In your valid opinion..

...how much can two, lifelong, arguing parents, taint one's psyche?

Not only do I have to deal with my zodiac placements (God knows I can be the worst aloof person ever) but I have their baggage on my shoulders and it's gotten to the point I doubt I am able to handle any type of close relationship. Or is it all in my head??

It's as real as you let it be. Everyone has that type of baggage from somewhere. You take your experiences and decide which things are repeatable and which aren't. It may take some patience from your partner...but everyone knows guys "forget" or "tune out" 2/3 of the stuff we hear whether we want to or not.

Posted by LibraSid
It's as real as you let it be. Everyone has that type of baggage from somewhere. You take your experiences and decide which things are repeatable and which aren't. It may take some patience from your partner...but everyone knows guys "forget" or "tune out" 2/3 of the stuff we hear whether we want to or not.

True enough, but I just can't seem to rationally deal with even the slightest nuance of argument because I will shut down and you will be talking to a 4 ft thick brickwall. It doesn't appear fair for me to enter a relationship with that mentality! I have tried HARD to fight it but when my brain shuts down, my feelings follow and then sh1t is doomed.

Posted by WolfMoon

Posted by LibraSid
It's as real as you let it be. Everyone has that type of baggage from somewhere. You take your experiences and decide which things are repeatable and which aren't. It may take some patience from your partner...but everyone knows guys "forget" or "tune out" 2/3 of the stuff we hear whether we want to or not.

True enough, but I just can't seem to rationally deal with even the slightest nuance of argument because I will shut down and you will be talking to a 4 ft thick brickwall. It doesn't appear fair for me to enter a relationship with that mentality! I have tried HARD to fight it but when my brain shuts down, my feelings follow and then sh1t is doomed.

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Then tell "potential relationship person" just what you told us.

Make sure they are able to get it. 🙂

The problem with this is that you grow up with a distorted view of the world around you.

When reality confronts you head on, you'll panic because you won't know which is the way normal people act or what is the difference between being normal and insane.

It depends a lot on how the handled conflict after the conflict ended. If they each went to you and told you their version of events, you will carry a conflict with you and lash out at some point.

The good thing about people growing in difficult environments is that they are excellent mediators between people. They pick up on that immediately.

One good article:

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-stupid-habits-you-develop-growing-up-in-broken-home/

#5. Lying Becomes Their New Reality
#4. They Lose the Ability to Finish Projects
#3. They Become Ultra Responsible (or Catastrophically Irresponsible)
#2. They Judge Themselves Without Mercy
#1. They Become Hypersensitive

^^All of these popped out at random times in my life, some of those I stuck with for ages. I steel feel the tendency, especially with #2..on top of the Virgo Sun. #4 is still somewhat of an issue.

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-growing-up-in-broken-home-screws-your-love-life/

#5. Confrontation Is a Battle
#4. Anger Dictates Every Decision
#3. Every Hurdle Is a Catastrophe
#2. Raising Children Is a Confused Mess
#1. Compromise Is an Alien Idea

And to bring this up..after you're 18/ (21 I think it is in the States?), you run out of excuses not to work on yourself. Doesn't need to be a harsh crash landing but if you are aware of the undercurrents, you'll know how to navigate a lot.

Perseverance is key. And even then you will stumble but you need to pick yourself up.

The mental process is exactly like addiction..only to bad emotions/bad patterns of behavior.

Keep in mind everyone has some unresolved issues at some point in their lives. You're not alone and singled out against a world filled with people who just seem to get it right while you don't. This will give you hope and motivation.

Switch the mindframe.