My Libra boyfriend broke up with me - no reason

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slonce5
@slonce5
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 96 · Topics: 16
My Libra boyfriend recently broke up. Out of the sudden he stopped to have feelings for me. He sees me as a friend now. He told his entire family about me and now this. We did not have any fights or disagreements. He told me once that he is afraid of being close to someone. Before he met me, he was alone for 2.5 years. I really did not see it coming. We were supposed to talk tonight about it.

Any insights?
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rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
These guys tend to jump in fast, and move on as equally as fast.

When someone is in love with the idea of love, they get a little too excited when someone new comes along, get all gung ho about it, and then after they have you, they start to question whether you truly are the one. Then they distance themselves, reconsidering everything. It's why they "suddenly" take off and friend zone you when they decide that you aren't the one.

It sucks because the other person's feelings are never considered in the matter. You're suffering from the actions of an inherently self centered, immature individual.

Consider them as someone who constantly suffers "buyers remorse" when dating.

The really immature ones are notorious for this behavior.

Good luck with talking to him. He gets a gold star if he's actually honest with you and gives you the real reasons as to why he's backing out. They tend to sugar coat to the point of a thick glaze when it comes to this type of stuff.

Btw, when a guy uses that "scared" bullshit line as an excuse not to get close, they're full of shit. If a guy truly is into you, "scared" isn't going to keep him away from you. And if they really are supposedly "scared" they shouldn't be dating and should be focusing on solving their issues before they date.
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pinklibra
@pinklibra
15 Years1,000+ Posts

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Not another one. No this is not just a Libra trait, however I must admit I see it a lot more often on our board than others. Smh. Every time I read a post, it reminds me to mind my emotions and flightiness when dating. I have a habit of getting excited just as Rocky said, and yes I would rather friend zone a person then to cut them off completely, especially if they are good person and I enjoy their company. If I don't like them in that way I will tell them; but I like people so I'm always interested in staying friends. If they aren't cool with friends, then I will back out all the way and respect their wishes. I must add, I don't get flight though when I truly like someone and certainly not on my boyfriend. I'm a fighter for my relationship if I??ve officially made you mines, I'm there until the bitter end. I have the emotional scars to prove that.
My sign is indeed in love with the idea of love. However that does not mean we cannot actually fall in love, because we do. And when we do the other person never has to worry about these question marks and flighty behavior. The only time I bring that side out of me is when I??ve fallen for someone and they don't show the same amount of interest in me. I hate it. I don't like liking someone more than they like me, even if that's not the case it's important to make sure I know that's not the case through your actions otherwise, I'm either ghost or my nonchalant stand-off wall goes up. I don't care how much I like you, if I can prevent you from making a fool of me or hurting my feelings I will.
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tiki33
@tiki33
19 Years10,000+ Posts

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RED FLAGS 2.5 years as a single man and He told you that he is afraid of being close to someone and you took a chance on that!

Well that alone was a big queue/red flag that he was unavailable. Next time listen! Listen to a man when he reveals very important information about himself.

Make this a lesson learned, the next guy you meet that reveal he has a history of being single and is afraid of being close to someone DON'T GET CLOSE to him.
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slonce5
@slonce5
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 96 · Topics: 16
Posted by rockyroadicecream
These guys tend to jump in fast, and move on as equally as fast.

When someone is in love with the idea of love, they get a little too excited when someone new comes along, get all gung ho about it, and then after they have you, they start to question whether you truly are the one. Then they distance themselves, reconsidering everything. It's why they "suddenly" take off and friend zone you when they decide that you aren't the one.

It sucks because the other person's feelings are never considered in the matter. You're suffering from the actions of an inherently self centered, immature individual.

Consider them as someone who constantly suffers "buyers remorse" when dating.

The really immature ones are notorious for this behavior.

Good luck with talking to him. He gets a gold star if he's actually honest with you and gives you the real reasons as to why he's backing out. They tend to sugar coat to the point of a thick glaze when it comes to this type of stuff.

Btw, when a guy uses that "scared" bullshit line as an excuse not to get close, they're full of shit. If a guy truly is into you, "scared" isn't going to keep him away from you. And if they really are supposedly "scared" they shouldn't be dating and should be focusing on solving their issues before they date.



I am still not whether being scared or not is just an excuse. I used to be afraid of commitment because of many traumas from my past, so I know that a person can be afraid of closeness. It is also scary to me that feelings can just change so easily and rapidly without any apparent reason.
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slonce5
@slonce5
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 96 · Topics: 16
>RED FLAGS 2.5 years as a single man and He told you that he is afraid of being close to someone and you took a chance on that!

Well that alone was a big queue/red flag that he was unavailable. Next time listen! Listen to a man when he reveals very important information about himself.

Make this a lesson learned, the next guy you meet that reveal he has a history of being single and is afraid of being close to someone DON'T GET CLOSE to him.

Yes you are totally right. These were red flags. But he really treated me very well. He was very considerate, gentle, sweet, respectful. He waited 2.5 months before we slept together. He kept his words and promises. He is also from a very stable family and seemed to be close to them.
At least I did not fall in love with him. Because these two red flags I got a bit scared. We talked about his fears openly, he said that he was also insecure because the way he looks.
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Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11841 · Topics: 2
Posted by rockyroadicecream
These guys tend to jump in fast, and move on as equally as fast.

When someone is in love with the idea of love, they get a little too excited when someone new comes along, get all gung ho about it, and then after they have you, they start to question whether you truly are the one. Then they distance themselves, reconsidering everything. It's why they "suddenly" take off and friend zone you when they decide that you aren't the one.

It sucks because the other person's feelings are never considered in the matter. You're suffering from the actions of an inherently self centered, immature individual.

Consider them as someone who constantly suffers "buyers remorse" when dating.

The really immature ones are notorious for this behavior.

Good luck with talking to him. He gets a gold star if he's actually honest with you and gives you the real reasons as to why he's backing out. They tend to sugar coat to the point of a thick glaze when it comes to this type of stuff.

Btw, when a guy uses that "scared" bullshit line as an excuse not to get close, they're full of shit. If a guy truly is into you, "scared" isn't going to keep him away from you. And if they really are supposedly "scared" they shouldn't be dating and should be focusing on solving their issues before they date.



True story! That's how immature Libras usually function. You really need to find that one in a million mature libra man who wouldn't do things like that.

I also totally agree with Rocky on the scared part, but that applies to everyone, especially air signs. We feel scared and take flight when we aren't into someone.

He didn't just stop having feelings for you. There's two things that either happened:

1) you did something really bad or you both have been fighting for a while (this sounds like a pure one sided story); or

2) he found someone else who he considers better than you. The emergence of this new person has provided him with a source of comparison. Hence, second guessing or change of mind.
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rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Posted by slonce5
Posted by rockyroadicecream
These guys tend to jump in fast, and move on as equally as fast.

When someone is in love with the idea of love, they get a little too excited when someone new comes along, get all gung ho about it, and then after they have you, they start to question whether you truly are the one. Then they distance themselves, reconsidering everything. It's why they "suddenly" take off and friend zone you when they decide that you aren't the one.

It sucks because the other person's feelings are never considered in the matter. You're suffering from the actions of an inherently self centered, immature individual.

Consider them as someone who constantly suffers "buyers remorse" when dating.

The really immature ones are notorious for this behavior.

Good luck with talking to him. He gets a gold star if he's actually honest with you and gives you the real reasons as to why he's backing out. They tend to sugar coat to the point of a thick glaze when it comes to this type of stuff.

Btw, when a guy uses that "scared" bullshit line as an excuse not to get close, they're full of shit. If a guy truly is into you, "scared" isn't going to keep him away from you. And if they really are supposedly "scared" they shouldn't be dating and should be focusing on solving their issues before they date.



I am still not whether being scared or not is just an excuse. I used to be afraid of commitment because of many traumas from my past, so I know that a person can be afraid of closeness. It is also scary to me that feelings can just change so easily and rapidly without any apparent reason.
click to expand




It doesn't matter if it's an excuse or not. As Tiki said, it's a bit of a red flag. Someone should not attempt dating if they're so damned scared of being with someone else. Stay single, resolve your fucked up issues, and THEN attempt dating. People use dating for therapy which is soo wrong, self absorbed, and delusional. You are using someone else's time, emotions, and efforts toward you to resolve problems that should either be handled on your own or by a professional.

I heard a quote once along those lines- "Be careful who you date. Some people aren't looking for a relationship, they're looking for therapy."

Something tells me that you're going to buy i
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rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by rockyroadicecream
These guys tend to jump in fast, and move on as equally as fast.

When someone is in love with the idea of love, they get a little too excited when someone new comes along, get all gung ho about it, and then after they have you, they start to question whether you truly are the one. Then they distance themselves, reconsidering everything. It's why they "suddenly" take off and friend zone you when they decide that you aren't the one.

It sucks because the other person's feelings are never considered in the matter. You're suffering from the actions of an inherently self centered, immature individual.

Consider them as someone who constantly suffers "buyers remorse" when dating.

The really immature ones are notorious for this behavior.

Good luck with talking to him. He gets a gold star if he's actually honest with you and gives you the real reasons as to why he's backing out. They tend to sugar coat to the point of a thick glaze when it comes to this type of stuff.

Btw, when a guy uses that "scared" bullshit line as an excuse not to get close, they're full of shit. If a guy truly is into you, "scared" isn't going to keep him away from you. And if they really are supposedly "scared" they shouldn't be dating and should be focusing on solving their issues before they date.



True story! That's how immature Libras usually function. You really need to find that one in a million mature libra man who wouldn't do things like that.

I also totally agree with Rocky on the scared part, but that applies to everyone, especially air signs. We feel scared and take flight when we aren't into someone.

He didn't just stop having feelings for you. There's two things that either happened:

1) you did something really bad or you both have been fighting for a while (this sounds like a pure one sided story); or

2) he found someone else who he considers better than you. The emergence of this new person has provided him with a source of comparison. Hence, second guessing or change of mind.
click to expand




3)Or he just realized this isn't what he wanted and has decided to re-prioritize her/the situation. It happens, especially when people rush in fast.
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tiki33
@tiki33
19 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 10616 · Topics: 40
"It doesn't matter if it's an excuse or not. As Tiki said, it's a bit of a red flag. Someone should not attempt dating if they're so damned scared of being with someone else. Stay single, resolve your fucked up issues, and THEN attempt dating. People use dating for therapy which is soo wrong, self absorbed, and delusional. You are using someone else's time, emotions, and efforts toward you to resolve problems that should either be handled on your own or by a professional.

I heard a quote once along those lines- "Be careful who you date. Some people aren't looking for a relationship, they're looking for therapy."

Something tells me that you're going to buy i"

+++1


"But he really treated me very well. "

But if you really dig a bit deeper of course he can treat you very well because he is the only one that know he's going to eventually leave the women he's treating well so why not pull out all the stops, bells and whistels before exiting the relationship therefore you're the one going to be left feeling like a dumped loser all the while you're elevating his insecure (I don't like how I look) ass to the highest degree stuck in love all by yourself alone which validates that he's worthy and special of love despite how insecure he feels about himself. This is torture! And unfortunately you're the one left feeling tortured.

If you stay stuck in love AFTER he's dumped you you are only validating him, validating how lovable he is despite how insecure and afraid he is. This is what he's after, he's after validation and the only way to get it in his pea brain mind is to use good treatment and love to get it--even if he's winging it and faking it.

The next guy who states he's insecure, he's been single for years due to his issues with his looks, afraid of being close and he's not in therapy weekly to resolve his issues--IT'S A SET UP--do not walk--run because he's going to honeymoon you and dump you. This isn't just a libra thing, I can't even blame this behavior on being a libra. This is assclown behavior.
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Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11841 · Topics: 2
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by aquarius09
Posted by rockyroadicecream
These guys tend to jump in fast, and move on as equally as fast.

When someone is in love with the idea of love, they get a little too excited when someone new comes along, get all gung ho about it, and then after they have you, they start to question whether you truly are the one. Then they distance themselves, reconsidering everything. It's why they "suddenly" take off and friend zone you when they decide that you aren't the one.

It sucks because the other person's feelings are never considered in the matter. You're suffering from the actions of an inherently self centered, immature individual.

Consider them as someone who constantly suffers "buyers remorse" when dating.

The really immature ones are notorious for this behavior.

Good luck with talking to him. He gets a gold star if he's actually honest with you and gives you the real reasons as to why he's backing out. They tend to sugar coat to the point of a thick glaze when it comes to this type of stuff.

Btw, when a guy uses that "scared" bullshit line as an excuse not to get close, they're full of shit. If a guy truly is into you, "scared" isn't going to keep him away from you. And if they really are supposedly "scared" they shouldn't be dating and should be focusing on solving their issues before they date.



True story! That's how immature Libras usually function. You really need to find that one in a million mature libra man who wouldn't do things like that.

I also totally agree with Rocky on the scared part, but that applies to everyone, especially air signs. We feel scared and take flight when we aren't into someone.

He didn't just stop having feelings for you. There's two things that either happened:

1) you did something really bad or you both have been fighting for a while (this sounds like a pure one sided story); or

2) he found someone else who he considers better than you. The emergence of this new person has provided him with a source of comparison. Hence, second guessing or change of mind.
click to expand




3)Or he just realized this isn't what he wanted and has decided to re-prioritize her/the situation. It happens, especially when people
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Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11841 · Topics: 2
Posted by slonce5
We just talked on the phone. He said that he is confused and flaky. I did nothing wrong. He enjoyed spending time with me and he would love to stay friends. He feels bad that he put me through it.



Don't go making friends with assholes like that. Friendship card used in situations like this usually means "you're not good enough to date but I still want you as a therapist or an ego booster". 🙂

And what do silly lil girls do? They take the offer in hopes that they'll get the guy via "friendship", which it really isn't. It's just a self serving move on his part.
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tiki33
@tiki33
19 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 10616 · Topics: 40
+ Aquarius09

Do not reward him with friendship for dumping you. Don't be that desperate to keep him around. He made his choice, let him live with his decision.

Now you're friendzoned. Are you going to reward him with more love, more attention, more friendship for dumping you?

So now you're still into him right, still want him, still attracted to him and because he bailed out so suddenly you have not had time to process it all and therefore can't stop those emotions. If I can just show him how much he's losing, how great I am for him he'll change his mind. No! He won't but he will continue to benefit from dumping you. He'll use you as a therapist and you'll feel used and on top of that you'll still struggle with feeling dumped--emotional torture.

Move on as fast as you can. The quickest way to get over him is to get under somebody else--figuratively and/or literally.

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rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
13 Years10,000+ Posts

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Posted by slonce5
We just talked on the phone. He said that he is confused and flaky. I did nothing wrong. He enjoyed spending time with me and he would love to stay friends. He feels bad that he put me through it.



And number three it was!

I'm sorry. It sucks. Been there a few times with these idiots. Is this solely a Libra thing? No. But many are very guilty of it (just check out the post history on this forum), and it's also an immature guy thing. ANYONE who moves in uber fast is one to watch out for because they will be gone just as quickly as they rushed in. It's a huge red flag of an immature/emotionally unbalanced individual.
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tiki33
@tiki33
19 Years10,000+ Posts

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+1 Spicity

For the record--I love librans! Aqua's and Libra's get on well.

Remaining friends with a guy that has lost romantic interest is futile. When a man friend zones a woman of any sign it's the end, the "let's be friends" extended suggestion is to soften the blow.

If a guy dumped me for no apparent reason I'd use my common sense. If he can dump me as his girlfriend--someone who meant something to him then surely he can easily dump me as a friend. Why would I send myself through that mess when I don't have to.

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Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11841 · Topics: 2
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by slonce5
We just talked on the phone. He said that he is confused and flaky. I did nothing wrong. He enjoyed spending time with me and he would love to stay friends. He feels bad that he put me through it.



And number three it was!

I'm sorry. It sucks. Been there a few times with these idiots. Is this solely a Libra thing? No. But many are very guilty of it (just check out the post history on this forum), and it's also an immature guy thing. ANYONE who moves in uber fast is one to watch out for because they will be gone just as quickly as they rushed in. It's a huge red flag of an immature/emotionally unbalanced individual.
click to expand




+1. Oh Rocky, we won't know if it's option 2 until she sees him somewhere with the new shiny toy.
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slonce5
@slonce5
15 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 96 · Topics: 16
Hi,
Thank you all for responses, advice and support. I am not going to stay friends with him. I will not be able to move on if I had contact with him.
I have dated many men, but this never happened to me before. 4 and half months of dating, no fights, no problems, no disagreements and an unexpected break up. But I usually date Scorpios, Cancers or Capricorns.These are more emotional, fixed and intense signs.
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Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11841 · Topics: 2
Posted by tiki33
+1 Spicity

For the record--I love librans! Aqua's and Libra's get on well.

Remaining friends with a guy that has lost romantic interest is futile. When a man friend zones a woman of any sign it's the end, the "let's be friends" extended suggestion is to soften the blow.

If he can dump me as his girlfriend--someone who meant something to him then surely he can easily dump me as a friend.



+1 on softening the blow by offering friendship. I totally agree with Tiki on a man who isn't reliable as a bf, what kind of friendship does he have to offer?

When my ex bf was refusing to get back together after our gazillion break up, he wanted to remain friends while I didn't because I wasn't emotionally ready to be friends with him just yet and nor was he such a stellar bf worthy of friendship. He whined about how I didn't wanna be his friend after the break up, but the desperation in his voice and behaviour showed me that the "friendship" was more about him having me around while he processes the break up vs. my mental well being.
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JBG
@JBG
11 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 493 · Topics: 51
I beg to differ a tad as to why they want you around for "friendship". Although softening the blow could be a reason. IMO more likely I think it is a selfish attempt to keep you around and under their nose so you don't completely move on IF he doesn't find anything better out there.

He wants the option to do his thing, all the while knowing you're still around to comfort him & possibly run back to in case he falls on his face out there. Especially if you were a good girl.

I wouldn't offer friendship, but do what feels right for you.
GOOD LUCK 🙂

You'll figure it out with Gods help & the good sense he gave you. Pray about it.
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rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Posted by JBG
I beg to differ a tad as to why they want you around for "friendship". Although softening the blow could be a reason. IMO more likely I think it is a selfish attempt to keep you around and under their nose so you don't completely move on IF he doesn't find anything better out there.

He wants the option to do his thing, all the while knowing you're still around to comfort him & possibly run back to in case he falls on his face out there. Especially if you were a good girl.

I wouldn't offer friendship, but do what feels right for you.
GOOD LUCK 🙂

You'll figure it out with Gods help & the good sense he gave you. Pray about it.



Puhlease, it's softening the blow AND keeping you around as a potential option/emotional safety net. That's how these manchildren function.
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Aquarius09
@aquarius09
14 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 679 · Posts: 11841 · Topics: 2
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by JBG
I beg to differ a tad as to why they want you around for "friendship". Although softening the blow could be a reason. IMO more likely I think it is a selfish attempt to keep you around and under their nose so you don't completely move on IF he doesn't find anything better out there.

He wants the option to do his thing, all the while knowing you're still around to comfort him & possibly run back to in case he falls on his face out there. Especially if you were a good girl.

I wouldn't offer friendship, but do what feels right for you.
GOOD LUCK 🙂

You'll figure it out with Gods help & the good sense he gave you. Pray about it.



Puhlease, it's softening the blow AND keeping you around as a potential option/emotional safety net. That's how these manchildren function.
click to expand




Precisely! It's both!!! Softening the blow will get him your "friendship", which he wants for his selfishness.