Signs when they stub their toe Aries: *LOUD CURSING AND SWEARING AND SMACKING AND BANGING THE TABLE THEY STUBBED THEIR TOE ON* Taurus: Sit down and hold their toe while tearing Gemini: Jump around on the other foot, grabbing their injured toeβ¦
I love these little bits in newspapers! :D ...share your favourites or ones you see in your newspapers today!β¦
Ok. I was talking about the zodiac signs to my mother, just kinda comparing traits i guess and anyway, I explained that the typical traits of a Pisces was usually they prefer to be around animals vs humans because animals tend not to disappoint them asβ¦
ARIES: Just one. Wanna make something of it? TAURUS: Well, I prefer natural light if at all possible. Are you absolutely positive that lightbulb is burned out? I hate to throw it away if it still might be useful. GEMINI: Probably one is best,β¦
Thought we could put here every astrology joke we know..or humorousβ¦
Has anyone ever tried kinetic sand? It looks so amazing to play with; I want some! ^.^β¦
Husband: Oh, come on. Wife: Leave me alone! Husband: It won't take long. Wife: I won't be able to sleepβ¦
Late one night a man is driving down the road, speeding quite a bit. A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over. The cop says to the man, "Are you aware of how fast you were going?"
The man replies, "Yes I am. I'm trying to escape a robbery I got involved in."
The cop gives him a skeptical look and says, "Were you the one being robbed?"
The man casually replies, "No, I committed the robbery."
The cop looks shocked that the man admitted this. "So you're telling me you were speeding...AND committed a robbery?"
"Yes," the man calmly says. "I have the loot in the back."
The cop begins to get angry. "Sir, I'm afraid you have to come with me." The cop reaches in the window to subdue the man.
"Don't do that!" the man yells fearfully. "I'm scared you will find the gun in my glove compartment!" The cop pulls his hand out. "Wait here," he says.
The cop calls for backup. Soon cops, cars, and helicopters are flooding the area. The man is cuffed quickly and taken towards a car. However, before he gets in, a cop walks up to him and says, while gesturing to the cop that pulled him over, "Sir, this officer informed us that you had committed a robbery, had stolen loot in the trunk of your car, and had a loaded gun in your glove compartment. However, we found none of these things in your car."
The man replies, "Yeah, and I bet that liar said I was speeding too!"