I had to let him go... :(

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luvlylady2010
@luvlylady2010
14 YearsPisces

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For anyone that was following my other post "Need advice please!" I ended meeting up with the Libra today... I went on lunch and text him from where I was at and asked that if he was close by to come see me. He showed up a few minutes later. We sat and talked and it was just like old times and he acted the way he always has. He has never changed the way that he is towards me but the only thing that kills me is he says he is unsure about committing to me and I just take that so personal when he was supposedly 100 percent sure before.. So anyways, the lunch went fine and then when we walked back to my car and he was trying to kiss and hug me and asked what was wrong.. I told him that I just want things back to how they were and he said "you know what it is right now and I just don't know what to say.. it is what it is".. I tried to keep my composure but I couldn't.. I didn't get all crazy or anything but there were some tears and I just let him know how I felt and that I care about him too much to pretend that I am ok with just being friends or taking step backwards when we were supposed to be together. He says that he still cares about me and wants me in his life and that just because he isn't ready to commit to me right now that doesn't mean that he wants to end everything. I just can't wrap my head around how someone could want nothing more than to be with me and then have doubts about it.. It just hurts me so much and I take it personally.. I can't take my feelings "slower".. It's too late for that.. I already care so much about him! I can't pretend that I'm cool with taking a huge step backwards when I'm not cool with it! I told him that telling me things like that and constantly calling and texting me just gets my hopes up that things are going to go back to how they were before all this and that I just can't move on until he is out of my life completely. He said that he is not going to stop contacting me and he hopes that I don't stop but if I do he understands. I can tell that he still cares about me so I just don't understand why he is doing this. He says that it's not me it's just a whole bunch of stuff and that he wouldn't feel fair if I decided to commit to him and he wasn't all he was cracked up to be and then I would resent him. I resent him NOW for making all these promises to me and then letting me down!!
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luvlylady2010
@luvlylady2010
14 YearsPisces

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Thank you.. I feel good that I said what I had to say so that atleast I know that he tried.. He's going to be the one to have to eventually live with knowing that he let someone go that cared about him and who he cared about without even knowing why. Or maybe he wont regret it who knows.. I figure what is meant to be will be and if he cares about me as much as he says he will be back when he knows what he wants. If he does and I am still available at that time then maybe we can try again.. If not then oh well but I can not allow him to string me along until he is ready and risk being hurt again..
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luvlylady2010
@luvlylady2010
14 YearsPisces

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The hard part is that when he talks to me, holds me, EVERYTHING that he does still shows that he cares about me.. He is still calling me right back, texting me everyday, he came to see me today as soon as I asked. He still looks at me the same as he did before. Just the confusion thing hurts me.. I don't see how someone can be confused about wanting to be with someone that you care about.. Either you do or you don't!

I really don't want to play games but knowing he still has feelings for me I guess I'm kinda hoping that the distance with help him to decide what he wants and that he will come back.. I'm so confused.. Ugh.. I hope I don't live to regret this..


😢
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luvlylady2010
@luvlylady2010
14 YearsPisces

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Posted by KingofLibras
Aww if I was that libranoid guy I won't mind motorboating those lovely sweater puppies.


But then gain, maybe you are just too clingy? I mean if you tear up in public.. eh..



LOL.. Actually we were not in public anymore at this point.. I don't feel I was too clingy.. Even when I would say that I was busy or tired HE was the one that would push the issue and want to see me and HE is still the one who keeps calling and texting me when I try to ignore him.. HE is the one that is saying I will have to change my number or he will keep calling so I don't think it's that.
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luvlylady2010
@luvlylady2010
14 YearsPisces

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But anyways.. I DO KNOW that insecurity and crying and all that is unattractive and its not going to help.. I'm obviously not going to understand why he's having doubts now and that's another reason I feel its best to cut all ties for now. I'm not trying to make anyone feel sorry for me I am just genuinely confused after things had been going so well and he is still confusing me by refusing to let me go but at the same time saying he doesn't know if he's ready.. I'm just trying to understand that's all!
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luvlylady2010
@luvlylady2010
14 YearsPisces

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Posted by Shadows
By the way, he may very well care about you. That's not a sign of anything other than the fact that he cares about you. It doesn't mean he wants a relationship. 😢



Thank you! I completely agree! That's exactly what I told him today! I just wanted to let him know that I do care just in case he decides to come around but I am not accepting less than what he originally promised me and I will not wait for him!

I'm still hurt but feel better now that I got that off my chest!
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Stpatrickspisces
@Stpatrickspisces
15 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

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Posted by luvlylady2010
Posted by Shadows
By the way, he may very well care about you. That's not a sign of anything other than the fact that he cares about you. It doesn't mean he wants a relationship. 😢



Thank you! I completely agree! That's exactly what I told him today! I just wanted to let him know that I do care just in case he decides to come around but I am not accepting less than what he originally promised me and I will not wait for him!

I'm still hurt but feel better now that I got that off my chest!
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I commend you for that as well. It is a very hard thing to do and most women will just go on taking whatever they can get rather than insisting on what they really want and deserve. You don't deserve crumbs that just string you along a path that may never lead to what you are truly seeking. This may give him the push he needs to really figure that out and he may realize that you are the one he needs to commit to. The other side of the coin is that he may not realize this, he may still try and contact you and see what you will allow but if you are strong in your commitment to what you want you will move on and eventually you will find the one that can and will offer the commitment and love that you are seeking. So many times we get caught up with a man and we think there can be no one more perfect for us but they aren't willing to give us what we need so we just end up wasting years of our lives, when instead we could be available for the right one to come along. So many women miss out on really great men who are ready to have a serious relationship b/c we just won't let go and move on!
I wish you all the best and may you get what you are searching for in him or in someone else in 2011! 😉
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sweethearts
@sweethearts
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He broke down some barriers and you let yourself be a little more vunerable than you were ready for...and As soon as you start to let your guard down and open up he changes his mind but still wants you hanging on in there...

Your feelings are real and he isn't acknowledging what you are trying to say. His blaming everything on himself is purely to ease his own guilt at letting you down. How can you resolve something when only one of you is working on it??

I believe you need to let him go... Maybe he will come around again but don't let that be your main focus. He knows where you are at and how to get you back and that you are worth the effort!
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luvlylady2010
@luvlylady2010
14 YearsPisces

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I commend you for that as well. It is a very hard thing to do and most women will just go on taking whatever they can get rather than insisting on what they really want and deserve. You don't deserve crumbs that just string you along a path that may never lead to what you are truly seeking. This may give him the push he needs to really figure that out and he may realize that you are the one he needs to commit to. The other side of the coin is that he may not realize this, he may still try and contact you and see what you will allow but if you are strong in your commitment to what you want you will move on and eventually you will find the one that can and will offer the commitment and love that you are seeking. So many times we get caught up with a man and we think there can be no one more perfect for us but they aren't willing to give us what we need so we just end up wasting years of our lives, when instead we could be available for the right one to come along. So many women miss out on really great men who are ready to have a serious relationship b/c we just won't let go and move on!
I wish you all the best and may you get what you are searching for in him or in someone else in 2011! 😉



Thank You and I agree!!
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luvlylady2010
@luvlylady2010
14 YearsPisces

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Posted by sweethearts
He broke down some barriers and you let yourself be a little more vunerable than you were ready for...and As soon as you start to let your guard down and open up he changes his mind but still wants you hanging on in there...

Your feelings are real and he isn't acknowledging what you are trying to say. His blaming everything on himself is purely to ease his own guilt at letting you down. How can you resolve something when only one of you is working on it??

I believe you need to let him go... Maybe he will come around again but don't let that be your main focus. He knows where you are at and how to get you back and that you are worth the effort!



EXACTLY.. I let my guard down because he promised me that he was 100% ready to commit and because he told me that he wants nothing more than to be with me.. Even when I would ask him if he was SURE he was ready he would say "Yes! I am waiting for you please hurry up!!".. He would tell me that he would do ANYTHING to get me to commit to him as soon as possible and to please not take long.. I can go on and on about the things that he told me and he just seemed so sincere and that's why I'm having such a hard time understanding, I had no doubts whatsoever that he meant every word and I felt safe letting my guard down with him.

NOW he says that we just moved too fast and doesn't understand why we can't go back to a few months ago and start from there again. He doesn't want to stop seeing me or doing the same things we were doing but that's unacceptable to me. I only did the things that I did with him because we had already planned to be together. I told him if he wouldn't have said that's what he wanted to begin with I wouldn't have cut off all my other options and put all my effort into only being with him.

And you are SO RIGHT.. That's the EXACT feeling that I get.. It's not that he truly understands or feels bad about what he did I think that he is just feeling guilty and wants to feel better about himself and make himself for what he did and wants me to think it's OK so HE can feel better. And I think that even though he isn't sure he's ready to commit that he still wants to string me along "just in case". He actually got kinda mad yesterday when I mentioned him letting me go so that I can find someone else who does want to be with me and he said that if I'm going to do that anyways why can't
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luvlylady2010
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he said that if I'm going to do that anyways why can't I just start over with him.. He doesn't get it. He set an expectation with me and I can't just stop the way that I feel now and start over.

Oh well.. I am not waiting for him. I am focusing on MYSELF and getting back to where I was before I met him. If he comes around again I'll decide then but I'm really hoping to just get over him and find someone better so that when/if that day comes I wont even want him back anymore. I don't think I could ever trust him again anyways after going from one extreme to another like that overnight with no explanation other than being confused.
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luvlylady2010
@luvlylady2010
14 YearsPisces

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Sweet fish.. your problem is that the guy is young, scared to hurt you if he gets attracted to someone else. I've been there, and I don't want to hurt the girl but I know I am not perfect, and that I might someday fall for someone else and you'll get hurt. Its a matter of 'what if', but its not your fault. The original feeling of 'I want this girl so bad' is real, and he didn't lie to you, but once a guy gets you he no longer chases after you.. that why libra-pisces doesn't work out. You are too easy to seduce, and you are giving and forgiving.

If it was an aquarius-libra, he would be chasing after her so much for so long, eventually he would just say its impossible. Then he would try again. And so aqua-libra works, because even though we libras hate aquas so fucking much, we love that they won't give in even more



Yeah I agree I gave in too easily. He says that if I wouldn't have taken so long that he wouldn't have had second thoughts but I don't believe it. I'm not going to allow it any longer though.. I blocked him on my Facebook, deleted my MySpace and I don't intend on responding to his calls or texts anymore. I know it will be hard to resist him if I keep in contact with him because he still keeps telling me things to make me believe there is a chance and keeps trying to hug and kiss me like we are together. It really seems like even if he doesn't want me anymore that he will do anything to keep me wanting him.. I'm exhausted trying to figure this guy out. I may forgive and put up with things for a little while just so I can have the piece of mind of knowing that I tried so I won't have regrets later but I know what I have to do at this point nomatter how hard it is I refuse to let ANY guy continually hurt me..
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luvlylady2010
@luvlylady2010
14 YearsPisces

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Posted by KingofLibras

Sweet fish.. your problem is that the guy is young, scared to hurt you if he gets attracted to someone else. I've been there, and I don't want to hurt the girl but I know I am not perfect, and that I might someday fall for someone else and you'll get hurt. Its a matter of 'what if', but its not your fault.
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Thanks for your responses. Regardless of who the girl is wouldn't he be worried that he might get attracted to someone else and hurt her??

You know he did say yesterday that I am taking it the wrong way and that he just got so caught up with wanting to be me that he didn't stop to think that he just isn't ready to settle down with ANYONE right now.

I knew from the moment I met him that I would fall for him but I didn't want to because of just this reason now, I was scared to get hurt. I didn't let him know that though and it actually took me 3 months before I gave in and called him and over a month of seeing each other daily and already planning on being together before even I slept with him. Maybe that's what initially made him want me so bad but then once I gave in I really GAVE IN and I think the reality hit him and scared him off.

Now that I am thinking... when I met him he had already been single for months... When I called him 3 months later he was still single and now that I think of the past conversations that we've had I remember him mentioning that his ex complained that he couldn't commit after 2 years and living together. He still to this day has nothing bad to say about her and says that he doesn't even know why he didn't want to be with her anymore.

I guess I'm just going to have to stop trying to figure out why this happened and what I did wrong and accept the fact that he really just isn't ready and isn't the one for me.

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luvlylady2010
@luvlylady2010
14 YearsPisces

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Posted by sweethearts
Good luck love and keep strong... Now that you have made this decision your Libra will start second guessing himself and may step it up again!!! Know that this is because of his own self satisfaction and if you want him still.... Make him lay all the foundations again!



Thank You for being so sweet! 🙂 I will try my best to stay strong and not give in anytime soon! And I do know it is only because of his own self satisfaction so hopefully I will just find someone better and forget him.. 🙂