Do Librans hold grudges?

This topic was created in the Libra forum by BlueAries23 on Sunday, March 9, 2014 and has 22 replies.

Profile picture of Montgomery
@Montgomery
13 Years10,000+ Posts

I honestly read that as "Librarians." 😄

I've seen a Leeb have a concrete opinion on someone, but it wasn't really a grudge.

It was more like acceptance that these folks would not change.

They weren't ugly to the people, they just associated with them as little as possible.

Idk if that pertains to all Leebs, of course.

Profile picture of LIb4Life
@LIb4Life
12 Years500+ Posts

Posted by Montgomery
I honestly read that as "Librarians." 😄

I've seen a Leeb have a concrete opinion on someone, but it wasn't really a grudge.

It was more like acceptance that these folks would not change.

They weren't ugly to the people, they just associated with them as little as possible.

Idk if that pertains to all Leebs, of course.

"montgomery" you're dead on!! We generally don't hold grudges, but we won't fu% ^ with you anymore either.
If for some reason, we still have to remain in contact with you (such as family, co-worker, etc.), we'll remain polite because that is our character,
but you will definitely notice the difference or the shift in treatment.
Most Libra's are some of the easiest folks to get along with, so once you cross that line, you will be treated accordingly.

Profile picture of MissLibra
@MissLibra
13 Years

It really depends on the infraction and how the other person handles themselves. I will let you know that you've upset me and leave it to you to correct.

If you've done something to/against me and you were wrong, simply admit it and apologize. We can move forward from there.

If you don't accept your responsibility, I will become cold but polite, if I HAVE to be (family, work), until you correct yourself.

If the infraction is irrepairable, I will shut you out like you do not exist. No contact whatsoever. Wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire and may even be vengeful if it's really really bad.

Profile picture of xtina
@xtina
17 Years1,000+ PostsAries

It really depends on what it is IME and with my Libra moon I would say most of the time no. It really depends upon the discretion made. Sometimes even if it was something really bad I feel (sans cheating that usually differs between individuals) that with a good sincere and logical apology a LIbra can forgive easily.

Profile picture of Shescomeundone
@Shescomeundone
12 Years500+ Posts

Posted by Lust
Yes. But you will never know it.

Here is a hint: when a libra starts acting flaky with you, that means he/she doesn't respect you anymore. It would be very subtle though.

Oh don't bother to point it out either, since he/she will deny it, so just move on.

^^^^
agreed

Profile picture of munchkin
@munchkin
12 Years1,000+ Posts

When it comes to petty arguments and nonsense like that, I might get snippy and blow them off, but after a little cool down time (minutes to days), if they approach me in a friendly, natural manner like usual, I'll have forgotten about it.

If they truly said or did something bad or inexcusably disrespectful (and I have pretty high standards when it comes to human decency), they're dead to me. I cut them off and don't look back. Even if they apologize, I still have a hard time trusting them in the future. So, YES...one could accuse me of "holding grudges", when in fact, I simply have zero tolerance for bs, and am not afraid to declutter my social circle.

Profile picture of rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Posted by Sugarfoot
I don't see what's so wrong with holding a grudge. It seems everyone is begrudgingly admitting to holding grudges 😉

When people fuck you over, they don't always deserve a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and infinity chance. Will I be nasty towards them? No, because its not really in my nature. I just don't deal with them at all. But, that IS holding a grudge.

Not necessarily.

Grudge- a persistent feeling of ill will or resentment resulting from a past insult or injury.
"she held a grudge against her former boss"

It's one thing to know who you should put at arm's length and disliking someone for being an asshole.

People who fuck you over, have already done it, you've grown tired of it, and you just won't bother anymore. You may or may not be upset with them, but you reach that "fuck it" phase and just stop bothering. Whether or not there's resentment or ill will involved is another story. But I'd think in these scenarios, you're more just "over it" and know not to allow this person any more involvment in your life for your wellbeing.

I don't think writing someone off for your own personal sanity counts as a "grudge." Being bitchy, catty, and avoidant of that person would fall more into the "grudge" category, imo.

Profile picture of fablibra
@fablibra
12 Years

Yes Yes and Yes.. I hold grudges mainly when someone hurt my feelings or betrayed me.. I dont try to get even over little fights it has to be major for me to hold a grudge

Profile picture of rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
14 Years10,000+ Posts

I think it's a basic human reaction, though.

I saw a former Libra friend/coworker today at work. I didn't bother going near her or even acknowledge her. It's like wtf are you doing here? That, and "keep yo crazy ass away from me." :/

Profile picture of CreoleGeisha
@CreoleGeisha
12 Years500+ Posts

I am very forgiving of most offenses. If I do something wrong, I'd like to deserve forgiveness, so I try to give what I'd like to get.

That said, forgiveness does not mean I don't hold a grudge IF the offense is extremely harmful or painful (either to me OR to other/s I care about.) I won't dwell on the negativity of it longer than I have to, but I'll still be aware of it and it will impact how I treat the offender in the future.

A lot of people seem to believe that forgiveness "cancels out" the offense. That's BS. The offense and/or the harm/damage caused by the offense is quite real.

Profile picture of theGrinch
@theGrinch
13 Years

I do, but as others have said about 95% of the time it is very subtle. Generally speaking, I form an accurate opinion of someone within the first ten minutes of meeting them (or observing them). I've only been wrong twice. Once you've done something, depending on the severity and my general feelings towards you dictates when you get from me. It takes a lot, but the first sign is I'll treat you as if you were a stranger. Polite, but not going out of my way to listen to whatever is the issue in you're life at that time. I'll converse with those around you and if you choose to insert yourself into that conversation I'll politely listen and then go on with what I had planned to say. It will be enough for you to notice and know that I'm ticked, but not enough to where you are mad at me for doing so.

If you push me to the edge, i.e. I've done the above and also went out of my way to explain what has upset me (rare, but it happens) then you get the coldest shoulder you've ever gotten. I'll avoid you. If I'm forced to be around you (be it work or some social function that we both have to attend) you will get the 1000 yard stare. The nicety and politeness will not be there. The best description is really a mountain that rarely gets a storm, but when one roles in everyone knows about it. This has only happened to me a number of times and everyone who knows me knew someone messed up.

With all that, I forgive fairly easily sometimes when I shouldn't have, but also taking longer to forgive then it should have. The biggest disservice Libra's do to themselves is really our going with the flow. Our wanting to be liked means we let things slide that we don't like. Through no fault of your own (we didn't speak up) you continue to do what we don't like and eventually we explode. Some then give up on us, others (few do this) change the behavior, but the vast many will give a half-hearted apology and continue doing what they've always done.

Profile picture of peachey
@peachey
12 Years

Not this Libra, but I'm a cusper. I can't seem to stay upset at anyone for long, no matter how badly they've wronged me. My whole life I've found it pretty easy to move past negativity. Grudges are so burdensome.

Profile picture of LibraSid
@LibraSid
16 Years1,000+ PostsLibra

I don't get truly angry easily, when I do I don't get over it easily either. I forgive stupid shit quickly, I'll tell you it was dumb then move on. Grudges are reserved for major stuff and even then it's more of just cutting off than a grudge. I'm not bitter or angry, just done.

Profile picture of LIb4Life
@LIb4Life
12 Years500+ Posts

Posted by Montgomery
I honestly read that as "Librarians." 😄

I've seen a Leeb have a concrete opinion on someone, but it wasn't really a grudge.

It was more like acceptance that these folks would not change.

They weren't ugly to the people, they just associated with them as little as possible.

Idk if that pertains to all Leebs, of course.

No one could have explained it any better!!..You're dead on. Depending on why we have to interact with you such as (co-worker, family, etc)we may not stop talking to you, but we will deal with you as little as possible from here on out.