mysteriousTaurus
@mysteriousTaurus
11 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 16 · Posts: 2377 · Topics: 189
the cliche: right person wrong time.
Long story short:
Met my libra about 2 years ago, we were friends for about 6 months, then gradually became more than friends. We dated for a while, but both agreed that we need to focus on our studies, and most importantly ourselves.
Between the time of our break up, it's been about a little over a year.
Me, I'm doing pretty good, constantly working on improving myself and making drastic efforts towards becoming the person I want to be.
Him, not so much. Still hanging out with people that are negative and bad for him, -he says he doesn't but I think he does-. Still clinging to old haunting memories that scarred him as a child.
I try to help and be the positive and optimistic person in his life but he puts a wall of depression and fear between us.
We fought several times about him not letting me in emotionally. I told him so many times that I don't want him in my life if he's going to bring me down and refuse to help himself. I tried blocking his number, blocking him on social media and not answering his phone calls..
He always finds a way back to me. He'll message my best friend asking about me, he'll keep calling or texting me for months on end, recently he even went as far as showing up to my house!
why do you care for him? what is the reason?
I think @busyeyes will vouche for me on this one, when I say I don't want you in my life and to leave me alone, I actually mean it.
But my libra practically takes me as a joke and always always comes back. I can't do this anymore. I can't love someone who is unstable and self destructive.
To get a visualization, I'm kourtney kardashian and he's Scott disick. He doesn't love himself but constantly clings to me.
-well he's not a druggie or alcoholic or partier like Scott but hopefully you get the point-
What the fuck am I supposed to do? I'm now living in fear and paranoia that I'll come home one day and he'll be on my doorstep.
Is he calling out for help or something, I have no idea? And then when I try to get him to open up, he freaks out and is stand offish.
Anyone here with a psychology background, what kind of behavior is this? What is wrong with this person?
But my libra practically takes me as a joke and always always comes back. I can't do this anymore. I can't love someone who is unstable and self destructive.
To get a visualization, I'm kourtney kardashian and he's Scott disick. He doesn't love himself but constantly clings to me.
-well he's not a druggie or alcoholic or partier like Scott but hopefully you get the point-
What the fuck am I supposed to do? I'm now living in fear and paranoia that I'll come home one day and he'll be on my doorstep.
Is he calling out for help or something, I have no idea? And then when I try to get him to open up, he freaks out and is stand offish.
Anyone here with a psychology background, what kind of behavior is this? What is wrong with this person?
Posted by heraI used to love him romantically, we dated. But I want him to go away now and I can't get rid of him. He's damaged and won't help himself.
why do you care for him? what is the reason?
Posted by TaurusGirlRasIt's been over a year.
He'll get the point eventually
He doesn't love you. He's not ready. Its him not you. Hes incapable of loving until he finds the right one. But he needs to go through something's first. Move on.
and you told him to leave you alone nicely or? sometimes being nice isnt good.... if somebody tells me its over, than it is over...
maybe somebody else here can give you a good advice, i certainly have never been in a situation like this...sorry
maybe somebody else here can give you a good advice, i certainly have never been in a situation like this...sorry
Tell him to get the fuck on or you'll get a restraining order. I had a Libra that laughed they don't like ugly rude behavior tell him to kick rocks
Posted by prioritiesI think he and everyone else is incapable of loving until they love themselves first. I'm trying to move on but I keep getting pulled back. If he doesn't love me why is he pulling me back?
He doesn't love you. He's not ready. Its him not you. Hes incapable of loving until he finds the right one. But he needs to go through something's first. Move on.
Posted by heraOkay thanks for trying! And I told him both nicely and angrily.
and you told him to leave you alone nicely or? sometimes being nice isnt good.... if somebody tells me its over, than it is over...
maybe somebody else here can give you a good advice, i certainly have never been in a situation like this...sorry
Posted by heraThis situation is horrible I hope this never happens to you dear
and you told him to leave you alone nicely or? sometimes being nice isnt good.... if somebody tells me its over, than it is over...
maybe somebody else here can give you a good advice, i certainly have never been in a situation like this...sorry
Posted by mysteriousTaurusi can only imagine, hope you will solve this soon...maybe he feels you have still feelings for him...he knows somehow he can manipulate with your feelings... i hate those libras that dont know when they are toxic...immature, selfish.. 😢Posted by heraThis situation is horrible I hope this never happens to you dear
and you told him to leave you alone nicely or? sometimes being nice isnt good.... if somebody tells me its over, than it is over...
maybe somebody else here can give you a good advice, i certainly have never been in a situation like this...sorryclick to expand
i had a friend who was in a relationship with a libra like yours...after they broke up and she told him she doesnt want him around, he started doing very ugly things, talking ugly about her, that is the first time a saw the other side of a libra 😢
ignore him as much as possible...move on and find a better man, you deserve it 🙂
I hope this doesn’t come across as rude or attacking, remember this is the written word and doesn't convey feelings or attitude well.
He's pulling you in because you let him and he enjoys toying with your feelings.
Ignore him and mean it. Don't engage him in conversation, don't listen to him talk.
If he calls, hang up without a word.
If he texts, block him. Every time.
If he shows up on your doorstep, tell him you're calling the police and mean it.
Set boundaries, stop asking why.
If you can't do these things, then you're lying to yourself. If you really want to be over him, you may have to talk to someone (therapist) to find out why *you're* behaving the way you are when you know it's not good for you (or him).
Wishing you the best; this isn't an easy situation to go through.
He's pulling you in because you let him and he enjoys toying with your feelings.
Ignore him and mean it. Don't engage him in conversation, don't listen to him talk.
If he calls, hang up without a word.
If he texts, block him. Every time.
If he shows up on your doorstep, tell him you're calling the police and mean it.
Set boundaries, stop asking why.
If you can't do these things, then you're lying to yourself. If you really want to be over him, you may have to talk to someone (therapist) to find out why *you're* behaving the way you are when you know it's not good for you (or him).
Wishing you the best; this isn't an easy situation to go through.
i agree with sultrykitty mt. you need to take a hard line with him. he doesn't pull you back, you go back. you have all the power to determine what will be the outcome.
don't try and find a way to help him. don't negotiate. cut him off. if you need to know how horribly this can all end just talk to @blackphase. i think her insight would be invaluable to you.
don't try and find a way to help him. don't negotiate. cut him off. if you need to know how horribly this can all end just talk to @blackphase. i think her insight would be invaluable to you.
Posted by xXxAliciaXxXLibra
Where is his Venus?
Posted by mysteriousTaurusStop helping him.
Long story short:
Met my libra about 2 years ago, we were friends for about 6 months, then gradually became more than friends. We dated for a while, but both agreed that we need to focus on our studies, and most importantly ourselves.
Between the time of our break up, it's been about a little over a year.
Me, I'm doing pretty good, constantly working on improving myself and making drastic efforts towards becoming the person I want to be.
Him, not so much. Still hanging out with people that are negative and bad for him, -he says he doesn't but I think he does-. Still clinging to old haunting memories that scarred him as a child.
I try to help and be the positive and optimistic person in his life but he puts a wall of depression and fear between us.
We fought several times about him not letting me in emotionally. I told him so many times that I don't want him in my life if he's going to bring me down and refuse to help himself. I tried blocking his number, blocking him on social media and not answering his phone calls..
He always finds a way back to me. He'll message my best friend asking about me, he'll keep calling or texting me for months on end, recently he even went as far as showing up to my house!
Tell your bff to not answer him
Keep the block on your phone
Dont open the door. Call the cops
Stop asking why.
No more negotiations
Why did you use the title "right person wrong time"
He sounds like a nut job.
Who exactly is the right person in your story?
Do you love a guy who wont change?
Shouldnt the title of this thread be "how to draw up an effective restraining order."
He sounds like a nut job.
Who exactly is the right person in your story?
Do you love a guy who wont change?
Shouldnt the title of this thread be "how to draw up an effective restraining order."
Posted by ElTigre25Not gonna bother reading this tbh
My sympathy lines up with my sharp memory of you continuously ranting and attempting to put down Libras as a whole. The issue is denial. You, Aquarius09, rockroadicecream will always hold hate for Libra until you all learn to forgive, move on with your life, accept responsibility for your unjust actions, learn that both parties made mistakes and not just the Libra, don't place people on a pedestal, your wanting to 'solve conflict' could mean you putting up with bullshit you don't need to put up with [let's stop acting like people don't come here expecting to heal a cancerous sore]. I've mentioned on another thread how some of you are willing to learn so much about someone's sun sign and in the midst of it all, I am wondering how assertive are you of your own needs/wants. You can learn as much as you want about particular behavior of a particular individuals sign, but it's not going to be your saving grace. If you really knew the Libra so well, everything would be going smoothly, but it's not. Take some responsibility and learn that people are not programmed to be what you want them to be. Life is not ideal and we should first learn what we really want and if that want is attainable before we try to forge relationships. Trust me, it will only hurt you to keep talking about this guy.
Posted by DMVWe loved dated, we were compatible, but he's "not okay" at the moment, that's why the title is right person wrong time.
Why did you use the title "right person wrong time"
He sounds like a nut job.
Who exactly is the right person in your story?
Do you love a guy who wont change?
Shouldnt the title of this thread be "how to draw up an effective restraining order."
I think he sounds a little unstable as well.
I'll sleep on the restraining order.
Posted by Rambunctious76But for what? We're not even together. I've tried so many times to cut him off, don't you guys remember what I wrote... I blocked his number and he still finds me..Posted by mysteriousTaurusFor control.Posted by prioritiesI think he and everyone else is incapable of loving until they love themselves first. I'm trying to move on but I keep getting pulled back. If he doesn't love me why is he pulling me back?
He doesn't love you. He's not ready. Its him not you. Hes incapable of loving until he finds the right one. But he needs to go through something's first. Move on.click to expand
I just thought maybe someone had intuitive or insightful info on his behavior, like if someone ever did this to you before.. and what the overall outcome was.. at the point I have no idea what he wants from me and it almost frightens me I feel exposed like I can run but I can't hide
@spicensugar any thoughts?
Well since you asked...I think that there are several things that you should explore.
Firstly, if you truly feel physically or emotionally threatened by this guy, then as others have said, by all means, get a restraining order!! Also as mentioned above, keep copies of any and all contact from him as proof that you can provide in court or to police if necessary.
Secondly, if you wonder how or why YOUR behavior is linked to his, and you can't figure it out, then as someone also suggested, get therapy. I DON'T mean that in a negative way. Not at all. I mean it in a positive way. The reality is that much of our own behaviors actually affect how others respond to us. We don't always see it or know it, but it's how things work. As you mention that you're all about growth and self-improvement right now, it seems like a perfect time to do a bit of therapy to explore your own personality, needs, wants, life goals, etc.
Now, here's the rest of my take. I think this guy keeps coming around because he NEEDS you. He's obviously got problems and they're obviously serious. Perhaps you provide him with some kind of stability, perhaps he admires your groundedness, who knows?! I have no doubt that he needs some serious therapy, and in a very different way from what I suggested for you. It sounds like he needs medication and may have clinical issues (i.e. depression, bipolar, or something else...). This being said, YOU are NOT responsible for him. YOU can NOT change him. HE needs to be ready to get the help that he actually needs. You've already told him numerous times to get help and he hasn't. So, now is when you STOP telling him that. STOP pushing toward HIS self-improvement. Yes, you mean well...but he'll get it when he needs it.
Finally, your constantly pushing him away might actually be feeding into his dependent behavior, but again, you won't be able to see how and why if you don't get some therapy yourself. How does it affect you to be around him when other friends are there? Does it still make you feel frightened or uncomfortable? Or are you able to handle his presence under certain circumstances?
Firstly, if you truly feel physically or emotionally threatened by this guy, then as others have said, by all means, get a restraining order!! Also as mentioned above, keep copies of any and all contact from him as proof that you can provide in court or to police if necessary.
Secondly, if you wonder how or why YOUR behavior is linked to his, and you can't figure it out, then as someone also suggested, get therapy. I DON'T mean that in a negative way. Not at all. I mean it in a positive way. The reality is that much of our own behaviors actually affect how others respond to us. We don't always see it or know it, but it's how things work. As you mention that you're all about growth and self-improvement right now, it seems like a perfect time to do a bit of therapy to explore your own personality, needs, wants, life goals, etc.
Now, here's the rest of my take. I think this guy keeps coming around because he NEEDS you. He's obviously got problems and they're obviously serious. Perhaps you provide him with some kind of stability, perhaps he admires your groundedness, who knows?! I have no doubt that he needs some serious therapy, and in a very different way from what I suggested for you. It sounds like he needs medication and may have clinical issues (i.e. depression, bipolar, or something else...). This being said, YOU are NOT responsible for him. YOU can NOT change him. HE needs to be ready to get the help that he actually needs. You've already told him numerous times to get help and he hasn't. So, now is when you STOP telling him that. STOP pushing toward HIS self-improvement. Yes, you mean well...but he'll get it when he needs it.
Finally, your constantly pushing him away might actually be feeding into his dependent behavior, but again, you won't be able to see how and why if you don't get some therapy yourself. How does it affect you to be around him when other friends are there? Does it still make you feel frightened or uncomfortable? Or are you able to handle his presence under certain circumstances?
Posted by Rambunctious76Posted by mysteriousTaurusWhen he finds you, do you react or walk away/hang up? When you react, you relinquish control to him. He is not controlling you but he wants to control you. He is possibly not able to accept that he can no longer control you and he is trying whatever it takes to get that back from you.Posted by Rambunctious76But for what? We're not even together. I've tried so many times to cut him off, don't you guys remember what I wrote... I blocked his number and he still finds me..Posted by mysteriousTaurusFor control.Posted by prioritiesI think he and everyone else is incapable of loving until they love themselves first. I'm trying to move on but I keep getting pulled back. If he doesn't love me why is he pulling me back?
He doesn't love you. He's not ready. Its him not you. Hes incapable of loving until he finds the right one. But he needs to go through something's first. Move on.
I just thought maybe someone had intuitive or insightful info on his behavior, like if someone ever did this to you before.. and what the overall outcome was.. at the point I have no idea what he wants from me and it almost frightens me I feel exposed like I can run but I can't hide
Which is where the second part of my earlier comment comes in. Restraining order.click to expand
I don't answer his texts and calls. Do you have to pay to get a restraining order?
@spicensugar he told me that he's falling apart and that when we dated he was very happy. He's so confused himself just looking at him makes me confused. Idk what to do... I'm gonna start researching this behavior and see what I come up with.
Thanks everyone for the replies.
Thanks everyone for the replies.
Posted by ElTigre25It's actually good advice. I can see how the beginning of the delivery could be off putting...but still good advice.
My sympathy lines up with my sharp memory of you continuously ranting and attempting to put down Libras as a whole. The issue is denial. You, Aquarius09, rockroadicecream will always hold hate for Libra until you all learn to forgive, move on with your life, accept responsibility for your unjust actions, learn that both parties made mistakes and not just the Libra, don't place people on a pedestal, your wanting to 'solve conflict' could mean you putting up with bullshit you don't need to put up with [let's stop acting like people don't come here expecting to heal a cancerous sore]. I've mentioned on another thread how some of you are willing to learn so much about someone's sun sign and in the midst of it all, I am wondering how assertive are you of your own needs/wants. You can learn as much as you want about particular behavior of a particular individuals sign, but it's not going to be your saving grace. If you really knew the Libra so well, everything would be going smoothly, but it's not. Take some responsibility and learn that people are not programmed to be what you want them to be. Life is not ideal and we should first learn what we really want and if that want is attainable before we try to forge relationships. Trust me, it will only hurt you to keep talking about this guy.
Posted by happyface1All I was trying to figure what he wanted from me, I don't know, he doesn't know, he's lost... and why he needs me so bad apparentlyPosted by ElTigre25It's actually good advice. I can see how the beginning of the delivery could be off putting...but still good advice.
My sympathy lines up with my sharp memory of you continuously ranting and attempting to put down Libras as a whole. The issue is denial. You, Aquarius09, rockroadicecream will always hold hate for Libra until you all learn to forgive, move on with your life, accept responsibility for your unjust actions, learn that both parties made mistakes and not just the Libra, don't place people on a pedestal, your wanting to 'solve conflict' could mean you putting up with bullshit you don't need to put up with [let's stop acting like people don't come here expecting to heal a cancerous sore]. I've mentioned on another thread how some of you are willing to learn so much about someone's sun sign and in the midst of it all, I am wondering how assertive are you of your own needs/wants. You can learn as much as you want about particular behavior of a particular individuals sign, but it's not going to be your saving grace. If you really knew the Libra so well, everything would be going smoothly, but it's not. Take some responsibility and learn that people are not programmed to be what you want them to be. Life is not ideal and we should first learn what we really want and if that want is attainable before we try to forge relationships. Trust me, it will only hurt you to keep talking about this guy.click to expand
This thinking is kind of what some of the others were trying to tell you is non productive.
It doesn't matter why feels the way he feels if you are TRULY trying to move past this situation.
You are giving the situation between you two power just by entertaining these thoughts.
Once you are truly over him and ready to be completely done with his antics....you'll see what some people were trying to tell you. Until then you will find reasons to try to understand rather than letting go and blocking him completely out.
It doesn't matter why feels the way he feels if you are TRULY trying to move past this situation.
You are giving the situation between you two power just by entertaining these thoughts.
Once you are truly over him and ready to be completely done with his antics....you'll see what some people were trying to tell you. Until then you will find reasons to try to understand rather than letting go and blocking him completely out.
Posted by mysteriousTaurusGood Luck... Not everyone understands this ... When someone who doesn't truly love themselves cling to you... Frustration to the max. It's so confusing “
I think @busyeyes will vouche for me on this one, when I say I don't want you in my life and to leave me alone, I actually mean it.
But my libra practically takes me as a joke and always always comes back. I can't do this anymore. I can't love someone who is unstable and self destructive.
To get a visualization, I'm kourtney kardashian and he's Scott disick. He doesn't love himself but constantly clings to me.
-well he's not a druggie or alcoholic or partier like Scott but hopefully you get the point-
What the fuck am I supposed to do? I'm now living in fear and paranoia that I'll come home one day and he'll be on my doorstep.
Is he calling out for help or something, I have no idea? And then when I try to get him to open up, he freaks out and is stand offish.
Anyone here with a psychology background, what kind of behavior is this? What is wrong with this person?
Hey I went through this with my ex... And it's almost as if you feel sorry for them because you know they want to be better but they don't know how to.. Listen to me, because everyone can always make it seem so easy... Pray about it and him... And don't get too emotionally invested... He knows you care and it's not even for a relationship aspect, it's because he needs someone that's a great person in his life ... And he might not know HOW to get there by himself...
Posted by mysteriousTaurusStop worrying about him and his needs.....you can't help someone that doesn't want to help themselves. In the meantime, you should reach back in time and slap the shyt out of the friends that gave him your contact information. That was just foul. Best of luck to ya though.Posted by happyface1All I was trying to figure what he wanted from me, I don't know, he doesn't know, he's lost... and why he needs me so bad apparentlyPosted by ElTigre25It's actually good advice. I can see how the beginning of the delivery could be off putting...but still good advice.
My sympathy lines up with my sharp memory of you continuously ranting and attempting to put down Libras as a whole. The issue is denial. You, Aquarius09, rockroadicecream will always hold hate for Libra until you all learn to forgive, move on with your life, accept responsibility for your unjust actions, learn that both parties made mistakes and not just the Libra, don't place people on a pedestal, your wanting to 'solve conflict' could mean you putting up with bullshit you don't need to put up with [let's stop acting like people don't come here expecting to heal a cancerous sore]. I've mentioned on another thread how some of you are willing to learn so much about someone's sun sign and in the midst of it all, I am wondering how assertive are you of your own needs/wants. You can learn as much as you want about particular behavior of a particular individuals sign, but it's not going to be your saving grace. If you really knew the Libra so well, everything would be going smoothly, but it's not. Take some responsibility and learn that people are not programmed to be what you want them to be. Life is not ideal and we should first learn what we really want and if that want is attainable before we try to forge relationships. Trust me, it will only hurt you to keep talking about this guy.click to expand
Loving someone who doesnt love themself is gonna be one toxic ride...and not one I wish to repeat as a Libra. I always find myself wanting to help people and I got trapped in a relationship but wanting him to become a better person but i ended up forgiving everything and he was sapping away all my energy. Hopeless situation
Keep him blocked and tell your friends to not disclose when he contacts you. A lot of your posts are about your impaired boundaries, not others. You have trouble with limiting the incoming reality of other people them blame them for your inability to protect yourself.
For instance if you perpetually receive abusive responses from members you can simply block them. This is the internet, people are going to be abusive, the perpetually abusive ones are blocked. That simple!
Everyone is telling the same thing in different ways because adults don't understand how you don't know this. But I work in mental health, and i see this everyday. His psychology is not your business, or the problem. But I don't think you can see it yet.
For instance if you perpetually receive abusive responses from members you can simply block them. This is the internet, people are going to be abusive, the perpetually abusive ones are blocked. That simple!
Everyone is telling the same thing in different ways because adults don't understand how you don't know this. But I work in mental health, and i see this everyday. His psychology is not your business, or the problem. But I don't think you can see it yet.
I dated a Libra like this 2 years ago and it lasted 2 weeks when I seen this side surface. After it ended he didn't get it and tried making excuses to see me, called constantly and then did the same thing just showed up at my place one night unannounced. Claimed he had nowhere else to go, which I knew was true, but also knew he probably had some other chick he could stay with for a night or two. Refused to let him in and reaffirmed my stance on our relationship and he said some mean things to me, but refused to be manipulated or have my kindness taken for weakness. You will know when you've had enough.
Posted by 2Mooni have no idea what his issue is, but im not losing sleep over it 😉 thanks pal xoxoPosted by ElTigre25you should change your "hater list "
My sympathy lines up with my sharp memory of you continuously ranting and attempting to put down Libras as a whole. The issue is denial. You, Aquarius09, rockroadicecream will always hold hate for Libra until you all learn to forgive, move on with your life, accept responsibility for your unjust actions, learn that both parties made mistakes and not just the Libra, don't place people on a pedestal, your wanting to 'solve conflict' could mean you putting up with bullshit you don't need to put up with [let's stop acting like people don't come here expecting to heal a cancerous sore]. I've mentioned on another thread how some of you are willing to learn so much about someone's sun sign and in the midst of it all, I am wondering how assertive are you of your own needs/wants. You can learn as much as you want about particular behavior of a particular individuals sign, but it's not going to be your saving grace. If you really knew the Libra so well, everything would be going smoothly, but it's not. Take some responsibility and learn that people are not programmed to be what you want them to be. Life is not ideal and we should first learn what we really want and if that want is attainable before we try to forge relationships. Trust me, it will only hurt you to keep talking about this guy.
change "You" to: " busyeyes88 " ..... this girl is @@##!@@# $ #(*&**%
she is THE hater. #1
I dont think mysteriousTaurus is hating..
and I dont think rockyroadicecream is hating...
she is just telling us what we are doing wrong. she tells the truth sometimes... exactly 100% , the real ugly truth...but i dont think its "hate".
its like criticism.. not hate.
criticism is awesome. I love it. tell me what im doing wrong and im ready to change-evolve. this shit is freeee! 🙂
click to expand
thanks for the replies everyone, you have all helped me in some way or another!
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Posted by ElTigre25
Um okay, was there a question someplace or was this just a diary? If someone shows an apparent disinterest, it is beyond me why you'd still peruse. What is e
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This libra guy comes back to me always but I dont know where I stand with him. He has V in Scorpio and Mars in libra. He is really sweet, everytime he comes back, we go on so many cute dates. The thing I hate about him though is that he is a little too my
Mine is Beauty and the BeastðŸ'Ÿ I'm watching it now and makin heart shaped cookies lol.
My point is, I'm here opening up and asking for intellgient insight from anyone who is a libra, anyone who has dealt with loving someone who doesn't love themselves, or anyone with a psychology background...
Negative comments that are attacking me will greatly be unappreciated.