Getting back a Gemini? Story Ahead!

Updated!!! See Page 8



Hi All,

Just joined this very interesting forum to see if anyone could kindly give me their opinion on my situation. Until just recently I was dating this beautiful Gemini woman for a year. She's 23 and a single mom and I'm 28. The baby's father is not involved whatsoever and this has been my only experience dating a woman with a child. We had great chemistry and for the first 6 months it was amazing. We both knew we wanted to marry each other and we really displayed our love. We promised each other we've never leave one another and we'll overcome any problems that lie ahead.

Unfortunately, we began to have to some problems that would result in several heated arguments. Arguments that would leave us from not speaking for a few days. These arguments would either be caused by her feeling not appreciated enough (even though I really did my best) her wanting to start a family soon, to jealousy and to her getting mad that I still wouldn't present her to my family after 6 months of dating. Throughout some of these arguments she would easily express that there's several other men out there who would treat her much better and that she would easily replace me. Our arguments would get very heated but I would honestly say that I would always remain the most calm, while she would proceed with name calling, threats, etc. Each argument had one or the other returning to later apologize and patch things up.

Anyways, right before Christmas we had a huge fight but within days I tried to patch things up but this time it felt very awkward. We met for lunch but I realized that she was very cold. She would not say "i love you" back to me or even kiss me like how she would usually. There was no passion. The following day she simply texted me to tell me that she was done with everything and that she had been talking to someone else. I was truly shocked.

I proceeded to just ignore her messages and decided to back off and see what she would later say. She then texted me that she hadn't been speaking to anyone but that she wanted me to just stop looking for her. I ignored it and decided to just give her space. After 3 weeks, I decided to reach out to her and was eager to make us work, until, she then tells me that she's already with someone and loves him very much. I was shocked beyond belief. Was she speaking to someone behind my back all this time? I would call her again but she wouldn't tell me anything and would just hang up. Two days later I went to go see her personally at her home to see if we could talk. Her mother greeted me and seemed uncomfortable seeing me there. She did confirm she's been seeing someone (someone she used to see briefly before - who this guy was obsessed with her) and that evening, she had gone to his families household to be introduced to his parents, since they have been talking about marriage. I could not believe it what her mom was telling me. I sat there in disbelief. It's only been 3 weeks and she already was with someone and was considering marriage? I left and asked her mom to please have her call me.

When she called later that evening, I saw a whole different side of her. She was screaming, cursing, telling me to back off and never to go look for her again. Telling me that this is what I deserved for not appreciating her enough. I tried to reason with her but it didn't go anywhere. She changed her number and demanded that I don't mess things up with her new boyfriend. Her mom even texted me to tell me to just look for someone else as she didn't want any problems at home. I backed off. Confused and disappointed. No matter what has happened before, we were always at each other's arms at the end of the day. This time it was like she was a whole different person. I never reached out to her again but realized that one night she called me from a blocked number (she would do this frequently so I knew it was her) but I wasn't around on my phone. The next day I was having some chest pains and second later i fainted. My family took me to the hospital and had to stay for the night while my heart would get checked. There I proceeded to write her an email to reminisce the times we've had, the accomplishments we've made together and ask her to think through her decision. A day later she called me (blocked so I wouldn't have a way to contact her) and we spoke about my stay at the hospital. Throughout the conversation she brought up the letter but she made it clear that she's going to remain loyal to her new boyfriend and this would be the last time I hear from her. I accepted it.

It still confuses me as to what happened and have been debating whether we'd ever be together again, especially considering the tough times we've had in the past and the effort we've always managed to put in before.

I've decided to back off entirely but I sure do miss what we had.

Any thoughts? Suggestions? Obviously, I'd like to get back together but...how?

Btw: I've had great gfs before and I've never had problems getting girls but this one is different.

Posted by Capri-sun
@littlenanobyte @vageenka @Hrodebert

Thanks!

Oh man, having been married to a Gemini for 12 years...

Let it go. Your relationships sounds hyper dramatic, and toxic. My ex husband was amazing in the beginning. As soon as he got hurt, he went on the rampage. He would hit low and hard. It didn't stop. And he had zero qualms about his actions and words. It took him about 4 years after making a mistake, to actually apologize for it and not blame me solely for his own actions. They can be vicious once provoked.

But if they are done, they tend to be done.

Thanks everyone! Really appreciate it

Posted by aquarius_beauty
I have a Gemini moon and I can see what she's doing and what she did.

One, she's an immature Gemini. A mature and stable Gemini would never behave that way (unless of course your omitting important details about your behavior).

Second, you saw her for who she is. That different side of her is that other twin. Geminis have dual personalities in one. Some people call them psychotic, bipolar, hypocrites... I call them the sweet and sour patches. Ever seen the commercials? Yup that's them.

Third, you need to move on. This girl was hurt by your reluctance to do as she wanted. So she sought out in a way vengeance and at the same time another guy. So now she's doing what she wants to do. Geminis habe control issues.

And if any Gemini says he doesn't then they're in denial. My father, my friends mom, and ex Leos mom... Geminis. My daughter a Gemini and my moon in Gemini all point to one truth. Geminis are controlling AF. They don't get their way they throw a tantrum and their dark personality shows.

What sign r u btw?

Thanks!

I'm an Aquarius!

On a completely different side note, I really think people are way too lax using the word love.

How the hell anyone can love someone else in a matter of months is beyond me.

Thanks guys. I will say that I really did my best to try to be there for both the baby (2 year old) and her but she would really become annoyed that I wouldn't introduce her to my family quick enough. My family is very traditional so I did advise her that it would take some time before I do so.

I should mention so quick facts:

I do have a great job (making close to six figures), Women do find me attractive (trying to remain humble here) and I'm generally a very driven guy. I even persuade her to go back to school and seek a better life. Helping her get a better job even. We did have our communication issues but otherwise it was really good. The other guy, I will say, has been pursuing her for years but she wouldn't really give him much time. Not sure what exactly is the history only that they're now together.

Listen, I don't trust any female that has a kid and immediately introduces the kid to every guy in her life.

Introducing you to her child should be a privilege earned. I wouldn't let any man come into my son's life unless we are together for at least 6 months. Kids get emotionally attached easily, and to just let every person in and out of their life speaks volumes of her character to me.

You should be glad you grazed the bullet with her. Cause to me, she is to loose and fast for my taste.

Posted by nikkistar
Listen, I don't trust any female that has a kid and immediately introduces the kid to every guy in her life.

Introducing you to her child should be a privilege earned. I wouldn't let any man come into my son's life unless we are together for at least 6 months. Kids get emotionally attached easily, and to just let every person in and out of their life speaks volumes of her character to me.

You should be glad you grazed the bullet with her. Cause to me, she is to loose and fast for my taste.

I completely agree! Her son is turning 2 years old and I was the one always there for it - i was there cheering him on when it took it first steps! I will say that he did become attached to me so it bothers me that she could just bring someone else into the picture so quickly, without any consideration for her son. I for one wouldn't do that as it could cause a lot of confusion and instability for the child.

Posted by PootyButt
In my humble opinion, this is how a Gemini behaves when she feels like a victim of life and she hasn't accepted that she needs to control herself (we DO have a dark side, and it's not all candy and roses; you can't just let that tongue fly when you're mad.) She sounds young. If she isn't, then she must be kind of young emotionally.

I agree that she feels the need to create a stable environment for her child, and that's probably feeding a lot of this. She cares more about getting married at this point than who she's getting married to. You should be glad you didn't get caught up in that. Who knows. Maybe she'll mature and be a great person later, but for right now I think you should let her go.

Thank you. She is young and I've done my best to be there and do everything I can to help with the child (I miss him a lot btw) but I agree, she must be looking for a more stable environment. I will say that she did tell me at times that she wanted to get pregnant and have kids asap so it wouldn't surprise me if she does so quickly.

Posted by Capri-sun
I know nothing about Geminis. I do believe that you should move on & let this one go. She doesn't sound like the best fit for you, and it seems you 2 are on different pages and moving at different speeds.

Find someone you feel comfortable introducing to your parents when you're ready instead of someone pressuring you to do so.

I know it's hard now, give yourself time to heal then try again with someone else. She doesn't sound invested, even prior to the split.

Thank you!

Posted by PootyButt

Posted by Schenker87

Posted by PootyButt
In my humble opinion, this is how a Gemini behaves when she feels like a victim of life and she hasn't accepted that she needs to control herself (we DO have a dark side, and it's not all candy and roses; you can't just let that tongue fly when you're mad.) She sounds young. If she isn't, then she must be kind of young emotionally.

I agree that she feels the need to create a stable environment for her child, and that's probably feeding a lot of this. She cares more about getting married at this point than who she's getting married to. You should be glad you didn't get caught up in that. Who knows. Maybe she'll mature and be a great person later, but for right now I think you should let her go.

Thank you. She is young and I've done my best to be there and do everything I can to help with the child (I miss him a lot btw) but I agree, she must be looking for a more stable environment. I will say that she did tell me at times that she wanted to get pregnant and have kids asap so it wouldn't surprise me if she does so quickly.

Well, in the long run, you may be the more stable environment. I can't say. But she is looking short-term, it seems, and she wants to be married soon. I'm sorry about the kid. That must be really hard. 😢

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Thank you. I did try my best for both of them but you're right, she really is looking to be married soon. The more I think about this and read everyone's opinions on it, the more I'm happy it turned out the way it did.

Thanks for your input everyone. Surprisingly, she called me today to let me know that she wants to end in good terms. After all that. I didn't appreciate how everything happened so I just said, whatever and hung up. She proceed to then text me "are you ok" 2 hours after. I didn't even answer. Later that night she called me twice but I didn't pick up.

One thing I should have mentioned - this guy who she's with now once came between her and her ex husband (who unfortunately passed away). He's always been after her but she wouldn't give him much of her attention or so it seemed.

Posted by FknNerd
Why dont you understand? She said if you didnt give her what she wanted, she'd replace you so she did. ?? What dont you get? She asked for more commitment and you responded by ignoring her... lol like I'm confused as to why youre confused. Seems pretty cut and dry to me. Let her move on. You both arent a right fit for each other. She sounds like she has a fire venus, and you sound like you have a retarded something venus.

Retarded? Lol.

Or maybe maybe he has a venus or whatever that doesn't respond to silly life changing ultimatums from someone they just met a few months ago!

Posted by Schenker87
Thanks for your input everyone. Surprisingly, she called me today to let me know that she wants to end in good terms. After all that. I didn't appreciate how everything happened so I just said, whatever and hung up. She proceed to then text me "are you ok" 2 hours after. I didn't even answer. Later that night she called me twice but I didn't pick up.

One thing I should have mentioned - this guy who she's with now once came between her and her ex husband (who unfortunately passed away). He's always been after her but she wouldn't give him much of her attention or so it seemed.

She's 23 and a widow? What did he die from? And she caused you to land in hospital?

Jezz.....you had a lucky escape!

But regardless of everything else, how can you love someone, want to start a family with someone and all of a sudden, in only 3 weeks fall for someone else and plan to marry someone else? ?

It seems like she was not really into the OP. Just into the thought of getting married.

Posted by NotSoInstant

Posted by IamAries
But regardless of everything else, how can you love someone, want to start a family with someone and all of a sudden, in only 3 weeks fall for someone else and plan to marry someone else? ?

It seems like she was not really into the OP. Just into the thought of getting married.

Some people behave erratically when hurt.

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Sure. For a moment. Or in the heat of the moment. But then they usually come to their senses. She sounds on a planned mission.

Posted by NotSoInstant

Posted by IamAries
But regardless of everything else, how can you love someone, want to start a family with someone and all of a sudden, in only 3 weeks fall for someone else and plan to marry someone else? ?

It seems like she was not really into the OP. Just into the thought of getting married.

I know girls when they get ditched, they move on by having sex with the first guy they meet with, js.

I believe the OP must love him, wants something substantial than a girlfriend tag.

One thing, I may not approve of her methods, but the girl was honest.

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All good. Go on a night out, get drunk, sleep with someone if that works for you. But if in 3 weeks she is already meeting someone else's family and talking marriage, I would highly suspect love ever existed. Sounds so calculated. The way I see it, ofc.

I even wonder if she was not communicating with the other guy at the same time. 3 weeks. I dont even get my period in 3 weeks and you are already on the way to marry other guy!? ?

Thanks for your thoughts everyone. I understand I didn't give her what she was looking for but I did at several times tell her that I really was looking for stability, a family life and a future together but of course she had (in my personal opinion) quick expectations from the get go. She wanted to meet my family, get me to go to her church, be there for her family (which I did - but she wanted me to call frequently and see how they were doing). My priority was her and her son. Everything else can come slowly after.

I think i did my best but it wasn't enough for her. She wanted me already to live the married life with her after 4-5 months. I wanted that too but personally I feel it's best to let it grow and slowly going into things. No rush. I understand it's best that we're no longer together but what honestly does hurt to know is that someone can just come out of nowhere and within 3 weeks, she's already loving him. I found this out after 3 weeks of no communication between us (We only texted when I sent her son toys for Christmas - so we briefly texted because of that) so she could have already been seeing him right after we broke up.

When we last spoke she blamed me for not really loving her -_- and that if I was real man I would have given her what she wanted. So says the girl who ran off with someone else in less than 3 weeks apart.

Live and Learn!

You snooze you loose.

Posted by FknNerd

Posted by Undine

Posted by FknNerd
Why dont you understand? She said if you didnt give her what she wanted, she'd replace you so she did. ?? What dont you get? She asked for more commitment and you responded by ignoring her... lol like I'm confused as to why youre confused. Seems pretty cut and dry to me. Let her move on. You both arent a right fit for each other. She sounds like she has a fire venus, and you sound like you have a retarded something venus.

Retarded? Lol.

Or maybe maybe he has a venus or whatever that doesn't respond to silly life changing ultimatums from someone they just met a few months ago!

1. This leo venus doesnt get what youre saying. 2. He's throwing a tantrum because she's searching for someone who will. Does she not have the right to be happy? Like, what point are you trying to make. He's retarded because he didnt do what he needed to do to keep what he wants not to mention emotionally dragged someone else through the dirt along the way. Why would you condone that sort of behavior? Lack of empathy.

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He was not dragging her through the dirt, he was dating her, getting to know her, and falling in love with her for only about 6 months.

Posted by Schenker87
Thanks for your thoughts everyone. I understand I didn't give her what she was looking for but I did at several times tell her that I really was looking for stability, a family life and a future together but of course she had (in my personal opinion) quick expectations from the get go. She wanted to meet my family, get me to go to her church, be there for her family (which I did - but she wanted me to call frequently and see how they were doing). My priority was her and her son. Everything else can come slowly after.

I think i did my best but it wasn't enough for her. She wanted me already to live the married life with her after 4-5 months. I wanted that too but personally I feel it's best to let it grow and slowly going into things. No rush. I understand it's best that we're no longer together but what honestly does hurt to know is that someone can just come out of nowhere and within 3 weeks, she's already loving him. I found this out after 3 weeks of no communication between us (We only texted when I sent her son toys for Christmas - so we briefly texted because of that) so she could have already been seeing him right after we broke up.

When we last spoke she blamed me for not really loving her -_- and that if I was real man I would have given her what she wanted. So says the girl who ran off with someone else in less than 3 weeks apart.

Live and Learn!

Well, if this is what hurts you most.....stop hurting. You said she knew this guy and that he was chasing her even before she became a widow! She must have thought of him as a (second?) option, for the whole time. He is not someone she just met after your break up!

Posted by Undine

Posted by Schenker87
Thanks for your thoughts everyone. I understand I didn't give her what she was looking for but I did at several times tell her that I really was looking for stability, a family life and a future together but of course she had (in my personal opinion) quick expectations from the get go. She wanted to meet my family, get me to go to her church, be there for her family (which I did - but she wanted me to call frequently and see how they were doing). My priority was her and her son. Everything else can come slowly after.

I think i did my best but it wasn't enough for her. She wanted me already to live the married life with her after 4-5 months. I wanted that too but personally I feel it's best to let it grow and slowly going into things. No rush. I understand it's best that we're no longer together but what honestly does hurt to know is that someone can just come out of nowhere and within 3 weeks, she's already loving him. I found this out after 3 weeks of no communication between us (We only texted when I sent her son toys for Christmas - so we briefly texted because of that) so she could have already been seeing him right after we broke up.

When we last spoke she blamed me for not really loving her -_- and that if I was real man I would have given her what she wanted. So says the girl who ran off with someone else in less than 3 weeks apart.

Live and Learn!

Well, if this is what hurts you most.....stop hurting. You said she knew this guy and that he was chasing her even before she became a widow! She must have thought of him as a (second?) option, for the whole time. He is not someone she just met after your break up!

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True! I'm slowly getting over it. I've been in longer relationships than this one but this one hurt me the most. Btw: first time dating a Gemini and man do they have a sharp tongue.

Posted by NotSoInstant

Posted by LadyNeptune
You snooze you loose.

I think gem will chase him.....

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I think she wanted to be chased. She wanted him to PROVE that all his pretty words of love and marriage and forever were real. She was starting to doubt him because he wouldn't introduce her to his family. She was loosing faith.

Update:

Since we last spoke and I tried my best to fix our situation calmly (she wasn't having it and kept saying that she wouldn't leave her BF, who does anything for her, for me) I just said that I was disappointed to see her move on so quickly but I wished her the best and that I'll let her be.

She then texted me an hour after asking me if I was still ok. I ignored it (she hates being ignored).

Last night she called me 3 times and afterwards texting me that she wanted to make sure I was ok. I didn't respond.

Today she called me. She called my work and left a fake name but her real number cause I was in a meeting. Soon after she texted me to tell me that she's happy to hear that I was in a meeting cause she then knows I'm ok and that she won't be contacting me anymore.

An hour later she sends me an email saying:

"Are you ok? Why aren't you responding, I didn't stop answering you"

What does this all mean? Is she really trying to be just friendly? She couldn't have been more clear that she didn't want to hear from me so why is it she caring now?

Just asking for your thoughts here.

Posted by FknNerd

Posted by Undine

Posted by FknNerd

Posted by Undine

Posted by FknNerd
Why dont you understand? She said if you didnt give her what she wanted, she'd replace you so she did. ?? What dont you get? She asked for more commitment and you responded by ignoring her... lol like I'm confused as to why youre confused. Seems pretty cut and dry to me. Let her move on. You both arent a right fit for each other. She sounds like she has a fire venus, and you sound like you have a retarded something venus.

Retarded? Lol.

Or maybe maybe he has a venus or whatever that doesn't respond to silly life changing ultimatums from someone they just met a few months ago!

1. This leo venus doesnt get what youre saying. 2. He's throwing a tantrum because she's searching for someone who will. Does she not have the right to be happy? Like, what point are you trying to make. He's retarded because he didnt do what he needed to do to keep what he wants not to mention emotionally dragged someone else through the dirt along the way. Why would you condone that sort of behavior? Lack of empathy.

He was not dragging her through the dirt, he was dating her, getting to know her, and falling in love with her for only about 6 months.

Europe only needed six months to reconstruct itself after world war one ended, and this dude needs more time to figure out how to give this girl what she wants? Please. Youre forgetting the end game. He wanted to be committed to her obviously because he made this thread about getting her back, yet he made none of the steps to show committment. Rather he gave the silent treatment like a 14 year old. If you like being with partners that emotionally neglect you, thats your business and maybe two people like you and him would have a wonderful relationship together, but this gemini isnt like that. And thats who this thread is about.

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Thanks for your input. Keep in mind that she made it clear to me that she didn't want to know anything about me, despite my several attempts to make her realize she might be making a mistake. She also said that I shouldnt be making any effort to ruin her relationship with her bf. She ignored my calls to speak to her, changed her number when only I called her twice to reason with her. After we spoke and I made my last attempt to fix things and she still wasn't keen on even giving me the time and day - I simply wished her the best. Now she's contacting me to make sure I'm ok.

Simply confused and reaching out for people's opinions, that's all, so don't stress yourself in reading the thread if it annoys you that much 🙂

Blimey! That's disgusting to say that she got several men to replace you. You can't trust her with her casual attitude. She is a baby making machine and a bad rap to the rest of the Geminis. It's her lost for not recognising you as her soul mate. And I really appreciate your attitude of being considerate and attached with her kid and your willingness to look after that kido even though she is stupid enough not to understand that. Mate you deserve a better Gemini and there is enough good ones around who is classy and not loud mouth.

Posted by FknNerd

Posted by Schenker87

Posted by FknNerd

Posted by Undine

Posted by FknNerd

Posted by Undine

Posted by FknNerd
Why dont you understand? She said if you didnt give her what she wanted, she'd replace you so she did. ?? What dont you get? She asked for more commitment and you responded by ignoring her... lol like I'm confused as to why youre confused. Seems pretty cut and dry to me. Let her move on. You both arent a right fit for each other. She sounds like she has a fire venus, and you sound like you have a retarded something venus.

Retarded? Lol.

Or maybe maybe he has a venus or whatever that doesn't respond to silly life changing ultimatums from someone they just met a few months ago!

1. This leo venus doesnt get what youre saying. 2. He's throwing a tantrum because she's searching for someone who will. Does she not have the right to be happy? Like, what point are you trying to make. He's retarded because he didnt do what he needed to do to keep what he wants not to mention emotionally dragged someone else through the dirt along the way. Why would you condone that sort of behavior? Lack of empathy.

He was not dragging her through the dirt, he was dating her, getting to know her, and falling in love with her for only about 6 months.

Europe only needed six months to reconstruct itself after world war one ended, and this dude needs more time to figure out how to give this girl what she wants? Please. Youre forgetting the end game. He wanted to be committed to her obviously because he made this thread about getting her back, yet he made none of the steps to show committment. Rather he gave the silent treatment like a 14 year old. If you like being with partners that emotionally neglect you, thats your business and maybe two people like you and him would have a wonderful relationship together, but this gemini isnt like that. And thats who this thread is about.

Thanks for your input. Keep in mind that she made it clear to me that she didn't want to know anything about me, despite my several attempts to make her realize she might be making a mistake. She also said that I shouldnt be making any effort to ruin her relationship with her bf. She ignored my calls to speak to her, changed her number when only I called her twice to reason with her. After we spoke and I made my last attempt to fix things and she still wasn't keen on even giving me the time and day - I simply wished her the best. Now she's contacting me to make sure I'm ok.

Simply confused and reaching out for people's opinions, that's all, so don't stress yourself in reading the thread if it annoys you that much 🙂

She's just trying to get over you, and its hard for her because she has real feelings for you.

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There are people who often act contrary to their feelings for the opposite sex, indeed. They are called teenagers.

Or wait...not any longer......it's the smaller children these days. The 6 year olds pulling the hair of their crush 😛

You underage....? That would explain some of your delusions!

Posted by NotSoInstant

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by NotSoInstant

Posted by LadyNeptune
You snooze you loose.

I think gem will chase him.....

I think she wanted to be chased. She wanted him to PROVE that all his pretty words of love and marriage and forever were real. She was starting to doubt him because he wouldn't introduce her to his family. She was loosing faith.

Very true....

The problem is OP is not realising that and is following advice from non Geminis.

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Thanks but I did try. After she broke the news to me I called her several times (was ignored most of those times) but when I finally would get through she would make it clear that in no way was she coming back to me. She even changed her number once she made it clear that she didn't want me calling her otherwise it would ruin what she has with her bf now.

I really did try a lot to get her to reconsider her decision but after insults and telling me to find someone else and leave her alone now all of a sudden she wants to get ahold of me? Days after all this. She's calling me, texting me and even emailing me to make sure I'm ok but the inside me tells me to ignore her - mainly cause after she insults me and finds someone so quickly to replace me, why should I bother?

It seems odd. What's the purpose? I personally feel like she wants to have the upper hand and have me close in case something doesn't work out with her new bf.

Geminis: what is she trying to accomplish?

Posted by NotSoInstant
I might be wrong but she might chase you. And chase you hard. Lol

Geminis

Smh

Thanks for all your help 🙂

We'll see what happens.

Posted by NotSoInstant

Posted by Schenker87

Posted by NotSoInstant

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by NotSoInstant

Posted by LadyNeptune
You snooze you loose.

I think gem will chase him.....

I think she wanted to be chased. She wanted him to PROVE that all his pretty words of love and marriage and forever were real. She was starting to doubt him because he wouldn't introduce her to his family. She was loosing faith.

Very true....

The problem is OP is not realising that and is following advice from non Geminis.

Thanks but I did try. After she broke the news to me I called her several times (was ignored most of those times) but when I finally would get through she would make it clear that in no way was she coming back to me. She even changed her number once she made it clear that she didn't want me calling her otherwise it would ruin what she has with her bf now.

I really did try a lot to get her to reconsider her decision but after insults and telling me to find someone else and leave her alone now all of a sudden she wants to get ahold of me? Days after all this. She's calling me, texting me and even emailing me to make sure I'm ok. It seems odd. What's the purpose? I personally feel like she wants to have the upper hand and have me close in case something doesn't work out with her new bf.

Geminis: what is she trying to accomplish?

I agree you tried. A lot. And she must have realised it now.

The new bf is a ruse. Like you said he was there all the time and that could be a reason why she picked him and not someone new. Maybe when you guys were together, she mentioned to you that she doesn't feel anything for him?

I think she loves you but must have been very angry that she didn't get to meet your family.

She lost her husband, right? Maybe she feels she might lose you too unless there is something concrete and grounded.

As a Gemini,we are very open with our trust

And expect to be treated the way we treat them.

As a person, if I invite you to meet my family and my baby, that's hug!. I would expect the same courtesy to be extended to me from the other person. She did try to communicate that to you but you weren't keen on introducing her to your family. You must have your reasons and that has made her insecure. Now she has hurt you and herself. She sounds immature and a lot like Venus in Aries/Sun in Gemini girls I know irl. They can be impulsive and passionate. Wild and reckless. But when they commit, they commit hard.

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She did tell me before he was a friend and that he had always been chasing after her but she paid him no mind. Not sure if that was true. I will say that after her husband had passed away (in a tragic accident) we started talking about a year and half after it had happened.

Right after and even before I came into the picture (after her husband had passed away) he had tried to get with her but she never went for it.

I know she was very annoyed that she couldn't meet my family but I didnt want to feel pressured either. My family is very old traditional. However, they did know about her and I did have plans to get them to meet her and the baby.

Posted by Schenker87
Hi All,

Just joined this very interesting forum to see if anyone could kindly give me their opinion on my situation. Until just recently I was dating this beautiful Gemini woman for a year. She's 23 and a single mom and I'm 28. The baby's father is not involved whatsoever and this has been my only experience dating a woman with a child. We had great chemistry and for the first 6 months it was amazing. We both knew we wanted to marry each other and we really displayed our love. We promised each other we've never leave one another and we'll overcome any problems that lie ahead.

Unfortunately, we began to have to some problems that would result in several heated arguments. Arguments that would leave us from not speaking for a few days. These arguments would either be caused by her feeling not appreciated enough (even though I really did my best) her wanting to start a family soon, to jealousy and to her getting mad that I still wouldn't present her to my family after 6 months of dating. Throughout some of these arguments she would easily express that there's several other men out there who would treat her much better and that she would easily replace me. Our arguments would get very heated but I would honestly say that I would always remain the most calm, while she would proceed with name calling, threats, etc. Each argument had one or the other returning to later apologize and patch things up.

Anyways, right before Christmas we had a huge fight but within days I tried to patch things up but this time it felt very awkward. We met for lunch but I realized that she was very cold. She would not say "i love you" back to me or even kiss me like how she would usually. There was no passion. The following day she simply texted me to tell me that she was done with everything and that she had been talking to someone else. I was truly shocked.

I proceeded to just ignore her messages and decided to back off and see what she would later say. She then texted me that she hadn't been speaking to anyone but that she wanted me to just stop looking for her. I ignored it and decided to just give her space. After 3 weeks, I decided to reach out to her and was eager to make us work, until, she then tells me that she's already with someone and loves him very much. I was shocked beyond belief. Was she speaking to someone behind my back all this time? I would call her again but she wouldn't tell me anything and would just hang up. Two days later I went to go see her personally at her home to see if we could talk. Her mother greeted me and seemed uncomfortable seeing me there. She did confirm she's been seeing someone (someone she used to see briefly before - who this guy was obsessed with her) and that evening, she had gone to his families household to be introduced to his parents, since they have been talking about marriage. I could not believe it what her mom was telling me. I sat there in disbelief. It's only been 3 weeks and she already was with someone and was considering marriage? I left and asked her mom to please have her call me.

When she called later that evening, I saw a whole different side of her. She was screaming, cursing, telling me to back off and never to go look for her again. Telling me that this is what I deserved for not appreciating her enough. I tried to reason with her but it didn't go anywhere. She changed her number and demanded that I don't mess things up with her new boyfriend. Her mom even texted me to tell me to just look for someone else as she didn't want any problems at home. I backed off. Confused and disappointed. No matter what has happened before, we were always at each other's arms at the end of the day. This time it was like she was a whole different person. I never reached out to her again but realized that one night she called me from a blocked number (she would do this frequently so I knew it was her) but I wasn't around on my phone. The next day I was having some chest pains and second later i fainted. My family took me to the hospital and had to stay for the night while my heart would get checked. There I proceeded to write her an email to reminisce the times we've had, the accomplishments we've made together and ask her to think through her decision. A day later she called me (blocked so I wouldn't have a way to contact her) and we spoke about my stay at the hospital. Throughout the conversation she brought up the letter but she made it clear that she's going to remain loyal to her new boyfriend and this would be the last time I hear from her. I accepted it.

It still confuses me as to what happened and have been debating whether we'd ever be together again, especially considering the tough times we've had in the past and the effort we've always managed to put in before.

I've decided to back off entirely but I sure do miss what we had.

Any thoughts? Suggestions? Obviously, I'd like to get back together but...how?

Btw: I've had great gfs before and I've never had problems getting girls but this one is different.

OK so you dated and didn't introduce her to your family after 6 months.

Was she not worth introducing?

Since you didn't she probably thought you didn't think much of her.

she thought he's not taking me serious I'm out.

Why waste time with this bozo when I have someone else who actually feels passion for me.

I don't think people quite understand that it takes a looong time for Gemini to get over a heart break but when that time comes, there's no going back.

There appears to not be any description in where you talk about how you fucked this up .... yet, there is a lot of talk about how wrong she did.

As if it only takes one to tango.

I read all the thread, but, really didn't need to ... in the OP you described yourself as great to be around. Even during "heated" arguments, you say you were calm.

which of course is utter bullshit .... when people are in a "heated" argument, they are the opposite of calm.

You don't seem to hold yourself responsible for your wrong doings .... you only address how she is fucked up.



that, in itself, makes you a tosser .. NOT a keeper



I think her priorities are greatly fucked up, according to what you wrote ... but, then again, since you have embellished and twisted the reality of truth here, your words aren't valid. If you had portrayed yourself as being equally responsible for the demise of the relationship ... only then could you be taken seriously.

This woman was broody and ready to pop some more, with the best provider she could get. It didn't work with this one....next! Of course she was pissed off....since she didn't get her way, and not because she cared about him! She treated him like disposable goods.

Building a relationship first, to see if they are compatible, as most people do...? Was this her plan? NO! She did not care about their relationship ! She had nothing to lose if things didn't work out, a hefty monthly pay check would have been good enough. It's funny how he was still considering taking her back...just lol!

Men who get themselves in such situations should not cry later, when losing everything and are left to cover the costs for the next two decades!

To Shenker: before you get yourself into a new relationship, make sure you ask the right questions, and find out what she wants, and also....what you want! Because people want different things with different people.

Thanks for your input everyone. Moving on it is!

I just saw pictures of them both on social media and as much as it hurts, it's best it didn't work out.

Live and Learn! 🙂

I don't understand some replies on here. She is the problem not him. No one is perfect, but that woman wants control of everything. a Man slave....That's not a relationship. If you really love someone you give them the time they need. replace him like he is a piece of property? Okay then, if that's how you love then you don't know what love is.

That woman is looking for $ $ $ nothing else. Get married have kids, divorce and cash in. That is it. She is a con artist. Move on. She is trying to manipulate you, and it is failing hard. That is why she is asking if you're okay, because she knows it's not working. So now she is trying to appeal to your emotions.

I bet you if you tell her your fine. She will start talking to you like everything is okay, and start pulling on your heart strings. Anyone wanna place bets?

It's really sad for the child though. 😢

Posted by nikkistar
Oh man, having been married to a Gemini for 12 years...

Let it go. Your relationships sounds hyper dramatic, and toxic. My ex husband was amazing in the beginning. As soon as he got hurt, he went on the rampage. He would hit low and hard. It didn't stop. And he had zero qualms about his actions and words. It took him about 4 years after making a mistake, to actually apologize for it and not blame me solely for his own actions. They can be vicious once provoked.

But if they are done, they tend to be done.

Men Gemini and woman Gemini are different species! Totally.

And you are the best thing since sliced bread so...you have no place to speak because you haven't dealt with Gemini woman...well, except me. Lol

Posted by aquarius_beauty
I have a Gemini moon and I can see what she's doing and what she did.

One, she's an immature Gemini. A mature and stable Gemini would never behave that way (unless of course you're omitting important details about your behavior).

Second, you saw her for who she is. That different side of her is that other twin. Geminis have dual personalities in one. Some people call them psychotic, bipolar, hypocrites... I call them the sweet and sour patches. Ever seen the commercials? Yup that's them.

Third, you need to move on. This girl was hurt by your reluctance to do as she wanted. So she sought out in a way vengeance and at the same time another guy. So now she's doing what she wants to do. Geminis habe control issues.

And if any Gemini says he doesn't then they're in denial. My father, my friends mom, and my ex Leos mom... Geminis...even my daughter Gemini and my moon in Gemini all point to one truth. Geminis are controlling AF. They don't get their way they throw a tantrum and their dark personality shows.

What sign r u btw?

It always gets me!

She is immature Gemini and I am

Aquarius-beauty!!! How friggim mature is THAT—

Darn! Beauty!!!

My ass...

Posted by nikkistar
On a completely different side note, I really think people are way too lax using the word love.

How the hell anyone can love someone else in a matter of months is beyond me.

Easy! It's beyond your perfect brain understanding.

it happens all the time! Outcome is unpredictable but love comes from above.

Not 'be my baby father' love. Though it might also happen! But trying to explain it is dumb. You have to have it and live it and suffer it. That's when it called sweet torture!

Posted by spur
I don't understand some replies on here. She is the problem not him. No one is perfect, but that woman wants control of everything. a Man slave....That's not a relationship. If you really love someone you give them the time they need. replace him like he is a piece of property? Okay then, if that's how you love then you don't know what love is.

That woman is looking for $ $ $ nothing else. Get married have kids, divorce and cash in. That is it. She is a con artist. Move on. She is trying to manipulate you, and it is failing hard. That is why she is asking if you're okay, because she knows it's not working. So now she is trying to appeal to your emotions.

I bet you if you tell her your fine. She will start talking to you like everything is okay, and start pulling on your heart strings. Anyone wanna place bets?

It's really sad for the child though. 😢

That's exactly how I've seen it. What's your sign, Spur?

Posted by Undine

Posted by spur
I don't understand some replies on here. She is the problem not him. No one is perfect, but that woman wants control of everything. a Man slave....That's not a relationship. If you really love someone you give them the time they need. replace him like he is a piece of property? Okay then, if that's how you love then you don't know what love is.

That woman is looking for $ $ $ nothing else. Get married have kids, divorce and cash in. That is it. She is a con artist. Move on. She is trying to manipulate you, and it is failing hard. That is why she is asking if you're okay, because she knows it's not working. So now she is trying to appeal to your emotions.

I bet you if you tell her your fine. She will start talking to you like everything is okay, and start pulling on your heart strings. Anyone wanna place bets?

It's really sad for the child though. 😢

That's exactly how I've seen it. What's your sign, Spur?

click to expand

Aries, and if I was younger. I would have played along just to see how far she would go. Then after awhile drop then "well that's really too bad. I've moved on, but I wish you the best with your new boyfriend" I really feel sorry for the "new" boyfriend, he doesn't know hw is being used like a piece of trash. I just suggest being mature though and do what you're doing and walk away.

Posted by spur

Posted by Undine

Posted by spur
I don't understand some replies on here. She is the problem not him. No one is perfect, but that woman wants control of everything. a Man slave....That's not a relationship. If you really love someone you give them the time they need. replace him like he is a piece of property? Okay then, if that's how you love then you don't know what love is.

That woman is looking for $ $ $ nothing else. Get married have kids, divorce and cash in. That is it. She is a con artist. Move on. She is trying to manipulate you, and it is failing hard. That is why she is asking if you're okay, because she knows it's not working. So now she is trying to appeal to your emotions.

I bet you if you tell her your fine. She will start talking to you like everything is okay, and start pulling on your heart strings. Anyone wanna place bets?

It's really sad for the child though. 😢

That's exactly how I've seen it. What's your sign, Spur?

Aries

click to expand

Any Pisces or Aqua placements?

Posted by Schenker87
Thanks guys. I will say that I really did my best to try to be there for both the baby (2 year old) and her but she would really become annoyed that I wouldn't introduce her to my family quick enough. My family is very traditional so I did advise her that it would take some time before I do so.

I should mention so quick facts:

I do have a great job (making close to six figures), Women do find me attractive (trying to remain humble here) and I'm generally a very driven guy. I even persuade her to go back to school and seek a better life. Helping her get a better job even. We did have our communication issues but otherwise it was really good. The other guy, I will say, has been pursuing her for years but she wouldn't really give him much time. Not sure what exactly is the history only that they're now together.

A lot of women of all signs are trying to better their lives by hooking a man with money. It seems ok at the beginning but as relationship progress - I am speaking now as. Gemini - it doesn't sit well. We try to fight it and say 'it'll work'...but feelings are not coming! They are just not there.

And then ( single mom or not) - we are getting irritable and impatient and cruel and hateful! Get out please! I don't care about your money. Looks. Nothing! Just be gone! Don't bring me a ring because you suffocating me because I don't love you!

And mind you I had tried to be nice.

You dismissed it. NOW I dismiss your hurt and I say - jump in the lake at a deepest spot!

What's so hard to understand when I said NO—

But if you are going to be lucky enough to be loved by Gemini woman - you will die happy! It works both ways with same passion! Good luck on your search and remember no means no.

Posted by Undine

Posted by spur

Posted by Undine

Posted by spur
I don't understand some replies on here. She is the problem not him. No one is perfect, but that woman wants control of everything. a Man slave....That's not a relationship. If you really love someone you give them the time they need. replace him like he is a piece of property? Okay then, if that's how you love then you don't know what love is.

That woman is looking for $ $ $ nothing else. Get married have kids, divorce and cash in. That is it. She is a con artist. Move on. She is trying to manipulate you, and it is failing hard. That is why she is asking if you're okay, because she knows it's not working. So now she is trying to appeal to your emotions.

I bet you if you tell her your fine. She will start talking to you like everything is okay, and start pulling on your heart strings. Anyone wanna place bets?

It's really sad for the child though. 😢

That's exactly how I've seen it. What's your sign, Spur?

Aries

Any Pisces or Aqua placements?

click to expand

My Moon is in Aqua, and my Rising is Gemini.

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Schenker87
Thanks guys. I will say that I really did my best to try to be there for both the baby (2 year old) and her but she would really become annoyed that I wouldn't introduce her to my family quick enough. My family is very traditional so I did advise her that it would take some time before I do so.

I should mention so quick facts:

I do have a great job (making close to six figures), Women do find me attractive (trying to remain humble here) and I'm generally a very driven guy. I even persuade her to go back to school and seek a better life. Helping her get a better job even. We did have our communication issues but otherwise it was really good. The other guy, I will say, has been pursuing her for years but she wouldn't really give him much time. Not sure what exactly is the history only that they're now together.

A lot of women of all signs are trying to better their lives by hooking a man with money. It seems ok at the beginning but as relationship progress - I am speaking now as. Gemini - it doesn't sit well. We try to fight it and say 'it'll work'...but feelings are not coming! They are just not there.

And then ( single mom or not) - we are getting irritable and impatient and cruel and hateful! Get out please! I don't care about your money. Looks. Nothing! Just be gone! Don't bring me a ring because you suffocating me because I don't love you!

And mind you I had tried to be nice.

You dismissed it. NOW I dismiss your hurt and I say - jump in the lake at a deepest spot!

What's so hard to understand when I said NO—

But if you are going to be lucky enough to be loved by Gemini woman - you will die happy! It works both ways with same passion! Good luck on your search and remember no means no.

click to expand

That is actually quite insightful 😎

Posted by Undine

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Schenker87
Thanks guys. I will say that I really did my best to try to be there for both the baby (2 year old) and her but she would really become annoyed that I wouldn't introduce her to my family quick enough. My family is very traditional so I did advise her that it would take some time before I do so.

I should mention so quick facts:

I do have a great job (making close to six figures), Women do find me attractive (trying to remain humble here) and I'm generally a very driven guy. I even persuade her to go back to school and seek a better life. Helping her get a better job even. We did have our communication issues but otherwise it was really good. The other guy, I will say, has been pursuing her for years but she wouldn't really give him much time. Not sure what exactly is the history only that they're now together.

A lot of women of all signs are trying to better their lives by hooking a man with money. It seems ok at the beginning but as relationship progress - I am speaking now as. Gemini - it doesn't sit well. We try to fight it and say 'it'll work'...but feelings are not coming! They are just not there.

And then ( single mom or not) - we are getting irritable and impatient and cruel and hateful! Get out please! I don't care about your money. Looks. Nothing! Just be gone! Don't bring me a ring because you suffocating me because I don't love you!

And mind you I had tried to be nice.

You dismissed it. NOW I dismiss your hurt and I say - jump in the lake at a deepest spot!

What's so hard to understand when I said NO—

But if you are going to be lucky enough to be loved by Gemini woman - you will die happy! It works both ways with same passion! Good luck on your search and remember no means no.

That is actually quite insightful 😎

click to expand

Let's write book together...

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Undine

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Schenker87
Thanks guys. I will say that I really did my best to try to be there for both the baby (2 year old) and her but she would really become annoyed that I wouldn't introduce her to my family quick enough. My family is very traditional so I did advise her that it would take some time before I do so.

I should mention so quick facts:

I do have a great job (making close to six figures), Women do find me attractive (trying to remain humble here) and I'm generally a very driven guy. I even persuade her to go back to school and seek a better life. Helping her get a better job even. We did have our communication issues but otherwise it was really good. The other guy, I will say, has been pursuing her for years but she wouldn't really give him much time. Not sure what exactly is the history only that they're now together.

A lot of women of all signs are trying to better their lives by hooking a man with money. It seems ok at the beginning but as relationship progress - I am speaking now as. Gemini - it doesn't sit well. We try to fight it and say 'it'll work'...but feelings are not coming! They are just not there.

And then ( single mom or not) - we are getting irritable and impatient and cruel and hateful! Get out please! I don't care about your money. Looks. Nothing! Just be gone! Don't bring me a ring because you suffocating me because I don't love you!

And mind you I had tried to be nice.

You dismissed it. NOW I dismiss your hurt and I say - jump in the lake at a deepest spot!

What's so hard to understand when I said NO—

But if you are going to be lucky enough to be loved by Gemini woman - you will die happy! It works both ways with same passion! Good luck on your search and remember no means no.

That is actually quite insightful 😎

Let's write book together...

click to expand

Hehe!

Posted by Schenker87
Thanks for your input everyone. Surprisingly, she called me today to let me know that she wants to end in good terms. After all that. I didn't appreciate how everything happened so I just said, whatever and hung up. She proceed to then text me "are you ok" 2 hours after. I didn't even answer. Later that night she called me twice but I didn't pick up.

One thing I should have mentioned - this guy who she's with now once came between her and her ex husband (who unfortunately passed away). He's always been after her but she wouldn't give him much of her attention or so it seemed.

Eye opener for you.

Something isn't sitting well now with the lover boy. He is probably gone. She had lost her 'stability' and has no men!

Horror!

She is looking for the one who seems easier to get or texting everyone on the list to get SOMEONE! ANYONE!

At this point her life seems so boring that she will take anyone in.

Warning! Temporary until something else will appear from somewhere that is better in sex or richer with money.

I am not proud of to open this about my own sign but those of us women Gemini who have half-a-brain know that this is our ugly side and trying to hide it, fight it and work on it!

Those who were denied intelligence at birth - they just panic and make fools of themselves by acting like your ex.

Stupid Gemini woman is nuisance and danger! Stay away and light up a candle in church so this fade will pass you and try to make your future right.

She can destroy you. Please stay away!

Posted by Undine

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Undine

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by Schenker87
Thanks guys. I will say that I really did my best to try to be there for both the baby (2 year old) and her but she would really become annoyed that I wouldn't introduce her to my family quick enough. My family is very traditional so I did advise her that it would take some time before I do so.

I should mention so quick facts:

I do have a great job (making close to six figures), Women do find me attractive (trying to remain humble here) and I'm generally a very driven guy. I even persuade her to go back to school and seek a better life. Helping her get a better job even. We did have our communication issues but otherwise it was really good. The other guy, I will say, has been pursuing her for years but she wouldn't really give him much time. Not sure what exactly is the history only that they're now together.

A lot of women of all signs are trying to better their lives by hooking a man with money. It seems ok at the beginning but as relationship progress - I am speaking now as. Gemini - it doesn't sit well. We try to fight it and say 'it'll work'...but feelings are not coming! They are just not there.

And then ( single mom or not) - we are getting irritable and impatient and cruel and hateful! Get out please! I don't care about your money. Looks. Nothing! Just be gone! Don't bring me a ring because you suffocating me because I don't love you!

And mind you I had tried to be nice.

You dismissed it. NOW I dismiss your hurt and I say - jump in the lake at a deepest spot!

What's so hard to understand when I said NO—

But if you are going to be lucky enough to be loved by Gemini woman - you will die happy! It works both ways with same passion! Good luck on your search and remember no means no.

That is actually quite insightful 😎

Let's write book together...

Hehe!

click to expand

It was a serious suggestion btw.