Painful Holiday

Tonight marks the night of my 2 year engagement anniversary with my now ex-lover..

**trigger warning**

It also marks the anniversary of my Uncle, who hung himself from the outdoors chimney.



Aqua knows all of this. While laying together last night Aqua said he'd make himself available to me all day if I 'needed' him. He also said something about a 'stupid party' later on in the evening and /something/ like him rather being with me, anyway.

I think being alone later won't be healthy for me and think I may inquire to see his thoughts/stance on it. I just don't want to make him feel smothered. But.. I don't know - my heart is sad. 😢

Ah dear Huntress,

You are such a lovely flower 🙂 You make me smile with your incredible presence. What a joy it is to see someone who though so young is so aware and in touch with her feelings. You impress me, just so you know.

I am sorry for the lost of both your ex and your uncle. Such a tragic loss, suicide. I agree totally with Seraph....embrace the place where you are. For we don't get over things, or around them, but we get through them. Close your eyes, make a wish and plod on through. Because on the other side is......Oz.

xoxo

I didn't respond because I was so touched.

After each individual post.. I cried. I couldn't help it. This is one of the few places where I drop my guard and the ice queen act isn't my primary mode of function. So crying and being emotional is not very typical for me, in that sense.

So thank you, for each individual response. Each meant something special to me in its own unique way, and I will always carry that with me, in my heart (e.e. cummings reference 😉 just saying). I'll pull it out when I need to be reminded again. 🙂

Thank you, so very much.