Insecurity

I've been having some inner-world trouble. I'm dating a GREAT guy. He's a Sag and we get along perfectly. He is demonstrative and romantic (but not too romantic). He never leaves me wondering, always calls or texts. He always makes an effort and it's wonderful to be with a man like that for a change.

Not always, but sometimes, I'm struck by a dibilitating insecurity that he will change is mind, he will cheat, he is faking it, or at its worst: is doing all three at once. These are COMPLETELY irrational feelings. I know, because it is me he's on the phone with or actually physcially with every night. He's told me he loves me for everything I am. I am typically a very confident person which is something my Sag said he loves about me as well. I haven't told him anything about my insecurities because of that, but also because I believe it is my problem and not his to try to fix.

I haven't had a serious relationship in 4 years. I've dated several people since then, but nothing lasted longer than 2 months. While I feel free to be completely myself around this man, I am sometimes nervous and unsure of myself. I think he senses it (though that may be the insecurity - I don't know!).

Any other Libras feel this way? Any ideas on how to make these feeling subside, I want to relax into this great relationship and feel like my usual confident self while in it.

You have withdrawn into yourself to assess your psychological states but I don't know how Libra typical this is from what I understand Virgo and Aquarius can be this way but considering yourself it might not specifically have anything to do with insecurity as much as introspection, my couple of cents:-)

STOP trying to Sabatage your new relationship!!!

Yes Librians do this there was a thread here a few months back and it seems like it's a librian thing to do. Your insecurities are coming from other failed relationships and you need to realise that if you bring this into your new relationship you will end up pushing him away!


I've been having some inner-world trouble. I'm dating a GREAT guy. He's a Sag and we get along perfectly. He is demonstrative and romantic (but not too romantic). He never leaves me wondering, always calls or texts. He always makes an effort and it's wonderful to be with a man like that for a change.

Listen to yourself and what you are saying here..just be happy and go with it.

I KNOW THAT SWEETHEARTS! It's the very last thing I want to do.

This may be hard to believe, but it's really hard to know how to stop doing it and start, as you say being happy and just going with it.

I put this up on the board for advice on how to do that, not to be told what I'm doing wrong. I already very well aware of that...

hello!

i'm sorry that you are feeling this way. i'm not sure this is a sign problem. i think it is a society problem.
society teaches us not to take things for granted, that things can go wrong at any moment, that people are basically liars and cheaters and good things never last. there are a lot of bitter nay-sayers out there who try to take away the happiness of other people. i think, understandably, this is getting to you and corroding your sense of how good the relationship is. unless your sag has given you any real indications that he is faking his emotions or wants another girl then it's safe to say that you have no reason to worry.

my sister said to me the other day that worries like these are actually survival instincts. it's our subconcious' way of telling us to look out for ourselves, not to get too comfortable, to be aware that we are lucky and that it could be taken away from us. these worries arise to help us look after ourselves, to be aware of anything that may harm us. they're like defences around your happiness. try to see your insecurities as healthy defences and nothing more. don't give them any more attention than that. it's a subconcious psychological thing and nothing more.
hope this helps 🙂

"it's our subconcious' way of telling us to look out for ourselves, not to get too comfortable, to be aware that we are lucky and that it could be taken away from us. these worries arise to help us look after ourselves, to be aware of anything that may harm us. they're like defences around your happiness. try to see your insecurities as healthy defences and nothing more. don't give them any more attention than that. it's a subconcious psychological thing and nothing more. "

Thanks, I will try that when this starts happening again. I appreciate it!

Maybe its ur turn ttotoa turn. yt

"it's our subconcious' way of telling us to look out for ourselves, not to get too comfortable, to be aware that we are lucky and that it could be taken away from us. these worries arise to help us look after ourselves, to be aware of anything that may harm us. they're like defences around your happiness. try to see your insecurities as healthy defences and nothing more. don't give them any more attention than that. it's a subconcious psychological thing and nothing more."

I often feel the same way a muse is feeling. I am a libra with a libra.Pretty much everything is going great in our relationship, weve been together for 2 years and we are expecting... He is quite possibly the best match and partner I could ask for and yet I feel all of these insecurities. I really like that adivice it hit home with me as well. Thank you both for posting 😉

Take a little comfort in understanding too that this isn't just a woman thing or a libra thing or even a libra woman thing or a libra woman thing. Everyone at some point or another questions the person who loves them most. It is easier to conjure up reasons for things to not work out than continue down the road of opening up and allowing yourself to be vulnerable at the expense of possibly of having to face those reasons some day.

It all comes down to trust and allowing yourself to believe, really believe that this other not only has your best interest in the front of their mind everyday but also that they feel it is in their best interest to be with you. It is one of those things that no one can ever really prove to you. You really have to let yourself accept the good more than you have to convince yourself to reject the bad.

I feel its also because of the knowledge that a Sag has a sort of 'freedom' vs commitment issue. It exists everywhere, but especially in Sag, because they represent that. I believe that time will tell for this. Also, talking and mutual understanding.

Update: My insecurities weren't COMPLETELY unfounded. He ended things with me yesterday...

It's strange, I took it hard yesterday, but woke up okay this morning. Like, I feel less like I was crazy and damaged and more like I could sense his change of heart.

He's not a jerk, btw. I just wasn't for him.

I dont date sags either, just because I know this will come up, and it won't work out. Find a domesticated sag, and you get a racehorse that may tear its ligaments.

Free spirit maybe, more like no feeling of security. Libras are free spirits too!
What can be said of sags? unpredictable, arrogant, unable to be tied down, etc etc. Talking about males!
I think Sags fit well with Pisceans.. very well. Librans, not so much, unless maybe a libra man, sag woman couple. Which wont last long either. Better off as fwens.

We dated for about 3 months.

My friends think he's feeling threatened...he lost his job and I am working along, doing just fine, I'm stable and just bought a new car etc.

I don't know about all that...I think that I'm just not right for him. Sags do love their freedom, and i think that they change their minds a lot as a they weigh what is most important to them.

He said he was confused about how he felt because he cares about me but doesn't see us in a long term relationship. he doesn't want to get "comfortable"

I never put the bind on him! I think he put it on himself, is allowing himself to believe I am looking for a certain type of relationship...and I am, but I don't think it's as tradational as he's made it out to be. He never even asked, just ran.

Very similar to an aqua I dated and loved a couple of years ago. Eerily similar.

I'm sorry to hear to that muse😢 I bet it had alot to do with him feeling unstable though. We like to be a 100% for people if we feel we aren't we just run away. Feel bad but he probably knows you desever better.

^Yeah

It's okay 2 sides. you're very right.

He said some things to me via text. He feels really guilty and bad and its obvious he cares about me. I dunno what to make of it. My heart and intuition tells me this is over for good. I also have never really been able to regain feelings for somebody once they're broken.

I wrote him an email telling him to get over feeling guilty. I don't think he's a jerk, and i don't think he should either. I told him I'm hurt and angry but that breaking up happens and I understand that.

It's strange, yesterday I felt so drained and lost, today, I feel like I have my power and confidence back. I don't understand how these things work...why now?