forget the warmth he gave,
I will forget the light.
Some stars shines 4-ever... Even on a Cloudy night.
Each betrayal begins with trust
That Writing style , damn.
I feel like I am looking into the mirror.
The Use of Proper Paragraphing to separately describe each sub-topic. Haha.. Even though I'm a 1st Decan, it filled me with pleasure to see a Writing- style -Mate. 😄
3RD DECANERS REPORT IN! im curious to see who all there is...are there any females? i know there are a couple males..but anyway what i wanted to ask is are you guys extremely detached? and can you turn it of and on? i used to be hardly detached at all..but now i definately prefer to be detached when im around most people...sometimes people think there something wrong with me too...like "are you okay??" "you seem angry" when im just being myself
3rd decan here. On the cusp of the 2nd. And yes I relate to this. Although I don't mind company at times but still need my me time when it drains me.
Dang, didn't even know you were a Gem too! I'm 3rd decan as well.
click to expand
uhh..what sign you thought I was?
Want to keep conversations like this alive?
If you’re trying to understand disappearing, distance, or silence in situations like Gemini, these real experiences can help. You can support dxpnet below.
Every contribution helps keep dxpnet independent and ad-light.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →
3RD DECANERS REPORT IN! im curious to see who all there is...are there any females? i know there are a couple males..but anyway what i wanted to ask is are you guys extremely detached? and can you turn it of and on? i used to be hardly detached at all..but now i definately prefer to be detached when im around most people...sometimes people think there something wrong with me too...like "are you okay??" "you seem angry" when im just being myself