heartbroken over gemini male... need advice

So. I have this Gemini, male, gay friend who is 25 years old. I am Leo, straight, 26 year old female. We've been friends for over a year. But this past summer we got into a huge argument.

My friend came to visit me in the summer and conveyed some pretty depressing news about herself which needed to remain a secret. I was totally bummed and told the Gemini. When I introduced them two he starts with bringing the subject matter up in an indirect manner but very obvious that I had told him. It was fault for telling him. I realize that. I stopped talking to him for about two months. During those two months I got the usual texts calling me names and him playing the victim card and all this other nonsense.

Last month, I decided to hear him out in person after getting a genuine apologetic voicemail. I decided to hang with him again but started to kind of feel that he was being a total phony and remembering what he did. So I distanced myself from him.

This past weekend I was out of town and so was my roommate. Which he was made aware of. He came to my apartment (he has a copy of my keys) to make a phone call behind my back. I called him to get out of my apartment while I am not there. He writes these irrational defensive texts and tells me im crazy for not trusting him and all this other crap about how absurd of me to hang up the phone.

I dont know what to do. Do I just get rid of this fellow? He is making me look like a damn fool. I reaallllllly miss him. I feel so lonely but he is being such a jackass and a jerk to me. Help I need some advice.

So. You broke a friend's trust and told another friend. He thought he could "help" and said something indirectly to her. You get upset with him for doing that. For trying to help. Then, you give him the silent treatment.... He gets angry and responds inappropriately.

In other words, YOU broke your friend's trust and you're punishing him for trying to help? It all started with you breaking your friend's trust. None of this would have happened if you didn't say anything.

I understand that things weigh us down and we need another's perspective... But, I also understand that some things need to be given attention and helped. Depending on the severity of the situation.

So, why are you treating him badly for something you started? Why is it ok for you to break one friend's trust, but it's not ok for him.....?

Here is what I see the issue as; Yes, he was inappropriate for mentioning something you trusted him with. If it was a serious issue about your friend he should have kept his mouth shut. Then you did the silent treatment (never goes over well with a Gem) and you Leo's get quite prideful when your angry about something. But I know you can have a temper when pushed so I can completely understand why, still the silent treatment is stupid. What you should have done was be quick to address it but in a calm manner. Yell at him like a child and he's going to think your just batshit crazy and not bother listening to what the problem is and he will just dismiss you. It takes two to feud, I'm not going to tell you to write him off, but I think you need to use a more realistic approach knowing the way he is. If you have been friends with him for a while now then certainly you ought to know than to just completely shut him off. You will only piss him off doing that and I can tell you from experience, with it having been done to me, I will only try for so long to reach you. Give me the silent game and I will conclude you are done with me and I might be mad about it at first, but not for very long because I know there is better out there for me if you don't think I'm good enough to be my friend and willing to work out a disagreement. Friends who have done that to me over the years, well let's just say I am no longer as "friendly" with them. I have the yeah whatever attitude when they try to reach me, half the time ignoring them because in that time they ignored me I have concluded they really don't value me as a good friend otherwise they wouldn't ignore me like that. Ignoring a Gemini is a no-no and it will back fire. It's a no win situation and if you love him as your friend I would suggest making up your mind fairly quick.

Posted by misslissa
So. You broke a friend's trust and told another friend. He thought he could "help" and said something indirectly to her. You get upset with him for doing that. For trying to help. Then, you give him the silent treatment.... He gets angry and responds inappropriately.

In other words, YOU broke your friend's trust and you're punishing him for trying to help? It all started with you breaking your friend's trust. None of this would have happened if you didn't say anything.

I understand that things weigh us down and we need another's perspective... But, I also understand that some things need to be given attention and helped. Depending on the severity of the situation.

So, why are you treating him badly for something you started? Why is it ok for you to break one friend's trust, but it's not ok for him.....?

Yur right. My fault. However, he was not trying to "help" - he was being manipulative and kind of bullying my friend to get her to say this secret herself in very obvious way. I am the reason why this happened...it jus sucks to figure out that He does not really give a shit and the reason I am treating him badly because the trust is gone

I agree with gemguyaz34,
When you give a gem the silent treatment don't expect things to go back to the way they were, its not gonna happen, if your first reaction over something we do and bothers you is to ignore us or remove us from your life, then we conclude on you not being a true nor deep friend, so why bother with you again? so yeah, the jerk and jackass will come forward and take control.
It wasn't cool at all what he did, but it was worst from your end, why would you tell anyone else something that was entrusted to you alone?? Also, why do leos do that? when you get all mad and buthurt you run? that silent treatment is nothing more than a tantrum.... instead of fixing the situation it just make it worst, and then you think that the other person is the one who is wrong. If you really care for him and want to try and save what little remains of your friendship, lose that leo pride, impulsiveness and childish ways and sit with him and address the topic like grown ups, a gem can take it and will openly talk about what he did, why he did it, and will apologize sincerely.

Posted by SewerRat89

Posted by misslissa
So. You broke a friend's trust and told another friend. He thought he could "help" and said something indirectly to her. You get upset with him for doing that. For trying to help. Then, you give him the silent treatment.... He gets angry and responds inappropriately.

In other words, YOU broke your friend's trust and you're punishing him for trying to help? It all started with you breaking your friend's trust. None of this would have happened if you didn't say anything.

I understand that things weigh us down and we need another's perspective... But, I also understand that some things need to be given attention and helped. Depending on the severity of the situation.

So, why are you treating him badly for something you started? Why is it ok for you to break one friend's trust, but it's not ok for him.....?

Yur right. My fault. However, he was not trying to "help" - he was being manipulative and kind of bullying my friend to get her to say this secret herself in very obvious way. I am the reason why this happened...it jus sucks to figure out that He does not really give a shit and the reason I am treating him badly because the trust is gone

click to expand

And, you broke the trust of your other friend. Period. The end.

I don't think you have the right to judge, nor punish, your gem friend.

But, that's my opinion. *shrugs*

Don't waste ur time on Geminis leo. Stick to your guns. You said the trust is gone. Nothing more now if there is no trust. Geminis do shit and then expect everyone to be okay with it. Well there's one sign that won't budge and that's a leo. We don't put up with crap. Just let the gem go

Geminis are very manipulative. Atleast they try to be and they kinda suck at it cause they don't remember what they say cause they're always lying! They always always play the victim

Okay. Yes! I realize that it is my fault. But aren't I allowed to vent to someone who promised me that they werent going to say anything. I mean what the shit? And the victim crap? Come on! I have obviously learned my lesson but I have been friend to this guy.

But aren't I allowed to vent to someone who promised me that they werent going to say anything. I mean what the shit? And the victim crap?

..........pot meet kettle

If someone was to tell me a secret then I have enough common sense to not go off and tell the other person. Everyone talks and sometime we need to vent. Geminis would know since all they do is talk. But according to them it's your fault. The only thing you did wrong was trust in him.

Posted by MoonshineLeo
If someone was to tell me a secret then I have enough common sense to not go off and tell the other person. Everyone talks and sometime we need to vent. Geminis would know since all they do is talk. But according to them it's your fault. The only thing you did wrong was trust in him.

That's not entirely true and we really don't have enough information to make that sort of judgement in this situation. It could have been something she told him and maybe he thought he could help her friend, not intending to hurt anyone.

Miss Lisa mentioned it first reply....

You should have kept your mouth shut OP to begin with...you have loose boundaries....hence the B&E while you and your roommate where away.....Juveniles......