Leo, Trust & pisces (Page 2)

Forgot (very tired yesterday..): Thank u so much for your feedback & advise Donna!! 😉

I'm here for you sweetie. I do hope in the meantime you're going out and meeting other men. No reason to put all your eggs in one basket (ha, quite literally).

HHHAHHAHHAH! I know time's ticking but....nobody put it to me quite like that!
Will try the going out & meeting other guys - haven't dont much of that yet, my pathetic excuse being very long working hours - but yes, let's try something different. In my heart though is still feel he's the one, it just felt so right and easy!

Was logged on skype tonight then he logged in (so I'm still in his list) but didn't contact me when my 'door was open' (I stayed online for a good hour) : too big a step? Testing my resistance/ self control?

I think what he said holds true, he's not IN love with you. If he was, he'd be contacting you constantly. When a Leo is in love, they feel a claim on you and want to know everything that goes on in your life. I think his last messages were to just know how you are doing because he did care but it isn't love on his part.

It's best to forget him and meet men locally. Go out with friends so you don't stay cooped up thinking about it.

Posted by donna88
If he was, he'd be contacting you constantly. When a Leo is in love, they feel a claim on you and want to know everything that goes on in your life.

Donna, that WAS the case before he broke up!
He always wanted to know what I was up to, wanted to know about my friends, my family, texted right after the job interview, the doctor's appointment...i could go on-

Also, in his last text he didn't exactly ask how I was - saying he was "missing me badly" goes a bit beyond just keeping on good terms or making sure I'm ok, no?

Darlin, you guys haven't talked for, how long has it been? A relationship can only take so much silence, especially long distance. Plus, the last time you really communicated, he broke up with you. So, his checking in from time to time is just that. He doesn't hate you, he cares but not as you'd like him to. I'm sure he's conscious of not giving you the impression he wants more than just that. So it's friendly yet distant; not the way a Leo in love behaves. I know it's hard but it's best to let him go slowly and move on.

The words, 'missing you badly' isn't resulting in actions is it? Could have been a weak moment. Didn't you respond right away and he just dropped off? Words are cheap. You know he could contact you if he wanted to. But for some reason he's choosing not to. Heed it and then decide if he's a guy worth pining over. As much as I would've cared about him, that fact would leave me cold and wanting to see what else was out there. At this point, he doesn't deserve your love.

The break up was by text message from his part, no real communication.
Still the 'missing me badly' does sound a bit more than checking up to me. Still, if it is, I very much want to get communication going again.
We talked every second day at least for over 6 month and I miss him also as a friend, his insights, his opinions...we were very comfortable talking about everything, relationships, politics..you name it. I miss that.
How to get back to communication?

Our posts crossed, was typing the last one when you posted the second one...yes, I realize that he very well knows that he can contact me and didn't do so for about 8 weeks. Then his text message recently - followed by nothing more yet.

Me being on skype before yesterday at the same time he was and NOT contacting him was not easy, but I held back, wanting to let HIM come and also to show him I CAN control my emotions, the overemotional calls from my side being what sent him 'over the edge'.
So maybe there is also that trust towards me to be build up before he feels confortable communicating with me in the first place?


There is also that thought: IF I were a friend and nothing more, wouldn't he have no trouble communicating, since I didn't make any contact at all and in my email clearly accepted his break up quite a while ago?

I have been doing my thing and thinking & taking good care of myself since he broke up, FireDragonScorpio, despite what Iam feeling for the Leo, but yes, I think I still need to get where I put myself 100% first.

His text hit me. He must know what I feel for him, and I well know he wouldn't hurt intentionally, so I wondered why he sent it. There's no need for checkup because he hasn't deleted me from his fb friends, so by the few photos & posts I put on my wall since, he knows I'm fine, because he also knows I can't fake neither smiles nor comments.

I still do wish to open up communication channels with this one....

FireDragonScorpio makes a very good point about pre and post break-up behavior. You are a Pisces, correct? I think you're taking to mean it a bit deeper than he did. We can say that in the heat of being upset about something but as a fire sign, sadly, we're focused on how WE are feeling at the moment. It's selfish. If you responded, he would have loved the ego boost but if he's not in love (and screwing lots of woman as you posted previously), he's drowning his sorrows between legs and anyone who will listen and give him attention. It's all for his benefit, not how a relationship should be which is US.

Communication is a two way street, it can't be forced from one side. Like Donna said, silence is golden. If the reason for his behavior is the crap he's going through (which I don't buy because I don't subject people I care about to my problems), then give him time to get himself together. Leo's are protectors of those we love. We don't leave them hanging or wondering how we feel. That is, IF we feel something deep. It really is an all or nothing proposition with us. Also, I've read here about another girl who gave and gave to a Leo at a very early stage of their relationship without letting HIM pursue her and she got dumped. Leo's need to win their prize (you). Give him that opportunity by not contacting him and living a great life full of friends and experiences. The happier you are with lots of men pursuing you, the more desirable you are in his eyes.

I get you - also much apreciate your feedback, always precious to me. I had to read it twice because I felt I wanted to shake it off the first time - but I want to grow, learn.

So, yes, Iam trying to focus solely on myself, which I will not get two in the next two minutes.
On fb I changed my picture twice in the past two months, posting basically very nice moments I had with friends, so that's that.
Besides that I am kicking my behind constantly to go out more and have done more in the last week in the four previous ones.
Will take a short holiday next week - so I'm trying to become, live.

Yes Iam pisces, but with a leo rising, so there's some fire there, too.

I asked about the 'how to make contact' because in other posts I read it said somthing like keeping in touch from time to time but keeping it light, if with humor, even better could help re-initiating a friendship, and then build on that...

Think I need to vent...
So his friend - also one of mine - dropped me a few lines saying he's on holidays on some other island but that he phones my Leo every 3,4 days and that the Leo's sad that the season is coming to and end.

Ha! I was tempted to respond: "Don't you worry, the island whore spend the summer surfing between the legs of the world's female population on holiday, he for sure already has a back up plan in his beautiful little brain to spend a cozy winter"

I had to hold back, after all if that's to say, it's to say to the Leo directly.
So I'm not writing back. Maybe if he sends another mail later.
But a couple of hours later of course I had pangs in which I missed the Leo again....no comment needed, I have to get stronger yet, if simple words like that bring out such strong emotions.

I life by that and hold on to it: Silence is golden - amen.

apparently a not so nice word ('island person-who-gets paid-for special-services') was replaced by 'just like me' in the second paragraphe....

Arghhhh!! I was just now talking to a friend of mine, skype open - when he came online; I stayed for about 20mns, he didn't call.

Shall I delete him from skype?

A good friend no, don't. I'd just show hate at a given moment - be indifferent and leave him there. But let hum make the first move.

All I can say is I've kinda done something similar when I was drinking, but instead of calling him I made fun of him "indirectly" to his friends while he was in the same room. I was very drunk and we had an argument afterwards.

We both ended up letting it go because I was too drunk to honestly remember what I had said, but had realized what I had said really offended him.

Still, haven't drank with him since then and haven't actually drank in a long time. Idk if I will drink with him again because I don't want to do something like that again when I'm too drunk to think straight :/

He forgave me, but this is on the basis of us knowing each other for 6 years. I have no idea how long you've known this leo, but I've had a leo friend who completely stopped conversation with me just because he didn't like something I did. They can be harsh.

That text you got from his friend kinda sounded like he's having sex with other women, but I couldn't really tell cus I didn't wanna read too much into it. I'd be pissed tho...and hate him 😆

Blah I read that wrong. Sounds like your "would-be" response is saying he's having sex with other women. Am I right?

Well, I think he definively had sex - in the phase when he was angry and yelling at everyone - right now, no idea.

I don't know if you can call it 'stop talking' Happykitsune, when he send his text message, it was probably just a 'slip' - so I guess the future will tell.
My emotions are not 100% back to stable yet, but am feeling confident tonight, so I can say that if he completely stops talking, he loses something good and precious from his life and (tonight) my feeling is, he'll regret that.

I have known him for over a year, but in reality only since January this year. Still, I was there for him when times were tough - and they were! I think the lengths of knowing is not all, what you go through in that time is also important - and I think especially the hard times makes you see the core of a person much faster...

Posted by donna88
I think what he said holds true, he's not IN love with you. If he was, he'd be contacting you constantly. When a Leo is in love, they feel a claim on you and want to know everything that goes on in your life. I think his last messages were to just know how you are doing because he did care but it isn't love on his part.

It's best to forget him and meet men locally. Go out with friends so you don't stay cooped up thinking about it.

So I am starting a relationship with a Leo man. He just seems to just want to be one on one or want to know when we can be one on one. How do I not reject him but insure he isn't just wanting one thing?

No news since his last text but I finally responded to his business partner/friend's email wishing him a good holiday and then saying that Iam done, because the Leo didn't contact me when he knew well that he could.

Somehow I really believe the last word is not said yet, but I am keeping my silence.

Taking a flight and catching some sun for 5 days tomorrow...he's ever so present in this flat of mine, in my dreams at night, hope I'll manage to undust my wings a bit there and get back more solid ground under my feet. I miss him, especially tonight, when I feel the flight should go to his island, to him, not to Africa.

just was on fb chat, he came online for 5mn, didn't contact me.
I am so so tempted now to respond to his text with "so do I" - silence is hard, maybe I should give him a litlle something to tell him I still care?

ok, I sent "So do I - especially your brain".

So I least I gave him a little something before my trip - once there and when back, I'll be a bit stronger anyway.
Will send NOTHING anymore before something comes from him.

If he doesn't remember what he sent - even a couple of weeks ago - he isn't worth sh.. anyhow.

I regret sending the text a bit now, but at least I kept it short. It was sent in the morning, so he definitively has no reason to think I was drunk or anything - also knows via fb I was about to go on holidays and therefore well - via "good trip" messages from friends.

LMFAO...he's back!

ignore him?

yes. absolutely ignore him. make him work gf 😛

I forgot to meantion how much you all helped, shaking me up, offering me your perspectives - it's just here that I laid out the whole thing - my friends don't seem to grasp that a sign could play into someone's behavior.

just to give you the complete pic, below word by word what he wrote (first contact since july), so it is as objective as possible) He's going for my brain, because we DID have a lot of really interesting conversations, especially about politics and history, so wanting to exchange about that (especially in light of the explosive situation of his country) is probably natural for him.
Interesting still to see how our viewpoints of 'our' story diverge, which points stick to his memory, which to mine.
The important thing is that by now my body has nearly healed from the motorcycle accident, Iam healthy and fit.

I send you the links bellow and i would like to watch them, the documentary debtocracy as made two years ago and it talks about the problem that greece is facing now.
At the moment there is terrible situation in my country, the democracy is gone, and corrupted MPs that have been stealing the greek people for years, that have offended us all around the world are giving everything in foreign interest.
The fat guy named Pagalos is the vice president of the todays government, just listen to what he says in the French media!
The one named Panos Kammenos is also a MP who has been erased by his party, New Democracy, for saying the truth about the former prime minister Giorgos Papandreou, and the way he made tones of money from the crises that him and his socialist party in collaboration with the global opportunists like Soros have created.
I send you all this cos i want you o know and maybe say to others that me, my friends and the majority of my country fellows are not lazy thieves.

You can also find this in many languages, French as well


In the two above is The Vice president

In this one is the MP, listen to him and see the empty parliament, this is in late 2011, before in greece they make the government between the socialist and the right, with 190 Mp from both parties. Mind that about 50 Mps that belonged to both parties refused to follow and have been erased from their Parties.

I hope i am not bothering you but i consider that the above are not related to our personal issues and what happened between us, and for wich i should have talked to you a long time ago. I consider you one of the most intelligent persons i have met in my life and someone i could sit and talk for hours about most of matters. For this reason and many others i think of many times and miss you, but yet hesitate to come in touch with you for your last reactions.
I had believed, from what you had said about your self that you dont like when people push and put pressure on you, that dont judge you and try to manipulate you. After i left that year you somehow, did exactly that.
i Asked to come and spent time together, you came after saying yes and no yes and no, ok, that was your right. After you came it was so nice to have you there and seeing all these things you did to the house, was like life had come back to that house from many aspects, so far so good.
Then you started telling me about underwear you found in my house and why i had them there and so.. well did i ever made i comment or did i ever looke for something when i was in your house? did or i didnt have the right to have anything i wanted in my house? You felt annoyed about my ex, did or i didnt have the right to have a life before i met you? Would you feel nice to have someone making you feel you ve done something wrong, when you had nt done anything wrong?
I asked you to leave alone for a wile but you kept calling me while you were drunk, and with this way you were just pushing me more and more far. Do you really think that you would have liked to be with someone like the way you were back then? Well from what i saw in you aloud me to say no.



I know now: I do not hope for anything. I do not fear anything, I have freed myself from both the mind and the heart, I have mounted much higher, I am free.

p.S: forgot to put quotation marks, sorry guys! his mail starts with "i send you the links....and ends with ...i am free"

what do you think?

it's really great that he spelled out to you what the issue was that drove him away. it kinda fits with everything that was said to you on here about it. i think he's telling you that he's no longer yours.

in the time that you didn't hear from him and you were sending those texts and whatever, you would have been better served to have sat down and really thought about what YOU had done to drive him away.

maybe had you done so and filled the silence with some kind of apology for your behaviour...or at least taking responsibiity for it, you might have had a chance to turn it around.

i think the chance is lost now but these are issues you need to address for yourself and then you, like your leo, will be free 🙂

thank your you message R1g0rM0rT1s!
in order to let you know what I actually think about this approach after 7 months of silence... here's what I wrote, but didn't send yet:

...interesting of what different things both of our memories retain - our viewpoints as both of our written chronological resum?s differ, saw that?
It strong for you to write. Or maybe you're just bored -
On the other hand I think your ego is just too big for me to understand your behavior and the way you reason below -
My 'last reactions', hmmm.......ever been wounded and trapped, in a 14square meter room for several weeks with a bright blue sky outside? Not only unable to sleep because of the wound, but also never a pain free moment during daytime? No pressure relief - and that combined for 720hrs/ a month?
Of course my body reacted quickly to the slightest hint of alcohol. Notice how quickly all rebalanced by itself once I could at least walk again? Had 7hrs nonstop sleep? Tiny things, but so important when you're deprived of them -

I don't mean I wish for you to experience that, but you should have read my explanation carefully and linked it to the person who had already spent a whole month right in front of you - it would have made sense instantly, had you only made the tiniest effort to put yourself in my shoes, and I mean really feel yourself into that situation. That is, once you overcame your big ego and trust issues. I had nothing to hide, never have, all was plain out in the open. If i was not stable as you believed me to be, how the hell would I have been able to hide that from you for a month? And not the easiest month for that -..
If that underwear episode bothered you so much, why ask me to stay even longer? Unfortunately I think I know: you enjoyed the selfish comfort of having me around, as in me, someone who cared and shows it .
For the record: I did not 'sniff' around your place, but was in fact looking for an umbrella in the exact same place you told me to, therefore here you once again doubt me, my integrity.
It is important for me to be understood as Iam, and not be made into a caricature in someone elses's mind, as you did and sadly still do, by doubting my emotional balance, so there goes the trust (meaning down the drain) and this, I do not take lightly.

I could go on but it is probably pointless because you probably won't get my point and anyhow do not care at all about, 'being above it all'. In any case - this year already started with one big challenge, family related and I do not have any energy to disperse into correcting the distorted image someone has of me.

Maybe just one thing: you carefully avoid any word about emotions in the below...for such a clear spoken guy who doesn't usually beat around the bush that is quite curious-
- anyhow, for my part, I did wipe the ex-stuff with a huge sponge (keeping in mind I was actually involved in the double-'dating' and that person unfortunately not at all being in the past, but very much in my present unfortunately)! So, I gave you a huge 'joker', having lived through the thing, when I agreed to come. Had I known you were not as involved as you made me believe you were (and I did doubt, as you correctly assessed), and you just wanted me to undergo some "trial runs", it would have been nice to know beforehand, I never would have come. I clearly stated what I wanted and deserved but only learned via skype weeks after my return that you were not in love with me.
You not only cut me off completely, but didn't even make the effort to understand what happened, meaning: no respect, whatsoever, not even as a friend. Whichever your personal situation, you don't just do that to a person who has shown you as much loyalty as I have. I have not even found an apology anywhere, where did that get lost, missed the last bus?
The story tought me, I guess. A guy I barely know, last year saw right through my smile, saw my distrust and even asked me to give at least a chance to people - that says it at, doesn't it?

(...as mentioned, haven't sent it yet -)

omg....not even finished reading it but you must absolutely not send that to him!!! i'll elaborate when i've read it all.

"Do you really think that you would have liked to be with someone like the way you were back then? Well from what i saw in you aloud me to say no."

listen amber, he's actually giving you a tiny ray of hope here if you want to be with this man. he wants you to own what you did wrong and show him that it is not the person you are, but only if that is the case. you have to be sincere and honest with both yourself and this man. i can see you are trying to do that in your response but it's coming out all wrong and sounds like you're way too defensive which is kinda like saying that as far as you're concerned, you did nothing wrong. these are my comments about your response:

1. you make excuses for being sensitive to alcohol so why did you drink at all? you drank so much you couldn't even remember what was said!! it all sounds a bit like pulling at his heartstrings with the bit about the hospital too. don't EXCUSE that behaviour APOLOGISE for it. what you did was out of character and it was WRONG. own it.

2. your tone is sneering and sarcastic....it sounds bitter and you sound defensive. it doesn't sound like you regret your behaviour at all and it lacks sincerity.

3. you keep knocking his ego and asking him to view things from your perspective. you don't acknowlege HIS perspective once. you are in denial of your part in this.

4. his "doubting your emotional balance"...in the first paragraph, you've already excused your emotional state citing your hospital stay as the reason for it. why can't you admit that there was something to doubt from his point of view.

think carefully what to write and make sure you're not being reactionary and that you're speaking from the heart.

R1g0rM0rT1s, you're right about many things. My tone IS sarcastic and bitter because that's the way I felt when getting his mail after such a long silence and after him ending our 'relationship' by two or three text messages (as I'm writing, I can hear myself getting bitter again...)but it doesn't help or bring out my sincerety - I re-read it and it's true. your detailed feedback made me see with more perspective, thank you.

True also, I haven't owned up to my mistakes and I should say so. Same as point 1. I tried alcohol for tension relief (while injured) and it was not a good idea, I should not have tried that again.

I heard his perspective and was taken by surprise for a couple of things, since we actually talked about the underwear 'finds' while I was there in detail, it was a good honest talk and I was suprised he threw that back. Same with his ex: he brought it up (I was already surprised then), I was 'through' with her/ had no concerns at all about her, it's the 'ex before' her, I expressed some concerns about (she did treat him badly and he hung on), but I was treading carefully there with opinions, because I well knew that what matters is the here and now and not whom we've been with; Iam sure though, he's referring to the french ex, the last one, so I don't see why he imagines any annoyment (maybe I can include that better in my message)

I have to give it a few nights and will change my text - I see that too many emotions are stirred up now. It's also good advise to speak from the heart and not the way I do above, I need a calm moment and will take my time.

In the meantime he's send a link today (no text though, just a link) to an interview of a politician, not just to me, but to a handful of his closest friends as well. I think he wants become friends or something like that -

well, he is definately open to something i think. take your time and think about what to write and wait for a calm moment. all the time you find yourself getting worked up when thinking about what to write means that it is not time to put your thoughts into writing. try and look back and think about what you might have done and responded to differently and say something along the lines of........in retrospect, i realise my drunken behaviour back then was inappropriate and not representative of who i am. you don't have to embellish with reasons as to why that is or even go on to say the actual word sorry but just to accept that the guy had a point in leaving you when he did. you had a little meltdown and he freaked out.

continue to respond calmly, sincerely and with RELEVANCE to any communication from him and he may be reminded of the woman he was originally attracted to.

do you still want him? what are your feelings in this?

ok, I wrote and send it. I took the basis, but took lots of parts off, the sneering comments and stood up for my mistakes. I reread it yesterday and today and the last corrections were made with 'a peaceful heart' (if ever that makes any sense...)
I felt better, softening up and felt more like a big sister, explaining kindly to her brother....or someting like that.

Before sending it, I received another mail - politics related and agin one, he sent out to this bunch of closest friends.

So that's that.
In parallel, I yesterday received word from his friend (mine also, we've grown closer - unfortunately he's gay 😉, just to congratulate me for my b-day. I corrected him because I still have a couple of days before that and from then, we exchanged a bit. He finally in length told me about strong disagreements he and 'my' guy had - over business. We talked also about his personal situation so I'm just picking out the part related to the guy. It turns out, his situations seems not so 'in order' right now, I have no idea if he's going to work where he's done for many years before. I also learned he was in my country and town, maybe still is. So that may have triggered him contacting me now.

Do I still want him? Iam not sure, because my fear of again becoming an emotional mess with him dominates.
I also spent a lot of time thinking about him as a person last year and Iam not sure he's ready and mature enough for a relationship, even if he seems to be when you listen to him.
I already feel very vulnerable because for the huge family problem in my country of origin, a problem, Iam doing the best I can to work on, and cannot afford to lose any focus or strengh by having my heart beat for someone and let myself fall into emotion.
I also do not want a long distance relationship with him -

I forgot to say I much appreciated your feedback yesterday on this R1g0rM0rT1s, it helped to turn my anger around into something more constructive and brought me down from 'my high horse', so thank you 🙂

oh boy, I just learned the truth: he's in my country, in my town, with...his EX!! ..;with which he has upheld a relationship all the time! His friend told me. I already found it surprising she turned up on the island A week or so after I left, she may have surprised him then but he restarted with her! Doesn't even love her but wants someone in his life! (he told his friend and unfortunately I believe him)

Why on earth did he contact me?
Why am I getting worked up and feel cheated upon?

I was fair in my response - now I nearly wish I'd kept my sneering and sarcastic tone - Iam nearly shaking writing this.
Such an .....! Now I have to calm down and start the forgetting process once again.
HE contacted me, and out of politeness I responded 4 days later and it's ME again feeling bad, sh....!

Iam about to just send him "Please do not contact me agin, I think you well know why"

Promised his friend not to tell him I know he's here but he's definitively nuts, contacting me again - as last year, while he was still with this woman....D?j?? vu all over again!

i think you're right. time to implement the no contact rule. don't even send what you plan to send. just respond to what you've been told with silence towards the leo. he'll figure it out eventually and he'll be surprised that perhaps you aren't as available as he thought you were gonna be.

perhaps he's not happy with the ex (if she ever truly was an ex) but that doesn't mean he can go prodding around you again to see if you're happy to be on the backburner again.

you said it yourself. d?ja vue. don't let it happen. just hit the ignore button but don't tell him you're gonna do it cos it sort of defeats the object. the main point of ignorning someone is to protect yourself and not in the hope they will beg you to change your mind. perhaps even block his email. make it known through your silence that you are not interested in a repeat performance.

you've been rejected once already. what is he trying to do exactly apart from set you up to be rejected again.

reject HIM first. don't acknowledge him.

You're perfectly right.

I just read your response having come back from speaking online with his friend/ business partner - whom I appreciate and who is not afraid to speak clearly. He even told me more: in one of the post from last year I meantioned that while on skype with the guy last year I asked if he wanted me to come to his b-day in august - he hesitated and then admitted he didn't want to. I was surprised because we were still in active contact. Now I know why: SHE, the ex was there! And had been since several times. No so ex after all.....
It is irrelevant now since i already felt it was no good before these new news, but I think I told you because I had to take in a lot of information the past days and the final 'bomb' today and I needed to vent badly.
He clearly has a problem - told everyone he would go to see her because even if he doesn't love her, well, so he would at least have 'someone' during winter, how f..up is that? And sends me an email, telling me Im fussed about his ex...

I will do as you say, not respond at all. Your option is better than sending what I planned to.
I remember last year Jonleo saying he was bad news, now I finally see. Glad not to let him come any closer.


Honestly, I never thought I'd ever come back to this thread I opened...happy it was still there so you could get the whole backround quickly 😉

I'm grateful you have been there for me!
Here it's the evening and a good time to rest, put the thing behind me and start tomorrow afresh with my family issue - have a good rest of the day and many thanks!

haha....actually, i'm about to go to bed! i think you are doing the right thing. it's bullshit that you just don't need in your life. something similar happened to me and a leo like your birthday party scenario. he sent out invites on fb, which he had opened an account with to track me down in the first place, i accepted and immediately, he went quiet. turned out his ex was already on her way back to the country before going to his party. when i took him off my friends the day after it, although i tried not to look, the first picture i saw was of him and his ex at the party...beaming smiles. in this case, they remain exes as they live in different countries.

however, another of his exes who is also the mother of his kids, is his best friend. it's good that they're close because of there being kids involved but i have this theory that he gets all he wants from a woman without commitment from his ex and so he treats the women he's supposed to be involved with like hangers on, company and convenient sex.

when a man isn't truly detached from his ex, it speaks trouble to any woman thinking of becoming involved.

let him go and fuck someone else around. he's playing with women to inflate his ego without offering anything in return. if he consistently behaves like this, he will wind up alone or in a relationship that is nothing more than fwb as it completely lacks emotional investment on his part.

use the fact he wants you back as a way to empower yourself against him. you're in the driving seat now babe. kick him to the curb. if he wants you that much, he'll know what he needs to do to win you 🙂

thanks for your feedback last evening (got it right now 😉 )!

It really IS similar! 'Double game' played....and I think in this case also he's keeping his ex (es) around so he wouldn't ever have to be lonely or without sex. I naively thought that had stopped after 'Us', that he felt he had something good and healthy but he went back to being the guy who can't keep his pants closed. No good.

It's sad for him really. I told his friend yesterday that he reminds me of a leaf in the wind, just letting himself be carried in life by adventures, keeping his comfort zone - and in general dealing with what comes to him without making his own decisions and sticking to them. I wouldn't want someone like that.


I have thought about blocking his mail, but unless I really feel Iam getting weak and tempted to respond, I'll let them come through; same for fb, I several times nearly clicked on 'unfriend' yesterday, but I'll just let him be there - after all he was part of my life at some point -
Hopefully he doesn't contact me on my b-day (it's friday), I tend to get a bit mellow and generous on these days 😉

Are you ok, have gotten your emotional strenght back from your experience?

yeah, i'm good now. it took a while though because i'm just not used to being fucked around by men. also, it was a bad time for me when i met him and my bullshit filter had gaping holes in it. i believe it was a karmic thing as i've not been the nicest person in my dealings with men.

if i were you, i would take him off facebook because he will actually know you've done it.

and when you're feeling mellow and generous, if he contacts you, keep in mind the way he's made you feel for the last year. you know you don't want him but your ego allows you to give him a chance to want you because it replaces the feeling of rejection he left you with before. this is all about him. make it all about you.

let him go and fuck someone else around. he's playing with women to inflate his ego without offering anything in return. if he consistently behaves like this, he will wind up alone or in a relationship that is nothing more than fwb as it completely lacks emotional investment on his part.

Hi Amber,

I agree with R1gormort1s on this. He sounds like an assclown. I've read this whole thread and it's similiar to a situation that I'm going through right now as well. The assclown is trying to reinsert himself back into my life for an ego boost. I've found Natalie's baggage reclaim site to be helpful and she keeps me grounded in reality when I start having weak moments. The biggest thing to remember is we have to see them for who they really are. Even if they were completely different when we were dating them. He is showing you another side to his personality and this is who he really is. It's hard to forget all of the good times and the closeness that you think you had with someone. It's hard to let go. But it must be done for something else better to come into our lives. Wishing you the best.

http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/

Posted by R1g0rM0rT1s
my bullshit filter had gaping holes in it.

LOL!

texasleo, thank you for your feedback and link-

R1g0rM0rT1s, what you say about the ego makes perfect sense and you put it really well - if I'm honest with myself, I already do wish him to regret the good thing we had/ or at least me, as someone special - still doesn't mean I want him back, not even as a friend.


When you say 'making it all about me' and not him, well, that's very true and even extends further than just him, it's a sentence I should live a bit more by in general, I tend to lack in selfishness -