Trouble in Paradise

I havent been on this forum long but have met a few of you regulars....

I am a Leo woman married to a Libra man for just over a year. I love my husband dearly but seem to find some serious ripples starting in our relationship. I have been seeing a darker side of my husband over the last few months that seems to be becoming a regular occurence in our relationship. Seems that everything I do or say seems to irritate him and I get snapped at. On a few ocassions my husband has belittled and chastised me like a child in front of strangers, Cant explain how much this wounds me as I try to support him to no end and would NEVER embarress or hurt him in front of others. On the other hand amongst our friends he gushes over me and appears to be the perfect husband in their company.

Seems all that he has ever said or done to hurt is forgotten and the word "sorry" is not in his vocabulary. On the other hand all I do seems to be inexcusable. I have always read that Libras detest seeing their mates cry and become emotional. It seems like I go into the bathroom a lot lately and cry so as not to make a scene. I have excused this behaviour in the past due to stress my husband has at work and lately with his daughter. We now seem to be at a point where bickering is an everyday occurrence and I dont think either of us is happy right now.

Can any of you Libras give me some insight please on how to go about mending and healing things? I take my marriage vows very seriously but am to the point where Im so afraid to broach my husband because its constant backlash....

Just talk to him.

I don't know your guy but if you try to ignore the stuff you are talking about here it will build resentment in you. He should not put you down ever. Humiliation should not be a part of any relationship whether it is done in public or not.

As for the "Seems all that he has ever said or done to hurt is forgotten and the word "sorry" is not in his vocabulary."... past hurts are supposed to be forgiven and forgotten. The more important pieces are current and future. Also, "Never apologize. It's a sign of weakness". Just checking... you're not trying to bring up his past mistakes in an argument are you?

Another question, why are you crying in the bathroom? Are you at home? Who are you afraid of "making a scene" in front of, him? Show him if something is bothering you. If there is a problem you have to speak up.

For me, once something is a permanent part of my life it goes into a sort of "safe place" in my mind and I don't think about it the same way. Good or bad, right or wrong, I have seen myself do it. It's not that I don't think about it at all, there is just a change. There was a lot of anticipation before I had kids. Now that they are here I don't worry about it. I still think about them all the time but not in the "Wow, I'm going to be a father" way. It can be similar in a relationship. When I was married, the thought of divorce never entered my head, it just wasn't an option. Things changed in the relationship but it was growing a family together. We lost some of the "us" focus. It became about paying bills and raising kids... and I was happy, turns out she wasn't but she never said anything.

I almost erased that last paragraph cause I started rambling, but the point is COMMUNICATE. Libras can be very supportive if we know something is wrong. Even if he "should" know something, he may not. Make sure he knows that it pisses you off when he talks down to you. Hell, make sure he knows that what he said was taken as a put down or insult. Let him know you are afraid to talk to him because it'll start a fight. Let him know that you love him and want to make it work, but that it is going to take both of you.

Just talk to him.

i have done some of the same things when i was a young (and stupid) libra.
Ended up divorcing a taurus (5 years) and a cancer (10 yrs).
horrible experience, divorce is.

i am with a leo woman now, and i am much more cognizant with her.
leo's dont like to be criticized and worse yet, libras can really
dish it out. that is the biggest issue w/ leo-libra, imho.

you are very accommodating. libras like it at first and then
hate that after a while. if i were you i'd make myself scarce.
i'd leave him alone to think about his actions..
hell come running back, a bit wiser perhaps...
-good luck...

Sending a HUGE thanks to all of you! Your responses were wonderful and shook a little common sense into me to do what I already knew needed to be done.....I TALKED to him!!

Talked things out with my husband over the past couple of days and cleared the air.
His behaviour was so unlike the man I married that I was stunned and hurt when normally I would have spoke up sooner. I know we all go through stressful times and can be moody but no one deserves to be constantly crapped on. He apologised for his ongoing grumpy behaviour and the fact that he had been taking it out on me. He knows me well enough to know that I was hurting but that made him even more frustrated with himself. When he gets quiet or restless I can tell when he needs to be alone and give him that freedom. When I have my bad days and just want to go hide alone with the tv or a book
I tell him verbally. Im not one who likes to be smothered constantly either and I do grant him his space. In order to answer LibraSid's question about making him apologise for past stuff...my mother still talks about stuff I did when I was 5 that annoyed her and it drives me nuts! When something is done and over its DONE!! Throwing something in someones face from the past is so uncool...enough already!! I love and adore my husband and I am 47 and this is my first (and only) marriage. Im past the age of the fighting with the high school boyfriend and hanging up on him and other silly games...
The fact that Im a Leo also means that Im a determined, stubborn, loyal broad who would do anything for my man 🙂

Thanks again to all of you!

Thank you so much QLibra! Big Hug 🙂