Friends with ex

Is it possible for you to be friends with an ex? Especially if you just got bored with them in the relationship and no bad blood was there? OR would you just want to move on completely from them?

I was with my EX for 5 years, however, it was a mutual breakup. In the beginning it was a bit hard for me due to the fact I still has lingering feelings. However, I wanted a friendship because I cared for him. I honestly can say it really depends on the individual; everybody is different and some times it also depends with whom. This person you can be friends but maybe the next person you can't for whatever the reason is.

When enough time passes, maybe. Depends on the individuals. People try to be friends with exes immediately after the break up and it never really works due to lingering feelings.

My Libra ex acted like a freak for quite some time after the break up, which was ages ago. It's only been in the last year or two he's finally started to act somewhat normal around me and we can actually have convos.

We're far from friends though. Just on good terms.

Posted by blackphase
Are you asking as a Gemini or just in general?

My ex is my very best friend actually. He is a Leo, we were together and lived together for five years. We were sort of on the terms you speak of. We were not on bad terms upon breaking up.. He broke up with me, due to my negative attitude and him feeling like he wasn't getting any further in life (career wise). I was crushed and very sad for a few months, we still spoke and saw one another in that period, but I got over it and realized that it was the familiarity and comfortably of the relationship that I did not want to part with, I didn't have that "in love" feeling for him anymore. For years we were just living like best friends or roommates and I then realized that I had the chance to find the love I always wanted, but we stayed very close. Of course a few months down the road he wanted to get back together and was kicking himself in the ass, but it was too late for me at that point once I had come to certain realizations. We are on the same page now, this was 3 or more years ago. I see him and talk to him regularly, we had a dog together, so we visit him lots so he can still be a part of his life. He even gets a long great with my current boyfriend and the three of us hang out all of the time. A lot of people find our situation very odd, but it works for us just fine.

Sigh I miss my friend because at the core we really were friends. I guess I should just wait for him to reach out especially after I stupidly contacted him while drunk last Saturday. I know I know it was stupid but I didn't say anything too needy or mean I don't think.

Gem girl that I was seeing until recently said that she always remain friends with her ex bf's, and she only has male friends. Let's be honest, if a girl is hot, and you were intimate, there is no way that he can watch you only friendly. Maybe friends with benefit thing, but just friends, no way. I personally saw what kind of messages they are sending to her, and it is obvious that they want to be with her.

How many men would be friends with some fat and unattractive girl? Don't know those. They are calling her for various activities, but the fact is that they are just using friendship to be close to her. And when they get drunk, they are giving her a lot of compliments, and all that. So, to be honest, it's a crap. Don't bullshit yourself. 🙂

Posted by Flamebait
I wouldnt stay in contact with someone who I got bored with. There's no point in that.

And do you get bored if couple of dates were the same, I mean, the same time, location, just walking and talking, or it takes longer of some routine for that?

The only ex I'm friends with is an ex libra from years ago... and, it's only for my daughter's sake.

i'm still friends with my ex bf of 2 years we talk once in a while. it was hard at first of course bc i still had strong feelings for him. As the time went by, things gotten better. And after a month, we started talking as friends. things were good and was happy about it.

Well, for those Gem girls that have many ex bf's as friends, that is friends with benefits thing. If the girl is hot, then it is obvious. But ofc, that tells you a lot about that girl. Probably she's not emotional at all if she can be friends with all her ex bf's. All in all, not a good sign for long term, but great for some open relationship. They are just not reliable and emotional, and can quickly switch you for someone else.

Posted by ozzzy
Well, for those Gem girls that have many ex bf's as friends, that is friends with benefits thing. If the girl is hot, then it is obvious. But ofc, that tells you a lot about that girl. Probably she's not emotional at all if she can be friends with all her ex bf's. All in all, not a good sign for long term, but great for some open relationship. They are just not reliable and emotional, and can quickly switch you for someone else.

This is exactly why I can't be friends with an ex. I am just too emotional to handle that. My Gem ex has reached out to me every week for the past several months and it drove me mad. I had to beg him to leave me alone, and I think he now understands. I don't get how/why anyone male or female would want to stay "friends" with an ex? To me that would mean there are still feelings(sexual or emotional) or they were not really into them in the first place....

Posted by littlemegabyte

Posted by Moonbutter

Posted by ozzzy
Well, for those Gem girls that have many ex bf's as friends, that is friends with benefits thing. If the girl is hot, then it is obvious. But ofc, that tells you a lot about that girl. Probably she's not emotional at all if she can be friends with all her ex bf's. All in all, not a good sign for long term, but great for some open relationship. They are just not reliable and emotional, and can quickly switch you for someone else.

This is exactly why I can't be friends with an ex. I am just too emotional to handle that. My Gem ex has reached out to me every week for the past several months and it drove me mad. I had to beg him to leave me alone, and I think he now understands. I don't get how/why anyone male or female would want to stay "friends" with an ex? To me that would mean there are still feelings(sexual or emotional) or they were not really into them in the first place....

To me, it just means that the relationship evolves into something else. No lingering sexual feelings or romantic attachments.

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Yes, I think with time it can happen..I'm just not sure I am cut out for that, but like you said we all evolve and I have surely eaten my words before!

Posted by littlemegabyte

Posted by ozzzy
Well, for those Gem girls that have many ex bf's as friends, that is friends with benefits thing. If the girl is hot, then it is obvious. But ofc, that tells you a lot about that girl. Probably she's not emotional at all if she can be friends with all her ex bf's. All in all, not a good sign for long term, but great for some open relationship. They are just not reliable and emotional, and can quickly switch you for someone else.

Judgy judger.... I am capable of being friends with an ex, and not as friends with benefits. No, it doesn't tell you a lot about me, I can be emotional too, and I don't think that it's a big red flag to be friends with an ex. It means that I have the maturity to realize that the relationship didn't work as S.O.'s, but that doesn't mean it can't work as friends. I feel like saying that makes a person unreliable is..... lol.... not true at all. My exes are important to me because I spent so much of my life with them. Of course anyone who spends a significant amount of time with another person will have some type of emotional attachment, but it's not necessarily romantic/sexual.

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Ok, maybe you're looking at them only as a friend...but what about them? Are they looking at you only as a friend? If you're hot, it is impossible, unless they're gay. I know that many Gem women love to be friends with her ex, the same as the girl I was recently seeing. But I saw their messages, ofc that they are hitting on her, and are sending kisses, and other stuff. When they're drunk, they are calling her to say to her that she is great girl, and other bs. When you're drunk, you speak the truth, and somethings that you maybe won't while sober. So, how can that be true friendship? Also, when she goes 1 on 1 with her "friends" some of them are asking her to be together, and others are joking like that they would make her a baby and all that stuff.

Well, tnx for an explanation. And about that last part "never for no reason", don't know. Gem girl I was seeing recently went from chasing me, to ignoring my messages, even though I really didn't do anything wrong. The last date went well, she took a picture of our two, and posted on the FB, and said that she god what she wanted. After that date, she would never text first, but was responding when I texted, and only friendly.

Then, after some time, she didn't texted again, I was first, and she complained how she doesn't have the credit for the SMS (but I saw her on a dating site online, so she could contact me there), and that she doesn't have the money, so she don't want me to pay her a drink or anything else, and it's her turn to pay me. She was even flirty then, and said that we will see each other if she gets better. 2 weeks has passed, she didn't texted me, and when I asked how she is, no respond for 5 days, and she is still online on a dating site.

Don't know what went wrong, 'cause, I know that for you primary is intellectual conversation, and good communication, and I have both, that's why she got interested and chased me I guess. And whatever the reason, why she would say that she wants to meet me if she don't? No point in that, plus all that ignoring. I'm not a fool, ofc that she probably is seeing someone else, it's just, don't know why, I don't see a mistake. And my intuition tells me ofc that it's over. She was in longer relationships with some bad guys though. Also said that she loves when someone is good to her, that she is better then, but obviously fake.

I know that Gem girls especially hates routine, and our dates were all similar, I mean, at the same time, same place, just walking & talking...maybe that was a problem? But even if I wanted to do something different, that includes spending money, and she always refused, even though she always mentioned that we must go there, and there, and ofc, it never happened, she just talked. Why making planes on her initiative, and then disappear every time?

All I know is that I won't date another Gem girl. I know couple of them, and they always liked me, and wanted me, but I see that it is better to be only friends with you, despite that. Libra's are better for a relationship imho, because, if they like you, there is nobody else, no games, etc.

@Ozzzy: Especially when Im struggling financially, I kind of recoil from society. I will kinda ignore everyone and get lost in Reddit andTV shows. Even when everything thing in life is peachy, I will sometimes truly just forget to txt people back. And if a bajillion others txted me after you, then it's out of sight out of mind. Sometimes Ill even forget to txt back for so long that Im too embarassed to txt them saying sorry for not txting, haha!

Maybe she didnt mean to come off as chasing you, and was being flirty in a platonic way?

Well, she did said that she don't like when she don't have money, but damn, if you want to see somebody, money is not important. Our first few dates where only just walking and talking, so no money was required. She also said that she must be with someone, cause she doesn't like when she's single. And as I already wrote, many are chasing her. Gem girl usually don't like when someone chase them, but they like the attention. She takes everyday at least 10 selfies, cause she is photo model. So she is all in herself, and it's all about her.

But, when I think about it, she never asked me anything personal, unless I mentioned it, which is strange, cause girls when they like someone, they ask many personal questions. She always just talked about herself. And she also didn't kept many plans with me, even she was the one to initiate all of those events, and then she would disappear when the time comes. And then she would again make some plans, and that I must go with her, then again, nothing. If she doesn't have the money, then why is she planning all those things.

Our last date was on 5th August, so yeah, I assume that she is with someone else. After that last date she didn't texted first, and when I did, she was just friendly. But even when she was texting me first, and showing many affection for days, she had those periods when she acts friendly (no flirting and kisses over messages), but when we see each other, it was all OK. And now it was just friendly, and then after her last message nothing.

Two weeks passed, I asked her how she's doing, because she stretched the muscle at work, so she was nervous because it would mean no money for some time. So she still didn't answered. You could say that from our last date which went well btw, she never texted first, and acted so flaky. Used maybe excuses not to see me, and now nothing, ignore. I didn't had a chance to bore her, so I find it strange. I know that she doesn't have a credit for messages, but then sometimes she used phone of her brother to explain that, and now nothing.

Who knows what's her Ascendant, but even though she said that she likes older men, because they're mature, she acts immature. I never dated any Gem girl, she was the first one, but I met several Gem girls, and they wanted me. One was not my type, but she got hooked after the first date, second one was far away, and the third one is in a long relationship, but she's always near me, and contacted me first, and she likes to talk with me, and I clearly see that she is attracted also, I could tell by her body language.

Funny thing is, that 3rd girl was with a Sag one month, and dumped him because she didn't know what to expect from him, he wasn't consistent, and was not contacting her for days, so she didn't liked that. And here the situation is totally opposite, although I still didn't contacted her too much, and mostly waited for her to chase me, cause Gem girls prefer it that way.