This man confuses the heck outta me!!!!

Libra Signs please give your thought, especially Libra men.

We have been at this for a while. Sometimes he will do his disappearing act for months and months(Especially when he has messed up) and then just when I set my mind on letting him go, its like he senses it and poof he walks back into my life. Literally, he will walk back into my store. I look up and he is walking in or after months of no comunication, a text. Like nothing ever happen. I will say that that hasn't happen in sometime though. He says things like "See how can I not love you in the middle of a converstion, He text me "Luv you Babe" when I brought him lunch for is bday. He'll get protective of me being alone in the store. Unless he is missing in action he texts me every morning. And most during the day and night just because and then nothing.

Now whats more confusing is when he offered me a little over $ 1,500 to help me with my classes when I had a Financial Aid problem. He just said here. I turned him down. I did get things taken care of but, the fact that he had cash in hand to give to me was amazing. And now a few weeks later, he is back to the barley texting, calling or speaking. I mean WTH is with this man. I really care about him. I adore who he is as a person and I except him for him. He confuses the heck outta me and I want to know what you all think.

Thanks in advance

My advice seems to hold no merit around these forums, but as a Libra myself I say dont bother with him. Plain and simple, the cycle will never end because hes unsure and pushing him to be sure wont help. He'll only act sure.

But... If you really want to be with him. Ignoring him WILL work. Once you start talking to him again Im almost 1000% sure it will happen all over again though.

Im sorry as if it were me doing it really. I know before I realized how many feelings I had hurt I used to do it alot, not intentionally, just keeping my options open and trying to keep from hurting feelings (the irony) by being brutually honest.

I have to think there is more to this. He ain't gonna be talking to everyone all day everyday so if he's doing it with you then there's something there. His disappearing for months is unacceptable and even worse if there is no reason or explanation. Has anyone ever tried to take it beyond friendship? What happened?

Based on the small amount that is already posted... run away. Don't contact him, don't respond when he texts you, nothing... just let go. Unless you like not knowing where he is and who he is doing... oops I mean 'what' he is doing...

I'd leave him be I,m a Libra also and have never run from a relationship or even someone close to me so I don't understand the disappearing act at all its sounds to me like a maturity problem ..If I love someone I"m there through thick and thin isn't that part of being in a relationship in the first place . Good times and bad times you support each other not this disappearing crap . These guys give us a bad rep and I don't like it

My Libra, from the very beginning, was in regular, consistent contact with me... no matter what was going on in his life. He never outright disappeared on me.

Now, on the other hand.. with his FRIENDS.. I'm sure some of his friends have spent weeks or months wondering if he was alive or dead. He's NOT in constant contact with most of his friends. But yes, he's offered to help a friend out financially.. he's just a sucker like that haha *wink*

So I would have to say that in HIS mind you and he are FRIENDS, and therefore you get the contact a FRIEND would. But I wonder what makes YOU expect/want more than that? Dare I ask.. are you sleeping with him (without a relationship? In other words, FWB?).. hoping he'll see you as more than a friend, more than just sex.. and being even more hurt each time he disappears? Cuz I also get the impression that you don't want to have any sort of serious talk about what you two are to each other.. maybe you're afraid of him saying you're just friends, or that he's not interested in a relationship with you, esp if he's been sleeping with you?

If that's the case, stop sleeping with him. You're shooting yourself in the foot by going the FWB route and THEN wanting to switch paths. If he wants you, he'll have to step up and EARN you.. and if he doesn't step up.. you owe it to yourself to have a little dignity and walk away from something that hurts you. It's not HIS responsibility to stay away from you or to stop "pulling you in" cuz HE doesn't have a problem with the way things are. If something feels bad, it's YOUR responsibility to take care of YOURSELF, to leave it alone and not fall for it again.

thank you all for your relpies and every last one of you hit on a aspect of what is going on with these dare I say friendship/relationship. Especailly you Nefer.

BlessJaz: your advice is more than welcome and appreciated from me. You correct ignoring him when he is being a butt wipe does seem to get his attention but I dnt want to do that every time I want him to behave like a adult.

lblibra: Just like you said thats a maturity problem I don't have nor wish to deal with.

LibraSid: He gets engulf in his work mostly when he is on a deadline. He gets cars ready for cars shows. He also has a few Medical issues. To look at him you would NEVER know. So when he is really bad off or if he has had to have surgery (which he has one due)he will not tell me when or that he had it done until after everything(healing and all is done (this he has done before). He says he is a really nasty person when he is in pain and sick. I have never given him a reason to disappear and for the most part I never get much of an explanation besides he was caught up with this project or that. Now I have noticed that when he has pissed me off he will disappear. I have (in the past that is) text him and said simply are you ready yet and he of course knowing what I meant and would text back no. When he was a ready he would call or text and we would meet so he could explain.

Nefer: Yes we are having sex. I don't consider us FWB and as far as he SAID neither does he. I have known him since I was 21 in 1999 (35 now). He was someone cool I trusted when I saw him out and with out saying I always knew he was watching over me. As gorgeous as he is and he is that gorgeous, I was never interested in him (he had to many women after him for one and I was with someone who I later married. Then in 2000 I saw him one day and we were talking and he gave me his number and said he wanted to cook me dinner and to call when I was ready and I got in my car and left. I also wonder where that came from because we were NEVER like that. Then I didn't see him again until 2007. I though he went back hm (he is an Islander)I had heard many things and when I called the # to ck on him it was off. Just like that he saw me somewhere and walked up to me out of the blew. Found out he was in an accident and had to learn to walk again. And all the people in his life (family,friends and women) disappeared when he couldn't give to them any more. I see that has made him bitter and distance.

I found out that my husband was having an affair since 2005. I found out the day after our 5th year Anniversary in 2008. I tried to over look it especially since he was at the same time in Kindey failure and try to take care of him and put the affair to the back. He said it was over and I wanted to make it work. Well, he has since had a Transplant in 2009 and I found out it was still going on while I was the one taking care of him. So decided I was done. My Libra and I didn't start until last year in Dec of 2011 and we both were trying to make sure that was what I wanted. he told me he was always attracted to me I just never paid enough attention to notice. I try to show him that I am interested without loosing myself in him and without opening myself up to pain. He is the only man who have never used the BUT, IF or JUST with me. The only JUST was I know what you have been through and I know your hard JUST let me in. He ask for it he says he trust me more than any one. The sex is the best I have ever had in life. Never has man known my body so well and he says all the time that it keeps getting better ( he gets really excited about that like its unexpected) and then he vanshes.

I have texted him that I was going to let him do his thing and I would see him around once. He got pissed an said I was trying to dismiss him. So another I let it be up to him and ask if we need to let it go and he said just the sex part because we where all over the place and he still wanted me around. Well that didn't last but a month. I do agree because my head and heart is saying the same thing. THIS MAN WILL HURT YOU WORST THAN THE LAST!!!

Ok so he just text (its 2:55 p.m.) He texted this morning also to say his normal Good morning message. He text a sec ago to say he wants to bring me lunch and have I eaten (He knows I barely eat). I said thanks for the offer but I don't feel much like eating. So then he calls and goes of in a ramble about I can't work out do homework and not eat and if I end of in the hospital then he and I are gonna have a problem. I told him he would never know because I will never tell him and that made him ramble more and he ended with I just don't want anything to happen to you, not you. I said thanks and as alwyas he say ANY THING FOR YOU. He also said he was bringing the food any way. He likes that I am there for those around me but doesn't like when I allow it to take me over.

I have a business just like him and I also have kids. Add that to school and helping family and my day to day is pretty full. I give him the attention he needs and when he is in place he gives me what I need. But the only thing consistant about this man is his being inconsistent.

Oh honey -- sex without a relationship is still FWB, still casual, no matter what you call it. And still progressively hurtful to one who's caught feelings. :c

How many times do you burn your hand on a hot stove before you stop pretending it didn't burn you, and you learn to stop touching it?!

Taurean Fixed/stubbornness *smh* I've got it.. Moon and Mars.

I have to find things out for myself. I have to have the experience to teach me, otherwise it's all abstract. And I have to touch that fucking stove MANY times before I finally get it. Then there's a NEW stove.. and I wonder if THIS new, hot stove will burn me too.. *touch* Fuck shit GODDAMNIT! But, but.. I really, really like this stove, it's the exact model I've always wanted, and I loooove what this stove does.. it bakes just BEAUTIFULLY, the best ever!.. and a stove can't HELP that it gets hot, it's not burning me on PURPOSE or anything. *touch* Fuck! What is wrong with me? Maybe a different stove wouldn't burn me like this. *touch* Holy shit, what the hell, JEEEEZ LOUISE, STOP BURNING ME! Fucking stoves, what is fucking WRONG with you?!

But a hot stove is just a stove, and the real problem was with me. I finally stopped touching hot stoves when I'd truly had enough of getting burned. Maybe you will too.

Honey, it's fwb. That's all it is. THAT'S where your confusion stems from. You don't see it as fwb when it really is.

Knowing you two are essentially fwb explains all his behavior. Sex doesn't mean he's really into you. The behavior says as much.

Stop expecting more out of a situation like this and the confusion factor will go away.

Nefer, what does that mean, Moon and Mars? I'm new to this all However, your right I am fixed and very much stubborn. And yes, it doesn't matter what we say if we behave like FWB then thats what it is. The hot stove analogy is funny, but I get, understand and respect it. My gosh your good at this stuff lady :-).

I know, I know being stubborn is a negative trait Nefer, well depending on the person and or situation. But about me being a Taurean keep in mine a few things ( Rather its Taurean or just a me thing):

1) We like stability and consistency (at least I sure do).

2) Although I may have someone I am interested in and I prove myself to be loyal and committed, I also expect an equal amount of commitment from him.

3)And while I, as a Taurean am clam and patient and sit back and watch. You better believe that I am paying attention and I always allow a person to hang themselves. I back out before that temper comes into play. Because even I hate that part of myself. Its not a great trait to have. And I rather just chill.

4) All that I have been through in the last few years, I refuse to go through it again. I am an introvert and I don't have a problem with being by myself. Especially if it means no pain. I'll do it that way before taking my pain out on another or allowing them to shatter my heart and strip me of my emotional soul. My heart is already broken and for me thats enough.

In truth, I want him to stop the in and out of my life. Its too much for me. Even as just friends. Either your present and accounted for or your not. I am not or have ever been the person to chase anyone. Man, women, or child. When I see that I am the only one that is invested in what ever part I play in your life I pay attention, tell them about it and what will happen if it keeps going and allow you to hang your self. As I have spoken to him about it. He knows I can be a friend with out the rest. And he knows once he is in that friend zone NO ONE GETS OUT. I just need consistency. If he is going to be a fly by night man, ok cool, be that somewhere else and we are still cool. And if he is going to be a fly by night friend then ok cool, I can adjust and be that with him. One thing about me Taurus be damn. WHATEVER PART I PLAY IN SOMEONES LIFE I GIVE MY ALL. AND WHEN I KNOW FOR SURE THAT I AM BEING MISUSED AND OR TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF...WELL, YOU CAN FIGURE OUT THE REST LOL.

I'm not ceratin if I should or am ready for a relationship with anyone especi

especially a Libra man....smh good luck too me lol.

Rockyroadicecream, Nefer has put it to me plan. And its time to step back.

Yes, step back. Take deep breaths, don't DO ANYTHING having to do with him.. and ESPECIALLY this: "I have texted him that I was going to let him do his thing and I would see him around once. He got pissed an said I was trying to dismiss him. So another I let it be up to him and ask if we need to let it go"

No. No. No. Did I mention NO? DO NOT TELL HIM ANYTHING. This is NOT a relationship, he is NOT your man, you do not OWE him an explanation, you do not NEED to tell him you are taking care of yourself. When a woman steps back FOR REAL she doesn't ask his permission, and she doesn't inform him of her decision. She just does what's best for her, period. And that's ALL she says when asked, "I'm doing what's best for me right now. Oh, you feel ignored/upset/hurt/whatever? I can see why you'd feel that way. But I don't feel happy staying in situations that feel bad to me. So I'm only doing what feels good to me now. I'm sure you understand."

And this is NOT up to him.. telling him it's up to him and asking if you need to let go comes across needy, low-esteem, doormat-like... the EXACT OPPOSITE of the message you were trying to send!

Men KNOW when they've been behaving badly, but many will take advantage if they can, they'll make all kinds of excuses given the chance. Don't give him the chance. This isn't about HIM, so don't make it about him.. this is about YOU, so make it about you. Silence speaks to an iffy/non-committal/hot and cold man better than any words you can come up with. He's a big boy, he'll figure his shit out on his own. And when you fall back and start taking care of yourself.. that leaves space for the man to think about and figure out what HE'S been doing. If you TELL HIM your plans, you've just removed 90% of its effectiveness. Men don't respond well to a woman telling him she's going to back off.. he'll see it as manipulation, or trying to get a reaction, or an idle threat to try to get him to do/give something.. he doesn't see a secure, strong woman.. he sees neediness, and expectation.. both are turn offs. A woman that simply and quietly removes herself from a hurtful or disrespectful situation.. no fanfare, no notice.. THAT is something he can wrap his mind around and respect.

Posted by Taureanheart
Rockyroadicecream, Nefer has put it to me plan. And its time to step back.

Yeah none of all that was there when I replied. Just the first paragraph/post that you'd responded with. :/

Nefer that makes complete sense.

Rockyroadicecream 🙂 gotcha

"Taurean Fixed/stubbornness *smh* I've got it.. Moon and Mars."


That means I have a Taurus Moon and a Taurus Mars, so I have a HUUUUGE (OMG is it ever a BIG part of me!) dose of the Taurean Fixed/stubbornness. I FEEL/EMOTE (Moon) and ACT/BEHAVE (Mars) like a Bullette. Moreso than my own Taurus Sun daughters.. one's swimming in Pisces underneath.. she acts more Pisces than me.. the other is bathed in Aries Fire.. and it shows!


I'm shockingly stubborn -- almost to the point of being unmovable. My steely determination, dogged persistence, and endless wells of patience can be such a blessing.. BUT can also be my own undoing, when my Fixed nature simply WON'T let go, even when I know I should. I like what I like, I want what I want. Period. Add in my rash, reckless Aries Venus that jumps first and looks later.. woooeee... I sure can get myself into hot water sometimes! So I touched hot stoves, cuz I WANTED to, and NOBODY could tell me that I couldn't do it. Right up until I started valuing MYSELF more than I valued those stoves, and then I stopped wanting to touch them only when they were hot. *shrug*

Taus aren't stupid.. just stubborn as all hell.

Nope not stupid at all but most very much stubborn 🙂.

Omg wtf is it with them and their pity parties? Especially when they put themselves in these situations?

My coworker is currently in this stage and while I do feel for him, at the same time, he put himself in the situation. It's all woe is me and life is sooo hard!!

...stop making stupid choices and putting yourself in situations that will leave you sol? :/

X3Elise: Your story was appericated. Crazy thing is I know he will be fine with out me. This is a man that will make it be dang. But I did notice I toke on the roll full force. Wanting to make sure he was ok, try to make up for the other people in his left who has left him and left him done. However, its not about him in that sense because i do it with everyone. Its funny that I jst realized that. Man I gotta stop that for sure. Most people don't respect it nor do the appericate it anyway. I hear ALL the time time that I am a hard women. Family and friends say it. I have even had a guy tell me that I was easy to love but hard to deal with because I was stubborn. They say stubborn, I say I won't be controlled.

And your right and I've said this also, that we will be fine without one another. If won't thats one him but of being fine without him OF THAT I AM CERATIN. I think I need to try that single girl thing anyway. I have been in a relationship since I was 16. Same guy until this one. It just might be time. Ummm thats a pretty good thought 🙂.


Rockyroadicecream: Its easier than not, to place your self in situations and get wrapped up in them sometimes. For some that is. I don't do it much because according to my oldest sister "I don't take any risk and need to step outside the box sometimes and stop being so cautious (yeah right, thats gonna happen) LOL. Lucky for me I have always had the presence of mind to find the part I played in getting myself into those situations, take responsibility for the part I played, get advice when needed and handle business when it came time.

Everyone handles things differently. I know I sure do🙂 and they keep letting me know it 😉

Posted by Taureanheart


Rockyroadicecream: Its easier than not, to place your self in situations and get wrapped up in them sometimes. For some that is. I don't do it much because according to my oldest sister "I don't take any risk and need to step outside the box sometimes and stop being so cautious (yeah right, thats gonna happen) LOL. Lucky for me I have always had the presence of mind to find the part I played in getting myself into those situations, take responsibility for the part I played, get advice when needed and handle business when it came time.

Everyone handles things differently. I know I sure do🙂 and they keep letting me know it 😉

I meant more in regard to Libra guys. We just had another post from one here about his woes in dating. She pointed out an example, and I've known of at least one or two. Even Nefer has noticed that Libra guys tend to go after women that aren't the best for them, and despite warning signs, they jump in and get burned. Cue the pity party. It sucks, but don't expect massive amounts of sympathy when you fricken put yourself in that spot when there were BIG red flags to begin with. :/

Also, a trend I've noticed with just about every Libra I've known- it's no wonder they shy away from decision making. They suck at it! I think I've known of one or two that I've come across that had their shit together. But the rest? HORRIBLE decisions in just about anything- finances, life, romance, etc. Just some observations though.

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by Taureanheart


Rockyroadicecream: Its easier than not, to place your self in situations and get wrapped up in them sometimes. For some that is. I don't do it much because according to my oldest sister "I don't take any risk and need to step outside the box sometimes and stop being so cautious (yeah right, thats gonna happen) LOL. Lucky for me I have always had the presence of mind to find the part I played in getting myself into those situations, take responsibility for the part I played, get advice when needed and handle business when it came time.

Everyone handles things differently. I know I sure do🙂 and they keep letting me know it 😉

I meant more in regard to Libra guys. We just had another post from one here about his woes in dating. She pointed out an example, and I've known of at least one or two. Even Nefer has noticed that Libra guys tend to go after women that aren't the best for them, and despite warning signs, they jump in and get burned. Cue the pity party. It sucks, but don't expect massive amounts of sympathy when you fricken put yourself in that spot when there were BIG red flags to begin with. :/

Also, a trend I've noticed with just about every Libra I've known- it's no wonder they shy away from decision making. They suck at it! I think I've known of one or two that I've come across that had their shit together. But the rest? HORRIBLE decisions in just about anything- finances, life, romance, etc. Just some observations though.

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You know this is my first dealing with a Libra, well and know it. And for sure my first romanctic/sexual nature. And yes I have found him to be indecisive and its annoying as all get out. Now if its something he has plan (mostly a bunch of partying) then he can get that together.

Ok listen to this. I have been getting the usual good morning text that I have ignored. Partly because like you all say and I agree is the best thing for me to do. And frankly I am just to busy to be bother with anything or anyone that doesn't bring something postive in my life or theirs at this moment. That goes for family and friends. I have been stressed out to long. Anyway, I get this text this morning saying good monring and that he is going to set up sometime for us to spend time together. "HE" is going to do it. Do you know how many times I have suggested that or I have actually said " Set aside sometime for us" and I have always gotten a cool, anything for you, or that sounds good or and I'll take care of it and nothing happens.

After I read it I laughed my butt, didn't even think about replying and went back to study for my Exam. I laughed because we all knew that was going to happen however, I didn't expect him to say that one. And it pissed me off because, now YOU want to make arrangemnets for us to spend time together. HOG WASH! I'll pass I have to much on my plate, 3 exams coming up, homework, kids games and work and I just don't want to make time for anything other than that.

SMH, Don't know weather to say men or Libra men either way I can't be bothered right now. I'm on the move.

Not all Libra men are like this

Well this one and others are so making it seems as such lblibra. For me it makes all the good things in him start to take a back seat. I dnt know if it works for other women he has dealings with but for me its both boring and annoying. And I dnt like either. It just pushing me away and I'm done repeating myself with him on the issue. I'm already leary of men now if I find that they are a Libra I will be on the first thing smoking lol.

Well, as gently as possible, that's not a Libra thing.. that's a MAN thing.. if the woman is the one making most of the effort to see each other, to make time, to set things up.. why bother? Men get a little lazy when everything's being taken care of FOR them.. and then the lazy turns into indifference.. With you leaning back, waaaayyyy back.. not being bitchy or rude or blaming him.. just getting busy in your life and with things that feel good.. well, it left space for him to think, like I said it would.. now HE'S gotta come up with ways to get your attention, cuz you are not chasing him. If you want a man to step up, you must first drop the reins and stop trying to do HIS job. Let HIM come up with ways to get you.. trust me, you'll like it better, and so will he.

I predict he will soon double his efforts.. and will keep putting effort in. If you FEEL like it, and have the time, and WANT to.. go ahead and take him up on an offer, spend time with him.. be appreciative and pleasant.. but DO NOT make him the center of nor even the biggest focus of your life.. keep your life aside from him as busy, happy, and fulfilling as possible. It will make your vibe just SPARKLE, and your confidence will SOAR from not sitting around waiting for HIM to figure anything out, from not being dependent on him for your own happiness. Let HIM figure out how he's going to fit into your life, let HIM put in the time and effort to make it happen.. HUMANS tend to take for granted what they didn't have to work for! YOUR job is NOT to make things happen, or to initiate calling/dates/affection.. it is to APPRECIATE and RECIPROCATE.. always say thank you, always appreciate his efforts.. You WILL be too busy to answer every single call, but this isn't about IGNORING him.. it's about him being a PART of your life, not the center.. if he ASKS you to call him back, call him back.. if he doesn't ask you specifically to call him back, you can choose to if you want, depending on how you feel about his efforts.

Above all, please do not be an angry, bitter bitch about any of this.. He may not be a total asshole. Perhaps he was taking his cues from you, but you were trying to lead the relationship, so he didn't.. perhaps he didn't have enough SPACE to WANT to move forward with you, but now he'll get that.. perhaps inspiration is all he needed.. if you want, go ahead and give him a CHANCE to show you what he's about, now that he knows he's going to have to man up if he wants this to work.

Understood Nefer but am I to belive this is anything more than a ploy. I mean it has only been a few days. Nothing that I would consider to have a strong enough impact. We have gone longer with no contact before and it didn't impact his behavior any if I am here.

If I do see a serious effort being made of course I will happily appreciate it and welcome it with open arms. I just don't feel thats what this Is. I think its just something to pacify me. In any case though, what i said before still stands. While I am not ignoring, I do have a heavy load at this point and it trumps anything else. At one point I would have made it my a priority to set aside time with him when he called. Even if it meant staying up to 4 a.m. to study and get up at 7 a.m. to get myself and kids ready for school. At this point I just can't, as I said before, I'm a stability kinda girl. I can deal with complex but not right now. If he is for me I would think he will be able to see and understand what I have before me and give me what I have willing given him. Patience, Understanding and Time.

Honey.. I'm trying to find the right words to convey this to you, and I don't want to come across like some ball-busting bitch.. cuz I'm not.. I'm warm and loving and very feminine.. a man who has EARNED my affection gets it, but a man who has EARNED my silence gets that too.. and above all, I do not neglect MYSELF and MY NEEDS, esp not for some man.

But don't compare THIS time to all the other times.. THIS time is TOTALLY DIFFERENT.. THIS SPACE is totally different than THAT SPACE was.. and a few days is PLENTY of time to make a noticeable shift. Even those dumb, clueless guys (lol kidding, guys!) can feel the difference.. all (ESP, even!) without an explanation, or even a word or a heads up from you. I cannot stress enough - THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT, everything about you, your mood, motives, VIBE, intentions, efforts, EVERYTHING is DIFFERENT. You have shifted yourself from that needy, hopeless, sad, frustrated place.. into this place where YOU once again feel confident, empowered, and dare I say it.. happy? Oh yes, it's noticeable, very very quickly.

You dropped the reins.. he'll either pick them up.. or he'll walk away. And you will be FINE either way, because HE will NO LONGER be the biggest source of your happiness, fulfillment, contentment (omg it feels so needy and desperate just typing that, no wonder guys run from us woman acting/feeling that way!).. YOU and YOUR LIFE are. He can be a PART, if he so chooses.. and if you so want and allow it.

This time, YOU stepped back.. YOU are taking care of yourself... everything has shifted. THIS time, YOU are not going above and beyond, OVERsacrificing (setting aside time for him so much you have to study until 4am and only get 3 hrs of sleep? Oh honey!) This time, his cutesy little good morning texts that so used to pull you in, get you to jump and answer immediately, letting him know he was still your biggest focus.. now unanswered cuz you're too busy to drop everything, to move your life around to give HIM this (unnecessary) immediate, gratifying, ego-stroking attention. You bet your sweet bippy he noticed. He's noticed that his previous (lazy) minimal efforts aren't cutting it this time.. now he's gotta come up with something better.

But that's all just a side effect of you doing what REALLY needed to be done here.. you stopped taking care of YOU somewhere along the line, you put him and time with him before other things for YOU, but no more.. now you are taking care of you, and getting things done in your life that have nothing to do with him. And that is going to make your vibe just MAGNETIC.

He might not know what it is yet.. he's likely still puzzling it over.. you not making time to even sit and text him now? You aren't jumping for joy cuz he sent a good morning text? Well, shit.. gonna have to try something else. I know, she always wanted ME to set aside time for us.. I'll offer that. She didn't jump. Hmm.. what's going on? She's too busy for me? Well, she's always been too busy, but she always made time for me, no matter what.. wait.. what if she's losing interest? What if she's tired of my shit? Oh man, I HAVE been kind of a jerk about us lately.. wait.. maybe she met someone else, someone who is romancing her right.. I'll text her again.. she always answers me, cuz she's crazy about me... what.. she's not answering my texts still?? Maybe I should CALL her, tell her I was thinking of her and miss her..

He does, and you answer the phone.. sweet, pleasant.. but the NEEDY vibe is gone.. you thank him for calling and say you've just been sooo busy with stuff lately you haven't had time to think, but it feels nice to hear from him.. chitter chat a few seconds.. but you're really just in the middle of something, can he call you back later?.. he'll likely either say he'll call back later.. OR.. impulsively blurt out that he'd like to take you out and spend time with you.. now comes the tricky part.. what do YOU want? Do you FEEL like spending time with him, or are you still hurt and angry? Do you have OTHER stuff that needs your attention right now, like kids, school, work? Perhaps it's not a good night.. allow your sadness and disappointment to show and tell him you have other stuff to do tonight, and unfortunately will have to decline. Maybe he'll drop it there, maybe he'll demand answers (that you won't give.. NOT your man, NOT his business!).. maybe he'll ask about another night.. go with what YOU feel, what YOU want and YOU need. But never again sacrifice OTHER stuff that needs your attention, not for a man who hasn't EARNED that kind of devotion, and ESP not for a man that isn't even your man and isn't moving your relationship forward.

Oh.. and NO, do not say "You're not my man, it's not your business!".. lol as if I have to tell you that's bitchy. I'm sure you already knew that. But a very calm, sweet, "Sorry, it's personal." or "I don't have time to discuss it right now, can we talk another time?" DOES work.. you ALWAYS stay sweet, happy, pleasant.. this is NOT this time to be angry with him.. remember that YOU did as much damage as HE did to this relationship, just in different ways, unintentional ways. It's no one's fault right now, so no need for anger and blame. Let's see how the NEW dynamic plays out, before you decide what kind of man he really is.

Wow, that was a mouthful. So much so that I need to re-read it and take it all in. I have a tendency to second quest and question things people say to me. Its in my nature as well as all I have endured, however I am compelled to take all you say in on this subject. Apply it and try to benefit from it with others in my life as well.

At this point though I am studying The Blood and Blood Vessels and The Heart and Cardiovascular System. I am taking a break from it now to post after which, I'll play football with the boys and spend time with them then back to the books. Unless he can help me retain all this information that I need for this exam (Hmmm I so wish he could though lol) I am going to have to put him on pause a little longer.

You make excellent points and gave me great advice. Now the rest is on me, keep you posted.

THANKS🙂

Always so fricken DRAMATIC with advice... :/

Good advice to me is good advice. DRAMATIC to some is needed for others. Either way as long as I can learn something to better myelf it works for me.

Okay, so here is my update. Gotta a call this morning from him asking for my help on a computer issue as I was leaving class. Ask if I could check it out when I had the time. I was just going to sit in my car until it was time for work and study a little so I told him I would drop by shorty, which I did. I was in the mist of trying to figure things out (I'm not a Tech or anything, I just know more than he does about computers)when I stop to ask him what all had he tried because I saw soooo many windows open and he just hits anything. He told me and before I started I ask was he sure he wanted ME to do it. Just incase he had something on there he would rather not want me to see. To that he replied " There isn't anything on there to see babe but porn. If you don't wanna see that I guess you better not". Porn doesn't bother me so I went on. He had done a few thing and couldn't find something he needed. Long story short the last place I thought to look (Recycle Bin) was where it was. It was 56 items there so I restored them all. And yes a number of them were porn pics. Again that didn't surprise me, I was ok with those. The numerous pictures of women that came up with it wasn't much of a surprise however, the body shots, and breast shots and PRIVATE PART shots that where all over the screen took me back. Now I found what I was looking for, created him a file for things like that and saved it with a name he could identify, deleted the rest like they were before and waited for him to finish with his customer.

After which he bounced back over to me I told him that I found what he was looking for and showed him where he could access it and save future documents. He never ask where I found it and I never told him. He was so thankfuland kissing everywhere on my face and just happy as all get out. He talk for quite a while after that about somethings that had been going on with him, well alot of different areas in his life and this man is usually a very tight lip person. I figured there was other women around but to see the pictures of their bodys, well that was enough for me.

I'm not upset buy any means but the attraction I had for him faded a bit. I little more than a bit because as he was speaking and smilling and holding my hands and touchy feely I didn't feel a thing. Go figure. I think I'm cured. LOL LOL.

TaureanHeart,

I am on the last day of the Taurus and I understand the frustration you have with Libra men or men in general. As a Taurus, I want someone who wants to be committed just like I do. I have learned over the years that I do not see the point of jumping into bed with a man that I am not in a committed relationship with. I decided this because I will expect more, even if the man does not. As a Taurus, I know we also are romantic and have certain cravings. I try my best to steer away from those cravings by keeping busy or hitting the gym. If all else fails, I always have one person I can call. *wink*

I am currently talking to a Libra man, as well as others. That is another thing, I know we are faithful people but we need more attention than most. So, I do not contact my Libra man...I talk with more than just him. I also initiate contact with men that I am not that interested in when I just need someone to talk to. I know if sounds as if I am leading them on but men do the same thing. Plus, they know we are nothing more than friends and that is it.

The more information the Libra man finds out about how successful I am, the more interested he is. In my opinion, men looking to settle down want a woman with an education, career, and goals. If a man does not ask me a million and one questions, I know he just wants sex. Plain and simple. You can tell also tell the difference from "Come over" and "lets go see a movie."

A man that is worth the my time will take time to get to know who I am. It may not start out as 24 hour a day conversations but it would be weird if it did. Believe me, I know 1st hand how a stalker can be. It is better to start off slow and build a concrete foundation. Just some words from a Taurus to a Taurus.

TaureanHeart,

As far as I know, I have never known a Libra man to be dumb. I wonder if he wanted you to see that there were other women or wanted to see if you were interested in porn? On the other hand, he could have really not though of how the pictures could have been restored. It seems as if this Libra man has a lot going on, as many of them do. As a Taurus woman myself, I can understand how porn and pics of other women would be a turnoff. Porn is a literal turnoff for me and I do not get why so many people enjoy looking at someone they cannot have but to each their own right. :-) On the other hand, if you restored the pictures then he obviously deleted them. What is the problem? Neither men, nor women are perfect. What a person does while they are single is their choice.

I believe any man that starts opening up to you may be thinking about getting more serious with you. If these long conversations stay consistent, then maybe he is thinking of moving forward with you. If not, then maybe he just needed "a friend" to talk to. Either way, I feel you need to chat with other men besides him. Keep your options open that way you can focus some of your attention on people other than him.

Hi BorderlineTaurus,

I have tired that talking to other guys just as coversation. It has backfired. Theres 3 that really made me re think doing that and one in particular that creeps me out and he still IM's even though I stop answering. I tell them from the beginging that its a friend thing. I am not intrested in anything more.
Of course they say there ok with it.

First guy said "Oh you think that we are just going to be friends and talk here and there and thats it". I said that is exactly what we spoke about day one. He replied "We'll thats not what I want". To that he had to go. He always gave me a funny vibe as if he were extremly aggressive anyway.

Second guy called me one night buzzed and said this " I have always liked you and the way you carried yourself and when you told me that we were only going to be friends and that you have never dated flashy guys you hurt my feelings cause I really like you and it took me a lot (5mnths) to say this and I never wanted to be just friends.

And my gawd the third guy is some sort of freak. I had drinks with a friend one night and invited him there with us. Other than that we only IM. I told him the same thing and also let him know I wasn't even attracted to him however, every chance he gets he brings up my feet and how they look in open toe shoes and were they painted. He even said one day he wwanted to suck them and have an orgasm on my feet. I told him to chill out with that because he was creeing me out and he said ok and he was sorry. Well a few days later he IM me again and it was going find until he said he masturbate to thoughts about me all the time. I ask was being friends a problem for him and he said " No I just want to video myself thinking about you doing that and let you see what you do to me. I told him that I didn't want to hear it and I didn't want to chat any more and better yet I'll see him around and good bye. He stills IM's me and says HEY, I guess waiting me out for a reply.

I said all that to say I have tried the friends to occupy my time and it was and epic fail and I don't want to try that again. I'm still hoping the creepy guy doesn't get any more creepy.

I have just been allowing him to contact me lately. And will be leaving it as such.

On the other hand, he could have really not though of how the pictures could have been restored.

BorderlineTaurus,

You right he isn't dumb by far and aprt from his charm and very good looks thats actually what attracts me to him. I have have only had one other man in my life who I have been attracted to because of the fact that I learn something from them and the other guy was a Leo and also very attractive. They are not briany guys but they like I like to reaad, listen and learn and I always feel like I am being feed mentally and its such a turn on. But I digress lol. Back to the topic at hand 🙂, H really doesn't know much about computers and when I try to show him or teach him he said he doesn't need to learn cause he has me. I honestly do not think for one minute he wanted me to see those at all. He believes that once deleted its gone and I have told him time and TIME again that just isn't true. I was trying to explaing tracking cookies to him the same day and he said as long as I know then he good.

Your correct though single people can do what they want and we Tauruses when we find a person we want to be with then were fixed and done looking or dating. However the proble lie when I keep thinking of the was respond to one another sexually and he responding the same way with me and then back and fourth......nah I'll pass. When he is truly ready and IF I am still interested( because I have a tendency to get bored)and available (once I move on I don't back track)then we can make something happen. We are always going to play apart in each others life. Heck its been 13 years, I don't want to allow sex and emotions to get in the way. If I'm given enough space to get myself together I can bounce back and we will be right as rain. The problem there is by that time I have withdrawn my feelings and emotions away and now I won't see him the same. I'm not a emotional type of woman so as long as you come straight with me and don't lie, and don't try and use and mistreat me I'm a lamb. Try anything mention above or worst and I AM TAURUS FOR SURE!!! 😉

I have to find things out for myself. I have to have the experience to teach me, otherwise it's all abstract. And I have to touch that fucking stove MANY times before I finally get it. Then there's a NEW stove.. and I wonder if THIS new, hot stove will burn me too.. *touch* Fuck shit GODDAMNIT! But, but.. I really, really like this stove, it's the exact model I've always wanted, and I loooove what this stove does.. it bakes just BEAUTIFULLY, the best ever!.. and a stove can't HELP that it gets hot, it's not burning me on PURPOSE or anything. *touch* Fuck! What is wrong with me? Maybe a different stove wouldn't burn me like this. *touch* Holy shit, what the hell, JEEEEZ LOUISE, STOP BURNING ME! Fucking stoves, what is fucking WRONG with you?!

LMFAO!!! 😉