Are you jealous or possessive?

This topic was created in the Libra forum by LibraLove on Monday, September 20, 2010 and has 15 replies.

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@LibraLove
16 YearsLibra

I've had a few guys get upset with me over how indifferent I acted when they TRIED to make me jealous.
Truth be told, I was jealous, but I kept things cool and apathetic on the surface.

With myself, I find I have a passive kind of jealousy which rules out possessiveness.

When I become jealous,it isn't in my nature to try to win the guy back. Instead, I naturally drift away and internalize my feelings of anger or being hurt. Sometimes, those feeling stew and grow into resentment, which make me distance myself from the guy even further...without him every knowing there was a problem in the first place! Ah, it is after all part of trying to avoid conflict.

How about yourself? How do handle jealousy?

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@LibraSid
16 Years1,000+ PostsLibra

It takes a fair amount to make me jealous. Like others are saying, when I do get jealous I internalize it. I am not possessive. I don't care if the person I am with talks to other people or goes out without me. Your description of keeping it in although sometimes it grows too big is dead on. If I knew someone was trying to make me jealous I would probably tease them about trying to stir up drama and that would be the last I spoke of it.

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@nicodemus
19 Years1,000+ PostsLibra

No but I'm very protective so there are times when it may seem that way.

Hypocracy is also a trigger for me so there have been times in the past where if my partner became jealous or possesive over actions that were normal for them I would get pretty intolerant/combative.

Profile picture of Liberal777Libra
@Liberal777Libra
16 Years

LL, i would say you were not jealous at all. you were hurt and possibly disappointed in your own choices. i do/did the same things as you as a result. to me being jealousy is being distrustful without good reason, and placing social chains on your partner.

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@libra sun
16 Years1,000+ PostsLibra

Im not jealous although i do feel hurt when a guy wants to give someone else more attention then me, but i also have venus in scorpio so i think its more likey that then being a Libra. I never let it show though because I know im being stupid and the guy isnt doing anything wrong. Also for me to moan about it would be double standards because im the biggest flirt going! lol

Profile picture of 2tired2thinkofu
@2tired2thinkofu
16 Years

I guess that I'm with the board...i get jealous and withdraw.....just like i'm doing now...poor guy.

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@curious visitor
17 Years500+ PostsLibra

i'm super possessive, not as much jealous, though i guess i'm jealous in the way you describe. but yeah.

libras are diplomatic. therefore, we don't like to show our feelings. and if someone wants to see a certain feeling, we're even less likely to show it to them. we like to stay strong.

and like i said in the libras are conceited thread... libras aren't very competetive. if someone doesn't want us, we won't bust ass to win them over. we'll roll over and play dead. we'll fall for someone who seems to have fallen for us. we love it when people are all about us. and if someone isn't, we may wait it out a little while to be sure, but if it continues, we usually just move on. don't want me, i don't want you either.

venus in scorp here. i agree that outright possessiveness or jealousy probably comes more from scorp influences (and possibly also virgo influence, for those who've got them) rather than the libra sun.

Profile picture of beachkisses
@beachkisses
16 YearsCancer

Posted by LibraLove
I've had a few guys get upset with me over how indifferent I acted when they TRIED to make me jealous.
Truth be told, I was jealous, but I kept things cool and apathetic on the surface.

With myself, I find I have a passive kind of jealousy which rules out possessiveness.

When I become jealous,it isn't in my nature to try to win the guy back. Instead, I naturally drift away and internalize my feelings of anger or being hurt. Sometimes, those feeling stew and grow into resentment, which make me distance myself from the guy even further...without him every knowing there was a problem in the first place! Ah, it is after all part of trying to avoid conflict.

How about yourself? How do handle jealousy?

I act the exact same way as well. Libra rising/moon here. 🙂

Profile picture of jsharck
@jsharck
17 Years

cancersunleomoon123. yes, that does explain a lot!

as a leo woman I tend to try and get people jealous. who the crazy f'ed reason why too. another twisted leo thing. and that is what I did to the libra I've posted about in the past. oh, hello! could be another reason why he was very into things then backed away quietly but held on. i didn't get a response on the jealousy factor and tried again. interesting this aha moment.

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@zjv
16 YearsLibra

Damn straight I get jealous.

I think anyone who says they don't are either putting up a front or don't understand their emotions fully. Further, I feel that in attempting to convince yourself that you are impervious to feelings of jealousy can have negative repercussions for both parties.

There's several ways to react/deal with jealousy, none of which that I can think of are exactly... truly satisfying? I mean any way one chooses to react would most likely be done with the intent to make them self feel better - some sort of defense.

I def. withdraw to a point and try fronting a cool/collected exterior, as I feel it's the lesser of evils in terms of the many faces of jealousy. I sort of gauge on how to act on negative emotions based of an emotion's potential utility.

I mean, overall... I see jealousy as the lazy bum of the negative emotion world. It tries to slow us, to make us bitter, to make us unproductive. At least resentment or hate or some other kind of negative emotion can encourage a result or change in some form. Jealousy on the other hand encourages idle negativity.Jealousy concentrates on the other, not on the "me". No matter how much you care about another, it really is yourself that is most important person under the sun. Unless the "me" is satisfied, you cannot please others.

For this reason, I find a withdraw, passivity, fronting a calm exterior... things of this nature may be the best options. By reacting this way, you don't get ensnared in muck of jealousy. It's OK to be jealous to a point, just do it "right". You can be jealous in such a way that it can work towards something good for both parties. It's good to voice your feelings calmly, but after that... what else can you do? Possessiveness, kickin' n screaming, self-pity, or playing some kinda game, etc. probably will do no good.

Profile picture of jsharck
@jsharck
17 Years

Posted by cancersunleomoon123

Posted by jsharck
cancersunleomoon123. yes, that does explain a lot!

as a leo woman I tend to try and get people jealous. who the crazy f'ed reason why too. another twisted leo thing. and that is what I did to the libra I've posted about in the past. oh, hello! could be another reason why he was very into things then backed away quietly but held on. i didn't get a response on the jealousy factor and tried again. interesting this aha moment.

yeah,but at the same time leo and libra is supposed to be really compatible.

click to expand

we are. In some twisted way I ended up ending it since I didn't want to wait for him to get out of the silence and from what I read here is that prior to my trying to get him jealous part he was very in to what we had then drifted. not knowing until now I look back and now know it may have something to do with me that didn't allow it to move forward. if we are supposed to be together it will happen. if not then I keep on moving.

he's with someone now. Shes a cancer and from what I read that leo libra are more compatible compared to libra cancer. for now I just keep on moving but gosh darn it. I keep looking back.

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@U`C`ME
18 Years500+ Posts

Possession is different for different people. For me, it's my over protective nature kicking in, it doesn't mean I feel that I own a person in fact I know that don't and realize that I cannot control people. Possessive for in love means I wanna protect my lover...

Profile picture of leilaxxlovez
@leilaxxlovez
16 Years500+ Posts

i do exactly that. When im jealous i'll keep it in until it builds up,and slowly walk away. When they realize somethng is wrong,im busy enjoying smeone else's attention. Bt,im a cap...wth venus in aqua :-/

Profile picture of leilaxxlovez
@leilaxxlovez
16 Years500+ Posts

i do exactly that. When im jealous i'll keep it in until it builds up,and slowly walk away. When they realize somethng is wrong,im busy enjoying smeone else's attention. Bt,im a cap...wth venus in aqua :-/