ARoarLikeThunder's Girlfriend Application

The following is an official application for the position of ARoarLikeThunder's girlfriend.
Failure to complete the entire form results in the form being negated as "void" and the applicant will not be considered.
Some questions require a written response, some are multiple choice, and some ask the applicant to rank themselves on a scale from 1-5. 1 being poor, 5 being fudging boss-some. At the end, the applicant will sign her name and the form will be deemed "eligible". Let's begin.

1) Where do you see yourself spending the most time?
(a) the kitchen
(b) the kitchen
(c) the kitchen
(d) the bedroom
(e) all of the above

2) What kind of music do you listen to most?
(a) country
(b) whatever's on my radio
(c) shitty modern grunge where all vocalists crapily try to resemble Kurt Cobain and all the guitar riffs are simple, repetitive, and despite the previous two, not very catchy
(d) Lady Gaga
(e) good music

3) In the case of a zombie apocalypse, my weapon and transportation of choice would be:
(a) mace; bicycle
(b) crow bar; honda civic
(c) dessert eagle; hummer
(d) a tank armed to the teeth and full of pre-made sandwiches for your man

4) On a scale of 1-5, how good are you at making sandwiches? (1)(2)(3)(4)(5)

5) On a scale of 1-5, how good are you at massages? (1)(2)(3)(4)(5)

6) On a scale of 1-5, how hard can you party? (1)(2)(3)(4)(5)

7) A perfect world would be a place where ______________________________________________.

8) The best movies of all time are _____________________________________________________.

9) My interest and hobbies include _____________________________________________________.

10) The types of sandwiches I can make are _____________________________________________.

Good. You're done. Sign here. X_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Your application will be processed and we will get back to you shortly.

*this is a joke. the misogynistic questions are a satire and not to be taken literally. this form in no way reflects the views and opinions of ARLT. Hope you laughed. 🙂