Crab Falling for Lion...and PISSED About It!

Hellurr, how you durrin? (I watch too much Madea)
Antyways, let's cut to the chase, shall we?
First off: The Astrological Basics (since that's what we're all here for)

ME
Scorpio Rising
Sun in CANCER
Moon in Virgo
Mercury in Cancer
Venus in Gemini
Mars in Aries

HIM
(Don't remember rising sign)
Sun in LEO
Moon in Libra -___-
Mercury in Leo
Venus in Cancer
Mars in Taurus

We met at the club on in early August...well...he met Uma (my alter ego) during one of my drag performances. Normally, I don't take men who are attracted to me when I'm in drag too seriously because: 1. They ALL are, and 2. They are attracted to an illusion. Not the real me. BUT I made an exception for this motherfucker and decided to give him some play...in my own little way.
Usually I'm the type who is VEERRRRY guarded. I'm very mean and dismissive of men by default. I see through them like they're made of glass and most of the time disapprove of their character, motives or appearance. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm only shallow when it comes to dating. With friends and anyone else, I really don't care what you look like. BUT, if we're dating and things go well and down that relationship road (which I expect if I give you a chance) then I'm sorry...I have to be physically attracted to you in order to want to have physically intimate relations with you. That's the reality of the situation.
So obviously this Lion is SEXXXAAAY. *fans self* He was sooo sexy. Tall, slim and defined, long limbs (ALL of them *tehe*) mocha-skinned, high cheekbones and those ever-so-piercing and unique Leo eyes. Our meeting was strange. I had just come off stage and a friend of mine (Virgo, like almost all my friends) was introducing me to some of his friendly friends. Among them was the Lion. We instantly locked eyes and I felt a JOLT of some type of sexual energy run through me (he admitted to me later that he did, too). It took us both off-guard. Especially me. I like to be in control. I didn't control that, nor did I foresee it...Pissed.
As I always do, I play it cool, right? I act like I'm not interested but don't dismiss him. I ask him a few questions in a cold demeanor and go about my way. Of course, "what's your sign" was the FIRST one. I don't know many Leos, so this is a first for me. Only Leo in my life is my grandmother, whom I love dearly, but she's female and she's my grandmother...she's not a comparable factor in this case.
*to be continued*
(running out of characters)

backstage, I tell my Virgo friend that I like his Lion friend and he invites him back there with us. There was a theme for the show that night, and apart of it had to do with having our best fag hag (female friend) do our makeup. My fag hag (also a Virgo) had to leave right after she dusted my mug to go on a rendezvous with her Aries lover. We were all supposed to go out and do some cheesy "Romy & Michelle's Highschool Reunion"-type slowdance with them at the end of the night. Since she was gone, the male Virgo tells Leo to dance with me. Obviously, he accepts.

I used to be a stripper at a lesbian club when I lived in Houston and am used to being a sexual yet virginal type of "woman" when I do my shows, so slow dancing is not my thing (in or out of drag, for that matter). It feels stupid to me. Couple that with this new, mysterious Lion and...yeah...I was feeling uneasy...Pissed.

I look him in the eye so I can read him but he was hard to read, even for me. I was intrigued. Still playing cold but feeling a bit more lighthearted, I grabbed his hand and led him to the dancefloor with me when we were called out. As SOON as the music came out, HE took control! He put his arms around my back and danced soooo close to me that I could feel the six-pack through his shirt. He would NOT let me back up....I didn't fight it too much. I tried to look him in the eye but soon as I did I felt that jolt again and I MELTED! He knew what he was doing, too, because he had this ever-so-cute sideways smirk on his face. *reminisces*

I don't do "intimate situations" with strangers, but I couldn't bring myself to bitch at him or force him off of me like I normally would. I knew he was trying to "claim" me and not disrespect me, and I liked it. The look on his face said all I needed to know. My dress was veeery short and he used that as the perfect excuse to put his hands on my ass to "pull it down, and cover me up". Strange thing was, it wasn't even sexual...it felt protective. I liked that, too.

Anyway, we exchanged numbers that night. We were both fluttering like butterflies. I couldn't even hide it. Virgo said he NEVER saw Leo act like that (especially so quickly) with ANYONE, and they've known each other 4 years. He said I put a spell on him, which I've been known to do, but it wasn't intentional this time! I swear!

So we talk and text for the next few days and all that bullshit.

Meanwhile, I check-in with Virgo every now and then to relay what Leo said to me just to make sure he was being completely real with me (even though I knew he was). Our conversations were great and he has great POSITIVE energy. Something a "doombringer" (as my friends affectionately call me) like me, desperately needs in my life. He lives about thirty minutes away from me and he has no car. I live in the city and have no need for one, plus, I'm a terrible driver. With work and all that jazz we managed to see each other mostly every weeekend. Our rendezvous' were fun, but I always feel this need to make him calm down. He tries so hard to be the center of attention, and he doesn't need to. He is a wonderful person, as is, and all the "extra" just comes off as in-genuine and, frankly, turns me off. PLUS, he tries soooo hard to "act gay" when we're around a bunch of other faggots. I have an issue with other gay men because they never seem to grow the fuck up...that's a whole other story. Anyway, he's different, and I hate when he imitates foolish and immature behaviour. Granted, he's 21, so he's still discovering who he is. I do allow him some leeway, but sometimes his attention whorish ways got out of hand at times. BUT when I checked him (and I DO check him) he listens and doesn't make the same mistake twice...at least not in my presence.
My BIGGEST issue with him was one night when I was comin back from NYC and stopped by his crib to pick him up. Don't you know This motherfucker had on heels?!!!! I made no reservations about expressing my disapproval. We usually hug and kiss when we see each other but I gave him a half-hearted hug, snickered in his face, cut my eyes, and diverted my attention from him to his friend he wanted to introduce me to until we left. I could tell he was hurt, and a little confused. I wanted him to be, and I sat in the front seat wit my Virgo fag hag as we held a conversation amongst ourselves. Neither one of us could figure out what had gotten into him, but it was a red flag.

REEEEEWIIIINDDD!!!!

You're probably wondering why a drag queen is so pissed that his boyfriend-to-be is in heels. Here's why.
He was molested by his father and had a veeeerrrry cold, distant relationship with his mother, so he has been on his own since 16. Like many CHILDREN on their own in the world, he got caught up in the wrong crowd. He sold drugs for a bit and worked for an escort service for a short time.

Just so we're clear, are you male or female?

He found his escape in the gay scene when he met a group of drag queens. Naturally, at a young, impressionable age he was determined to do whatever he could to fit in with these people who took him under their wing. So he started playing in drag and going to gay clubs and shit. In short, they corrupted him. He hung with quite a trashy, highly-immature band of faggots. All these queens care about is fulfilling their delusional fantasies of being "pretty". I've seen it happen to so many people's sons OVER AND OVER and it's pathetic. I explained to him during our FIRST phone conversation that I don't date many gay men because they either can't take me seriously as a man because of how feminine I am, or they get jealous of my beauty and the attention it gets me, and try to compete with me. Problem is, they're imitating what's not in their nature, and do it poorly. I told him I HATE that shit, and although I'm "beautiful" and "pretty" and blahblahblah, it doesn't mean much at the end of the day and he needs to focus on building a life for himself instead of playing dress-up.

So, needless to say now, I was pissed because I knew he was trying to compete with me. When we got to where we were staying that night, we talked for four hours. I told him I never wanna see him in heels again, switchin around, limp-wristed and all that faggotry because it disgusts me. I have no problem dating another feminine man but he needs to be GENUINELY FEMININE. My Leo is not feminine, whatsoever, when it comes to his appearance, body language or train of thought. He is a man all the way. It is genuine and it suits him wonderfully. I explained to him again that I don't want him trying to compete with me because he's not gonna win, and I'm not with him so we can be "competition". That's an incredible asinine way of looking at a relationship. I told him I see something in him, and apart of me feels stupid for being with him because although he meets my standards physically, he is a bit sub-par in other fields. HOWEVER, I can't escape the feeling that he is extremely capable and intelligent and just needs guidance...well, I KNOW he needs guidance.

As usual, I am always attracted to men that need me. I like to rescue and be a catalyst for a life-altering experience, and usually am. He's my new "project".

I explained to him that he has more important things to worry about, like starting a career, leaving his hometown and exploring life, finding his passion, getting his own place and his DAMN GED!!!!! With all his family problems he never finished high school. I don't judge him on that nor any other mistakes he has made. He's only human and was dealt bad cards. But I take it as my personal mission to help rescue him to the best of my ability. A guided change is what he needs, and he understands that that change WILL come through me if he sticks with me. And I couldn't get rid of him if I tried. 🙂 He listened to everything I said and literally became himself again right before my eyes! And it stuck! He listens to me and doesn't fight me when he knows I'm right. That's a big sign of maturity. He's perfectly moldable. I dream of what and who he's gonna be when I'm done with him. *sigh*

OH! SEX!
We had sex ONE time and I didn't enjoy it because I was in a hurry and couldn't really get into it. Plus, it was at a friends house and I felt like I was in high school sneakin around wit my boyfriend. Soooo not grown 'n' sexy. I can't fully get into sex unless it happens in my lair *ahem* house. And at the moment, I'm in one of those typical city-living situations where I don't get alot of privacy. I told him after that bad experience (for me, not for him) that we're not having sex until one of us gets our own place (which will be me).

Quiet as it's kept, I already have a fabulous little loft in the city ready for move-in in two weeks that he doesn't know about. I told him this almost two months ago just to see how he reacted, and he genuinely is willing to wait for me. I have NO reasons to question his faithfulness and I know his intentions and motives are pure. It's almost too good to be true 🙂

BUT

(btw, I'm getting tired of typing. Didn't realize how much I was writing. Guess I needed to get this off my chest)

Long story short, I received a call from his roommate two weeks ago telling me he was in prison for some stupid-ass unpaid fined he had from 3, 4 years ago. THey turned into warrants. I told him he needs to make payment arrangements and apparently he never did. Oh well. I'm honestly highly worried about him. He has never been to prison and I really hope no old perv is trying to make him his "boy". He's too cute and waaayyy too sensitive for prison. He's a Leo on the outside, but inside he's a well of emotions and he has no control over them.

He'll be out November 9th, and I'm visiting him this sunday. I went last Sunday but the ignorant-ass, country-ass, no-class-ass, missin' tooth-ass warden told me I couldn't see him because he already had a visit that day!! Nobody told me shit about him only bein able to have one visit per day! I called y'all dusty motherfuckers, told you who I wanted to see and you said "Come anytime between noon and 2:30pm" so I came at 1. I ain't know SHIT about no first-come, first-serve basis type shit!!

Sorry....flashback

I will be EARLY this sunday, that's for damn sure.

OMG!!!!! PISSED! I've done all this writing and don't even think I got to the main points!!!!!
-___-
I'm tired of typing now, though. I wish I knew how to get my point across without elaborating on the point of the point of the point. Thank you, Virgo Moon :/

*sigh*

Reply, people. I guess more details will come when y'all ask questions. I need an aspect to focus on to write clearly and concisely.

Leos, how have your experiences with Cancers been?
Blahblahblah

*fingers go numb*

Posted by happykitsune
Just so we're clear, are you male or female?

Male, sweetie.
But I get paid to perform drag shows, on occasion.
He met me at one of them.

Just came across this online, and I totally co-sign.

Scorpio Rising - General

You have keen animal instincts, a deeply instinctual and passionate nature, and access to forces that can be used for healing and regeneration - of yourself, other individuals, or society. Strong-willed and powerful in a quiet understated sort of way, you are always a force with which to be reckoned. You know intuitively where another's pain or weakness lies, and can thus be a natural healer - or a terrible enemy, if your energies are directed toward conflict. Learning to trust and follow your instincts, and to focus your will upon positive intents, are keys to fulfilling your highest destiny. Your ruling planets are Mars and Pluto.

Scorpio Rising and Mars in Aries

Your Mars is in the courageous, independent and self-motivated sign of Aries. Your function is to be a leader and a pioneer, bringing forth something unprecedented and original. Boldness, valor, and originality are your keynotes. You are a fierce competitor or warrior, and have a "killer instinct" which, even when used in defense of good principles, needs to be tempered with kindness. The shadow side of this is that you can be ruthless, selfish, and you tend to overuse force.


Scorpio Rising and Pluto in Scorpio

Your Pluto is in Scorpio as well, revealing a capacity for entering into the darkest places in order to bring consciousness, light, and healing. If you are drawn to use your powers and abilities selfishly, you will often feel isolated and will be your own worst enemy. You are attuned to depth, rapture, and what some would consider horrible or taboo. You could be a profound healer, Shaman, or medicine man/woman if your motives are clear.

I definitely approve this message, Universe

Posted by PunkyBruiser
so you like a Leo and a Libra? you sure fall easily!

Fuck the Libra. He just knew all the right things to say and I got caught up in it due to my own depression and convoluted perception.

And I'm not in love with the Leo, silly 😛

But I'm falling for him.
Was never "in love" with the Libra, either.
I'm quick to take care of and guide people, not fall in love with them.

fathom, you made me lol so many times reading this.

Posted by nimbue
fathom, you made me lol so many times reading this.

LOL co-sign! Especially@ Don't you know This motherfucker had on heels?!!!! OMG I snorted in front of everyone, typically I don't read long ass stories but I'm glad I made an exception.

The main point I was trying to make is that even though our relationship is very positive, I can't help but feel that he lacks depth. He's always so damn happy and when he isn't, he is OVERemtoional and cries and shit. I am very good at handling emotions and can go through the motions with him, but I feel like that's the farthest I go...his emotions never feel genuine. I don't know how to handle "put-ons" nor do I feel I should have to. It's like he's always putting on a show. It's cute sometimes, but I just want him to CALM DOWN and be real, too. Every now and then I get a glimpse of the "real" him and that's what keeps me hangin on to him. I feel like he's immature but then he does or says something that makes me rethink that assumption. A minute late, though, he does something to reinforce it -___-. What do you guys think from experience with Leos? Am I just reading too much into him? Expecting him to meet my expectations instead of me learning how he works? Or are young Leo men really just.....that....simple?
It's hard for me to accept that he can be so asinine and superficial at times.

You have an insecure lion, also sounds like he's truly trying to find his own identity and stumbling through the process, don't do too much hand holding, let him fall a few times, being his mother won't make him grow up any faster and you've really described an unevolved leo to a T, keep loving him but be careful that you aren't doing all the loving and giving, don't do/give too much or he may just bite you in the back if you push too hard and criticize him too much since he's on the lesser end of the maturity scale he'll inevitably roar and rebel and demonstrate he's KING by doing something you least expect, lions don't like feeling like he can't stand on his own 2 feet, don't ever make him feel helpless or less than or you'll become the enemy eventually.