Death of parent/s

This is for all of you that have dealt with YOUR parent/s dying, not someone you know and their parents.

How did you deal with this pre and post?

I only have that question and would appreciate 100% honesty whether that implies you went to a mental asylum due to sorrow or got happier after..

Posted by tiziani
Just stayed indoors a lot.

And did what?

Do grandparents count?? Because I was extremely close to them. I went into a great depression.

Posted by lisabethur8
Do grandparents count?? Because I was extremely close to them. I went into a great depression.

How did you deal with it?

Posted by WolfMoon

Posted by lisabethur8
Do grandparents count?? Because I was extremely close to them. I went into a great depression.

How did you deal with it?

click to expand

cried alot, some in silence and ALOT in crying out loud and saying how the world is so damn cruel and awful!!! and how it's awful to live in this world if there are terrible people about and the good ones just leave us. Yeah i had alot of pain and misery for awhile. I was a miserable wreck. It was hard to deal with me even for me.

I read that there are STAGES of grief. It's in some psychology book. And i have read there are stages of grief of growing OLD. Which is similar to grief.
you go through rages of hating God, even if you don't believe, then later RESIGN to it, because what can you do?

Posted by tiziani

Posted by WolfMoon

Posted by tiziani
Just stayed indoors a lot.

And did what?

Slept, prayed, lazed about... practiced and studied writing. Wrote a screenplay. Slept some more... then I went to Italy which saved my life.

click to expand

Hmmm...see, for as strong as I am ( I am), this is what I fear the most. My Cap Moon can't handle the sheer thought of a mental collapse :-/ I am sure that sounds absolutely absurd. Pathetic even, maybe.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/000617

The stages of mourning and grief are universal and are experienced by people from all walks of life. Mourning occurs in response to an individual??s own terminal illness, the loss of a close relationship, or to the death of a valued being, human or animal. There are five stages of normal grief that were first proposed by Elisabeth K?_bler-Ross in her 1969 book —On Death and Dying.??

In our bereavement, we spend different lengths of time working through each step and express each stage with different levels of intensity. The five stages do not necessarily occur in any specific order. We often move between stages before achieving a more peaceful acceptance of death. Many of us are not afforded the luxury of time required to achieve this final stage of grief.

The death of your loved one might inspire you to evaluate your own feelings of mortality. Throughout each stage, a common thread of hope emerges: As long as there is life, there is hope. As long as there is hope, there is life.

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by WolfMoon

Posted by lisabethur8
Do grandparents count?? Because I was extremely close to them. I went into a great depression.

How did you deal with it?

cried alot, some in silence and ALOT in crying out loud and saying how the world is so damn cruel and awful!!! and how it's awful to live in this world if there are terrible people about and the good ones just leave us. Yeah i had alot of pain and misery for awhile. I was a miserable wreck. It was hard to deal with me even for me.

I read that there are STAGES of grief. It's in some psychology book. And i have read there are stages of grief of growing OLD. Which is similar to grief.
you go through rages of hating God, even if you don't believe, then later RESIGN to it, because what can you do?

click to expand

I just don't deal well with people leaving. My Dad had an accident 25 years ago and it took me 5 years to recover from it becasue I had initially thought I'd lost him. *I* do the leaving, know what I mean?!

no, i dont know what you mean, because i don't ever want to leave my grandparents side. when they were alive i dreamed to live with them forever and i was always physically there with them. So, no, why would you leave people you love? Are you that cold hearted?

Posted by lisabethur8
no, i dont know what you mean, because i don't ever want to leave my grandparents side. when they were alive i dreamed to live with them forever and i was always physically there with them. So, no, why would you leave people you love? Are you that cold hearted?

Au contraire...there is nothing cold about my heart. It feels more than most and therefore it needs protection.

I'm still dealing with it.

I lost my father, to whom I was very close. Faith and prayer are what got me through.

Weirdness, Anger, Denial, Distractions, Relief to somewhat oh well.

I've always accepted that as an inevetible part of life that when it actually happened, it wasn't quite as traumatic as I expected it to be. I guess I was always more concerned about how the person in question would go, as oppose to having to go. I remember watching a documentary about Leonard Cohen once and he said his reaction to his father's passing was basically, "why wouldn't he die? " , as in it being the most natural thing in the world. I could relate to that.

There's a time and place for everything. I know it doesn't take away the pain of never getting to see that person again (in flesh) but maybe I'm also more emotionally prepared for these things than most other people. Maybe I haven't fully processed the loss deep down inside and it will strike me years from now in some midlife crisis. But these things are always in the back of my head-- what about when both my parents die... what if my brother died... what if my girlfriend died? etc. *knocks on wood*

I'm not even morbid, it's just how I process the reality and that things can drastically change at any given moment. I don't take anything for granted.

It was incredibly difficult for me. It still is. I think, at first, I was in denial. It was not real to me for a long while, which is surprising because my dad and I were extremely close. We talked everyday, several times a day. I do not think it really hit me until a few months after his passing. It's hard??_.

Posted by SpiceNSugar
I lost my father, to whom I was very close. Faith and prayer are what got me through.

Indeed??_.

Posted by EU
When I lost my mother, other than work, I just stayed in a lot. I barely spoke to anyone other than family for about 6 months, and even after that it was still a while till I got back to myself. I just kept to myself, played guitar, and studied the art of song writing.

I don't know if you're asking for yourself or another. The main thing is just to keep going. It's an incredibly difficult time indeed, but things do get better.

Thank you. It just dawned on me that despite all the things I have gone through, and I won't exaggerate saying that they amount to more than most have gone through, I am not sure I am eqipped dealing with this particular issue. It's just such a foreign concept for me that I can't even wrap my head around it!

Posted by starlover
All my family passed over

Mum dropped dead in 2006
Dad and sis passed with cancer within 6 weeks of each other, she died on his birthday (she wasnt speaking to him, so i figured he came to get her on that date)

Surreal and it i am not sure how i got through it, especially as my marriage had broken up inbetween and since then i ended a long term r.ship that wasnt working out

I faced myself big time and became very very strong

Wow is all I can say.

Shut down and became extremely private. It helped me mature and become much stronger tho.