The silent treatment from a Libra.......

How are some Libras able to give out the silent treatment? To me that is an IMPOSSIBLE TASK. If there is someone I'm angry at or that has hurt me I tend to want to tell them why they hurt me or why they made me mad in great detail....then I can ignore them also for the control factor because then after they apologize or whatever I am in control of when we talk again!

The libra's that can successfully do this must be a hybrid of some sort lol

Easy! It used to be hard, but it totally gets easier in time! 😄 I wish us libras were born with more patience though!

Thats weird I have an incredible amont of patience when it comes to people....I am also good at the silent treatment but there are very few personalities that bring that out of me.

Typically I want to hash it out right there. If there is a problem lets get it out in the open and solve it so we can move on. It kind of goes with a couple of my basic relationship rules like not going to bed angry, not arguing in the bedroom. If there is something wrong I will drag the other person to a nuetral place of the house like the living room and solve the problem no matter how tired I am. No going to bed angry, the bed is a sacred place for positive emotions only.

Typically I want to hash it out right there. If there is a problem lets get it out in the open and solve it so we can move on.

Thats what I thought....thats how I am that is why the silent treatment thing is throwing me....I thought that was a Virgo thing.

There are a numerous amount of Librans who do tend to present you with the silent treatment, especially when they are unsure of their feelings. Or are afraid of getting too close to you because they know the more time they spend with you the closer they will get to you. OR they hurt you and don't want to deal with facing that fact.

yeah he did......thats why i tried really hard to hurt him back!!!!

Well I won't be looking in the mail or at my phone anytime soon and he shouldn't either...silence goes both ways. Man I really need to do something about this bitterness towards men in general. my first mind said awhile ago they all suck....then i find a good one and what does he do not only leave like the rest of them lol but up and dies (
u men always find an out for a relationship don't you!)....now this one behaves like a monkey....i'm back to my first mind...they all suck!

"There are a numerous amount of Librans who do tend to present you with the silent treatment, especially when they are unsure of their feelings. Or are afraid of getting too close to you because they know the more time they spend with you the closer they will get to you. OR they hurt you and don't want to deal with facing that fact."

Or if someone wants a screaming match. Get really confrontational and a Libra will stare at you expressionless and just walk out of the room in the middle of the other persons tyrade without even saying a word. Which is best for everyone, a Libra reacting to someone elses emotional explosion is a Libra that isn't going to pull any punches.

"Or if someone wants a screaming match. Get really confrontational and a Libra will stare at you expressionless and just walk out of the room in the middle of the other persons tyrade without even saying a word. "

So true... This is very true indeed and the other person really gets mad once they walk out. Although in my experience with them especially in my marriage. I rarely get loud. I am sort of a quiet angry/upset person. I will keep a melow tone, but it sometimes cut like a nife. No need to put on a show... Even then they sometime walk away, but if you keep it calm you have a better chance of getting a response.

well no chance of a screaming match this took place over text message. I apologized today by text just saying u know i've been trying to get through a lot and i have not been doing a good job of it so i apologize....lol I got nothing in response. To me that is all i can do. I apologized not in the hopes of a relationship but in the hopes of saving a friendship. I would think that he could have understood that especially since this coming week is my boyfriend's (one of his best friends) birthday....so i'm pretty sensitive right now and im having to stay strong for everyone with no one to lean on.....not saying I am expecting him to be that person, just to be understanding.

Libras are supposed to be compassionate...i believe he is a libra by accident because compassion i don't see

compassion— Only if its not gonna make us emotional while we are in public.

Some libras not all........i sometimes get emotional in public...at times it can't be helped! I only stifle emotion when I am around people I know and they are not emotional.

Compassion and emotion are two different things.....U don't have to where your heart on your sleeve to empathize with someone......

When I am done I am done. There is no point in debating. I give people plenty of opportunity to do the right thing but after a point, I cut them out. Generally, they don't see it coming because I am all smiles and warmth and then out of nowhere, I'm done.

It really isn't the silent treatment .. it is that I am REALLY done.

I don't like talking in the heat of the moment. I need to think things through and rationalize what an appropriate response would be. Although I have no problem debating, I don't like emotionally charged situations and need to really think things through.

* I apologized not in the hopes of a relationship but in the hopes of saving a friendship.

Then let it go. Please realize that you are not emotionally ready to be in a relationship and were putting a lot of pressures on someone else, who is probably also grieving, to emotionally fulfill you. It isn't intentional and you probably aren't even aware of it but it is pretty obvious to the outsider. It is all understandable but give the guy space and let it go.

If you let it go, he will circle around in a month or so. If you keep demanding his attention, you will be chalked up to crazy, and will probably lose the friendship as well.

There is a good chance that this guy wants to remain friends with you but you are a bit of an emotional mess right now. (Understandable.) He doesn't know how to help so he is backing away to let you get yourself together. It actually is a sign of compassion because he doesn't want you to embarrass yourself or do/say anything you will regret. He probably knows how hard right now is for you and is giving you space to deal with it. You should probably do the same for him.

Understand, that he is probably grieving himself and needs time to deal with his friend's death as well.

I think you will eventually be friends again and stronger friends having gone through this ordeal but just take a few deep breaths and accept that right now you need to look after you. You have been hurt very badly and the only person who has any ability to make you feel better and get you through this is ultimetly yourself. And you WILL get through this.

much love

Not so much...everyone has been kind, compassionate by backing away I don't know why I expecting him or anyone else to be any different. Personally at this point I have come to realize I don't really need people in my life and don't care to keep people here who don't want to be bothered. Life is easier that way. Relationships ultimately end so it's better to have them end sooner than later before i get really attached. I'm actually ok with never speaking to him again or anyone else that my bf was friends with....why should I, he's dead so they should be dead to me too. It was my mistake for even trying to keep a relationship with him in any form.

When did he pass away Krazy?

December 2006

(((Krazy)))

I am so sorry to heart his. Poor you. It hasn't even been a year yet.

Just keep breathing honey. Right now you are in the worst headspace possible. And THAT is okay. It is okay to be sad. It is okay to miss him. It is okay not to know what to do. Just keep breathing.

In time, your life will begin to make sense again. You are just healing, which sucks, but in time everything will be okay.

Thank you little_sparrow. So many people say that time will make it better but I can't see it. I mean I really had the almost perfect guy. Ive been going through the motions and not just sitting in my home but that is about it...going through the motions. I know it will be awhile before i begin healing because we have are just beginning legal proceedings.

May I ask what happened? You don't have to say if you don't want too.

Don't feel bad. about going through the motions. Sometimes that is what happened. It took me two years to get over "going through the motions" with my big break-up with my ex. It took another two years to get over him. Obviously it is different, but I don't feel bad about how long it took. It took as long as it took. For you, it will take as long as it takes.

You will never feel happy about his death, but you will find peace and fully engage in life again.

It's ok.....he died of Medical Malpractice

silent treatment, hmm interestingly put. But I think I do that. Sometimes if I think something is not worth discussing anymore, or it doesn't lead to any agreement, or if I feel not understood etc I am able to remain silent for hours, usually to the point where the other person (gf for example) cant stand it anymore and so we move somewhere, when I think about it now its actually quite effective method to solve some issues sometimes...

silent treatment, hmm interestingly put. But I think I do that. Sometimes if I think something is not worth discussing anymore, or it doesn't lead to any agreement, or if I feel not understood etc I am able to remain silent for hours, usually to the point where the other person (gf for example) cant stand it anymore and so we move somewhere,

Funny u said that lol He nearly drove me nutz with this song a couple of weeks ago called mis-understood. So finally I asked "are u mis-understood?" response: "By some people" My answer: "well then could u change the song please!"

I'm looking for a Dragon/Aquarious, i think...i'm a lesbian Monkey/Libra. I am dating my 4th dragon...she is a scorpio. Though i am very physically attracted to her, i feel a lack of that quality that makes me tingle with glee! any dragons or scorpios out there care to comment??

I am the most libran libra I've ever known. I have libra rising and 5 other planets in libra.

I give the silent treatment like nobody's business. When I feel I've been disrespected or treated unfairly to the point that nothing he/she can say will change my mind, I just stop caring at all. I've done this on numerous occasions. The silent treatment, in those cases, never ends. I never call. I never write, and if I see you, I don't wave or smile. Nothing.

If I see something salvagable in a relationship, though. My silence won't last much longer than a day or two, or sometimes an hour or two. I just need some space to get it right in my head. I like to make sure I feel justified in my anger and that I have ligitimate arguments to back myself up before I confront. Otherwise, it's likely I'm being over emotional and needy.

I am a libra who needs help in dealing with an aquarian...for me to truly be able to give someone the silent treatment, I have to be completely, emotionally done with them. I have only been successful with this once, and that's when I recently decided to end a ten year friendship with a scorpio guy who really hurt me by not being a good friend. But the first few times I was angry with him, I had no problem voicing my feeligns to him...finally, I gave up and no longer respond to his phone calls or texts...My big dilemma right now, is this Aqua man that I am totally into, but really hurt by right now. WE have been "dating" for 4 months, I have been way too cool with him, and by that I mean, I have not clearly stated how I feel and now the ball is in his court! I am really hurt by the lack of attention I am receiving from him, the fact that he makes vague plans and never anythign concrete so that when he doesn't follow through, it's almost as though I can't get mad at him for it, because he rarely commits to plans in the first place. I don't knwo if he knows how angry I am with him right now, but I am so ready to just tell him off! But i've been avoiding it, I'm scared as hell to talk about my feelings...and usually, in past relationship that has not been a problem at all...accept when I don't know what I want to say! And right now, I dont' know what I want to say, I don't have a plan, I've thought things through over and over again but he is an aquarian and they are a whole different breed of men! I'm not used to playing games, but for some reason I am scared to discuss thigns with him...I am angry with him, and I dont' know whether I should play the silent treatment, and just ignore him this week...IF HE CALLS....I dont' know if I am strong enough to ignore him, because I am truly upset with him and want to let him know! But I probably sh ouldn't react emotinoally, because that never gets through to aqua males...I am literally drivign myself crazy right now because I have so many things I have held inside and not said that I feel like I'm goign to explode! ANy Advice? Going crazy

Sake,
I feel your pain. 😭 I've been involved with an Aqua man for about a year now and there have been times where I thought I could just scream because there was so much I wanted to say to him but was afraid of scaring him off. You're right, they are a TOTALLY different breed of men. Libra and Aquarius are very compatible because they are both "mental" people but Librans are far more in touch with their emotions and not typically uncomfortable showing them like Aquas are. It doesn't mean they don't have emotions or don't care about you, they're just not comfortable sharing that part of themselves with people... especially people they really care for. I've read that it's not uncommon for an Aqua man to act as though he doesn't care when he actually cares the most about someone. They don't know how to handle those emotions. They're just not comfortable with that at all until they've had quite a bit of time with someone and they feel "safe" to do so. There's nothing wrong with telling him how you feel. Being a Libra, I'm sure you can find a diplomatic way of doing so. 😉 Aquas aren't afraid of others' emotions, just their own. They DO shy away from extreme emotion though. They definitely appreciate honesty. They are pretty straight forward people. If I had to guess, I would say he's not "playing games" with you. They're not really "players". But believe me, I've definitely been in your shoes! I've had to purposely distance myself from my Aqua 5 or 6 times over the past year because I couldn't deal with the roller coaster of emotions (on my part). We would go a few weeks (sometimes longer) without talking at all and then I would hear from him out of the blue. Each time I would find myself more guarded (like him) because I didn't want to get back to feeling the frustration I felt before and now after a year HE'S become less guarded. Grrr!! I keep asking myself if HE has changed me or if I have changed him. :-/ I think somehow we've managed to "compromise". Any relationship worth having takes constant work though... constant give and take to be "balanced" and balance is definitely something we Libras MUST have to be happy.

libragirl, thank you for your input...they are so frustrating...I know they take time warming up to people and actually feeling safe enough to trust people...but this Valentine's day was the last straw for me! I got a call wishing me, but no plans and no plans for the entire weekend...no call after Vday...I got him a birthday gift on Sunday and gave it to him at work...but I felt like he didn't even deserve it! I did talk to him tonight though, he called and I debated whether I should just ignore him and avoid him all week, but then realized that being a libra, I couldn't do that!! It would just make me more angry as the week went on, so I finally called him back tonight, and told him everything. I was very calm and nice, I wasn't crazy or emotional...but I told him what I was feeling, and he apologized and took total responsibilty for how things have gone and why I'm feeling this way...I don't know what will happen, but he seemed completely clueless...to him, things were going great! He liked our friendship and said he dind't have any problems with the way it was going...of course he didn't😉 He did tlel me he doesn't have an easy time expressing his feelings, or even understanding them himself. I told him to think about things, and figure things out...I did tell him that if things continued this way that I wasn't going to be able to stick around. It's hard because I feel like I'm teaching a grown man how to behave and act, which is just frustrating. I shouldn't have to spell things out for someone. I told him I wasn't trying to pressure him, but that I require atleast a little attention sometimes. I told him I understand his need for personal space, and that both of our schedules are busy...but that if someone is interested they make time, even if it is just for an hour to meet up for coffee or lunch. I don't know where it will lead at this point, I know he cares about me, and he enjoys my company...but being a libra, my heart is just hurt and it's hard going back...it's also hard for me to know that someone is spending time with me because I had to ask them to! Whatever happens, at least we're only 4 mths into it, I'm sure it will take time to recover if things don't work out...I have barely eaten in two days I've been so depressed. I guess I'm just preparing for the worst at this point...he may just come back and tell me he's not ready for this- and I have to accept it if that is the case. But, I work with him on Sundays, and I have a feelin

I will turn into a Cold b...tch if that is the case. They really just don't get it until you tell them. The funny thing is, they know they're strange...they know they're not easy to deal with, but if he knew what he wanted it would be a place to start at the very least. ugh...he told me he was glad I told him how I was feeling, especially because it was upsetting me. I like him so much, and I think for the most part- I am the girl for him because I can put up with a lot of his sh...t...I truly like him, he's different from any guy I've ever met, but I just want the chance to explore that other side to him, he makes it so difficult.

The other main problem is, we started off hooking up, bad idea. It's not it always happens, we have spent other time together...and I could care less bout the hooking up, which is what is so different about our friendship, I feel this great chemistry with him, I love talking to him! Just talking, and getting to know him, it's not like he pressures me into sex, in fact, Im' usually the initiator because Im a horny libra...but how did you and your aqua start off? Did you label your frienddship? I dont' even feel comfortable saying we're dating at this point. I asked him tonight, how we would feel if I dated other guys, and he said he wouldn't like it. What the hell does that mean though?! Does that mean we're exclusive? He's a complete dork, and you're right, not the player type...he's not seeing anyone else, he's in law school full time, works 3 nights a week, and coaches a little league hockey team...the boy is busy...but at some point they have to comprise and put time into relatinoships, when they care about someone, don't they?

That's a good question its probably related to the concept of Libra 'indecesion' 'playing with the scales' - so to speak, I'm not trying to sound prosaic or cliche although to me playing with the scales can be nasty and cold - yes it can be COLD and NASTY - whether you like it or not that is what it is. Think about it. On one level playing with the scales equals no communication which is very cold and very nasty no communication due to this concept of 'indecisiveness' and secondly the feeling of either being abandoned and ignored on the part of someone that desperately want's to communicate. Virgo and Gemini I presume would be the signs that would find this so called 'indecisiveness' concept extremely strange becuase both these two are spontaneous communicators.

Can you possibly gauge how long it would take for the Libra sign to 'decide'?

how long?

or should I have said how short?

Is it possible to gauge how long it would take for Libra to decide?

or is that how short again?

Will you be postponing till tomorrow?

or is not going to be until next year?

maybe next month would be nice?

see what I mean?

good decesion?

bad decesion?

or is that decision?

Will you think what you will be doing will turn out to be good?

and when its good what if it eventually turns out to be bad?

seemingly good decesion turning out to be bad decesions.

on and on nasty I can respect this sign because the cognitive processes are natural, no people can escape from these influences but its nasty whatsoever. I mean how long do you wan't me to wait?

Are you going to talk to me or not?