posted on virgo board also.....fyi

I am up, I am down, I am confused, yet I am found. Virgo, he is the most wonderful person in the world to me, he occupies my every thought, I have tears of joy, tears of rain, that come from much pain.
Been here on and off, been up and down, been in and out, push pull typical description. Words do not match actions w/this Virgo. Reality, I am not getting what I want, he is, and this does not work for me. Thus no matter how much, how deeply I love this man, he is not on the same page I am. Thus, nothing wrong, just not getting what I want from the relationship, my needs are not being met. I will not sacrifice what I need, for what he wants, even if it is all good. Hard hard hard to realize and see, swallow, even worse, harder to act upon, and still do me, be me, be the one he can confide in, trust, depend on to vent and know he is safe. Oh boy, talk about wear ya down and out, hurt beyond reason and enough to make you want to curl up in a ball and not get outta bed. But because this is who I want to be, who I really am, minus the pain of love of a broken heart, due to my own choices. Man its hard to do what I see as the right thing, I sent him a "dear john" email weeks ago.................Its not easy being me, I am not sure its really easy being him. Dy, I wish I could take a journey through his mind, and he through mine. When I reared up and stood up for myself, he had no real tolerance for it. He has apologized, right along w/expressing how I can not be harsh.........well, that was mild for me really. I have to be me, I am a strong, independent, ambitious, aggressive woman. I am no door mat, except for him.

July til now................its been a great time, I would not have missed it for the world, I could have missed the pain.

I have lurked here for sometime, but mostly dealing w/the relationship at hand and playing cards as life was dealing them, new job, lots going on w/my mom still, and finally done with all the damn holidays! Hello my Gem friends, I missed yall!

hi PGA. welcome back! 🙂

i'm sorry you're going through a rough patch. hopefully, all will be better soon.

Posted by misslissa
hi PGA. welcome back! 🙂

i'm sorry you're going through a rough patch. hopefully, all will be better soon.

Thanks, and I been round, will b around, just doing some "me" time again, taking a break and some time to reflect, we have been through so much, he and I.
He is in a bad place right now, and I will still be here to "support" him, but taking some distance, step by step. I heard from him yesterday, just made me cry..............my mom had a really rough day yesterday, she cried all day too, I think it was just a good day for the two of us to release in that manner, ya know? LOL 🙂

i know exactly what you mean. i've been having "release" sessions lately. but, it is a must to keep the soul healthy. 🙂

Posted by misslissa
i know exactly what you mean. i've been having "release" sessions lately. but, it is a must to keep the soul healthy. 🙂

Aint it the truth though!

I wish we could do w/out those sessions LOL they are not part of my plan to live life in the FUN ZONE! 😛 LMAO