Dangerous men, how to spot them -

This topic was created in the Miscellaneous forum by Freebird on Sunday, August 7, 2005 and has 15 replies.

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@Freebird
21 Years1,000+ Posts

From Sandra Brown's "HOW TO SPOT A DANGEROUS MAN BEFORE YOU GET INVOVLED"

"Women just don't know how to gauge when someone is unfixable." said Brown. She also says that, "dangerous men come in eight flavors - the permanant clinger, the parental seeker, the emotionally unavailable man, the man with a hidden life, the addict, the mentally ill man (especially when they're off their meds or not in treatment), the abusive or violent man and - the emotional predator, who can smell a victim a mile away."

4 of the Types To Beware

The Emotionally Unavailable Man

He'll happily string you along, even though he's married, engaged or so committed to career or hobbies that you'll always come last. STRATEGY: The minute you find out he's married, end it. If he spends all his time on other interests, ask yourself: Where's his committment to me?

The Man With the Hidden Life

By the time you learn of his hidden wife and kids, secret addiction or criminal history, you'll probably be well into the relationship. Most of these tricksters are "combo-pack" men who fit more then one of the eight categories. They have addictions, mental health issues, predatory instincts and emotional unavailability. STRATEGY: Get nosy. Ask persistent questions if something feels off. These men thrive on trusting, unquestioning woman.

The Abusive or Violent Man

Don't expect these guys to smack you around on the first date - it often takes months or years for their behavior to escalate. It starts with boundary violations that go unchecked. These men have issues with power and control and are incapable of an equality - based relationship. Abuse isn't only physical - it can be emotional, verbal, spiritual, financial or sexual - and it always gets worse. STRATEGY: Leave after the first episode and don't go back.

The Enotional Predator

These men can be lethal. They have a sixth sense for lonely, vulnerable women and boast they can scan a room and "sense" the best targets, often picking up on eye and body language. They have antisocial personalities and they smoothly morph, chameleonlike, into whatever they think you're looking for.
STRATEGY: Don't reveal too much about yourself when you're getting to know a man. Ask him about himself instead of letting him pump you for clues.

Until women get it, they'll keep searching for loopholes to explain why their bad guy is an exception to the rule. For some woman, she said, trust in eternal.

Profile picture of taurusgoddess
@taurusgoddess
21 Years1,000+ PostsTaurus

I think I'll print this out & carry it with me when I go out on dates!

You know, it's kinda bad, but I do have a mental checklist I kinda go through when I meet someone new. Do guys do that too? Maybe it's a physical checklist! lol

Profile picture of lizard_scorpio
@lizard_scorpio
21 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

hahahahahaha..........

"dangerous men come in eight flavors - the permanant clinger, the parental seeker, the emotionally unavailable man, the man with a hidden life, the addict, the mentally ill man (especially when they're off their meds or not in treatment), the abusive or violent man and - the emotional predator, who can smell a victim a mile away."

can there be a kind of man that doesn't fit at least one of the eight descriptions—

i think i'm all of the above, although i've never physically abused or hurt/violated a person and never will!!!

Profile picture of cancerlady
@cancerlady
21 Years1,000+ Posts

I definitely have the emotionally unavailable man and I still think he is a hidden life man also...

I ask questions all the time, but what is that when all you get in response is lies?

Profile picture of BJ
@BJ
21 YearsPisces

Eight flavours? Surely there's more flavours than that, what about the guy with the gun, the guy that has explosives strapped to his body, or the who strikes a strange resemblance to a melted candle, lives on a ranch and thinks he's Peter Pan!!!!!

Am I on my own here?

Profile picture of Tiamat
@Tiamat
21 Years1,000+ PostsScorpio

Im batman,so what exactly are you saying bj.Oh,excuse me,just spotted spiderman and he owes me,or he's getting his butt whipped.*cape whip,jumps off buiding but forgets how to fly**splat*

Profile picture of ladydane
@ladydane
21 YearsScorpio

Cancerlady,

My son lies to me because he's afraid to tell me the truth, probably out of fear of rejection, or, for control. Yours is no different.

When I confront my guy with a no-way out verbal situation, it's his choice to answer truthfully, continue the lie, or run.

So make him tell you. Don't stoop to his level.