Break up behavior

I'm trying to change my patterns in letting go after this break up. I finally deleted all photos, texts and any signs of his existence. I usually hang on to that stuff to self-torture. But Im trying to do things different to move on.

What do you do to help the process along? Besides the typical self-care things we usually do, any other suggestions? Roxi suggested I write a letter then burn it. I am going to do that soon.

Thanks for your support.

I burn the old love letters.

And really cash in on friend time. Overtime it.

A ton of cardio.

Reading.

Thank you all for your ideas. I did write a letter and will print it to burn. I am also going to work out shortly so I will get the physical self care in.

I finally found my tears this morning. Listening to a young song writer/singer friend of mine who attends music school with my son has some awesome songs about love and break ups. It was very soothing to hear her sing. It led me into a meditation where I practice a visualization technique I learned from Eckhart Tolle. "watching the watcher" of my thoughts. It always relieves me of the embedded pain and tears.

I really appreciate your thoughts and suggestions 🙂

Posted by xdimplez
someone once told me that everytime you get a good memory that comes to your mind about that person, to quickly replace it with a bad one. i guess thats one way of doing it, but isnt harboring hate the same intensity as harboring love? just different polar extremes?

you can try that if it works...its worked for me for a bit. but then i break down...

when i've had some time and allowed time to heal me and i get those memories, i allow myself to go through the memories. experience it all over again. yes it hurts, but at the same time it brings me joy and pleasure. there is reasons why these memories flood your thoughts, and there is reasons why that person was brought into your life. you have to remember that...and if you can look at those memories ,the good and the bad times, and you can dissect the lesson that you learned from that experience...then the better the person you will become and i find it also helps with the healing process

but whatever helps. sometimes i choose alcohol and dancing, and playing the whole 'if i dont see or hear from you, then you dont exist' act. but that doesnt last long

dont forget that its ok to cry. its not a weakness, although some of us may treat it as one...but its truly not. let yourself heal. loosing someone via a break up is like loosing them through death. you have to go through the grieving process in order to some what heal

Well said...I concur 🙂

I wrote and burned the letter.

I worked out, running and stairs, on a very cold day.

I had a long talk with my male best friend, the intuitive pisces.

I am eating a tasty lunch now.

I have not texted nor contacted him in 5 days and have no desire or compulsion to do so.

I have emotionally accepted its over and I may never have closure or understanding.



I think I'm taking all the action I can. I can't wait for the relief to come. 🙂

Posted by BigGirlPanties
I'm trying to change my patterns in letting go after this break up. I finally deleted all photos, texts and any signs of his existence. I usually hang on to that stuff to self-torture. But Im trying to do things different to move on.

What do you do to help the process along? Besides the typical self-care things we usually do, any other suggestions? Roxi suggested I write a letter then burn it. I am going to do that soon.

Thanks for your support.

Same thing with me 0 contact was so hard. to delete all the memories was such a pain but i had to do it so i can be healed.

There were mornings before i get teary eyed of how much i invested but i was thinking if i didnt start to move on i would be investing more time and wasting it on a person who just remind me of pain...

I dont go on sites that would remind me of him or would give me the urge of snooping around of how he's been... i avoid everything that remind me him and at the same time discovering new things that would make me forget him.

I gave myself more responsibility like enrolling in a course that would take away all my free time ( a course that would be beneficial and that made you pay would be better because youll have the dedication of finishing it ) , got a new hobby that made me more excited.


The more idle time the harder you move so i filled my schedule up until i didnt notice its been so long since the break up.

I'm tired with my busy schedule but i am happy for it had lessen the pain for i wont even have time to think too much about that person.

Having someone ( better that he has to be the same sex ) to talk to is so needed.
Dxp is actually a big help too.

it would create a small sting talking about him but now at least I know I AM ALRIGHT and I AM BETTER.. way better than i was before.


pain is inevitable but Suffering is just an option.

Posted by BigGirlPanties
I wrote and burned the letter.

I worked out, running and stairs, on a very cold day.

I had a long talk with my male best friend, the intuitive pisces.

I am eating a tasty lunch now.

I have not texted nor contacted him in 5 days and have no desire or compulsion to do so.

I have emotionally accepted its over and I may never have closure or understanding.



I think I'm taking all the action I can. I can't wait for the relief to come. 🙂

🙂 You have wonderful initiative.

thank you, Huntress.

I am learning from my past. Thank God !!

Wow, Seraph....well written and articulated.

This is literally only my 4th break up. So I am not much experienced. The first two, I ended it. these last 2, he did. I have to say, I prefer to former to the latter.

My ego is kicking my a $ $ hard. Ego is enemy, isn't it.

Thanks for sharing.

Good advice, Seraph. Thank you. I'm pushing forward because it's the *only* direction to go.

I believe is

1.first step is recognizing that your are human and you come with emotions
2. compare you emotions with you other break up , probably the same right?
3. realize like has ups and downs
4. study and learn from the way you are feeling so you can mater it better the next time around
5. leave on a good note as apart of the healing process

Posted by theleoman
I believe is

1.first step is recognizing that your are human and you come with emotions
2. compare you emotions with you other break up , probably the same right?
3. realize like has ups and downs
4. study and learn from the way you are feeling so you can mater it better the next time around
5. leave on a good note as apart of the healing process

I have always left on a good note with the others. Well, after some time, I went back to make my amends and healing. This last one, no that won't happen. He left me in silence, so I owe him nothing.

I will just forgive him silently.

Very good list, btw. I am definitely learning from this all.