How do you process anger?

This topic was created in the Leo forum by BigGirlPanties on Wednesday, August 8, 2012 and has 13 replies.

Profile picture of BigGirlPanties
@BigGirlPanties
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Yes, i do have scorp moon. Its a bitch at times.

In the past, Id react immediately..lash out, and later regret it a lot. Ive done a lot of spiritual work and now I tend to stuff the anger. It comes out much later and over whelms me.

My issue now is dealing with my own denial, how I accepted such shabby treatment by a man. How my "pollyanna" denial gave too many passes at his behavior. On the surface it looks like I an angry at him and how cowardly and selfish he was but really Im angry at my allowing it to go on.

I always want the truth, I want him to come clean on everything, thinking that will give me peace. But in reality, even if he were to tell me everything I couldnt believe him. So the solution lies within me to have acceptance that what occured happened, I cant change it and to let it go.

Profile picture of Nala13
@Nala13
14 Years1,000+ PostsLeo

Posted by DG
For me it depends on so many things...

1) Is this person even worth my energy ?

2) If no, then theres my out.

3) If yes, then I will confront in a nice way, alone in private.

+1

The key is if I tell myself that I am going to let it go then I really have to let it go. It is far easier said than done.

Profile picture of BigGirlPanties
@BigGirlPanties
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Jynja
BGP, I don't think letting go is any Leo's forte at all.

What, with the way we stuff our hearts, essences, our very lives into the associations we consider important to us - which is usually romantic - there's no way we can just let go of our investments as easily as peeps think - they really don't know.

You can't blame yourself for being a natural, all-feminine sweetie. Being a hard ass at home is my greatest nightmare so I'm soft and gooey to the core in my romantic relationship. After all, I try to give it my all. Its their loss they got the best woman ever and messed with her. I let my pride tell me they'll never get a better offer - which is very true. Take a look at all the other women, can anyone offer a man half the world you could have given him?

He's the fool - not you.

Wow....so good to hear someone else express my exact feelings. 🙂

Ive never been able to let go easily. I have a very high tolerance for pain. I've always thought its the combo of my leo/cancer venus. and a butt load of codependence.

Thank you for your gentle, loving words. Needed em today.

Profile picture of BigGirlPanties
@BigGirlPanties
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by seraph
I just wait day. Usually it's gone by then. Whatever's left over is easier to work with, when you can *think.*

Act out of deliberate strategy, not anger.

So what you're saying is to let the emotion die down, then develop a proper strategy in how to deal with the person?

What has been your experience? How has it worked out?

Profile picture of R1g0rM0rT1s
@R1g0rM0rT1s
14 Years1,000+ Posts

another non leo comment: seraph's right (dabnabbit). it's never a wise idea to act during moments of anger cos anger itself is irrational and so we aren't gonna be thinking clearly.

i don't think you should develop a strategy in how to deal with the person though....you need the strategy to process your anger. anger doesn't affect anyone else...just you.

if you need 'answers' to a situation in order to move on from it, that discussion has to take place when you are calm and your anger has subsided.

Profile picture of BigGirlPanties
@BigGirlPanties
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
another non leo comment: seraph's right (dabnabbit). it's never a wise idea to act during moments of anger cos anger itself is irrational and so we aren't gonna be thinking clearly.

i don't think you should develop a strategy in how to deal with the person though....you need the strategy to process your anger. anger doesn't affect anyone else...just you.

if you need 'answers' to a situation in order to move on from it, that discussion has to take place when you are calm and your anger has subsided.

very well said.

Profile picture of delishhh
@delishhh
16 YearsLeo

My pride usually helps me hide my anger, but when I'm angry I prefer not to talk until i've cooled down...and then i'm happy again!!! lol

Profile picture of BigGirlPanties
@BigGirlPanties
15 Years1,000+ Posts

I did exactly what Seraph suggested, even before he posted. I emailed a friend...I called a friend and talked it out. I felt much better after. Anger can really hurt me...I think because years ago I used to hold onto it so tightly with my ex husband and it took forever to forgive him.

Now a days, it doesnt stay that long, but I FEAR it will. Its that fear that scares me. So Im in fear of fear!

One thing I did that *may* have helped is I took down a photo of the person I am angry with and flushed it down the toilet. SOmehow, that felt good 😛

I am not enraged now, and its not consuming me, Im calm, but I do have to take care of business and say what I mean, mean what I say, but not say it mean.