unhappy libra

I have a libra friend who recently graduated from grad school and landed his first choice job at a very competitive and renowned institution — a phenomenal and amazing accomplishment. I met up with him for the first time today after the big news and long story short, he is not as happy as I thought he would be. He seemed to be deeply unhappy and disappointed, but even while he tried to explain, I'm still not quite sure why he is unhappy.

As far as I can tell, he is unhappy because while he is where he wants to be, the process of grad school really drained him and he is just mentally exhausted. He is disappointed in the process, that it didn't turn out as he expected. This part is understandable, but doesn't really explain his being unhappy.

Secondly, he is unhappy, or not as happy as he should be, because he feels that he is now locked into his field of choice, and while he can get out of it if he really wanted to, he realistically can't. But he agreed that there is nothing else he would rather do. I asked him whether it was a sense of loss of freedom (in college we had a lot of options but not anymore) that he was unhappy about and he gave a vague answer.

I expected to have a cheerful conversation with him, congratulating him and reveling with him in anticipation of what is to come, but in complete surprise, we ended up analyzing why he is not as happy as he should be. Seeing him so unhappy makes me unhappy and makes me worry because I am just a year behind him. I don't want the same to happen to me.

My questions:
1. Does anyone might have any insight into this libra??s mind? What is going on? Why is he unhappy?
2. How can I cheer him up?

Posted by tiziani
Libras need adventure.

Someone reminded me the other day, the two ways to be deeply unhappy in life are

- The moments you spend chasing after what you believe you want

- The moment you finally get it


He just needs time. He has come to the end of one adventure and reached his end goal. Now he just needs time to think, and make new goals within the same old path. It's part of growing up to realize just how much the road is long and winding.

Agreed. My ex was going through this the last few times I talked to him. That promotion he'd been trying sooo hard for, he got, worked the 2 year training period, only to realize he really doesn't like it. Now he's training for something else. I think part of the issue is that anticipation. It's like hell yes, I'm down for this, let's do it! Then you get there and it's not entirely what you'd expect it to be.

Question is, this profession your friend got into, was it purely his choice or did someone else have some influence in the decision?

I ask because the few that I know of that went through something similar- they had either a lot of influence or pressure to get into what it was they were doing- to which they ended up disliking.

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by tiziani
Libras need adventure.

Someone reminded me the other day, the two ways to be deeply unhappy in life are

- The moments you spend chasing after what you believe you want

- The moment you finally get it


He just needs time. He has come to the end of one adventure and reached his end goal. Now he just needs time to think, and make new goals within the same old path. It's part of growing up to realize just how much the road is long and winding.

Agreed. My ex was going through this the last few times I talked to him. That promotion he'd been trying sooo hard for, he got, worked the 2 year training period, only to realize he really doesn't like it. Now he's training for something else. I think part of the issue is that anticipation. It's like hell yes, I'm down for this, let's do it! Then you get there and it's not entirely what you'd expect it to be.

Question is, this profession your friend got into, was it purely his choice or did someone else have some influence in the decision?

I ask because the few that I know of that went through something similar- they had either a lot of influence or pressure to get into what it was they were doing- to which they ended up disliking.

click to expand

This something that he's wanted and worked for since college. Purely his choice. So it doesn't make sense now that he has what he's always dreamed of, he's not happy.

Posted by Sugarfoot
It doesn't sound like he's doing something he's truly passionate about. He's probably realizing that now and analyzing what it is he should really be doing with his life. This is a sad process because it makes him feel like everything he's done up to this point has been a waste of time, money, and energy. And then there's only more uncertainty ahead.

The thing is, he hasn't started the job yet. So he doesn't know what it will be like. I almost feel like he's unhappy because there is no more uncertainty, because there is now on ly one road ahead of him, the road that he worked so hard to get on.

Posted by tiziani
Libras need adventure.

Someone reminded me the other day, the two ways to be deeply unhappy in life are

- The moments you spend chasing after what you believe you want

- The moment you finally get it


He just needs time. He has come to the end of one adventure and reached his end goal. Now he just needs time to think, and make new goals within the same old path. It's part of growing up to realize just how much the road is long and winding.

This makes a lot of sense. He did mention that he feels there's no more sense of adventure, which confused me because he is about to embark on the journey of what he always wanted (he starts on the job in about 1 month). How can he not feel a sense of adventure in anticipation of that journey?

As I said in response to another post, I almost feel like he's unhappy because there is no more uncertainty, because there is now only one road ahead of him, the road that he worked so hard to get on.