How To Love A Heartbroken Leo

So before ig I get started, this is my first time doing this. I am a Capricorn woman(23, fem) who really likes a Leo woman (31, stud). She is also 8 years older than I am. maybe this isn't the right way to ask for help, but I just don't know if I should or shouldn't throw in the towel, and just be her friend.

this leo and I work together. well rather the same company, different departments. i have been talking and attempting to get to know her since late July of 2017. I asked her every question I could ever think of. We talked about our goals, what we wanted out of life, friends, family, exes, and etc. we had this back and forth flirting, shes cooked for me, ive cooked for her, been on a couple of actual dates, been to sporting events, shes let me sleep over. lately she has been initiating that we hang out more so i do know that she likes spending time with me much as i do with her. ive been some of her family, shes met some of mine.

In late august/mid September, we both started getting asked if we were dating. My answer always was that youd have to ask her. Now by this time she already knew that I liked her. So we had a sit down convo about what we both wanted and it was then I got hit with the “I do like you, but its me not you, lets just be friends.” Cant lie I was temporarily crushed, but as a capricorn and someone who didn’t want to loose her, I just had to swallow it.

So after that things stayed the same, then we had sex.. sex a couple of times actually, and after the second time she told me it couldn’t happen again. And unfortunately for at least me, it hasn’t. my problem is idk where I stand lately. Some days I can feel her need a little space, others shes all about me. If I text when we’re hanging out shell like semi-playfully attempt to knock my phone out of my hands. Im moving out in a few days, and idk how serious she was but she asked for a key. With her reasoning being that shes making up for all the time ive spent at her house, even though ive never had one to hers. At first I thought maybe she isn’t holding back anymore and shell actually ask me out this time. I move out Monday so maybe its just a wait and see.

But this post is called a heartbroken leo, because during my 1000 questions, she talked about her & her ex had broken up around new years, and how they had been on a back and forth thing for the last 3-4 years. I also know shes heartbroken because all of her feelings seem like they are a little dead inside. Like romance is just dead or over ratted. Idk if that’s a leo thing or a been repeatedly hurt thing. Im a hopeless romantic, and ive been trying to or have the goal of reviving those feelings. And I honestly haven’t the slightest idea how to do it.

hi op!

do u know why she doesn't want to have sex anymore? or why she feels that way?

she might really be protecting her heart if she talked about being hurt before...

Before I reached the end of your post, I was going to say that this Leo is either playing games or is emotionally compromised for some reason. If a Leo is emotionally compromised it's normally because of a stressful workload, an inconsistent ex, or our own trust issues. Sounds like in your case it's possibly all three.

We Leos tend to protect our hearts from situations that may harm us. Sounds like everything was fine when things were casual, but once people started asking questions about your "relationship", the Leo started to move backwards. She's simply not ready for a relationship.

When you said responded back, "ask her", it meant you were open to a potential relationship that she couldn't entertain. This is because regardless of her feelings for you, she still has unresolved feelings for her ex. Three to four years going back and forth with an ex means your Leo has not truly let that other person go. It means that while she appreciates you, her heart still currently belongs to someone else.

Leo is a fixed sign, which means we can have a hard time with change. This means that until WE are ready to let go, we can hold on for a loooooong tiiiiime. Unfortunately this can be to our own detriment as well. Your Leo hasn't figured out that letting go of a toxic situation is both smart and healthy.

Ever heard the saying, "hurt people hurt people"? Your Leo is hurt and looking to fill the void in her heart. The problem is this could come at the expense of someone else's feelings (namely yours). She's simply not ready to give you what you want, so instead of hurting you, she's keeping you at bay.

From what I can gather, she's most comfortable with a "friends with benefits" relationship (since that's basically what you've had up until now). She may not be ready/able to give you more than that. If that's not what you want, there's no need to stick around. Find someone who isn't emotionally compromised and let her go.

I would definitely say patience and persistence. If you're dealing with a heartbroken Leo, if this individual really wants to be with you, she'll warm up eventually and drop all this hot-and-cold stuff. The hot-and-cold routine is that uncertainty most Leos have about jumping into something that feels good, but being wary not to make some of the mistakes of old again.

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
I wouldn't deal with this bs. Patience whilst she's hanging on to some other person. Lol. Cap you're not this stupid

Just know Leo's create their own dramas and situations

They deserve to be unhappy

@CaramelizedCoffee your anti-Leo bias is on full display 🙂

Nah I wouldn't call it dumb. I would call it exactly what it is -- persistence. Sometimes you get what you're after, and sometimes you don't, but either way, if you don't put in that effort, you'll never know.

"Success only comes before work in the dictionary."

Posted by edgelord
how old is her ex? do you know? that's a significant age gap between you. and as someone (masculine gay woman) in her age group i don't know if i could seriously be with someone in your age group.

this has been a fwb. thus far. and now you want it to turn into more.

i guess we'll see.

im trying to figure out how to win her heart, make her mine cause im really feeling her.. I do know it'll take time, but I wanna be sure that im in the running rather than being someone whos just getting played... her ex is also 27.

As a semi update, shes asked me to lunch a couple of times. and when we hung out last weekend, she did let me sleep over on her own accord. I also have moved in my apartment, well still in the process, she asked for a key again yesterday, and made sure to iterate that i knew how serious she was about wanting/getting one