scrp1106
@scrp1106
18 YearsScorpio
Comments: 0 · Posts: 55 · Topics: 5
Scorpio/Libra Madness
Have you ever met this guy?
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The voice was right he had betrayed me!!! Suddenly, he was noncommunicative, he didn't want discuss it...all he wanted to know was whether I forgave him, I usually don't even want to work it out with someone when they cheat, but for some reason beyond my understanding, I was willing with him... I specifically said that I can't say I forgive you but we can try and work this out...what he heard is beyond me— The next nine months, was sheer turmoil, like I stated earlier he didn't want to discuss the situation...unless he was telling me about how she was having a terrible pregnancy and that the baby might not make it...when I tried to tell him that she was making more out of the situation then it really was...he acted as if I had 4 heads...I cried more in those months then I can ever remember crying in my lifetime...and he acted as if I was the one in the wrong...
You'd think that would have had me running in the opposite direction, but it didn't... Damn my need for mystery!!! I moved to SC in the fall a week after "his baby" was born. When he first told me, I asked him was he planning to get a paternity test, since they weren't dating and it was a one night stand...he was like yes, then he was like I know it's mine...
It's 3 years later, and truth...I think I've fallen out of love with him! I don't even know if I even still like him. He's made more than few promises to change, he has even admitted to knowing that he's taking me for granted, but he can't explained why he keeps doing it..."His baby" I have never seen!!!! We fight all the time because he doesn't communicate, and he doesn't take my feelings into consideration...he has literally sat on the couch and watched me cry without even so much as getting up and comforting me...that's when he's the cause of my tears...when my grandmother died and when I cry about missing my mom (she passed) then he comforts me!!! He always talks about I'm the best thing that has happened to him, he doesn't want to lose me, he wants a family with me, but he does nothing to make me want that!! I keep hoping that finally all my sacrifice won't be in vain...but I have no children and I'm 32...I told him that if I don't see some major changes in the next few months...I'm going to have to give up on this and move on!!!
I don't think I have the energy to do this anymore...why are Libras so crazy— And I have an anger that I've never had before with any of my other relationships!!! Please help
The voice was right he had betrayed me!!! Suddenly, he was noncommunicative, he didn't want discuss it...all he wanted to know was whether I forgave him, I usually don't even want to work it out with someone when they cheat, but for some reason beyond my understanding, I was willing with him... I specifically said that I can't say I forgive you but we can try and work this out...what he heard is beyond me— The next nine months, was sheer turmoil, like I stated earlier he didn't want to discuss the situation...unless he was telling me about how she was having a terrible pregnancy and that the baby might not make it...when I tried to tell him that she was making more out of the situation then it really was...he acted as if I had 4 heads...I cried more in those months then I can ever remember crying in my lifetime...and he acted as if I was the one in the wrong...
You'd think that would have had me running in the opposite direction, but it didn't... Damn my need for mystery!!! I moved to SC in the fall a week after "his baby" was born. When he first told me, I asked him was he planning to get a paternity test, since they weren't dating and it was a one night stand...he was like yes, then he was like I know it's mine...
It's 3 years later, and truth...I think I've fallen out of love with him! I don't even know if I even still like him. He's made more than few promises to change, he has even admitted to knowing that he's taking me for granted, but he can't explained why he keeps doing it..."His baby" I have never seen!!!! We fight all the time because he doesn't communicate, and he doesn't take my feelings into consideration...he has literally sat on the couch and watched me cry without even so much as getting up and comforting me...that's when he's the cause of my tears...when my grandmother died and when I cry about missing my mom (she passed) then he comforts me!!! He always talks about I'm the best thing that has happened to him, he doesn't want to lose me, he wants a family with me, but he does nothing to make me want that!! I keep hoping that finally all my sacrifice won't be in vain...but I have no children and I'm 32...I told him that if I don't see some major changes in the next few months...I'm going to have to give up on this and move on!!!
I don't think I have the energy to do this anymore...why are Libras so crazy— And I have an anger that I've never had before with any of my other relationships!!! Please help
* why are Libras so crazy—
I don't think the Libra is crazy honey. You have put up with bad behavior from this guy for five years and are suddenly demanding he change. He is who he is. You fell in love with a guy with bad character. You didn't look at him and say wow ... he is so reliable and trustworthy ... wow he always puts me and my needs first. Yet you gave him your heart willingly.
You didn't fall in love with HIM. You fell in love with something he isn't and never will be.
I don't think the Libra is crazy honey. You have put up with bad behavior from this guy for five years and are suddenly demanding he change. He is who he is. You fell in love with a guy with bad character. You didn't look at him and say wow ... he is so reliable and trustworthy ... wow he always puts me and my needs first. Yet you gave him your heart willingly.
You didn't fall in love with HIM. You fell in love with something he isn't and never will be.
I told him from day one what I expect from a relationship, now I admit that I shouldn't have gone back on my word a few times, but I try to give my relationship as many chances as I can before I say the heck with it...
It's funny that you would say that ...You didn't fall in love with HIM. You fell in love with something he isn't and never will be.
I fell in love with the person he presented!!! I gave him the real me from first day and that is he who represented himself as, someone communicative, etc, etc. And then this other person emerged.
It's funny that you would say that ...You didn't fall in love with HIM. You fell in love with something he isn't and never will be.
I fell in love with the person he presented!!! I gave him the real me from first day and that is he who represented himself as, someone communicative, etc, etc. And then this other person emerged.
* I fell in love with the person he presented!!!
No honey. He was always there under the words. You even said he broke promise after promise from the beginning onward. He presented himself as an unreliable person without integrity. Whatever he told you, his actions betrayed who he really was. And that is why you are angry, because you wanted to believe in him and now you realize you never should have.
(((scrp)))
No honey. He was always there under the words. You even said he broke promise after promise from the beginning onward. He presented himself as an unreliable person without integrity. Whatever he told you, his actions betrayed who he really was. And that is why you are angry, because you wanted to believe in him and now you realize you never should have.
(((scrp)))
Get out of my head ((LOL))!! So are you saying that he's never going to be the person he claimed to be
I am saying that his actions betray his claims. He will always be the truth of who he is and his actions are who he is.
so really I've wasted 5 years of my life with a liar!!! so no matter how many times he say i'm going to do better, he really isn't cause he can't do any better than what he's doing right now?...
What you aren't getting is YOU turned a blind eye to who he was. People can lie with their mouths, they can't lie with their actions.
Why would he change? You have shown him with YOUR actions that you this is enough for you. What you say, throw, scream, weep, etc doesn't change the fact that you were/are willing to settle for this.
When you change your actions, change your life so it is in integrity with the way that you believe you wish to be treated, changing him will no longer be important.
Why would he change? You have shown him with YOUR actions that you this is enough for you. What you say, throw, scream, weep, etc doesn't change the fact that you were/are willing to settle for this.
When you change your actions, change your life so it is in integrity with the way that you believe you wish to be treated, changing him will no longer be important.
the only thing that i see i need to change is my address....i mean when i met him i had taken 5 years off to really concentrate on me so that i wouldn't find myself in situations like i am now...i had a really paranoia problem...not trusting any man and that's before they gave me a reason not to...so when i met him i was at a good place...now by trying to implement my new way of thinking, I'm to blame? I can't understand that...don't he have to be accountable for his actions...
The only way to resolve this in my eyes is basically to leave...really!
The only way to resolve this in my eyes is basically to leave...really!
He is accountable for his actions yes. But you are accountable for YOUR actions as well.
You have to ask yourself why you listened to what he was saying and not what he was doing. Why did you feel it was okay to be treated this way? (You may not have felt it was okay but you accepted it which means on some level it was okay or beat being alone.)
Personally, I think you should leave but what I am trying to do is show you how to make better choices. It isn't all his fault. It isn't all your fault.
Find a man of good character. He does what he says he will, when he says he will. He is thoughtful, loyal, and dependable. They ARE out there. Don't settle.
🙂
You have to ask yourself why you listened to what he was saying and not what he was doing. Why did you feel it was okay to be treated this way? (You may not have felt it was okay but you accepted it which means on some level it was okay or beat being alone.)
Personally, I think you should leave but what I am trying to do is show you how to make better choices. It isn't all his fault. It isn't all your fault.
Find a man of good character. He does what he says he will, when he says he will. He is thoughtful, loyal, and dependable. They ARE out there. Don't settle.
🙂
No, you are not to blame. You stayed true to yourself and your beliefs, he did not. It is not staying true to ourselves in the easy times that define us, but doing it in the hardest of times. For that you should be commended...
But, now you have to not merely stay true to yourself, but be there for yourself. Realize what you deserve and truly want in life, and then go get it. Obviously, at this point in his life, he is not capable of giving you want you want and need in a relationship. Perhaps one day, he will grow into the person that he presents himself as. And, perhaps one day, he will be able to give you what you want and need. But, that day is not today. Find acceptance in that, and seek happiness...
But, now you have to not merely stay true to yourself, but be there for yourself. Realize what you deserve and truly want in life, and then go get it. Obviously, at this point in his life, he is not capable of giving you want you want and need in a relationship. Perhaps one day, he will grow into the person that he presents himself as. And, perhaps one day, he will be able to give you what you want and need. But, that day is not today. Find acceptance in that, and seek happiness...
Thanks, my best friend is also dating a libra and we are pretty much in the same situation minus the child... I'm preparing myself for what I've known for a while what I need to do...i hate that i have wasted these many years!!
The essence of scorp libra is emotions and sex. Over the internet I dont think it can work out or will ever work out unless you meet them within a few months time. If its an intellectual connection, it can go on and on but not this pattern. Unless you(scorp) make it a point to shag a libra within the first few months, they wont stick around. So dont get upset over this. Its not worth it.
Wow, scorp1106, I have no idea where to begin. I have been involved with this kind of libra as well as the one of good charactor. It isn't unusual that the two of you connected so well even before meeting, my Libra (who is the best Libra for me) and I also met right here on DXP and have been happy since, we are still long distance, but not for long. But over a year? Damn you good. I know we scorps can be determined when in love but gosh.
You know when you need to move on. If you aren't happy change your situation, you can't change him. Don't regret life experiences, there is always something to learn from them, even the not so pleasant ones. Good luck
You know when you need to move on. If you aren't happy change your situation, you can't change him. Don't regret life experiences, there is always something to learn from them, even the not so pleasant ones. Good luck
thelibran. They have met. I think they live together now, or at least in the same city/state...
* You stayed true to yourself and your beliefs, he did not
No she didn't. She says she wants to be treated better. She says she wants a man who communicates, puts her first, etc ... yet she went for a man who didn't act this way but said he would.
What she says she wants is out of integrity with what she is doing. She is mirroring what he is doing. In both cases, what they say doesn't match what they do.
No she didn't. She says she wants to be treated better. She says she wants a man who communicates, puts her first, etc ... yet she went for a man who didn't act this way but said he would.
What she says she wants is out of integrity with what she is doing. She is mirroring what he is doing. In both cases, what they say doesn't match what they do.
Hmmm. LS, I get that. I tell my friends all the time. When they say, " I am so tired of him..." I say, no your not, you aren't tired, you are still taking the same crap.
Exactly. Thanks QS.
I am becoming more and more aware of how when we live with authentic integrity and live our truth our lives flow smoother.
I do not believe saying one thing and doing another brings us closer to our truth. It is a denial of self.
I am becoming more and more aware of how when we live with authentic integrity and live our truth our lives flow smoother.
I do not believe saying one thing and doing another brings us closer to our truth. It is a denial of self.
Yup... I totally agree with that.
"* You stayed true to yourself and your beliefs, he did not
No she didn't. She says she wants to be treated better. She says she wants a man who communicates, puts her first, etc ... yet she went for a man who didn't act this way but said he would.
What she says she wants is out of integrity with what she is doing. She is mirroring what he is doing. In both cases, what they say doesn't match what they do."
I disagree. I was actually referring to her having previously come to the conclusion about the type of person that she wanted to be herself (one that forgives, one that gives people another chance, etc.), not the person she wanted to be with. It can be hard to find a balance between the person you have decided to try to be and asserting what you truly want in life when those things come into conflict with each other.
No she didn't. She says she wants to be treated better. She says she wants a man who communicates, puts her first, etc ... yet she went for a man who didn't act this way but said he would.
What she says she wants is out of integrity with what she is doing. She is mirroring what he is doing. In both cases, what they say doesn't match what they do."
I disagree. I was actually referring to her having previously come to the conclusion about the type of person that she wanted to be herself (one that forgives, one that gives people another chance, etc.), not the person she wanted to be with. It can be hard to find a balance between the person you have decided to try to be and asserting what you truly want in life when those things come into conflict with each other.
Exactly, alcheme! The old "me" would've kicked his behind to curb at the very first sign of discord, but I was trying to become the person that realizes that people aren't perfect and they make SOME mistakes and I can't keep cutting people off because they don't hold up to my extremely high standards...but in doing that I realize that I have falling short in being true to my needs!!!
What I post was just a piece of what I've dealt with with him...I mean he has his good days, too, but most of the time he drives me crazy because I can not deal with inconsistency and he has this annoying way of waiting until the last minute to deal with issues...and no matter how many times my "predictions" come out to be right, he still will not listen to me...he still wants to do things halfass'd and then wondering why he's knee deep in shit!!!!
Like I stated earlier, he's not all bad...he stimulates me intellectually because the last thing I needed was another man wanting me just for my body...the problem is emotionally! I don't feel like we connect anymore emotionally!...We had a talk the other night, let me be honest, I talked he listened...and I asked him if this was all I had to look forward to (his present behavior) and he said "No, he realize that he's being an asshole and he was going to make a change." So I countered with, "How do you think you can reverse in a few months what took you 3 years to get to." He answered, "There's nothing I can say to make you believe me, I'm just going to have to show you."
Well, I'm in the middle of writing a novel and I asked him for his input, he did give me his input and then he asked, "Is there something I should be doing, while you're writing this book, so you can get published?"
I mean is this typical Libra behavior? Was that his way of saying, I'm going to do better?
Still holding out for hope,
Scrp1106
What I post was just a piece of what I've dealt with with him...I mean he has his good days, too, but most of the time he drives me crazy because I can not deal with inconsistency and he has this annoying way of waiting until the last minute to deal with issues...and no matter how many times my "predictions" come out to be right, he still will not listen to me...he still wants to do things halfass'd and then wondering why he's knee deep in shit!!!!
Like I stated earlier, he's not all bad...he stimulates me intellectually because the last thing I needed was another man wanting me just for my body...the problem is emotionally! I don't feel like we connect anymore emotionally!...We had a talk the other night, let me be honest, I talked he listened...and I asked him if this was all I had to look forward to (his present behavior) and he said "No, he realize that he's being an asshole and he was going to make a change." So I countered with, "How do you think you can reverse in a few months what took you 3 years to get to." He answered, "There's nothing I can say to make you believe me, I'm just going to have to show you."
Well, I'm in the middle of writing a novel and I asked him for his input, he did give me his input and then he asked, "Is there something I should be doing, while you're writing this book, so you can get published?"
I mean is this typical Libra behavior? Was that his way of saying, I'm going to do better?
Still holding out for hope,
Scrp1106
"Who would drown the sound of history repeating, with the ambulances screaming up the street?" do to do!
I give up. I can't help. I can't relate. You can forgive yet hold to your boundaries and you can't change anyone but yourself.
I give up. I can't help. I can't relate. You can forgive yet hold to your boundaries and you can't change anyone but yourself.
scrp1106, just know that if you continue to hold on, you can't expect him to be what you want him to be. He is who he is and love him for that or leave him. People do change, when THEY want too. You can wait around to see if he will, why life passes you by or you can find a man who meets your needs. Simple.
Oh, and no one is perfect. To me who you chose to be in a relationship is a person who you can accept as they are. Some things people can tolerate things others can't and visa versa. People do change as well, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worst, whichever, one should live with someone who adds to their life not take away from it. Just my humble opinion... Life is too short to live it unhappy.
applause to QS.
I agree. You should want a partner who is on your side, who accepts you and who you accept. Flaws and all. Goes both ways.
I agree. You should want a partner who is on your side, who accepts you and who you accept. Flaws and all. Goes both ways.
"Was that his way of saying, I'm going to do better?"
On some level, does it really matter, right now? What you are wanting and needing cannot possibly come from superficial short-term changes. You tried meeting the man half-way. Aren't you tired of holding up your life and happiness while he decides if he even wants to show up? How much longer are you willing to wait? A month? Three months? Six months? A year? Another five years? Stop waiting for him, and live your life...
You believe in giving people another chance, but it is not that you are not giving the guy another chance. You merely are not doing it at the cost of your own happiness and fulfillment. Cutting people out of our lives is not giving them another chance. Who knows, if he ever does show up, perhaps your paths will bring you back together again... But, tell the guy to give you a ring when he gets there because you have a life to live until then. And, then, go live it...
On some level, does it really matter, right now? What you are wanting and needing cannot possibly come from superficial short-term changes. You tried meeting the man half-way. Aren't you tired of holding up your life and happiness while he decides if he even wants to show up? How much longer are you willing to wait? A month? Three months? Six months? A year? Another five years? Stop waiting for him, and live your life...
You believe in giving people another chance, but it is not that you are not giving the guy another chance. You merely are not doing it at the cost of your own happiness and fulfillment. Cutting people out of our lives is not giving them another chance. Who knows, if he ever does show up, perhaps your paths will bring you back together again... But, tell the guy to give you a ring when he gets there because you have a life to live until then. And, then, go live it...
I don't think that this has anything to do with the fact that he's a Libra. He is a man afterall and it can happen with any sign. I'm sorry that you ended up with a jerk, but please don't judge all Libra men so. Some of my favorite people are Libra men and they would never do such a thing.
Baby S, I'm thinking the same thing. His dad is a Libra, as well, and he is nothing like this. In fact, my mom was a Libra and she was absolutely nothing like this, but then my best friend is also dating a Libra and has the same problems, so ... go figure!! LOL
scrp1106, we Scorps give so much of ourselves when in love - to a fault at times. Our determination tries to make it work. At some point you have to choose. Choose you.
QS, that is sooo true...soo true! A curse and a blessing when you ask me...and one thing i've tried to change about myself and just can't seem to...i'm like that with my family as well!!!
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ahhhh
w h a t t h e h e l l !!!
im so angry right now i just found out the scorp i still have feelings for is being chased by not one but TWO libras!!
ahhhh
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My story began almost 5 years ago, we met online. What's funny is that I didn't intend on meeting anyone online (EHarmony wasn't popular at that time, so online dating was still a little taboo), I had logged on because I wanted to get some information about moving to Atlanta. So when I asked anyone in the chatroom if they were from/near Atlanta, he answered. So we ended up talking about ATL for a short while and then we talked for hours about just anything...I was amazed. Because everyone knows usually in chatroom you get questioned a/s/l and then it's about hooking up to get busy...but he wasn't like that. Well, we talked online everyday for months (I was leery to give out my home/work numbers)...but finally I did and we talked everyday on the phone minus 5 days when he went to the Bahamas on a class reunion trip.
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2004, he sent me this beautiful package for V-Day...and we discussed my moving down there with him...which,(I know still crazy), I was really contemplating. Then the day after V-Day...I called him and sounded like he had lost his best friend, told me he couldn't talk, but he needed to tell me something. So, I was up late watching television and I just heard this voice telling me, that he had slept with someone and now she's pregnant...a month earlier I confronted him about a dream that I had had about him chosing another woman over me...he laughed it off and said that it was just me being paranoid and he didn't want anyone but me...