I want my Libra ex bf back

Hello lovely Leebs, and others 🙂

FINALLY! A Libra post from me that is not about the young Libra lover I have been going on about for aaaaaaaages! Kinda over that right now... because... I want my Libra ex bf back.

Some back ground info: We met when I was 20, started hanging out and we got into a relationship, on and off for around 4 years. On and off because we were young and didn't want the same things from life at the time. I was outgoing and loved partying and dancing and travelling and he was social too... just wasn't the kind to dance or party when we went out and he would never travel with me when ever I went away. My mum used to tell me, "he's really nice, but if you want to live a 'small' life then stay with him". She always told me I am larger than life... nicest thing she's ever said to me!

Anyway... I left him because I felt he was boring and I wanted someone exciting. So that ended when I was around 24. I am now 35 and we came into contact again at the end of 2012.

over the past decade I have had other bfs and lovers and he was engaged and has had other gfs. When his fiance left him for someone else at the end of 2012, he reached out for friendship and we started chatting and hanging out again. I wasn't in the space yet where I was ready for another relationship, and still had my hands full with a few lovers. HE was obviously still hurt by his fiance leaving him and so I decided to be there for him.
Then his fiance came crawling back, and our friendship dissipated. Until she left him again for someone else about 6 months later. I knew by then already that I would date him again as we now seem to want the same things in life and have the same outlook in life. I asked him 'hypothetically' if he would ever date me again and he said because we seem to have the same outlook in life and we still got along really well and were still comfortable around each other. But because his pain was still so fresh and new, I decided to hand back some more and just be there for him as a friend.

I felt building a friendship with him was important because I wanted us to build a trust in each other if any possibility of a relationship wants success.

WELL! Like next thing I know, he goes away to a music festival for a weekend and that Monday when he got back, he changed his relationship status to 'in a relationship' with some random new chick... I was like "UM... HEllo! Who exactlyare you in a relationship with?" He said he and this girl (another Libra) hooked up at the music fest and he decided to go with the flow of it because it felt right.

So... I felt like a dumbass for thinking he needed time to heal after his fiance left him the second time, and then he gets into a relationship so quickly! ANYWAY! I was still there for him as a friend even though I now knew I wanted him to be my man.

He spoke to me the night they had their first fight and I told him straight that if things don't work out with her, I am up for giving us another go because after everything I have experienced over the past decade, I know he is the man for me, and I told him it's only a matter of time before he realises we were made for each other.

His reply: "I do think it's something crazy that we have crossed paths again." I asked him if my confession made him feel awkward and he said no, not at all.

However, he said he wanted to give it a go with the new girl. We had made plans to hangout and I said I didn't feel it would be right for me to hang out with them or meet her now that I told him I want him back as it would be two faced of me. And he said he wouldn't be doing right by her by hanging out with me alone knowing I want him back...

So I pretty much said that there was no point in us even being in contact at that point and we should just part ways again because I wanted him to have a fair chance at it without me ending up being the reason for them not working out. If it didn't work out, it needed to be of its own accord and not because of anything I did.

So we didn't speak again from last September until like 2 weeks ago.

I was a miserable mess over the young libra lover I've had going on for the past two years and all my friends (and you guys) are over hearing about it, so I thought I'd send him a message and vent to him... But I decided before sending the message that I wouldn't ask about his relationship. It went like this:
Me: "Hello! Been a while! Thought I'd see how you are doing? Hope you don't mind? I know it's completely out of the blue!"
Him: Hey hey, how are you? I'm doing fine thanks. Don't mind at all"
Me: Lol... I am completely miserable right now! Busy tearing my hair out over that young Libra I was still on about ages ago!"
He asked me some questions about that situation and then he said: "Well I broke up with XXXXXX and she went a bit nuts on me. I ended up telling her we shouldn't speak and after getting a few emotional messages I blocked her"

Then he said "I just lost feelings toward her and she tried all sorts to get me to stay.
Me: "Oh dear, I am sorry.
Him: No need to be sorry. I knew it wasn't going to work

blahblahblah... some more banter... catching up on what's new in each others lives since we last spoke... and we've been chatting since.

Each time he asks me if I've been in contact with the younger Libra and I've said no. It's the truth.

BUT HOW WEIRD THAT I MESSAGED HIM LIKE A MONTH AFTER HE BROKE UP WITH THAT GIRL!!!—

Anyway... what do you guys think? How do I suss out of he's keen (he works in another country right now btw... plans on being back in this country full time at the end of this year. Until then, he is back here every two months or something) to give us another go? I still think building a friendship and establisging trust is really important here...

I also feel like I don't want to charge too hard and just go straight in for the talk at this early stage of talking again. Like... we're chatting, but I feel like it's pretty obvious why I'm still chatting to him... because I want to see where he's at now and hopefully end up back together with him living happily ever after... I would give this one the babies he wants and be a good wifey. He deserves my best side. He's a good man and trustworthy.

We've been through a lot together. HE stood by me the whole time I was in and out of hospital with cancer when I was 23... He was with me when my grandfather died...

BASICALLY: My entire family is rooting for us to get back together and live happily ever after!
And I just know his family would be happy about it too... apparently his mother used to call one of his gfs after me by my name instead, accidentally!

It's true, the way to a Libra's heart is humour! And good food. 😉

I see the ball is in his court. He knows you are single and you also made clear to him what you would like for the future and now that he is single, let him make his own mind up and let him come to you.

I think you feel the time is right but I'm not sure that he shares that??_last time he decided to explore what he had with the other girl even though he knew it wasn't going to work out and he knew you wanted to be with him. This says a lot!

Sooo, because you thought he was boring the first time around, took off and had your floozie fest with the string of guys you played with, realized that it's nothing, you now want to give him a second chance?

I'd also question how into you he'd be since he was shacking up with that Libra chick as a rebound, because face it, that's what it was. It's good for YOU that he got with her first because you would have been a total rebound. However, someone else easily took your place because she made his penis happy for a weekend (wtf is it with Libras doing that shit??). Who's to say he won't do that again?

All in all, I think you're jumping in for all the wrong reasons. The entire thing screams desperation from both of you and it sounds like the only reason you two want to try again is because you're just there and you're both still reeling from issues from previous lovers/whoever. I also can't help but think that you're hell bent on this to help get over the other Libra dude.

Why don't you take some time to be single? Not single and fucking whatever guy shakes his dick at you, but truly single and away from emotional bs for awhile? The way all of this is coming off from you seems a rather immature mindset. :/

But knowing you, and I have no idea why you ask for advice since you never follow anything suggested to you, you're gonna jump in anyway because your vagina can't handle not being alone for some strange reason. I'd suggest taking it slow. Very slow. Especially considering you ditched the Libra the first time around.

Haha... Rocky... I knew you'd be round. When I was doing the intro to the post and said hello to all the leebs and others, I actually wanted to say "and Rocky"... haha... but didn't want to assume you'd just read it and contribute.

All through the years, after leaving him, I did what I needed to do and I'm glad I did... but I got to the point, before we got back in contact, where I realised there was actually nothing wrong with our relationship and that I left for silly reasons. I'm npt gonna hate on myself for it tho... I also accepted he was marrying someone else and took it as a lesson learnt for if I was ever lucky enough to meet someone that awesome again. We were both different people back then. I certainly didn't know my ass from my elbow or who I was as a person. Today I do. When we were together back then, I asked him if we had a future together and he said he wasn't sure. After 4 years of being together I felt he should at least have a clue... and I left.

We've both had other experiences now and I think we would both be great together now.

As for my vagina... IT actually has no problem being alone for a while. I even told him I am in the mood to be celibate for a while as I am over random hook ups and quite protective over my sex now. The other Libra and this other Leo have shown me that I want a nuturing and loving environment to express love in and not just be a release for someone anymore. There has been a major shift in me, sexually over the past couple of months.

Other posters, you are right. keep it light and humoured! Even if it were someone new, that would be my approach. I can do humour, but not the food for now! Since he is in another country. I'm also not going to just assume he's into going there with me. If, with time through forging a friendship and building trust, it goes that way, I'll be so happy, but if it doesn't then that's just the way it is and I will accept it.

I am also always that much more into someone when they know how to make me laugh. Strange how that is such a big thing... as someone might know how to make someone laugh, but then also smack them around. There are other bigger things that factor that will over rule the humour attraction... but finding someone who makes you laugh is awesome!

I want mine back too

Posted by Sagg101
I want mine back too

Says the 101 reasons chick.

If you're making threads about reasons not to date a Libra guy, you probably shouldn't get back with that dude.

...it's not unusual to want that just after the split, but once you see all the fucked up bs from a past relationship, I don't understand why you'd want that person back. You're just pining over the good that went away, thus forgetting all the shit that made it go to hell to begin with.

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by Sagg101
I want mine back too

Says the 101 reasons chick.

If you're making threads about reasons not to date a Libra guy, you probably shouldn't get back with that dude.

...it's not unusual to want that just after the split, but once you see all the fucked up bs from a past relationship, I don't understand why you'd want that person back. You're just pining over the good that went away, thus forgetting all the shit that made it go to hell to begin with.

click to expand

LOL! True! It's sooo common for people to do that though, that is forgetting all the bad and just focussing on the attachment factor to wanna get back with the same shit hole. Lol

Posted by aquarius09

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by Sagg101
I want mine back too

Says the 101 reasons chick.

If you're making threads about reasons not to date a Libra guy, you probably shouldn't get back with that dude.

...it's not unusual to want that just after the split, but once you see all the fucked up bs from a past relationship, I don't understand why you'd want that person back. You're just pining over the good that went away, thus forgetting all the shit that made it go to hell to begin with.

LOL! True! It's sooo common for people to do that though, that is forgetting all the bad and just focussing on the attachment factor to wanna get back with the same shit hole. Lol

click to expand

The bad and the flaws don't necessarily mean that someone should stay away from someone or something. We all have flaws, all relationships do. It's part of it. It's part of life. we didn't have a bad relationship, it's more like bad timing and external events. i've thought about the bad and i've thought about the good but still miss him like crazy. it's like parents and friends. They can do bad things but at the end of the day I love them and wouldn't want them any other way

Posted by Sagg101

The bad and the flaws don't necessarily mean that someone should stay away from someone or something. We all have flaws, all relationships do. It's part of it. It's part of life. we didn't have a bad relationship, it's more like bad timing and external events. i've thought about the bad and i've thought about the good but still miss him like crazy. it's like parents and friends. They can do bad things but at the end of the day I love them and wouldn't want them any other way

He's an ex for a reason, as cliche that is, and these guys are good at sucking you in with that superficial charm. Just because your lady bits are pining for the good that went away doesn't necessarily mean that pining is legitimate. It's a normal thing to do during the post break up mourning process, though.

I went through the same thing with the previous Libras I was involved with. Sure, you can chalk it up to "external" events and timing, but it clearly wasn't working at the time. Now that enough time has passed, and I've been through the whole mourning process and then some, I really don't see myself with them again, especially after I went through that whole wishful thinking of getting back together stage we ALL go through. Sure, things were nice when it was good, but in the long run, they fucked things up and treated me badly. People like that do not deserve second chances, let alone secretly being pined for. They don't deserve the headspace, tbh.

If, some day, fate brings you back together, so be it. But your comment just reflects of the stage of "mourning" you're going through post break up, which was my point. Women are notorious for blocking out the crap and focusing on the good ("ignoring flaws"), which is why they get so caught up in wanting the dude back/go back to questionable situations.