confused by gemini

Hi to all you Gemini. Hope I dont bor you with this book im about to write but il try to keep it shortish. I met this gemini man on an online date site was the first time for us both, anyway we had an awesome click so we decided to meet. We hung out as friends for a couple of weeks then we stepped up to the next level. He lives an hour away so we spent every weekend together and he would come over for a night midweek.We were so comfortable with each other and laughed all the time. When we wer together he couldnt keep his hands of me and said the most gorgeous things, i really started to fall for him and felt that he felt the same. Suddenly he went cold, no warning signs. He had said he couldnt do relationships, he wasnt good at them but his actions never said that. So we end up just emailing and txting. He says he blew a fuse, trouble with his teenage son, job problems etc etc. So i hung in there being a sounding board and giving positive advice. Waiting around for him to get his life sorted. But 3 months go by and not one visit. Started having doubts of whether i was being played, was he being straight up etc. He would say things in his emails like i had a huge effect on him that i was gorgeous, funny smart. Then even the messages got few and far between, first his phone isnt working so we are just emailing then his comp plays up. He would even come over to my town because he has another older son living here but still he wouldnt drop in— But he would still say things to keep me hanging by a thread. So I decided to cut all contact. 2 months go by then on Valentines he txt me damn him cos now we are back to the messaging again, i was still thinking about him most days but was trying to move on. He ses he wants to catch up and sorry for being such a twat etc. Im just playing it cool, he seems to be more compfy with me just keeping the messages plutonic. Jeeze i just dont get him. We are both in our 40's, im to old to play games. Sometimes i think he prefers to live in a fantasy world. Im an aries so i live in reality. Im also always totally honest just hate to think hes playing me but i really felt we had something pretty special. Ive been coming on this site for a while trying to get an understanding of him. Would love to hear your opinions. Thanx

From the bit you've shared, it sounds like he's not interested in anything serious. It seems that he is only reaching out to you when he's bored or needs reasurrance that he can keep a woman's interest.

I say move on and don't waste your time on him.

I am glad that you posted as I have been in a similar much longer situation. Some men like to have back up and it seems as you have become the back up. It is unfortunate that some men can't man up and admit to it and we are left having to do the heavy work. I suggest deleting the number and move on.

Hmmm not what i wanted to hear of course but yes i knew that really, was living in abit of a fantasy myself i supose. I will never understand how people can put up such an act. Im so honest and passionate all of the time that i always give the benefit of the doubt. I have been dissappointed in people many times in my 45 years but i refuse to become cynical and not believe that people can be honest and real about their feelings. At least i can lie straight in my bed. Thanx for the input, funny that comments from complete strangers seem to sink in more than my own thoughts.

Be glad that yours at least let you know that he couldn't do a relationship. Mine made me believe that he could, even to the point of asking me to be good prior to leaving for a month of work. I have not scene him in six months now, but receive text messages on his schedule and what not. Maybe it's the fact that they have such a short attention span...

OMG they are so complicated and weird. Yes he did say that to me but he also said many things opposite. Im still at two minds whether he is just totally screwed in the head or really complex or just a player. He does give me the impression he dosnt have alot of self worth, but then again that could be part of the game——? Anyway im not txting him. He will txt me ive just gotta have some control and not answer. Boy he can be so charming though, especially if he dosnt hear from me for a bit he knows how to draw me back. When i read anything about Gemini he is definately one to a T. Funny thing I have another Gem who visits he is a work collegue but married. Was algood cos we were just friends and id met his wife but suddenly he was getting that look in his eye and when his wife rang once when he was at mine having coffee he lied at where he was. Warning bells for me, i abhor infedelity. So ive had to back away from that friendship. He probably would never make the actual move on me, from what ive read its more lived in the head than reality of doing it. Strange world they live in. Oh and my apologies if im offending other Gems im sure you are not all the same.

Most Geminis are like that. They are just explorers by nature & they are free. It doesn't have to have anything to do with you. That's how most of them are organically. They always come back. 😉

Hmmmm i noticed they always come back but watch out if you get into their heads to much 'Poof' gone again

Posted by NZaries
Hmmmm i noticed they always come back but watch out if you get into their heads to much 'Poof' gone again

Yes!!!!! They don't like that. At least my gem doesn't. He tells me that too. "Don't try to get into my head", is what he says. I'm like please, I'm already in your head...😄

mine just dissappears. what sun sign are you

Virgo. But you really need to consider the whole chart. I have alot of Libra placements & a sag rising, so my chart is mostly air & fire. He is a watered down gem, lol. Loads of Cancer!! I think that's where the problem lies...*shrugs*

I dunno, he fits everything ive read about gems. My daughters a cancer so i know a little about cancers. I can see some of that in him but mostly he just seems so confused and confusing. Lol Think i need to just give it up before my head explodes

How long have you been with ur gem realtalk. How hard has it been. Does it do ur head in?

It's been a little over a year until recently. We had a falling out & we're not speaking right now, & quite frankly IDK if we will again. It's been a bumpy ride with him & yes it does my head in. He's not really expressive about how & what he feels, but I brought it out of him one day, 😉. I've also learned that he's very sensitive & he's a pro at hiding it, but I can still see it.

Their little minds are soooo complex arnt they. This one is a very funny man, cracks me up all the time but he also uses humour to sidestep anything that gets to deep. I do manage to drag abit out of him emotionally, i have a bit of a knack for that with most people. Unintentionally. Anyway i think thats one of the reasons he dissappears. Sorry to hear things havnt worked for you and yours but he will be back aye, can you resist the charm, and not climb back on that rollercoaster. Good luck anyway

Yes, I actually can & I have before. 😉. He does that to about joking when I'm serious. He did that when we were discussing something over the phone. I got pissed & told him I'm not playing his stupid little games anymore. He called me later on horny 😛. He wanted me & I resisted to see him, hahaha. We just got really freaky over the phone. 😈

Sometimes with gems, most of them anyway, when you tug at their heart & they feel something deep, they disappear too. I've also read that if they love you, they treat you cold. *shrugs*

Their feelings run hot & cold in that regard.

Hmmmm yep the 3 months with him were so intense, feelings ran deep we had a real click, spent so much time together, thats why ive found it so hard to let go. Then he ran. There was alot of sxtin and hot emailing but nothing in person. He tries to get back to the sxting but it drives me insane i need reality not fantasy, which i told him before cutting him off. But hes crept back in with the txts, although today i got pissed with him so ofcourse havnt heard back. Im not messaging him, wish he would do the same, end this madness.

Posted by NZaries
Hmmmm yep the 3 months with him were so intense, feelings ran deep we had a real click, spent so much time together, thats why ive found it so hard to let go. Then he ran. There was alot of sxtin and hot emailing but nothing in person. He tries to get back to the sxting but it drives me insane i need reality not fantasy, which i told him before cutting him off. But hes crept back in with the txts, although today i got pissed with him so ofcourse havnt heard back. Im not messaging him, wish he would do the same, end this madness.

Yeah it's bullshit. I won't be bothered, that's why I'm NOT talking to him now. It's either black or white, I don't have time for all of that uncertainty. Next time he calls & if it's damn near impossible to tell him to his face, tell him on the phone that you won't be bothered with his bullshit. If he's going to stay, stay. If he's going to disappear, stay the fuck away. Feel me?

Yep sure do. Thanxs for slapping me awake!!!

Lol, I know it's not easy, but sometimes you gotta just keep it real & let them know what's up. He'll respect that.

So you heard from yours?

Oh and im far far to old for these games. Jeeze ive been married, divorced. 4 grown kids. OMG who'd have thought id get myself in this predicament. Lol Im actually a strong person that takes no shit as a rule. WTF

Nope.

It's not easy when you start to have feelings for someone. He should know better. He's too old to be doing that.

Ya think.Lol anyway i think ive got my head around it now. This site has helped. Fuck him!! is what i say

how long since you two have spoken?

Few weeks. We had a fight.

Stay strong. You sound like you are anyway. Sometimes enoughs enough. Lifes to short, no room for dramas

If he's not communicating with you and not coming by to see you when he's in town--he's just not that into you. Don't mean to be so blunt but surely you know that by now. Most Gemini's when they are into someone their presence in your life is huge. He probably has something going on in with someone in his town and is keeping you on the backburner. I wouldn't respond to his sometimey texts. Confront him and tell him how you're feeling. If he doesn't respond to that, move on. You deserve better...

Thanks, yes im ignoring him now. Just weird, if im not into someone i dont tell them how gorgeous they are or how i really realy like them, that they are sexy, smart, funny. Write them poems etc blah blah. Anyway thats just me. Wtf
Im sorting it in my head so the next time he txts im pressing delete

I would suggest blocking his number. He is playing mind games and for some reason you are liking the attention. Cut him loose, read some articles on self esteem and move on already.

*sorry that this seems so harsh but I have dated two gemini's that sound like yours and both times I stayed way beyond the expiration date...