Starting off with a Libra

Is it common for Libra's to lie in the beginning of relationships to make themselves look better to the person they like? Do they always change their personalities to fit that of the person of the person they're seeing at the time?

Sorry, scratch one of those "of the person's" I left in there.

Posted by Shruikan
Is it common for Libra's to lie in the beginning of relationships to make themselves look better to the person they like? Do they always change their personalities to fit that of the person of the person they're seeing at the time?

Not for me, either you like me or you don't. I don't need to look better for anyone. What I need in my life are people who'd just accept me for who I am without judgment.

Most guys mistake with me is, they're already trying to figure out how to polish me to their liking. Most of them want me to quit smoking, I just tell them, "Well, I'm gonna miss you!"

I don't change my personality for the person I'm seeing. I do try to accommodate their needs/feelings as long as I feel like it's reasonable and logical for me to do so. If not, then no, I won't do it.

Posted by tiziani
I would try and avoid accusatory language like "LYING" if you want to understand them better, but yes it is common for Libras to be people-pleasers. And of course, the mirror is always there reflecting.

Perhaps it's because I'm a Scorpio... but to me, changing who you are to "people please" is lying. I don't mean any offense, by the way. I'm actually really interested. How would you say people pleasing is different from lying to someone?

Posted by AesmaDaeva

Posted by Shruikan
Is it common for Libra's to lie in the beginning of relationships to make themselves look better to the person they like? Do they always change their personalities to fit that of the person of the person they're seeing at the time?

Not for me, either you like me or you don't. I don't need to look better for anyone. What I need in my life are people who'd just accept me for who I am without judgment.

Most guys mistake with me is, they're already trying to figure out how to polish me to their liking. Most of them want me to quit smoking, I just tell them, "Well, I'm gonna miss you!"

I don't change my personality for the person I'm seeing. I do try to accommodate their needs/feelings as long as I feel like it's reasonable and logical for me to do so. If not, then no, I won't do it.

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This makes sense. You sound very straight up. That's a good thing. I prefer this to "people pleasing"

shru i think you've misconstrued the definition of people pleasing and put two unrelated stuff together.

Posted by AesmaDaeva
shru i think you've misconstrued the definition of people pleasing and put two unrelated stuff together.

Explain please.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Shruikan

Posted by tiziani
I would try and avoid accusatory language like "LYING" if you want to understand them better, but yes it is common for Libras to be people-pleasers. And of course, the mirror is always there reflecting.

Perhaps it's because I'm a Scorpio... but to me, changing who you are to "people please" is lying. I don't mean any offense, by the way. I'm actually really interested. How would you say people pleasing is different from lying to someone?

No worries, I didn't take any personal offence. It was just my advice if you want to get some non-confrontational, truthful answers.


Asking a Libra why do you people please is like asking a Scorpio why they stung? It's in the nature.


If you understand that then you understand a Libra isn't really changing themselves for anyone at all. It's part of our role to allow people to feel comfortable around us. Not everyone is going to like what they see when they see we can do that with almost anyone. They don't trust it.

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Understandable. So if you're dating a Libra, how do you know when they're showing you the real them? I wanna see the purity of that Libra's soul. Not what she wants me to see. I don't want mirrors. I want her as she is. Is that possible, or not because mirrors are part of her soul?

Posted by Shruikan

Posted by AesmaDaeva
shru i think you've misconstrued the definition of people pleasing and put two unrelated stuff together.

Explain please.

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ok i will a bit later. sorry a bit busy now.

Posted by Impulsv
Most people give it their best at initial stage of dating. That is all signs trying to present the best n hiding the shadows. One can say people pleasing, lying , ect. That's why it's ur responsibility to take the time to really get to know em. I'm sure u do this as well.

well... damn. Time... that sucks

Posted by tiziani
A Libra is a reciprocal partner and we enjoy learning about ourselves in relationships in ways we never even knew existed when single. So yes the mirror is part of the essence.

Are you really frustrated with the thought she's changing herself or frustrated with the possibility you're trying to change her to something she's not?

The only advice I'd give between Water and Air signs is, if an Air sign tells you something in words - take it at face value. Don't try and see the deeper meaning into it if there is none. And don't underestimate what you bring to her life, because for her that's probably even a large part of the purity.

I'm not a Libra woman though. So they're better off posting here than me.

I'm scared I'm forcing her to change into something she's not. I'm scared that I'll fall for her more only to learn that the one I love isn't that person at all. I'm scared of getting lied to, not just personality stuff, but about things that have happened between us. I'm scared cause she's the first I have trusted immediately, only to find that there were lies. It had never happened to me because I never trust. Until her.

I don't know how to handle any of this.

Posted by Shruikan

Posted by tiziani
I would try and avoid accusatory language like "LYING" if you want to understand them better, but yes it is common for Libras to be people-pleasers. And of course, the mirror is always there reflecting.

Perhaps it's because I'm a Scorpio... but to me, changing who you are to "people please" is lying. I don't mean any offense, by the way. I'm actually really interested. How would you say people pleasing is different from lying to someone?

click to expand

Here's the first issue you have. Her changing for you is actually a compliment. That means she values your input. I like it when people tell me what I can change as long as they're not acting high and mighty about it.

People pleasing is LITERALLY that - you want to please someone. You wanna know what they like and don't like. You remember every bit of detail about them and do that when the right time comes.

Would I lie to you if I know it'd hurt your feelings? No.

Would I lie to you to if I know you don't really want to hear the truth but just looking for validation?

This depends on my mood. No, if I'm in a bad mood and you keep annoying me, then I'd tell you the truth without caring how I'd come across.

Yes, if I don't wanna waste my saliva showing you the truth when you're not ready to see. I do that when I try to tell them the truth but they still deny it and choose to bury their heads in the sand.

Posted by AesmaDaeva

Posted by Shruikan

Posted by tiziani
I would try and avoid accusatory language like "LYING" if you want to understand them better, but yes it is common for Libras to be people-pleasers. And of course, the mirror is always there reflecting.

Perhaps it's because I'm a Scorpio... but to me, changing who you are to "people please" is lying. I don't mean any offense, by the way. I'm actually really interested. How would you say people pleasing is different from lying to someone?

Here's the first issue you have. Her changing for you is actually a compliment. That means she values your input. I like it when people tell me what I can change as long as they're not acting high and mighty about it.

People pleasing is LITERALLY that - you want to please someone. You wanna know what they like and don't like. You remember every bit of detail about them and do that when the right time comes.

Would I lie to you if I know it'd hurt your feelings? No.

Would I lie to you to if I know you don't really want to hear the truth but just looking for validation?

This depends on my mood. No, if I'm in a bad mood and you keep annoying me, then I'd tell you the truth without caring how I'd come across.

Yes, if I don't wanna waste my saliva showing you the truth when you're not ready to see. I do that when I try to tell them the truth but they still deny it and choose to bury their heads in the sand.

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But she did this for guys she claimed to not even care about. So... is she lying to me about not caring? Can she not help it?

Posted by Impulsv
Most people give it their best at initial stage of dating. That is all signs trying to present the best n hiding the shadows. One can say people pleasing, lying , ect. That's why it's ur responsibility to take the time to really get to know em. I'm sure u do this as well.

Yup! Everyone gives it their best at the early stages of relationship. I change when I feel unappreciated, neglected and ignored. When I feel like anything I do isn't good enough, I try to change it but if I still see the same amount of indifference, I won't even bother. I need to be acknowledged for my efforts as well, not just used and abused to your heart's content.

Posted by tiziani
A Libra is a reciprocal partner and we enjoy learning about ourselves in relationships in ways we never even knew existed when single. So yes the mirror is part of the essence.

Are you really frustrated with the thought she's changing herself or frustrated with the possibility you're trying to change her to something she's not?

The only advice I'd give between Water and Air signs is, if an Air sign tells you something in words - take it at face value. Don't try and see the deeper meaning into it if there is none. And don't underestimate what you bring to her life, because for her that's probably even a large part of the purity.

I'm not a Libra woman though. So they're better off posting here than me.

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Nice, Tiz! You know your leeb women. 😄

Posted by Shruikan

Posted by AesmaDaeva

Posted by Shruikan

Posted by tiziani
I would try and avoid accusatory language like "LYING" if you want to understand them better, but yes it is common for Libras to be people-pleasers. And of course, the mirror is always there reflecting.

Perhaps it's because I'm a Scorpio... but to me, changing who you are to "people please" is lying. I don't mean any offense, by the way. I'm actually really interested. How would you say people pleasing is different from lying to someone?

Here's the first issue you have. Her changing for you is actually a compliment. That means she values your input. I like it when people tell me what I can change as long as they're not acting high and mighty about it.

People pleasing is LITERALLY that - you want to please someone. You wanna know what they like and don't like. You remember every bit of detail about them and do that when the right time comes.

Would I lie to you if I know it'd hurt your feelings? No.

Would I lie to you to if I know you don't really want to hear the truth but just looking for validation?

This depends on my mood. No, if I'm in a bad mood and you keep annoying me, then I'd tell you the truth without caring how I'd come across.

Yes, if I don't wanna waste my saliva showing you the truth when you're not ready to see. I do that when I try to tell them the truth but they still deny it and choose to bury their heads in the sand.

But she did this for guys she claimed to not even care about. So... is she lying to me about not caring? Can she not help it?

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I can't comment until you elaborate. What exactly is the problem? You can pm me if you like.

Posted by Shruikan
I'm scared I'm forcing her to change into something she's not. I'm scared that I'll fall for her more only to learn that the one I love isn't that person at all. I'm scared of getting lied to, not just personality stuff, but about things that have happened between us. I'm scared cause she's the first I have trusted immediately, only to find that there were lies. It had never happened to me because I never trust. Until her.

Wait a minute, you're forcing her to change? WHY? Is it for her own good or is it because you're trying to mold her more to your liking? What sort of change are you imposing?

I understand your fears about being lied to but it's really up to her to honor that and acknowledge your fears. Just be open about it, let her know about that. Don't sweep it under the rug.

No, I said I'm scared I am. I say that because she keeps changing to me and giving up things she loves which I do not want for her.

Posted by AesmaDaeva
Would I lie to you to if I know you don't really want to hear the truth but just looking for validation?

Yes, if I don't wanna waste my saliva showing you the truth when you're not ready to see. I do that when I try to tell them the truth but they still deny it and choose to bury their heads in the sand.

Here's the story about this incident. I was waiting for some documents from some gov't agency here. Obviously, I don't control the time frame of when I'd receive the documents, they only gave me an estimated time.

My fish though kept pestering me about when I'd get it even after I told him I don't know when I'd receive it. He was pulling the 'Woe is me, why doesn't anything go in my way?' Then he asked me, "Are you sure you'd get it at after 2 weeks?" I said, "Yes, that's what they said." Even if at the back of my mind, I knew there were probably gonna be delays.

2 weeks later, he asked again about it and told him that I don't have the documents yet. He was pissed at me for saying I was sure it'd be here by 2 weeks. So I told him, "You didn't wanna hear the truth. I told you there might be delays but you kept blaming me why it's taking so long when I have no control over it. I can only wait, just like you but you wanted to hold me accountable for something I have no control over, so yes, I lied to you to shut you up."

Posted by Shruikan
No, I said I'm scared I am. I say that because she keeps changing to me and giving up things she loves which I do not want for her.

Why does she feel the need to do that? 😢

So you lied. I'd be pissed too. Just say, " I have no clue. I have to wait like you do." You would have avoided him getting mad.

Posted by AesmaDaeva

Posted by Shruikan
No, I said I'm scared I am. I say that because she keeps changing to me and giving up things she loves which I do not want for her.

Why does she feel the need to do that? 😢

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I don't know. Maybe I'm an asshole. I should probably just set her free. She'd probably be better off. I should have known better. Fuck. Thanks for all the advice. Sorry to bug you all.

Posted by Shruikan
So you lied. I'd be pissed too. Just say, " I have no clue. I have to wait like you do." You would have avoided him getting mad.

I did say that but he was still being emo with the pity party I'm not interested to keep entertaining.
I tried to reassure him but he was still being emo. I was exasperated. It became an argument again for the 3rd time. So, I chose to teach him a lesson that if I say, "I don't know, we're both waiting." It's exactly that - I DON"T FUCKING KNOW.

He did learn after that incident. I told him the truth, he refused to acknowledge the truth and wanted to blame someone for his frustration. In that case, he blamed me. So I chose to show him, if you refuse to see the truth, all you'll see are lies.

Posted by Shruikan

Posted by AesmaDaeva

Posted by Shruikan
No, I said I'm scared I am. I say that because she keeps changing to me and giving up things she loves which I do not want for her.

Why does she feel the need to do that? 😢

I don't know. Maybe I'm an asshole. I should probably just set her free. She'd probably be better off. I should have known better. Fuck. Thanks for all the advice. Sorry to bug you all.

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Self-deprecation talk. Zzz You really won't get anywhere with that. You're gonna give up without trying to understand it? What a cop out, man.

Bah, this is going nowhere. You didn't even state the situation and why there's all this confusion. We won't get to the bottom of this.

Posted by AesmaDaeva

Posted by Shruikan

Posted by AesmaDaeva

Posted by Shruikan
No, I said I'm scared I am. I say that because she keeps changing to me and giving up things she loves which I do not want for her.

Why does she feel the need to do that? 😢

I don't know. Maybe I'm an asshole. I should probably just set her free. She'd probably be better off. I should have known better. Fuck. Thanks for all the advice. Sorry to bug you all.

Self-deprecation talk. Zzz You really won't get anywhere with that. You're gonna give up without trying to understand it? What a cop out, man.

Bah, this is going nowhere. You didn't even state the situation and why there's all this confusion. We won't get to the bottom of this.

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I understand where you're coming from, but I never wished to give any person any personal details. I asked the questions I asked to understand Libra's mind a little more. Which you helped with. Thank you. The personal details of my relationship are just that. Personal.

I don't represent the whole leeb population. I'm just one broken glass of the whole mirror.

Still, your insight was very helpful. I've spoken to many Libra's face to face about this. I've researched. I've spoken to my libra about all of these things openly and to the best of my ability. You may be one piece of glass, but I've looked to many other places as well. I only needed a little insight into a personality trait I noticed generally expressed by Libra's in particular.

I am going to bring the Libra Shadow up in here because I find it fitting. Not to be offended lovely scales but there's darkness to a libra and it needs to be in the open. Also not saying this is what is happening with the libras the OP meets but still.

Well some snippets from it:

Playing one person off against another is common fare for the Libran shadow. It takes the form of either a casual mention - 'Oh, John was all over me at the party, he kept trying to convince me to leave you and go away with him. It was hard to say no, he's very handsome, after all.' Or a deliberate although unconscious arrangement where one competitor bumps into the other leaving/entering the flat, or dates are confused where two people arrive at once, or??_. Well, you know the game. When you're embroiled in it, it's extremely painful. When you're the Libran who's got so insecure that you have to use your gifts of relationship to manipulate people in this way, it's very flattering. And when you're the observer, well, perhaps you feel a mixture of compassion and disgust, depending on your viewpoint.

What is it really about? Well, it stems, in part, from Libra's craving for approval. The need for affection and acceptance from others is a basic Libran need, and is most obvious in the fact that Librans usually hate being alone. They want and need companionship, not only of the romantic kind, but of the friendship kind as well. This game of flirtation and competition isn't only limited to sexual encounters. Librans do it to their friends, their business partners, even their parents. It's universal and isn't only limited to sexual insecurity. The only way Libra can confront his shadow is to first see it in operation, reflect on how it feels to be put in the situation oneself, consider the fairness (since nothing ever penetrates a Libra's mind without having relevance to his principles) of it, and try to like himself a little more, so that he doesn't depend on an entire army of admirers to do his liking for him. Which gets us down to the nub of it: Libra's tendency to esteem himself too little and others too much. The Coy Maiden is the inevitable result of somebody who's just too insecure to believe one lover, one friend, is enough to convince him he's lovable.

Posted by tiziani
We don't play people off against each other. That's Pisces. We do lap up the attention when it's on offer though.

I didn't read it like that and I agree about Pisces.

I do read it as being liked which there is nothing wrong with that. Not bringing that person up to evoke an emotional reaction of jealousy in the partner.

More like..See? I am this awesome! People like me 😄.

Adorbz.

Posted by Impulsv
They say someone can keep up the facade upto 2 years. Then the real comes out. Time is ur answer.

3 months.

Hmph.

My god damn Scorpio tried to pass himself off as an Aquarius when we first met. I shoulda known when I caught him teary-eyed during a movie. 😛

So none of this nonsense about teh Leebz.

In all seriousness, no.

In fact, I always went the other extreme. I purposely would be the most blah, everyday, dont-give-a-fuck version of me at first. Casual attire (jeans and sneakers, not dress/heels), no makeup, hair in ponytail. Messy car. No cheerleader smiles or talking in that high-pitched "heehee im on a date —" voice. And zero verbal filter. None of the "first date etiquette" shit. Tacky jokes are inevitable. As is grabbing many mints from the restaurant bowls. If I'm tired or grumpy, even better.

Basically my Sag Moon dropkicks my Libra Sun and then runs amok. I always *wanted* to send up every red flag possible early on, so neither of our time is wasted.

By having them seeing me at my least polished, I can see if they're truly compatible with the real me, if they'd survive me past the honeymoon stage, and most importantly, the right person will actually be pleasantly surprised seeing my true colors.

I call it the Anti-Honeymoon Phase. 😈

And it worked for me. 🙂 —

Posted by Damnata
I am going to bring the Libra Shadow up in here because I find it fitting. Not to be offended lovely scales but there's darkness to a libra and it needs to be in the open. Also not saying this is what is happening with the libras the OP meets but still.

Well some snippets from it:

Playing one person off against another is common fare for the Libran shadow. It takes the form of either a casual mention - 'Oh, John was all over me at the party, he kept trying to convince me to leave you and go away with him. It was hard to say no, he's very handsome, after all.' Or a deliberate although unconscious arrangement where one competitor bumps into the other leaving/entering the flat, or dates are confused where two people arrive at once, or??_. Well, you know the game. When you're embroiled in it, it's extremely painful. When you're the Libran who's got so insecure that you have to use your gifts of relationship to manipulate people in this way, it's very flattering. And when you're the observer, well, perhaps you feel a mixture of compassion and disgust, depending on your viewpoint.

What is it really about? Well, it stems, in part, from Libra's craving for approval. The need for affection and acceptance from others is a basic Libran need, and is most obvious in the fact that Librans usually hate being alone. They want and need companionship, not only of the romantic kind, but of the friendship kind as well. This game of flirtation and competition isn't only limited to sexual encounters. Librans do it to their friends, their business partners, even their parents. It's universal and isn't only limited to sexual insecurity. The only way Libra can confront his shadow is to first see it in operation, reflect on how it feels to be put in the situation oneself, consider the fairness (since nothing ever penetrates a Libra's mind without having relevance to his principles) of it, and try to like himself a little more, so that he doesn't depend on an entire army of admirers to do his liking for him. Which gets us down to the nub of it: Libra's tendency to esteem himself too little and others too much. The Coy Maiden is the inevitable result of somebody who's just too insecure to believe one lover, one friend, is enough to convince him he's lovable.

So than it appears that my complaint is not with the Libra, bu

Posted by munchkin
In all seriousness, no.

In fact, I always went the other extreme. I purposely would be the most blah, everyday, dont-give-a-fuck version of me at first. Casual attire (jeans and sneakers, not dress/heels), no makeup, hair in ponytail. Messy car. No cheerleader smiles or talking in that high-pitched "heehee im on a date —" voice. And zero verbal filter. None of the "first date etiquette" shit. Tacky jokes are inevitable. As is grabbing many mints from the restaurant bowls. If I'm tired or grumpy, even better.

Basically my Sag Moon dropkicks my Libra Sun and then runs amok. I always *wanted* to send up every red flag possible early on, so neither of our time is wasted.

By having them seeing me at my least polished, I can see if they're truly compatible with the real me, if they'd survive me past the honeymoon stage, and most importantly, the right person will actually be pleasantly surprised seeing my true colors.

I call it the Anti-Honeymoon Phase. 😈

Anti-honeymoon, I do the same thing!! I always thought I was just weird though.

Posted by Damnata


Playing one person off against another is common fare for the Libran shadow. It takes the form of either a casual mention - 'Oh, John was all over me at the party, he kept trying to convince me to leave you and go away with him. It was hard to say no, he's very handsome, after all.' Or a deliberate although unconscious arrangement where one competitor bumps into the other leaving/entering the flat, or dates are confused where two people arrive at once, or??_. Well, you know the game. When you're embroiled in it, it's extremely painful. When you're the Libran who's got so insecure that you have to use your gifts of relationship to manipulate people in this way, it's very flattering. And when you're the observer, well, perhaps you feel a mixture of compassion and disgust, depending on your viewpoint.

What is it really about? Well, it stems, in part, from Libra's craving for approval. The need for affection and acceptance from others is a basic Libran need, and is most obvious in the fact that Librans usually hate being alone. They want and need companionship, not only of the romantic kind, but of the friendship kind as well. This game of flirtation and competition isn't only limited to sexual encounters. Librans do it to their friends, their business partners, even their parents. It's universal and isn't only limited to sexual insecurity. The only way Libra can confront his shadow is to first see it in operation, reflect on how it feels to be put in the situation oneself, consider the fairness (since nothing ever penetrates a Libra's mind without having relevance to his principles) of it, and try to like himself a little more, so that he doesn't depend on an entire army of admirers to do his liking for him. Which gets us down to the nub of it: Libra's tendency to esteem himself too little and others too much. The Coy Maiden is the inevitable result of somebody who's just too insecure to believe one lover, one friend, is enough to convince him he's lovable.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that the Libra that's been confusing me lately is like, little shadow. Maybe it's because I'm scorpio, but it's the shadow side that through's me for a loop. 90% of the time I feel very happy and content. But 10% I feel like I do nothing right. This shadow thing makes sense. We've all got our shado

We've all got our shadow's. Mine sucks. Of that, I'm sure. I've faced it many times. I think I show it more than she does too. Food for my own thought. I strive to be better, but I find myself falling. Yin and Yang. I guess we just keep pushing forward.

Posted by Damnata
The Libran shadow isn't after all, Bad, False and Ugly. But it can be a little too Good, too True and too Beautiful for its own good. Anybody playing the role finds very quickly, too, that you have to keep moving from admirer to admirer, because if you stay too long with one, the mirror might suddenly wake up one morning really sick of saying, 'You're the fairest of them all,' and say something distressing like, 'What are you really like?' Then the game's up, and Libra has to confront a real relationship. Which is, after all, what his journey's truly about.

More generalized bullshi:!!!!!

Posted by Shruikan
Is it common for Libra's to lie in the beginning of relationships to make themselves look better to the person they like? Do they always change their personalities to fit that of the person of the person they're seeing at the time?

Trust me...NO....you either like me for me or not...PERIOD! What you see, is what you get. Who the fuq has time for all those personalities.

Posted by LIb4Life

Posted by Damnata
The Libran shadow isn't after all, Bad, False and Ugly. But it can be a little too Good, too True and too Beautiful for its own good. Anybody playing the role finds very quickly, too, that you have to keep moving from admirer to admirer, because if you stay too long with one, the mirror might suddenly wake up one morning really sick of saying, 'You're the fairest of them all,' and say something distressing like, 'What are you really like?' Then the game's up, and Libra has to confront a real relationship. Which is, after all, what his journey's truly about.

More generalized bullshi:!!!!!

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Understand the shadow referenced few very specific individuals. Don't get bent up over it if it doesn't apply to you.

Have you spoken with your Libra about the changes you've seen? Are you openly communicating with her? Do those changes make you uncomfortable? Is that why you don't trust them? Most of us are communicators. Personally, I am as honest as I can possibly be about my feelings, wants, needs, BUT some things I am willing to sacrifice for someone I truly care about. I can compromise, bend, in order to make sure my partner is happy. It's not that I'm being dishonest or not myself...it's how I'm made, it IS the true me. Some things are not compromisable, I will let my partner know that under no terms will that change....that is when their power to accept me as I am has to kick in or I'm out. I do not put on a show initially in a relationship, I'm just me, plain and simple.

I'm glad you started this thread. I am currently dating a Scorpio. Now I wonder if he is seeing me as you see your Libra and may have a similar observation and concerns. He hasn't said anything in relation to any problems or concerns with us, but I'm curious if he's just not verbalized it yet.

OP,

Why don't you see your Libra as putting her best-foot-forward vs. Lying?
Also, why not see her as accommodating vs. Morphing into something she really is not?

Just curious...

It's extremely interesting reading the P-O-V of scorpions...

Questions - I understand fear of being hurt but do you guys not trust your instincts/guts? Or is the testing and/or mind games comes into place in lieu of trusting your instincts?

Posted by MissLibra
Have you spoken with your Libra about the changes you've seen? Are you openly communicating with her? Do those changes make you uncomfortable? Is that why you don't trust them? Most of us are communicators. Personally, I am as honest as I can possibly be about my feelings, wants, needs, BUT some things I am willing to sacrifice for someone I truly care about. I can compromise, bend, in order to make sure my partner is happy. It's not that I'm being dishonest or not myself...it's how I'm made, it IS the true me. Some things are not compromisable, I will let my partner know that under no terms will that change....that is when their power to accept me as I am has to kick in or I'm out. I do not put on a show initially in a relationship, I'm just me, plain and simple.

I'm glad you started this thread. I am currently dating a Scorpio. Now I wonder if he is seeing me as you see your Libra and may have a similar observation and concerns. He hasn't said anything in relation to any problems or concerns with us, but I'm curious if he's just not verbalized it yet.

I guess it's more paranoia that I'm forcing her changes rather than her just doing them for me. I've never thought of it like this.

Posted by intheair
OP,

Why don't you see your Libra as putting her best-foot-forward vs. Lying?
Also, why not see her as accommodating vs. Morphing into something she really is not?

Just curious...

I had never thought of it this way.... it's very interesting. Everything you read about the vulnerable stuff makes more sense to me. Maybe that's why I'm freaked out. I feel to... open. Even dependent a little. Ugh... I've never felt this way. It's horrible.

Posted by Impulsv
^^^ exactly
Scorpio all that fear is because it's ur first time being vulnerable, that's all. Don't confuse the fear with something being wrong. That's how we tend to sabatoge. As a fellow Scorpio who rarely ever been as u are I get it. Perhaps she is changing not for u but becoming her comfortable self with u. Are the changes things u don't like?

Vulnerable... ugh... I don't know how to deal with this

Posted by intheair
It's extremely interesting reading the P-O-V of scorpions...

Questions - I understand fear of being hurt but do you guys not trust your instincts/guts? Or is the testing and/or mind games comes into place in lieu of trusting your instincts?

With most everyone I trust my gut instincts and they're always right. With her, I trusted and had that trust destroyed more than once. It's part of how I got to be where I am with all of this I guess. I won't go into detail, other than to say, I now know (thanks to you all) that trust is a foundation issue here. Trust and vulnerability.

How do you harness control of something like that?