Libra man - over it or...?

I've gone on 5-6 dates with a Libra man. Everything was going great until I told him that I liked him. Ever since I mentioned that he's been acting distant. I asked him what was going on and he apologized for being aloof, it was because we weren't on the same page. I told him I understand and was just being honest. I asked if he still wanted to get to know each other.. No response. Is he weighing his options or just too scared to say No to me?

If he wasn't into her what the heck did he go on 5 or 6 dates for? I could see 1 or 2 if you are leading someone on, or maybe 3..most likely he was doing the asking!!

waddup TOC...LOL. IT'S ALIBRA, cant remember my password for that account. :p

Why did you tell him you like him first? Why not allow things to progress naturally, you being so forward has a hint of desperation to it and to be clear I KNOW you're not desperate but some men don't know that, they just feel the vibe of ickyness/desperation and they run.

I'm not saying what you did was wrong but keep what I said in mind because a mature, emotionally evolved male can handle your feelings but an not so emotionally evolved male that is still finding his way through relationships as in wanting to have one, not have one etc will reject a woman chasing him with her feelings.

I'd suggest you move on, if he's interested he'll be back and now that you see he can't handle your feelings, try keeping them to yourself and instead allow him to lead the relationship forward without the expression of feelings coming from you first, if he expresses his feelings then of course that will be your opportunity to reciprocate but until then, zip it with the I like you's.

To some men they hear "I like you" a lot and those women that say "I like you" FIRST tend to be needy, clingy, desperate, mentally off and want and demand an INSTANT relationship from him b/c they've spent so much time together and thus anytime a female says "I like you" they ASSOCIATE you saying that with all those other undesirable females they've had to immediately dump, get rid of b/c they are too much trouble, so try to AVOID saying things that needy women say or a male will run, his avoiding tells me I'm right about your situation, he's just not there yet with you SO HE'S SLOWING EVERYTHING DOWN--way down and if you push as in INITIATE contact he will stay slow and maintain his stance in avoid mode with you so don't inch near him, don't text, don't call, don't email, don't do anything, he'll be back.

to this post...

"Is he weighing his options or just too scared to say No to me?"

In my opinion it's probably both of these. Libra's dont like to be the bad guy so they very seldom tell someone if they dont like them, they would just back off, then slowly disappear and hope you move on. They dont do it to be mean, they do it because they rather not lead you on.

Honestly i've been guilty of doing this to a guy. Recently i was entertaining the idea of giving this one guy a try, he was coming over almost every other day, then he tried to get physical. I wasn't ready, hadn't made up my mind about him yet and i hadn't even kissed him yet so it completely turned me off. I was liking him more when he was going witht he flow of things. When jumped the gun i was like uh oh. Let me back off. I disappeared. He sent me text saying i was fake which pissed me off, and i told him why i stopped talking to him.

Try pissing him off, you'll get a response. Libra's dont tolerate disrespect or being bullied. lol. Seriously though.

I agree with the other posts, I'm still learning about Libras, but I do know in general if you say too much too soon at the start of a relationship, you can easily run the other person away or slow things way down, if they don't feel the same as you. I'm not al Libra or a male but I have done the same thing. A guy will tell me he likes me and if I don't feel the same way I will quickly distance myself from them, and rethink how i feel. not to be mean, but simply because it freaks me out if I'm not sure whether or not I want to work towards something more serious with that person. Even if he is somewhat into you, he's probably trying to understand his own feelings now and whether or not he wants to move forward. I'd say don't bother him anymore and see if he comes back around to you. You said what you said and if he wants to continue getting to know you he will eventually make an effort to. If he doesn't then that's a sign that it's probably best for you to move on.
From what I've learned, Libra's will chase after the things that they want, even the shy ones.

I'm dating a Libra man now who I really like, but I haven't told him this yet mainly because I don't want to scare
him off. So I'm patiently just letting things progress as they will and if he starts to tell me his feelings, only then will I start to tell him mine. In the meantime I just show my fondness for him in other ways, like complimenting him on the things that I like about him, spending time with him as much as possible, and being genuinely interested in him. All without being clingy and letting him lead the way for the most part.

Thanks for all the response. Really appreciate it. He said he needs time to process things. I told him, honestly he could've talked to me about it rather than act all aloof, and told him thats the mature thing to do. And I have no regrets telling him "I like you", I'm honest to myself. If I feel that way, I'll tell it to your face, no games or anything. I don't think of that as being needy.

I just think its funny that everything was going so well, he always asks me out/chasing me etc.. and after saying "I like him" things change 360. But yes you guys are right. I feel like he was more into the chase and attention.

Posted by reightyseven
I just think its funny that everything was going so well, he always asks me out/chasing me etc.. and after saying "I like him" things change 360. But yes you guys are right. I feel like he was more into the chase and attention.

The allure of you being that shiny, unattainable object has now gone and it's no fun. So freaking eyeroll worthy. This is a stupid guy thing, not necessarily a Libra guy thing per se.

And really, if a guy is going to be THAT flighty over "I like you," then eff that noise. What a waste of time.

Posted by reightyseven
Thanks for all the response. Really appreciate it. He said he needs time to process things. I told him, honestly he could've talked to me about it rather than act all aloof, and told him thats the mature thing to do. And I have no regrets telling him "I like you", I'm honest to myself. If I feel that way, I'll tell it to your face, no games or anything. I don't think of that as being needy.

You don't think of it as needy and yet you don't recognize how telling a man "I like you" after 5 or 6 dates comes across as needy, it's not that you are actually needy, it's your BEHAVIOR and how you EXPRESS IT that smells needy to a man, when that happens the end result is him walking off without much else to say to you, better to move on to a more confident woman than waste time with a woman that needs something from him. If you don't see that NOW through his reaction then you're going to have a hard time maintaining a connection with a guy.

Timing is everything and when the timing is off it all looks and feels WRONG, it feels like chasing and chasing a man through feelings WON'T WORK if he's not there yet, his saying I need time to process was just an excuse to get you off his back, he's being aloof because you moved too fast and now he has to THINK about if he want to move further with you into the like department and I'm sure he hardly know you all that well romantically to know the answer to that so in order to not hurt your feelings he's being aloof and then you turn around and come at him with an attitude about his behavior which only SOLIDIFIES his option to move on was right, you're emotionally high maintenance which equals to too much damn work.

So yeah you messed up because you're too busy thinking about yourself and your feelings and not taking how your feelings being expressed out could potentially get in the way of progress so next time just be cool, allow things to unfold naturally, you don't have to say I like you to him, as long as you're SHOWING UP then he know you like him and as long as he's showing up for you then he's telling you he's into you and thus there is a space for the relationship to unfold naturally without you pushing through expressing your thoughts, sometimes it's just best to be quiet and just let it be.

Look at how you saying "I like you" has ended everything, so you can think what you did doesn't reek of desperation and neediness but look at where you are NOW, no dates, no him, no nothing, you LOST because of your behavior so you can act as if what you didn't do didn't effect the outcome but it did, now you have nothing and that should be a big indication that you have to CHANGE/ALTER how you express yourself with a man/men.

If a man has the same feelings then everything will work out fine, there will be no aloof behavior, there will be no talks of I need to process my thoughts but if he hasn't even thought about you in a romantic way, if he hasn't thought about liking you beyond the superficial surface stuff and his goal was to have some drama free dating kind of fun then yeah he's going to move on, he's not going to think about it, it's over for him now, that doesn't mean forever, he may come back later if he decides he want to pick up with you and explore something with you but at this point you have to move on, don't continue to approach him about his aloofness not through text, phone, email or you??ll just look like a psycho needy nagging female that is desperate for male approval, once he see that he??ll sigh relief he didn't go further with you so to avoid that just move on, he??ll be back if he feel there is something there for him with you.

tiki, I guess I kind of disagree. If I told a guy that I liked him, it isn't out of the sense that I want us to move into a relationship, it is simply just me stating the fact that I like him. That seems like entirely too much thought for a simple phrase. I understand what the OP is saying, she probably didn't see it as more of fact. Don't mind me though, I am a Leo and that would make me kind of turn cold. I love you Leebs though, you guys are pretty good-natured folks.

Also tiki, just caught your second comment. I have to ask, where did you get the "you need to evaluate how you express yourself with a man/woman" portion? Has this person come on here before with issues with other people or just this one guy? It didn't work out with him. That is fine, cut her losses and move on. There are other people out there that are accepting of just an open and honest statement. I don't feel the sense of urgency or desperation from this poster and that is truly saying something from the 90% of females I have seen post on DXP. She is just trying to understand where she slipped up with him and just wanted to ask him so she can get an understanding (unless she was blowing his damn phone up and hanging out on his doorstep with a boombox.......I dunno). I might be missing the whole story but what I am getting here, I am not seeing some overreacting broad.

LOL! I know right! I would have been like, "You couldn't have the decency to at least step out to the bathroom and push that out? Thanks for throwing napalm at the table."

Posted by ReinaDelMar23
tiki, I guess I kind of disagree. If I told a guy that I liked him, it isn't out of the sense that I want us to move into a relationship, it is simply just me stating the fact that I like him. That seems like entirely too much thought for a simple phrase. I understand what the OP is saying, she probably didn't see it as more of fact. Don't mind me though, I am a Leo and that would make me kind of turn cold. I love you Leebs though, you guys are pretty good-natured folks.

And where I think so many women fail, fail to realize is that she isn't a man so what she's doing and the reason behind may not compute with the male mind and this is where so many women fail, she fail to realize that her reasoning may make all the sense to me and other females but to a man he is not going to get why and the reasoning, he instead is going to take care of himself and how he does that is by using his own feelings (yes men have feelings too) they just use them differently than females and if a woman says "I like you" and he hasn't even thought about her in that kind of way he's going to reject or put another way grow cold and aloof.

I understand the reasoning behind the female mind, I get it but women have to get that men aren't women and they just don't think and feel the same way and some men base a females behavior off of all the other females out there so if his experience has been that the females that say "I like you" first and/or express intense feelings first he'll bolt on her, he'll assume she's just like all the other needy females, NO IT'S NOT FAIR but this is some of things we women should keep in mind before expressing too soon, it's a time to express, it's timing, if it's off then it'll all go wrong, it'll go from to hot to cold in a matter of seconds.

Men (some not all) say and think they want liberation with women, they want women to initiate sex, initiate love, initiate dates but a lot of men are simply turned off by a woman initiating. The one initiating first is the one taking on the dominant role, men are not women, so yeah they immediately are turned off by being forced into the Feminine role in the male/female dynamic and they run, chase a man, he'll run.

Disclaimer: I am not speaking for all men, there are some really great mature evolved men on this planet but unfortunately so many women experience the latter.

To be a bit more transparent, I am not saying a woman can't express herself to a man but she has to be AWARE of all the things good and bad that could potentially happen that may or may not be in her favor, if she moves too fast without being aware of all the things that could work against her instead of for her she could potentially kill any and all opportunity to move beyond dating, it's a fragile, delicate, intricate process to get from dating to exclusive. This was a timing issue for her, her timing was off and the consequences of her timing being off is that he's gone, he may or may not come back, I do hope he comes back to finish what they started.

Posted by ReinaDelMar23
Also tiki, just caught your second comment. I have to ask, where did you get the "you need to evaluate how you express yourself with a man/woman" portion? Has this person come on here before with issues with other people or just this one guy? It didn't work out with him. That is fine, cut her losses and move on. There are other people out there that are accepting of just an open and honest statement. I don't feel the sense of urgency or desperation from this poster and that is truly saying something from the 90% of females I have seen post on DXP. She is just trying to understand where she slipped up with him and just wanted to ask him so she can get an understanding (unless she was blowing his damn phone up and hanging out on his doorstep with a boombox.......I dunno). I might be missing the whole story but what I am getting here, I am not seeing some overreacting broad.

I'm not seeing an overreacting broad either. She made the wrong move and it ended, Libra males lead, they know what they want and they don't actually care too much for dominant females, femininity is the key, my ex Libra loved femininity, dominate behavior as in initiating, leading, chasing would send him running for the hills.

I understand your point of view on that but on the same token, to have most women try to understand the male psyche (no matter how simple it looks or quite possibly is) would go above above them like an airplane in the sky. It just won't work so for most women out there, they need to know and understand themselves so they can be evolved enough to have meaningful relationships with evolved men, not trip out and freak out about every cat that strays into her life, locks her into a flirty eye dance, pumps her head up with bullshit and then wonders why she is oozing emotion all over him like a geyser. Women for the most part don't understand that every guy that she is involved with is supposed to be there on a relationship level so she needs to sort them out. If the guy doesn't fit, gently end it and move on.

The dating game these days is such a harsh process. Women are losing themselves out there chasing guys and a lot of men are losing what makes them men. Rules have to change with the climate, it seems.

Thanks, lady! The dating scene blows these days. I have to actually test men out on a date now. Most of them won't even pick up a tab anymore. I wish it was back to how it was, where men could be men and women can just be ladies. Carrying around these extra set of balls is a mother. lol

tiki, u have some great points. tough love.

Posted by SweetLibra

Reina & Tiki both make excellent points. But being a woman with some age under her belt, I have to say Tiki's advice is a great model to follow in today's dating society. Ladies, pull back a little and let the guy earn it. Yes, there are some evolved mature men who can handle honesty. But they are becoming a dying breed. Waiting until you're sure of his feelings is not you being dishonest about your feelings. Tiki is right, timing is everything with men.

This. Women wanting to take charge isn't a bad thing, but unfortunately our society still enforces old fashioned ideals despite being one of post feminist movement. Being forward and sure about you want isn't a bad thing, but the reaction from guys can be. If you want to continue this approach, then be prepared for the potential bs in return because some guys are that stupid.

Basically everything Tiki said.

You just have to find a nice balance. Going 50/50 seems to work relatively well, imo. A little give, a little take. Let them chase you, but you can make your intentions known at the appropriate time. Hell, just by making sure that your actions speak loud and clear is enough.

I think a lot of dating ends up being a headache because you have one extreme or the other all too often. Either the woman chases and is very forward in what she wants, or she expects him to do EVERYTHING. That's why you run into so many problems- things get a little lopsided.

I think all of it is besides the point. Point is this libra was unsually honest with her and told her he didn't want to pursue it. I'm sorry but many of you proved my point, that when a libra is not into you they sort of waive you off and slowly disappear and hope you dont notice. This is EXACTLY what this libra is doing. She's basically leaving him no choice, Libra's are not mean so he's not going to say "Dang girl dont you get it!" He's going to eventually disappear compltely all together if she keeps pressing the issue.

I say leave him be. He's not into it at the moment, and frankley i think he may think she's cool but i dont think he's into her romantically, because if it were me and i was into someone but i wasn't exactly ready i wouldn't tell them that, unless i was already with someone else. (I dont believe in cheating). But if i'm single and i like someone, there's no feeding them some bull like "Oh i'm not, ready or Oh i need time" unless my interest is elese where or they just dont do it for me.

Leoliza go back and read what I said, I didn't imply she was needy, I said that we women sometimes do what feels right for us and yeah as a woman/female I get it, I completely get that she's not needy nor being needy but, I get what "I like you" means as a woman but men don't necessarily see the whole "I like you" the same way, men tend to date socially much more than women and many of them have heard a woman say to them "I like you" and those women that initiated most likely weren't the desirable women they wanted. IT'S NOT FAIR! I know it's not fair but it's a reality, men hear all kinds of things from women and if they hear it enough and already KNOW the outcome they just drop the woman b/c they COMPUTE her actions and behavior with all the other girls they dropped, IT'S NOT FAIR but it happens a lot.

He's looking for fun not a chore so if the timing is wrong a man will FEEL that ICKY feeling that can't be explained but pushes him out the door, men are not women, they don't compute our actions, what we say and how we say it in a female kind of way, men can grunt to one another and know exactly what that grunt means but me I wouldn't get it, my point being is that men are not women, women are not men and sometimes we women have to take that into consideration when expressing a thought, a woman has to know when she express her feelings that A TO Z can happen which includes being ignored and rejected, pushed aside until later b/c the timing for him isn't right.

She said what she felt and wanted to say and his reaction to her expressing herself was to let her down easy, the timing was off for him, 5/6 dates for a man is not enough time for him to know what he wants especially if he's actively dating one or more women and enjoying his social life and at the same time attempting to avoid anything that leads him into a real relationship, if he's just dating for fun and many men do just date for fun then he has a mental list of what to look out for and what kind of woman to avoid, the women who are too fast will get the boot and she can be the best thing since Wonder Bread, yet one wrong move can end it, it's just the way it is in the dating scene.

Posted by Lenore0908
It's not that he is not into you. You just dimmed the attraction by saying you liked him. It upsets the natural course of things when you try to rush things. Part of the fun of dating is getting to know someone, and men actually enjoy the chase. Love and commitment handed to them on a platter does not work! They have to feel an emotional connection to be with a woman. When people try to rush relationships, or declare feelings and get serious before they've had time to really enjoy getting to know someone, it appears needy to the other person. Just have fun, be yourself, and enjoy the other person, and if its meant to be, it'll be.

++1

I like the term "dim the attraction"

He was into her when they went on 5 or however many dates, but somewhere along the line the attraction faded. Personally i'm not even gonna say it was another girl, but something turned him off. Period.

I wont say it was her telling him she liked him. There's nothing wrong with thats, shoot after 5 dates thats anybody. However something else happen here, that made this Libra want to fade out. Libr'a change their mind like they change underwear. Try keeping up if you want to, you gon make yourself dizzy.

I also want to point out that just because he went on 5 dates with her does not mean he was into her romantically. I'm just saying. I will go out on a million dates with a person and simply just enjoy their company without thinking about them in a romantic way. HOWEVER, the minute they let me know it's deeper than that, yup i just might fade off, ESPECIALLY if i know the feeling isn't mutual.

What I am not understanding is why HER saying she liked him FIRST was wrong. Are us women supposed to wait for the guy to tell us first??

Pfft, the whole situation is freaking stupid and here we go again with the usual lot making excuses for such ridiculous behavior.

She's better off moving on. I dunno about her, but 5-6 dates or not, I'd be turned off and drop the guy in a heartbeat if he suddenly pulled an act like this. Rather find out now than 6 months to a year in that he's this flaky.

Note- "fading out" is not acceptable and the cowards way out. Grow up. I was listening to something about this today and several guys called in, admitting that ignoring the girl was their choice in handling matters like this. Because that's noble and mature... Our society is full of cowards and self serving douchebags. Oy.

RockroadIceCream i never said is was acceptable or okay, I said that it is exactly what happen here.

And i again i like to add that it is NOTHING wrong with her saying she likes him. He had that coming if he was spending all that time with her. I just gave insight as to why i think he backed off. The feeling wasn't mutual. Simple as that.

Plus i can admit as a libra my tendency to disappear and come back every now and then is not one of my mature areas. However its my way of sparing someones feelings. BUT i will say as i get older, I tell people how i feel if they ask. If they ask why I disappeared or why i go off, I'll tell them straight out, yet they still chase or think there's a chance. Not my fault at that point. lol.

Posted by pinklibra
RockroadIceCream i never said is was acceptable or okay, I said that it is exactly what happen here.

And i again i like to add that it is NOTHING wrong with her saying she likes him. He had that coming if he was spending all that time with her. I just gave insight as to why i think he backed off. The feeling wasn't mutual. Simple as that.

Please point out in my comment where my comment was directed at you.

WELL since i was the last person to mention "FADING OUT" I directed my comment to YOU. Since you weren't talking to me I'm talking to YOU.

Posted by leoliza
Note- "fading out" is not acceptable and the cowards way out. Grow up. I was listening to something about this today and several guys called in, admitting that ignoring the girl was their choice in handling matters like this. Because that's noble and mature... Our society is full of cowards and self serving douchebags. Oy.


This is only YOUR point of view, but it doesn't mean it's the right, or only way.


Honestly, mostly I'd rather someone be straightforward, but sometimes I'd rather fade out. Libras for a fact prefer this. They'd prefer someone do it to them than straight up conflict...and I've noticed they take nonverbal cues very well.

Everyone is different...

Harboring butthurt much?

Her saying "I like first" wasn't wrong and yet she was rejected which is one outcome that can occur when an a thought, feeling, emotion is expressed out too early.

TIKI33: I get what your saying, but i guess it depends on how she worded it when she said it to him. If she gave him some long drawn out speech about her new feelings for him while telling him she liked him, or said it in a real serious tone then i'd agree with you.

However on the other hand, if she said it on the date like "I really like you." ~giggled/smiled~ " I mean i just think your a real cool guy" Libra would've been flattered not alarmed.

But we'd have to have been there to see how it went down.

"TIKI33: I get what your saying, but i guess it depends on how she worded it when she said it to him. If she gave him some long drawn out speech about her new feelings for him while telling him she liked him, or said it in a real serious tone then i'd agree with you.

However on the other hand, if she said it on the date like "I really like you." ~giggled/smiled~ " I mean i just think your a real cool guy" Libra would've been flattered not alarmed.

But we'd have to have been there to see how it went down."

It doesn't matter how she worded it b/c the outcome would be the SAME. I think this is where women and men differ, men ignore to let a woman down easy and women (including myself many moons ago) want to debate it, get closure and bring meaning to it, she could have said I like you 100 different ways and the outcome would be the same.

Her saying "I like you isn't wrong" in and of itself but her saying that gave her the outcome she didn't want and that comes down to timing and it also comes down to where a guy is at in his life and if we women don't take that into consideration things can go wrong immediately, sometimes we women get so attached to our own feelings that we don't even take all that into consideration, it's not just about us when it comes dating, it's about him too and if women fail to recognize that and continue to do what she wants to do b/c whatever she is doing FEELS right for her and she's attached to her feelings then the outcome won't be good, what feels right for women may not feel right for a man and he'll leave.

Had she been a little bit more patient he would have stepped up and did his part and that's how things go smoothly, they go smoothly when the male is doing his part of the dating dance, things don't go smoothly 99% of the time when women allow her feelings to lead, a lot of the times a man will run, a man will run when he feels he's being chased, it's in their DNA to run from hunters.

I dated a libra and he didn't hardly know me, met me a day before my birthday, called me on my birthday, showed up on my doorstep bearing birthday gifts, we spent almost all of our time together. I did not have to chase him, I did not have to tell him I liked him, he did all the work, if a Libra wants a woman he'll make it known fairly quickly. The ending was mostly do to both of us being immature and not ready, Libra and Aqua make for a good match though.

Also my ex libra said "I love you" first days after meeting me, he initiated and I was so shocked I didn't say it back immediately and that hurt his feelings a bit but we got over it, my point being Libra's are not that lazy emotionally, they will step up if the women is the right fit for him during whatever time and phase he's at mentally and emotionally, it is a timing issue for some Air signs.

Posted by tiki33

I dated a libra and he didn't hardly know me, met me a day before my birthday, called me on my birthday, showed up on my doorstep bearing birthday gifts, we spent almost all of our time together. I did not have to chase him, I did not have to tell him I liked him, he did all the work, if a Libra wants a woman he'll make it known fairly quickly. The ending was mostly do to both of us being immature and not ready, Libra and Aqua make for a good match though.

Posted by tiki33
Also my ex libra said "I love you" first days after meeting me, he initiated and I was so shocked I didn't say it back immediately and that hurt his feelings a bit but we got over it, my point being Libra's are not that lazy emotionally, they will step up if the women is the right fit for him during whatever time and phase he's at mentally and emotionally, it is a timing issue for some Air signs.

click to expand

Agreed. I've seen the same thing with these guys. You sit back and take it easy and they WILL do the chasing.

I think women need to remember that because men and women differ in how they approach dating that sometimes you gotta take the "old fashioned" approach and let him show his interest in you before you take the lead, do anything forward. I'm all for women wanting to take the lead, but too often, it backfires. So sit back, let him show you that he's interested, which will be REALLY obvious if you pay attention, and then you can start the more forward bits.

I think that women also need to remember, much like guys chasing girls, there's always the risk of rejection in some dumb way, shape, or form. Generally, I don't think women are used to this concept as for ages it was all about the guy pursuing them.

However, in regard to this scenario, it's fricken ridiculous that he split after an "I like you." Really? Had it been "love" I would get it, but "like?" Wtf evar. Float away, little air sign and have fun with your sock and lotion. This chica deserves better.

Tiziani I hear you, I get what you are saying but this is a males perspective not a females perspective, I may not word it exactly how a male would word it but it's all the same language.

What do you think/feel initiating is exactly? Initiating is chasing, typically men chase through initiating contact, initiating a real relationship, initiating some kind of physical contact, it's all chasing, pursuing etc and when we women mirror that back to a man well it's MALE ENERGY and being male himself he won't feel turned on by that kind of energy, it will turn him off, I CAN'T explain why it turns some men off, I have no idea why initiating doesn't bold well with men but some men simply feel that gut instinct to run, to go in the other direction.

I personally feel she did what she wanted to do and if she's confident in herself his reaction shouldn't dissuade her from expressing herself but the dark side of that is a lot of men will reject b/c she's given her POWER away and when his MALE ROLE has been taken, it's typically his role in the dynamic TO SHARE with her, TO GIVE to her, to give his energy and his feelings to her, this makes a man feel like a man and naturally moves him forward without her doing anything or having to say the right thing.

Chasing comes in many forms and chasing is defined in many ways, some women chase and don't even know but what they do know is their potential mate is pulling, boyfriend is ignoring but what they fail to recognize is what's triggering the behavior.

One form of chasing is

Moving Things Forward

This includes:

Making suggestions, making plans and then inviting him to come and join you, offering to drive to him, offering to drive on the date, offering to put him up for the night on your couch, or in your bed...

Offering to cook for him, initiating sex, initiating affection (in any way other than smiling with an open heart and body), initiating the "talk" about "where the relationship is going," getting anything having to do with the relationship "started" offering him her feelings...

Creating a "special occasion," sending him anything (pictures, mementos, ideas), thinking out loud to him about things you can do together, telling him about things you can do together, and creating things to do together...

Notice the word offering and creating, sending thus when we women offer a man something without him having earned that offering he'll bolt b/c that kind of energy feels wrong, feels like being chased, giving a man anything, offering him anything can potentially end a connection quickly. Some men will express wanting a woman to be forward, express herself but those very same men will feel emasculated in some way and run, they are not prepared to deal with male energy from a female. Male energy GIVES, male energy CREATES, male energy PURSUES, male energy HUNT & SEEK, male energy GIVES, male energy NURTURES and FIX, male energy INITIATES.

I'm not saying never communicate a thought but put some cognitive thinking behind the thought before displaying her emotional hand, a little thought can go a long way. I say this all the time to women, don't RUSH to get it wrong, take your time.

This isn't about her or any women being a predator, this is about not understanding how men work through their own relationships and how they move through the dating scene and I can say how they move around makes no sense and is 100% different than how we women move through relationships and dating, women FAILING to know this creates a lot of pain and frustration, men aren't rejecting women in general, they are rejecting undesirable behavior, behavior that doesn't connect with them so they move on, it's not personal, the women who tweak how they relate and respond and react to men do better than the women who do nothing but what feels good to them, those women fail a lot at her relationships with men.

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by tiki33

I dated a libra and he didn't hardly know me, met me a day before my birthday, called me on my birthday, showed up on my doorstep bearing birthday gifts, we spent almost all of our time together. I did not have to chase him, I did not have to tell him I liked him, he did all the work, if a Libra wants a woman he'll make it known fairly quickly. The ending was mostly do to both of us being immature and not ready, Libra and Aqua make for a good match though.

Posted by tiki33
Also my ex libra said "I love you" first days after meeting me, he initiated and I was so shocked I didn't say it back immediately and that hurt his feelings a bit but we got over it, my point being Libra's are not that lazy emotionally, they will step up if the women is the right fit for him during whatever time and phase he's at mentally and emotionally, it is a timing issue for some Air signs.

Agreed. I've seen the same thing with these guys. You sit back and take it easy and they WILL do the chasing.

I think women need to remember that because men and women differ in how they approach dating that sometimes you gotta take the "old fashioned" approach and let him show his interest in you before you take the lead, do anything forward. I'm all for women wanting to take the lead, but too often, it backfires. So sit back, let him show you that he's interested, which will be REALLY obvious if you pay attention, and then you can start the more forward bits.

I think that women also need to remember, much like guys chasing girls, there's always the risk of rejection in some dumb way, shape, or form. Generally, I don't think women are used to this concept as for ages it was all about the guy pursuing them.

However, in regard to this scenario, it's fricken ridiculous that he split after an "I like you." Really? Had it been "love" I would get it, but "like?" Wtf evar. Float away, little air sign and have fun with your sock and lotion. This chica deserves better.

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++1

I disagree. Nothing wrong with telling a libra you like them. If they like you back all is well. If they dont then they'll back off as to not play with or lead you on. Simply as that. At least thats how i am, but then again i'm a girl.

Tiz I hear you, my mind ticked over a million times literally LOL before I stopped kicking myself in my own ass.

Posted by pinklibra
I disagree. Nothing wrong with telling a libra you like them. If they like you back all is well. If they dont then they'll back off as to not play with or lead you on. Simply as that. At least thats how i am, but then again i'm a girl.

Are you reading our comments? No one said it was wrong, her outcome was wrong figuratively b/c the feelings she shared were not reciprocated, telling someone you like them isn't wrong but there are potential consequences of our actions with men when we do that be it too soon or not to soon.

I guess.

Posted by tiziani
The funny thing is tiki, even though I find myself nodding to everything you say... I don't necessarily see a woman stating her feelings point blank as her doing the chasing. I myself would probably actually respect the honesty if it came from the right person.

You generally know when a woman is a predator and when she isn't, after a few trips around the block. It's just called being a decent judge of character.

It really depends on the individual relationship and timing rather than there being an art or rules for everyone.

I like you tiziani. You're very mature and well balanced and grounded. Have you always been like this? Or was it something you have become as a Libra through time and working on your self?

Posted by reightyseven
I've gone on 5-6 dates with a Libra man. Everything was going great until I told him that I liked him. Ever since I mentioned that he's been acting distant. I asked him what was going on and he apologized for being aloof, it was because we weren't on the same page. I told him I understand and was just being honest. I asked if he still wanted to get to know each other.. No response. Is he weighing his options or just too scared to say No to me?

Honestly I've noticed this with multiple signs in the last year and it's why I'm still single. Now a days it seems like the moment you show you care guys run away these days. Everything is casual these days and it sucks! If you really like him go silent.. we're drawn to those that are hard to get. Let him chase and take a step back from acting as interested and treat him as more of a friend. Eventually you'll get what you want but it's bullshit that you have to play hard to get