Libra indecision

How does one deal with the endless indecisiveness of a Libra man? I'm in college and recently fell for one, and he's now choosing whether he wants to continue our relationship or not after I suggested we stay friends while dealing with his upcoming graduation and relocation to another state. Except he's completely withdrawn and hasn't really spoken to me in days, leaving me very confused and annoyed (I'm a cancer woman so patience is a hard thing to come by at the moment, but I'm sincerely trying to be).

Just be patient and give him his space. He'll come around. It's maddening, but the patience pays off. The last thing you wanna do is rush a Libra into deciding. They make godawful decisions when they're rushed.

Thanks @rockyroadicecream, will he actually tell me when he's decided? I just really have no idea what's going on, he's super distant.

I tried to get an idea today where he stands and got no response, it's very frustrating and I'm not sure if it is worth waiting for now

Do be patient. Libras do not like to be pushed to make a decision. It will just make them take longer.

Make the decision for him (i.e end it) He'll soon let you know if he wants you back.

That's pretty much what I just did with mine 😢 He seems to not think he deserves me to be nice to him because he has not been there for me and has went into his hole at the time I did. I told him to take time to think and let me know what he wants. I already know I want to be with him..guess up to him to figure out what he wants.

I think I may have to take that advice, I keep feeling like he's trying to have his cake and eat it too and I'm not about that...I just wasn't sure what to do while he does his back and forth thing.

Get on with your life and show you can ger by without him. If he comes back and your still single and interested great, if you with someone or he dont come back atleast you didnt put your life on hold for him 🙂

Good point, I ended things this morning telling him I'm more than willing to be friends. How do Libras tend to react to breakups? When they're broken up with/when they finally make the decision to end things, both scenarios.

Posted by sunkissed4018
... he's now choosing whether he wants to continue our relationship or not after I suggested we stay friends while dealing with his upcoming graduation and relocation to another state...

Am I misunderstanding what you said here?

To me it sounds like you met a guy, dated him, then YOU decied you should be just friends because there is a lot of other stuff coming up right now. Now he isnt sure if he wants a friendship and you are frustrated by that...


Confirm / Deny

Posted by sunkissed4018
Good point, I ended things this morning telling him I'm more than willing to be friends. How do Libras tend to react to breakups? When they're broken up with/when they finally make the decision to end things, both scenarios.

If you end our relationship, I will probably be hurt and trying to figure out why and how to fix it. I will convince you to give it another chance but whatever issue caused the breakup will still be there. We'll get back together and break up again. Until I give up and end it, this cycle will continue.

If I end our relationship it is because I decided it could not be fixed and was no longer worth trying. Therefore, I will no longer try... anything. I do not think it is possible to instantly go from lovers to just friends. It may be possible down the road but not until both people have moved on. Trying to make this leap is going to end in hurt feelings and resentfulness on one side and confusion and bitterness on th other.


Of course all my dating experience was in high school.
I was married at 21. That one didnt last long and I got married to a different HS sweetheart almost immediately after the divorce.

I'm currently in one of those break-up & get back together cycles because I keep thinking it can work.

I ended the relationship because he could not make up his mind whether or not he wanted to continue our relationship because of his upcoming relocation. It was back and firth and I felt like he was putting off the decision . I didn't want to pressure him into one so I decided it would be best if we just agreed to be friends right now....I'm not quitesure what his reaction will be because he appears to be okay with it right now but I felt it was best because he seemed so torn. Our issues are completely related to timing, we're both in college and got very serious about each other in a short period of time

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by sunkissed4018
... he's now choosing whether he wants to continue our relationship or not after I suggested we stay friends while dealing with his upcoming graduation and relocation to another state...

Am I misunderstanding what you said here?

To me it sounds like you met a guy, dated him, then YOU decied you should be just friends because there is a lot of other stuff coming up right now. Now he isnt sure if he wants a friendship and you are frustrated by that...


Confirm / Deny

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I was thinking the same thing.

+1

Posted by sunkissed4018
I ended the relationship because he could not make up his mind whether or not he wanted to continue our relationship because of his upcoming relocation. It was back and firth and I felt like he was putting off the decision . I didn't want to pressure him into one so I decided it would be best if we just agreed to be friends right now....I'm not quitesure what his reaction will be because he appears to be okay with it right now but I felt it was best because he seemed so torn. Our issues are completely related to timing, we're both in college and got very serious about each other in a short period of time

The fear of rejection is a powerful thing. It makes us push people away when all we really wanted to do was pull them closer.

Posted by atsirk69

Posted by sunkissed4018
I ended the relationship because he could not make up his mind whether or not he wanted to continue our relationship because of his upcoming relocation. It was back and firth and I felt like he was putting off the decision . I didn't want to pressure him into one so I decided it would be best if we just agreed to be friends right now....I'm not quitesure what his reaction will be because he appears to be okay with it right now but I felt it was best because he seemed so torn. Our issues are completely related to timing, we're both in college and got very serious about each other in a short period of time

The fear of rejection is a powerful thing. It makes us push people away when all we really wanted to do was pull them closer.

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this is true for me too and is exactly what I was thinking. If I really like someone and they propose we be "just friends" I cannot do it. I take real friendship seriously. I will put aside my personal feelings and tell a friend what I think is best for them. If I want someone to be with me and they want to be just friends, I recognise the conflict of intwrests and cannot be their friend because I know my personal desire would interfere with my ability to be a real friend.

I have been there before and it sucks. All he can do is accept your decision to be friends or choose to have nothing. Neither of them is what he wants so he has a horrendous time choosing the lesser of two evils.

I can definitely understand that, I typically do notwant to stay friends with someone I still have feelings for....he agreed though that it's probably best at the moment but continues to talk to me and wants to see me. I figured it would be better this way so he doesn't feel pressured into the relationship, I want him to make the decision to continue it because he wants to and is willing. Yes I made the decision to just be friends for him right now because the limbo was driving me nuts. This is my first Libra so I'm new to handling them, any suggestions are welcome lol.

Posted by sunkissed4018
This is my first Libra so I'm new to handling them, any suggestions are welcome lol.

Be direct. Tell him what you like and want, don't be demanding about it but spell it out. I am clueless when it comes to people dropping hints or being subtle about stuff. I don't even usually know when someone is flirting with me, I just think we're talking. Then afterwards someone who saw it has to come tell me... it's bad.

You were right, he isn't having the friends thing. He said he would try but legitimately keeps pushing the limits but still is being a commitment phobe. Any advice for a very frustrated Cancer?

Also, since I've been initiating all of the decisions what can I expect from him? I feel bad giving him ultimatums, but I said he can basically have me as a friend or not at all if he's not going to commit to it. If he still wants me, is there a chance he'll realized he messed up and change his mind? I'm trying to go on with my lifebut everything feels unfinished between us and Iget the feeling it won't be the last I hear of it.....advice is greatly appreciated!

I want a relationship but since he is so hesitant to agree to one I offered him friendship. He knows exactly what I want but he's freakingout about being serious so I didn't know really whatelse to do. I initially put all of my cards onthe table without expecting a decision but since he was being so back and forth with me I just decided thatbeing friends during this time is best. He's just making it complicated because he still wants me even if he can't make a decision and I don't want to be with him in an open casual relationship. I'm going forward with everything, I'm just curious what to expect from him now.

I agree with LibraSun,

If a libra is throwing you mixed signals, which about 90% of the time they will if they are unsure of the whole situation or you in particular, the best thing you can do for yourself is to keep your distance. Dont nagg him about how he's hurting your or staying on your mind, and beg him to tell you whats going on. You asked once, he didn't answer let it go.

Do your own thing, let him know he doesn't stop your show, and watch, he will resurface. However if i were you, i would'nt let him back in so soon. This isn't just Libra men, its men period if they can leave and come back without feeling any remorse, this wont be the first time you will post about him disappearing he'll do it again because it was allowed the 1st time.

Pinklibra thank you for the advice, I was so thrown off by his actions that I haven't been sure how to act. But I will definitely leave him be and go on with my life! How do I prevent him from wanting to have his cake and eat it too? Because when I broke it off a few days ago the next day he was trying to get me back but still wouldn't agree to continuing our relationship. It appears he was trying to keep me waiting

Im with LibraSun and PinkLibra on this one. I haven't gotten the whole quote thing down yet, but how do you prevent him from having his cake and eating it too? Love yourself more than anybody in this world (besides ya momma) will. Walk away so fast that he's left speaking to your breeze...and don't you dare turn back around.

Thanks for the advice veryons, I think it's clear that I need to just walk away from the situation for him to figure it all out on my own...but in the meantime, not wait around. Will he return just from seeing me happy without him? If so, I'll continue to keep my guard up and he's proven he's ready.

Posted by sunkissed4018
I want a relationship but since he is so hesitant to agree to one I offered him friendship. He knows exactly what I want but he's freakingout about being serious so I didn't know really whatelse to do. I initially put all of my cards onthe table without expecting a decision but since he was being so back and forth with me I just decided thatbeing friends during this time is best. He's just making it complicated because he still wants me even if he can't make a decision and I don't want to be with him in an open casual relationship. I'm going forward with everything, I'm just curious what to expect from him now.

that's all you can do. I was a little fuzzy on the details but this clears it up.

You all are seeing each other,
You want to make it official/exclusive,
He freaks out,
You say all or nothing,
He stays freaked out,
You walk.

He wasn't that into you. He was cool with it as long as it was casual. He isn't being indecisive, he is hoping that by staling and not comitting you will back off your demand. Don't do it though. Depending on him, he could either continue to pursue a casual relationship with you, he may respect your feelings and walk away, or he will lie to you and give you what you want until he finds what he wants somewhere else. You all aren't looking for the same thing, don't get stuck in a situation like that.

Right on, LibraSid.

Thanks LibraSid, naturally that's not what any girl likes to hear but I will take your advice. I am not backing down but dealing with him hasn't been easy. The less I care, the more he seems to. What's up with that? I don't want to be lied to or manipulated into thinking I mean more to him than I do. I just figured he was being a typical indecisive Libra and didn't want to hang on him in the process. When I told himthat I wanted to move on with my life he took it as a threat.

Oh no I have, I told him I'm not dealing with bullshit and that those were my terms and if he couldn't agree to it, to just be my friend. After I didn't talk to him for a week and did my thing he started talking to me again saying he will agree to be my friend and is now acting pretty normal. The one time I have seen him since me breaking it off I kept it brief and walked away. He may feel "threatened" by me moving on but since he's agreeing of friendship he must be aware or okay with it now....or trying to prevent me from doing so, I really don't know. You libra males could probably tell me better

Yeah makes sense, I don't think he's crazy but he likes to get what he wants and he isn't right now so I wasn't sure how genuine his acceptance of friendship was and if he's just going along for now. He admitted not only about feeling threatened but also that whenever I don't want something he wants it that much more. Granted he's in his early 20s graduating from college so I haven't expected him to be the most mature

So it's been two weeks and so far they've gone pretty well. We have talked but all of his trying to have his cake and eat it too acts seem to be diminishing. One question though, do Libra men tend tocome back and change their minds? I wasn't sure since I ended everything between us and am now trying to get back out there. My friends are warning me to be careful about how obvious it is that I'm moving on with my life because of the way it may affect him. I think I would take him back if he decided to step up but I'm still wary about how to treat the breakup

If you're still daydreaming about how it could work "if only..." then you shouldn't be trying to be friends. If you are just friends then you should be able to date whoever you want without him getting weird. If you can't then you all need to back off the friendship. If a man wants to be with you he will let you know. Libras are known to be shy and fear rejection but you guys are well past that point. You told him that if he wanted to keep the relationship moving forward that you needed a commitment, he said no. You treat the breakup for what it is... he is attracted to you and would like to keep things active in the bedroom but he ain't gonna settledown with you. You either accept it and get back under the sheets or stick to the no you gave and tell him to go pound sand. I don't think a friendship is a good idea until you have both gotten over what was.

I'm definitely sticking to telling him to "go pound sand." I'm not a toy, lol. Maybe you're right about the friendship but it seemed like the best option at the time so weboth took it....and nowI have to admit it's kinda weird. I'm moving on and forward but I am constantly getting warned about what will happen when he gets wind of it

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by sunkissed4018
Good point, I ended things this morning telling him I'm more than willing to be friends. How do Libras tend to react to breakups? When they're broken up with/when they finally make the decision to end things, both scenarios.

If you end our relationship, I will probably be hurt and trying to figure out why and how to fix it. I will convince you to give it another chance but whatever issue caused the breakup will still be there. We'll get back together and break up again. Until I give up and end it, this cycle will continue.

If I end our relationship it is because I decided it could not be fixed and was no longer worth trying. Therefore, I will no longer try... anything. I do not think it is possible to instantly go from lovers to just friends. It may be possible down the road but not until both people have moved on. Trying to make this leap is going to end in hurt feelings and resentfulness on one side and confusion and bitterness on th other.


Of course all my dating experience was in high school.
I was married at 21. That one didnt last long and I got married to a different HS sweetheart almost immediately after the divorce.

I'm currently in one of those break-up & get back together cycles because I keep thinking it can work.

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Librasid, you know your stuff!!! Both scenarios (breaking up with a libra vs. libra breaking up with you) with my ex played out just the way you said. Also, I totally agree with you that one can't go onto becoming friends with their ex immediately after the break-up. There are still emotions attached. Until both parties move on, and I don't mean a rebound mission, it's impossible to be friends with exes.

Posted by aquarius09
I totally agree with you that one can't go onto becoming friends with their ex immediately after the break-up. There are still emotions attached. Until both parties move on, and I don't mean a rebound mission, it's impossible to be friends with exes.

Can you call my aqua-ex and explain it to her? She thinks I am an asshole because I said I can't be just friends right now.

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by aquarius09
I totally agree with you that one can't go onto becoming friends with their ex immediately after the break-up. There are still emotions attached. Until both parties move on, and I don't mean a rebound mission, it's impossible to be friends with exes.

Can you call my aqua-ex and explain it to her? She thinks I am an asshole because I said I can't be just friends right now.

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I'd love to, but there is no reasoning with aquarius stubbornness. We both know she's pouting for not getting her way. I think libras almost always let aquas get their way for harmony sake, so when aqua doesn't get their way with the libra, they pout like there's no tomorrow. She wants to keep you around for reasons like per se still has feelings for you or have you around for beck and call etc. You stay strong and do what's good for you! It seems like both of you need some distance.

^for some reason, that was probably the most helpful thing anyone has said to me. I'll take that advice.

Just an update that could usesome feedback: It's been another few weeks and the more I am moving on, the more he is popping up. We're now on speaking terms although he has a hard time just being friendly and keeping it that way when he's around me and is getting jealous easily. I've made it clear to him that I am not interested in crossing any lines and continue to stand my ground because he hasn't made any apparent changes. If we both happen to be in a public place, he stares bullets into my head and it attracts my friends' attention. I know I cannot assume motives, but is this becoming a game for him or is it feelings based? This is my first Libra so once again I don't know how they're prone to act during these awkward breakup phases. I still care a lot about him but am super distanced because I know being just friends isn't really possible right now, and he has a hard time keeping it that way.

What do you mean by 95% with him? Just like inner conflict?

I suppose that would make sense because he is making big life choices career wise right now. He's also used to having everything handed to him so I could see how this would provoke that kind of behavior. I'll definitely be weary, that does sound unflattering. So keeping a firm distance will force him to sort that out? I still do have feelings but at this point I just want clarity and for things to be sorted out and not messy.

Tiz, you just described all the bs I had with the ex.

OP- I went through this same bs with the ex. Continue what you're doing. Let him deal with his bs on his own and don't let it get you down. You can't be waiting around for this crap.

Posted by rockyroadicecream
Tiz, you just described all the bs I had with the ex.

OP- I went through this same bs with the ex. Continue what you're doing. Let him deal with his bs on his own and don't let it get you down. You can't be waiting around for this crap.

Trust me Rocky is speaking the truth, the more u wait the more they feel u will always be waiting and they can do wait they want

Hey, I already moved on from libra guy, meet a cancer guy, much more mature and manly enough to know what he wants

Posted by tiziani

Posted by TaurusNikki
Hey, I already moved on from libra guy, meet a cancer guy, much more mature and manly enough to know what he wants

What a shame (not that you've found someone, that part is great).

My parents were Libra and Taurus and I was quietly rooting for you both.

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The dumbazz didn't think I would walk away, I got tired of the b s, the Ive been hurt b.s let's be friends and u never know what can happen, the b. s . Saying one thing meaning another, the indecisive b. s when I know dam well what he wants but to scared to admit it, trying to test me, thinking I don't mean what I say, now he knows, now he crying complaining that I didn't give him a chance, are u freaking kidding me, I gave him more than enough, don't ever test me, u will be made a fool of

Haha I guess Nikki is the person to talk to. I'm at the best point I've been at as far as moving on but this is when he decided to reappear. I'm holding my ground but I can't begin to say how frustrating and tiring it is for me, to still care for someone and have to continuously push them away knowing that nothing is changing or will change. Or to have his friends come to me and express how much of a dumbass he is and just wish that for once he'll realize it on his own! Lol obviously this has gotten me very frustrated over time but I just want this to stop being a circle and I know I have the power to change that but it's always easier said than done.

Posted by sunkissed4018
Haha I guess Nikki is the person to talk to. I'm at the best point I've been at as far as moving on but this is when he decided to reappear. I'm holding my ground but I can't begin to say how frustrating and tiring it is for me, to still care for someone and have to continuously push them away knowing that nothing is changing or will change. Or to have his friends come to me and express how much of a dumbass he is and just wish that for once he'll realize it on his own! Lol obviously this has gotten me very frustrated over time but I just want this to stop being a circle and I know I have the power to change that but it's always easier said than done.

O trust me, I know what your going through, and it's crazy, these male libra have screwed up priorties, they try to turn things back on u when they are at fault, then do cowardly things just to avoid a situation, then when they know ur not joking that's when all of a sudden they want to try, and I stress the word try, to make things happen, but only enough to get u to shut up for a awhile, then their at it again

I suppose I should run away as fast as I can? Haha I am beyond frustrated with it all. When do they ever fully make up their minds?! I'm trying to keep it so I've made the final decision but boy, he likes challenging me

It's because they realize that their charm isn't going to get them through this anymore and now they have to be real.

Charm will only get one so far in life...

Posted by sunkissed4018
I suppose I should run away as fast as I can? Haha I am beyond frustrated with it all. When do they ever fully make up their minds?! I'm trying to keep it so I've made the final decision but boy, he likes challenging me

It really isn't that hard if you set your mind to "ugh do I really need all this drama and headache? No? MOVING ON."

It takes time, but each time you feel yourself sliding, think about all the ridiculous bullshit and it starts to outweigh that facade of a guy that you initially fell for.

Posted by sunkissed4018
I suppose I should run away as fast as I can? Haha I am beyond frustrated with it all. When do they ever fully make up their minds?! I'm trying to keep it so I've made the final decision but boy, he likes challenging me

They always challenge u, they want u to bend to their will, don't do it, u'll regret it for sure, that dumbazz will never admit to a dam thing, what a coward, as soon as I told him, I found another man that knows what he wants and does what needs to be done, now libra male wants to act all emotional like I did something wrong, sike.....I finally let his azz go and it feels good, no more b. s , putting up with lil boy blue cowardly azz