How does rejection effect you guys?

A few months ago I asked someone out and was ignored...OMG, that had my head in a spin for roughly 5 weeks! I thought I could take it when I went in but turned out, it churned around in my head for weeks. Alsorts of things popped into mind as I silently argued my way clear...I seriously had the Devil sitting on one shoulder trying to shake up my confidence more and the Angel making me see it as no biggy! Through it all now, but would be very hesitant to go there again...

It makes me wonder how you guys do it time and time again...with the old skool thoughts that the guy should make the first move etc, I bet there are alot of you that have been knocked back time and time again! Does it effect you this way too so that you need a period of time to get over it? Is your selective process different?

I really liked this guy and wanted things to move past the friendship stage and thought they would BUT I was clearly mistaken!

Or is it easier to find a good woman than to find a good man?

It makes me clinical quite frankly, but I back it up with knowing and common sense. Doesn't stop the feelings, but it tempers them.

It comes down to who is rejecting you and how cruel that rejection at that moment in your life.

That's a good point in my situation Wga, never really thought about that...I was all prep for him saying no and would've happily moved on knowing once and for all...INSTEAD I was completely ignored! And ignoring me felt like he was saying you are NOTHING!




Everyone gets rejected, if a confident man gets rejected he will have absolutely no emotional reciprocation because the primitive mentality of a hunter is to always remain logical.

And a Hunter is probably looking to pick up rather than make a long term investment?



When a woman gets rejected she takes it personal because they are predominantly emotional.

And is seeing the potential of a S/O.



Reasons are multifaceted on why both genders reject potential romantic partners whether if it's short term/long term.

Agreed.

I have a hard time getting over rejection and it can take a couple to few weeks sometimes. 😢

I hate to reject but you just can't date everybody and I try and apply that to the man when it comes to me. They may have other options as we sometimes do as well and they are trying to go with the best option they think is right for them at the moment. We do this too. It still could mean they like you, thought you were pretty, etc but that the other woman may live closer, cook more, be into football and you are not. Who knows really and that is what I try and tell myself when I have been rejected but for some reason it doesn't always help. I also say, "there are other fish in the sea"....lol.

I've never asked a guy out,but not long ago I went out of my way to show one I was open to it...and got pooped upon.
it hurt my feelings at first,but then I just realized he didn't deserve me anyway. 😉
but I probably won't put myself out there that far again,I'm just not the type.
I blame that case on some weird happening in the sky. 🙂

It always sucks when you put yourself out there or go out of your way to make sure someone knows you're interested and they either don't respond at all, or don't respond the way you wanted them to......ESPECIALLY when you don't normally do that.


My Leo moon hates rejection. 😢 So usually I just don't put myself in the position to be rejected.
In the case that I do...it does hurt my ego a little, I can't lie. But usually I bounce right back. *brushes shoulders off*


The funny thing about getting rejected is that later you wonder why you even cared at all. Haha
The people worth having in your life want to be there. Those that don't, don't deserve to be apart of your world anyways. 🙂


Also, keep in mind. Sometimes someone rejecting you is only out of fear of rejection themselves.

^ Yes.

I have a Leo moon too BF, but as I said, I was half prepped for him to say no lets stay friends or something to that effect but to be completely ignored!!! That sent a whole lot of different messages to the brain!!

Some people are thinkers Shaks, simple as that. Going into any situation without thinking is well just plain STUPID! You always have to be mindful on consequence because there is always consequence to your actions!!

No I'm a thinker and I act when I'm convinced and thought it through enough....so far it has got me where I am, with no regrets. i find if I dont think first I regret later and that is with most cases...impulsiveness doesn't work with me!

Honey, Shall we go out tonight? Where will you take me?

Posted by Shaka_laka_boomboom
Yes 😛 Aries Moon, YEs you got that right 😛

What? Joo gots a problem with me steam rolling over some poor chap, scaring the almighty crap out of him and making him want to run for the hills? BWAHAHAHAHAAA.

That's where you are going to teach me how to be a bad girl...

Do I get to hold the whip and chains?

A bit of foreplay is warranted...dont want you flipping the switch too soon!

ONLY A MINUTE———?

lol as long as it's only once or I will sue!!! Here swallow this pill!

Send it to me via PM 😄

You'll get paid for that...I promise

Sweethearts .... your story seems odd to me.

The ignoring part.


ARe you sure he was even remotely interested in you?




For me, I wouldn't ask a person out, no matter how into him/her I was unless I knew s/he was into me .. I wouldn't just throw myself out there based soley on my interest because if the person isn't interested in me, then of course I would be rejected. So, for me it would definitely be devastation, since this other person was attracted to me .. for a few hours, then I'd realize I was being played all the time in which I got those signals to come forth, only to get rejected ...

Then my fishy ass would jump stream ..... the words "fuck you" echoing behind me.

You know my story P...I've put it out there on the Pisces forum a few times...We went there, i regected his first advances...we played/flirted and I decided to hit the nail on the head. He Rejected and prefers we remain friends which is evident now with how nice he is to me in person. He is a commitment phobic and knows that's what it would take with me. End of story, we are still friends but I have learnt some valuable lessons! Although there is still sexual tension between us at least I know not to waste my time!

Yes, I remember you talking about him on the Pisces forum ... and I remember Nefer, Ian, and I think Sea all telling you to be vulnerable and throw yourself out there to him ..... no matter how many times I tried to tell you not to leave your heart wide open to a man who disregards your feelings.


You did it any ..... good job to Nefer, Ian and Sea for being douchebags.

Nobody ever listens to me because they cannot handle my communication style .... and yet, I'm always right because I dare to face truths, no matter how much the ego tries to cover my senses with sparkles that look good and inviting.


I was right this time, you ignored me, listened to them because they "sound good" and got your feelings burnt.

Sweethearts ... you annoy him, that is what he told you, and that he loves to hate you.


so, why would you even begin to believe that you had a chance in him wanting to care for you? You were told ... you never know until you try, and you responded with somethign to the effect of that he's dumped on you previously, so why would he be any different this time, and then you mentioned that you're horny.


so you went for it ... even when your sense of reasoning told you not to, and me, of course.

What did you think was going to happen? Did you think that suddenly he would percieve life strickly through your feelings once you prepare your own self for an event?


Think about that ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


People make a decision about a situation in life ... and once they've made this choice (that they usually consider themselves being brave in doing since it takes a lot of emotional positioning), they have this false sense of the other person making the same internal adjustment as you did for yourself and you have the anticiapation/expectation of them responding accordingly.

Now, you are still ignoring what is your only answer here.

You want to know how to deal with rejection, based off of that you had illusion that he wanted you to ask him .. how can there be any consolation to that?

The only answer here is to realize he never wanted you to ask him, so therefore you weren't rejected .. you merely lied to yourself.

Once you realize you lied to yourself about how you thought he felt about you, in which in reality he didn't care about you .... then you will be able to see the light bright and clear.

The only way this could hurt you is if you are being shuned by a person who matters ... he doesn't matter, so how could that hurt?

Think about that Sweets ...... when a person feels hurt, or betrayed .... then this can only happen if you believe this person cares about you.


Is it going to hurt you if the man bagging your groceries doesn't care about how you feel, or the postman? Of course not .... it only hurts you when it's a person who cares about you.



A man who doesn't care about your feelings, and tells you that ..... cannot hurt you because he never even cared to matter enough to hurt you.


That is the only perception you need to acknowledge ... then this whole point about rejection won't even exist because you will realize you weren't rejected, you were lied to, by you.

Minors come to this site ... you should remove that avatar immediately .. unless you don't care to expose them to such images.

Actually P, You are right it doesn't matter anymore. It stung a bit in the beginning but it has been long dealt with. I was thinking about the experience when I put this thread up. It wasn't to help me further deal with it because as I said it's done and dusted. And in saying that YES I'm glad I did take the opportunity to ask him out because I no longer have the "what if" in my head whenever we see each other, we have the same circle of friends.

@ Pesca, Yes P uses Reverse psychology at times, however not normally with me. I have no problem with dealing with the truth and happily except anything she has to say! I was indecisive about what I should do and I weighed up everyones advice and went with it.

The route I chose lead to rejection but the consequences of my actions are all mine. I'm not dead, pride got a little hurt but I'm fully recovered and it also made me realise that I'm ready for a serious relationship again.


But back on topic, I was really wondering how it effected men being rejected as they put themselves out there all the time.

And we do care for each other, we are friends P and friends care. This is why he is especially nice to me now because he doesn't want any ill feeling between us or awkwardness. He wasnt and isnt a total stranger.

So now I realise...

If I were to ask a total stranger to dance, which I have done before and got a No thanks, it wouldn't effect me much. I would ask twice which is what alot of guys have done with me becuse there is this instant embarrassment feeling but then move on quickly and not give it another thought or that person.

However as Wga said "It comes down to who is rejecting you and how cruel that rejection at that moment in your life."

*ahem* I'm about SELF LOVE.. about loving YOURSELF, and having a full, happy life in spite of being single - being so in love with you and your life and making room for a great guy to show up IS NOT THE SAME as making him the center of your world esp before he has EARNED his importance in your life.

I do NOT advocate throwing yourself at ANY guy, ESPECIALLY not one who disregards your feelings or hasn't shown you what HE'S about.. And I DO NOT agree with women playing any sort of withholding, holding back, PRETENDING to feel or not feel something kind of GAMES. All I advocate is being REAL, OPEN, HONEST, and VULNERABLE.. though I'm hardly surprised that most women nowadays don't know what that even looks or feels like. Esp the vulnerable part.. women tend to think that means to be needy, clingy, begging him for attention and affection, pinning all of her hopes on ONE guy. Wrong.

In fact, I advocate women DATING TO LEARN, going out with SEVERAL men, waiting on NONE, learning to be GENUINE in the presence of men, figuring out what SHE wants, what SHE'S looking for.. and not getting all hung up on any ONE guy, until ONE wonderful man steps forward to OFFER the relationship she wants WITHOUT her having to chase him and beg him and feel like crap for doing so. Then, if any one guy fades out or "rejects" her.. she's not hung up on a guy who couldn't go the distance with her anyway, she counts it as a learning experience, and she moves on knowing he wasn't right for her and NOT taking it personally... and knowing he just made room for an even BETTER man to step up.

And yes, rejection is a part of life. Yes, it hurts... but if I show a man the REAL ME.. and he doesn't want it... then HE'S not the one for me, no matter how awesome I think he is. But you know what? If I hold back, "protect myself" and play little games... and the man rejects me.. IT DOESN'T HURT ANY LESS. Seriously? Are we debating this? So she would have hurt LESS if she'd held back? Wrong. But what holding back and pretending WILL do for you is give yourself a "phony, fake" vibe, and push away a GOOD MAN, making him feel disconnected and distant from you before he's had TIME to see inside you... but men rarely analyze it that much. All they know is that they simply DO or DO NOT want to be with/around you.

Logical or not, rejection stings EVERYONE just a little bit. It may not sting men to the point that they go home crying/questioning their manhood necessarily, BUT rejection does NOT feel good to anyone!

Plus, it's NUMBERS GAME. If you approach 100 people, 50 might reject you, BUT that ALSO means 50 won't. Women might focus/harp on the 50 who didn't take the bait while alot of men on the other hand focus on the fact that they STILL have good chances with those other 50. I think that is the difference sometimes. Just b/c men may be a little more logical than emotional doesn't mean that they are emotionless robots. They are human beings too with feelings, therefore they respond to anything that involves them not getting their way the same way most humans (male or female) do.

Simply having the balls to approach other women doesn't mean that a man has high self esteem. WHO he's actually approaching says more about his self-esteem/worth moreso than the number of girls he's approaching.

Hell, if a man is approaching women he considers to be "out of his league," that signalfies a huge amount of self-confidence. BUT if a man is running around chasing after women he knows he can pull/aren't his type, there's no real effort/challenge or victory in that.

If a man continually approaches women he's genuienly attracted to even after he's been rejected by others, that's a stronger signal of high self-esteem. Hell anyone can approach someone. Some guys only do it b/c it is hard-wired into them by society to do it; doesn't mean they actually like/want to do it.

The same goes for women. Society says most women are supposed to be emotional, suzie-homemakers who sit back & allow the men to do everything, BUT some women are more naturally aggressive & have bigger balls than the men do! BUT since it's hard-wired by society into women to be a "certain way," sometimes we literally ACT out certain roles even though we probably wouldn't persay those societal rules never existed

I think men are hard-wired not to harp over rejection as much b/c of the OTHER avenues in their lives where rejection is just as guaranteed.

A man can get rejected by the big boss interviewing him for a job.
A man can get rejected after he tries to take out a loan for his home, school or car.
A man can get rejected by his own male buddies (his buddies telling him that his new fling/date/girlfriend is NOT that hot) OR (his buddies telling him that his outfit is NOT working/attractive.)

Granted, women can face all of these forms of rejection too, BUT I think men are more-hardwired to accept/move on from rejection b/c rejection is such a big part of life period. Rejection while dating is just another 1 of live's avenues that's NOT guaranteed no matter how good looking/put together you are. Dating rejection is just yet another one of those areas in life where rejection is common. And hey, after living for so long & realizing that, a man doesn't have a choice BUT to accept that & live with that/deal with that.

I'm all for women approaching men too. 1. B/c most men aren't used to it. 2. B/c women need to put in the same effort to show how confident, aggressive & secure they are TOO & 3. Women should have the same "GO GETTER" mentality that we expect men to have.

Women claim to be such independent go-getters. They don't mind being self-confident when it comes down to them getting thier own jobs, their own education, their own cars, their own money, having/raising kids all by themselves, etc. BUT yet when it's time to approach a man, all that independence/self-confidence goes out the window!

Not all men approach/chase women & hey, sometimes it has NOTHING to do with them being insecure or having low self esteem. Sometimes a man won't approach a woman b/c he's shy (being shy & being insecure are 2 totally DIFFERENT things) OR sometimes he won't approach her b/c he may be having a hard time feeling her out; some men actually DO consider more than just looks. For instance, if a woman is drop dead gorgeous but yet she's standing outside on her cell phone cussing someone out over the phone, a man might not approach her! But not b/c he's a p*ssy! No, it could be that he's not sure if she's a good enough catch for him! POW!

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Posted by sweethearts
A few months ago I asked someone out and was ignored...OMG, that had my head in a spin for roughly 5 weeks! I thought I could take it when I went in but turned out, it churned around in my head for weeks. Alsorts of things popped into mind as I silently argued my way clear...I seriously had the Devil sitting on one shoulder trying to shake up my confidence more and the Angel making me see it as no biggy! Through it all now, but would be very hesitant to go there again...

It makes me wonder how you guys do it time and time again...with the old skool thoughts that the guy should make the first move etc, I bet there are alot of you that have been knocked back time and time again! Does it effect you this way too so that you need a period of time to get over it? Is your selective process different?

I really liked this guy and wanted things to move past the friendship stage and thought they would BUT I was clearly mistaken!

Or is it easier to find a good woman than to find a good man?

:::::::::GASPPPP:::::: how dare the pretty looking libra be ignored.

Posted by Prince_Pisces
If i was rejected, I would think theres something wrong with them lol!

yeah. being straight for starters

Are you bored AA— Trying to fuck with me? Be careful, I have someone watching my back that is VERY VERY protective of this precious Libran should she decide to bite1

Big Dapper Don likes me have you know!

game respects game..

and i'm sure he's watching your cute sweaty little back..

I know he does....but I think he likes me a little bit better 🙂

Just as well you're trying to play with a Libran that doesnt like to fight...seriously it would take a lot for you to even get me twisted.

Nice try though honey, he's in the same mood right now so perhaps you should find him and play all you like!

IS HE :p ?

i like it when he's in one of his weird moods.

WAIT? I KKNOW WHAT YOUR DOING? YOUR SHRUGGING ME OFF LIKE A PATHETIC LITTLE KID? I KNOW THAT LITTLE TECHNIQUE LIBRA AND I'M NOT FALIING FOR IT OK!

YOUR A FEISTY LITTLE BITCH AND YOU KNOW IT! OTHERWISE YOU WOULDN'T BE FUCKING AROUND WITH THE LIKES OF BIG DAPPER DON WOULD YOU??

i know you.

You dont know me at all! lol

But yes you have the first part right, you might need to take some lessons from Daps to play with me 😛

You know as much as I let you know here. In RL you wouldn't recognise me!

You get everything you pay for and MORE!

meaning: she's sweet on here but in rl she's a fucking feisty ass bitch with a lot of hot air

Dapps she's saying your charming.. and i need lessons. lttle does she know.. i'm the treetrunker that taught "Dapps" the tricks of the trade..

Gee, maybe you do know me...

and I thought that I was fooling everyone!

BUT seriously I have more things to do with my time than fuck with peoples heads!

Posted by DapperDon
AA she's off limits. But I'd be happy to play with you, big boy. Sword fight?

Dude? LOL. After what you've said in previous threads i hope not. :/ ?
A sword fight would only make me hornier..

UUUM? *pointing towards Dapper Don's head*

AA he's all yours....

until I want him back!

Enjoy 🙂

"you talking to me—" LOL