FirstDecanTaurianWoman0428
@FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
11 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 1 · Posts: 16583 · Topics: 222
Is it alright to have sex on the first date?
Part of me wants to say yes. If i should meet someone and everything is just right. Why not?
Then the rest of me chimes in. Why not? Because you don't know them yet. If we keep getting more and more casual with sex, smelling fingers is going to replace the handshake.
Some people only care about the short term and for them I'm sure there's no problem having sex early and often with whoever. It just seems wrong to me.
Maybe it's just the Christian upbringing I've tried so hard to free myself of, still screaming 'fornication is a sin', but no because I don't thinks it's a sin...just dirty and cheapening. It shows a lack of control and poor foresight.
Nothing big ever a simple yes or no. So to the question, is it okay to have sex on the first date... I'd have to say, most likely, no.
Then the rest of me chimes in. Why not? Because you don't know them yet. If we keep getting more and more casual with sex, smelling fingers is going to replace the handshake.
Some people only care about the short term and for them I'm sure there's no problem having sex early and often with whoever. It just seems wrong to me.
Maybe it's just the Christian upbringing I've tried so hard to free myself of, still screaming 'fornication is a sin', but no because I don't thinks it's a sin...just dirty and cheapening. It shows a lack of control and poor foresight.
Nothing big ever a simple yes or no. So to the question, is it okay to have sex on the first date... I'd have to say, most likely, no.
those relationship never lasted... Because that's not what I wanted.
Damn! I felt that one. No
My opinion is it is never okay to sleep with someone on the first date. The only exception is if you knew this person for a long time. Otherwise, why would you share you body with a complete stranger? Ewwww....
Plus, men respect you more if you don't sleep with them early on. Oh, they'll say they will. Even the men on here, but in reality, I think they don't.
If you sleep with someone on the first date, then the man is going to look at you as more of a FWB option instead of potential relationship material. I mean, who wants someone that doesn't respect themselves or have any control over their body?
Another thing is part of the fun of a relationship is building the connection, building the chemistry, letting the chemistry build, letting a man chase you (that's exciting). So why should he get the reward so early on? Sex changes the dynamic.
Just my opinion and I'm old school.
Plus, men respect you more if you don't sleep with them early on. Oh, they'll say they will. Even the men on here, but in reality, I think they don't.
If you sleep with someone on the first date, then the man is going to look at you as more of a FWB option instead of potential relationship material. I mean, who wants someone that doesn't respect themselves or have any control over their body?
Another thing is part of the fun of a relationship is building the connection, building the chemistry, letting the chemistry build, letting a man chase you (that's exciting). So why should he get the reward so early on? Sex changes the dynamic.
Just my opinion and I'm old school.
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
If you did have sex on the first date.. How long did the relationship last?
An Aquarian told me he had sex on the first date and it lasted 5 years.. I asked if he had any kids and he said yes.. I asked how old.. He said the youngest is 9 months old.. Would you go out on a date after being told that?
I would have to know the circumstances of the baby. Was it a broken marriage? An accident?
Would make me question how responsible he is.
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
If you did have sex on the first date.. How long did the relationship last?
An Aquarian told me he had sex on the first date and it lasted 5 years.. I asked if he had any kids and he said yes.. I asked how old.. He said the youngest is 9 months old.. Would you go out on a date after being told that?
I'm not sure if you're just curious about this topic, but based on your other posts, I would caution you against surrendering your intellectual agency to a random forum.
Never did and won't be happening anytime soon. 🙂
I asked because it is real life experiences.....
I asked because this is a misc forum..
concerning all my posts I did pretty well for a newbie kiss my....and you didn't have to answer....I give all scenarios and examples and hope people relate
I asked because this is a misc forum..
concerning all my posts I did pretty well for a newbie kiss my....and you didn't have to answer....I give all scenarios and examples and hope people relate
So be ready for the consequences regardless of what life throws at you...including sex on the first date.. if physical and mental is there...then its okay because we are both mature adults and can take what ever comes
i met my ex on a date and went back home with him and we fucked 5 times that night and declared our love the same night and slept in the same bed every night for a year then we broke up and it was a fucking intense nightmare.......we probably could have made it work but there was just so much shit going on and it was all for the best..
having said that for me its best to have sex when I meet someone because sex to me is like the bottom bit of the iceberg and the rest of the little details like the relationship can easily be dealt with........I can't deal with bad sex.
having said that for me its best to have sex when I meet someone because sex to me is like the bottom bit of the iceberg and the rest of the little details like the relationship can easily be dealt with........I can't deal with bad sex.
People can be convinced that once you had sex the mystery is gone...and it can be alittle russian roulette type of fun.. you know this person less than 3 weeks..what type of person are you fucking you barely know..the mental and psychological challenges is overwhelming to me..
It goes back to my post on guidelines..follow them
It goes back to my post on guidelines..follow them
I actually had sex on the second date and became a gf.. but talking to him on the phone for a month or two before we met. I had red flags pop..I choose to deal with what life threw at me. And it lasted a few months..it was crazy...it will not likely happen again ...
Its right if it feels right for you, not sure why someone would ask a question like that to other people
Social conditioning is hard to escape though, I get that.
I can not comprehend what some of your peoples delusions of commitment is.
"He made me his girlfriend after the second date"
Really? You think so? 😐
"He made me his girlfriend after the second date"
Really? You think so? 😐
Posted by tizianiPosted by truecap
My opinion is it is never okay to sleep with someone on the first date. The only exception is if you knew this person for a long time. Otherwise, why would you share you body with a complete stranger? Ewwww....
Plus, men respect you more if you don't sleep with them early on. Oh, they'll say they will. Even the men on here, but in reality, I think they don't.
If you sleep with someone on the first date, then the man is going to look at you as more of a FWB option instead of potential relationship material. I mean, who wants someone that doesn't respect themselves or have any control over their body?
Another thing is part of the fun of a relationship is building the connection, building the chemistry, letting the chemistry build, letting a man chase you (that's exciting). So why should he get the reward so early on? Sex changes the dynamic.
Just my opinion and I'm old school.
I couldn't disagree more. Can't really say much more other than I've learnt to appreciate sex is sex. If I don't particular have much respect with a woman (or any person for that matter) then not sleeping with them isn't going to somehow increase respect that simply isn't there.
I know many people believe they can have control through sex and I'm still interested in learning different perspectives. But I've never been convinced. I see what happens when two people don't like each other. Sex can't change that.click to expand
You also have to remember I'm a different generation from most of you. That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it. I see so many girls get hurt because once they slept with a man, he treated them differently. It's possible that the guy would have treated them differently anyway after X amount of time, or decide they didn't have a relationship with that person. It hurts more if they decide not to date you after sex has been involved. Eventually, I'm sure that getting dumped a couple weeks after the first date, after sex, would damage a girls self esteem.
I mean how many times after one date, you decide you don't want to date a girl? That happens all the time. It's a normal thing in the dating world. But if she had sex consistently on a first date, and got dumped right after 8 times out of 10, it would damage her.
It's a personal choic
It's a personal choice. And a new generation with a looser attitude about sex. but my opinion is still my opinion.
Posted by GobshitePosted by truecap
My opinion is it is never okay to sleep with someone on the first date. The only exception is if you knew this person for a long time. Otherwise, why would you share you body with a complete stranger? Ewwww....
Plus, men respect you more if you don't sleep with them early on. Oh, they'll say they will. Even the men on here, but in reality, I think they don't.
If you sleep with someone on the first date, then the man is going to look at you as more of a FWB option instead of potential relationship material. I mean, who wants someone that doesn't respect themselves or have any control over their body?
Another thing is part of the fun of a relationship is building the connection, building the chemistry, letting the chemistry build, letting a man chase you (that's exciting). So why should he get the reward so early on? Sex changes the dynamic.
Just my opinion and I'm old school.
Posted by KVZZMIR11
Usually within 3 dates to one week it ends up happening...I find it happens A LOT quicker with women in their late 20s.
Definitely no complains there...LOL.
Longest I waited was up to a year...that was my recent ex...that was my choice because I didn't want to rush things and fuck everything up and everything STILL fucked up!
Back to the 3 date rule.
Life is already unpredictable enough as it is. Anyone who tries to justify why they should or shouldn't sleep with someone, on a first date, is delusional.
You'll *never* fully be in control of the situation and nor will such a 'dilemma' effect the eventual outcome - either you're both compatible or you're not; either it's the right time for the both of you or it's not.
There's no need to (unnecessarily) overcomplicate matters.click to expand
It's not about control. It's about introducing intimacy too soon.
Posted by tizianiPosted by xy
It all depends how open you both are.. how two people are willing to share experiences in a specific timeframe.
Holy damn.click to expand
Yeah, that was good. Very realistic.
Oh and I think it's freaking typical that the guys are saying "oh, yeah, sure it's okay".
There is an old thread either on the relationship or miscellaneous board. The first three pages of the thread, guys are pitching in and actually admitting they would think differently of a girl who would have sex on the first date. Then the female feminists stepped in and argued the subject. It's an interesting thread, though. OP you might want to find it.
There is an old thread either on the relationship or miscellaneous board. The first three pages of the thread, guys are pitching in and actually admitting they would think differently of a girl who would have sex on the first date. Then the female feminists stepped in and argued the subject. It's an interesting thread, though. OP you might want to find it.
Posted by truecapPosted by GobshitePosted by truecap
My opinion is it is never okay to sleep with someone on the first date. The only exception is if you knew this person for a long time. Otherwise, why would you share you body with a complete stranger? Ewwww....
Plus, men respect you more if you don't sleep with them early on. Oh, they'll say they will. Even the men on here, but in reality, I think they don't.
If you sleep with someone on the first date, then the man is going to look at you as more of a FWB option instead of potential relationship material. I mean, who wants someone that doesn't respect themselves or have any control over their body?
Another thing is part of the fun of a relationship is building the connection, building the chemistry, letting the chemistry build, letting a man chase you (that's exciting). So why should he get the reward so early on? Sex changes the dynamic.
Just my opinion and I'm old school.
Posted by KVZZMIR11
Usually within 3 dates to one week it ends up happening...I find it happens A LOT quicker with women in their late 20s.
Definitely no complains there...LOL.
Longest I waited was up to a year...that was my recent ex...that was my choice because I didn't want to rush things and fuck everything up and everything STILL fucked up!
Back to the 3 date rule.
Life is already unpredictable enough as it is. Anyone who tries to justify why they should or shouldn't sleep with someone, on a first date, is delusional.
You'll *never* fully be in control of the situation and nor will such a 'dilemma' effect the eventual outcome - either you're both compatible or you're not; either it's the right time for the both of you or it's
It's not about control. It's about introducing intimacy too soon.click to expand
Who's to say when its "too soon"or not? Why would anyone should care what others think should be the "right" moment to do it? There is no rules, the moment should only be dictated by your instinct and by the type of connection you feel with the other person, thats all, the rest is bullshit thrown by social conditioning.
Caps and their "rules" 😛 pfff
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Who's to say when its "too soon"or not? Why would anyone should care what others think should be the "right" moment to do it? There is no rules, the moment should only be dictated by your instinct and by the type of connection you feel with the other person, thats all, the rest is bullshit thrown by social conditioning.
My thoughts exactly.
Yeah, apparently condoning manipulation is ok by those pushing not to do it on the first date.
Well, for me it's a matter of self respect. I prefer to have sex with someone special and I'm not giving it away freely. There are different levels of connection. I want to make sure that connection I feel isn't just lust. Besides, it takes time to determine if someone is worthy of having my body. I wouldn't share that with just anyone.
Posted by xy
I was in FWB relationships and they were great. It's nice to live out a fantasy for what it is.
Are you sure she had the same viewpoint? Or did she want more?
Posted by tiziani
I think there's a lot of damage to be caused by walking around thinking "maybe if I time it right when I sleep with someone, they'll like me".
It's not really that new of thing either from what I've seen. Eddie Murphy talked about it in Eddie Murphy Raw, and that was the 80s.
Not "Like", it's more about respect.
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoom
Caps and their "rules" 😛 pfff
Well, cap women are pretty classy people. Perhaps it because they're not the biggest whores in town?
hahaha!!
I'm just kidding - couldn't resist.
Posted by truecap
Well, for me it's a matter of self respect. I prefer to have sex with someone special and I'm not giving it away freely. There are different levels of connection. I want to make sure that connection I feel isn't just lust. Besides, it takes time to determine if someone is worthy of having my body. I wouldn't share that with just anyone.
Thats the whole point, you can have your own preferences, just let others have their own preferences too and actually RESPECT them and dont look down on people who dont have your preferences, just because you have been taught that society to label them "whores".
I mean I could know If i wanted to fuck someone after one date and maybe a few drinks... But I don't understand how you would know if you wanted to be in a relationship with them after one date?
Now maybe this is just my special super slow stellium and my feelings from my fuck commitment moon. I just don't understand why women still want to be tied down for the purpose of being tied down. this is what it reminds me of....
It feels desperate and fake to me.
Now maybe this is just my special super slow stellium and my feelings from my fuck commitment moon. I just don't understand why women still want to be tied down for the purpose of being tied down. this is what it reminds me of....
It feels desperate and fake to me.
I'll go with what I feel.
The odds of anything happening or not are still 50-50, be it one night stand, fuck buddies or pursuing something more.
The odds of anything happening or not are still 50-50, be it one night stand, fuck buddies or pursuing something more.
Posted by KsamCancer
Theres nothing wrong with having sex on the first date, but people who do this tend to lack certain characteristics that allow them to hold a relationship together. Having sex doesnt make me think less of a woman, but they probably have issues in other categories that will prevent a relationship from lasting.
Not necessarily. It really is possible to build up a lasting relationship with someone after sex on the first date.
Why do men really see a women having respect for themselves bad..
Why do women see men as complicated guys? Like it's okay to be upfront and honest with your intentions firstly...
I think sex clouds the mind.. and later the consequences are either good or bad..
I mean waiting for the right time..if we have talked all through dinner and even dessert and there is connection. What is expected afterwards nowadays? .
In a male's mind? and a women's mind? In my mind it goes both ways....
Respect is almost topic cause everything else should be a given..
Why do women see men as complicated guys? Like it's okay to be upfront and honest with your intentions firstly...
I think sex clouds the mind.. and later the consequences are either good or bad..
I mean waiting for the right time..if we have talked all through dinner and even dessert and there is connection. What is expected afterwards nowadays? .
In a male's mind? and a women's mind? In my mind it goes both ways....
Respect is almost topic cause everything else should be a given..
Posted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
If you did have sex on the first date.. How long did the relationship last?
An Aquarian told me he had sex on the first date and it lasted 5 years.. I asked if he had any kids and he said yes.. I asked how old.. He said the youngest is 9 months old.. Would you go out on a date after being told that?
3 years
no
Posted by Quest4WaterPosted by FirstDecanTaurianWomen0428
If you did have sex on the first date.. How long did the relationship last?
An Aquarian told me he had sex on the first date and it lasted 5 years.. I asked if he had any kids and he said yes.. I asked how old.. He said the youngest is 9 months old.. Would you go out on a date after being told that?
I'm not sure if you're just curious about this topic, but based on your other posts, I would caution you against surrendering your intellectual agency to a random forum.click to expand
lol
i just think that withall the experiences I have witnessned with my own eyes. I wanted to know what would you have done.. Basically I am just curious to the standards of sex on the first date...Not that I would settle for a one night stand either. I would like to hope that havinmg sex with someone is a pleasurable experience.. otherwise it is baack to square one..
Sure, having sex is always a pleasurable experience!!!
You wouldn't settle for a one night stand, neither would I. So if you had sex on the first date, there is no way to know it isn't just a one night stand for him. Regardless of what he says. Some men will lie to you just to get some. So, in my opinion (and I suppose I'm in a minority here), the best option is to wait until you know he's into you and not just after a quick lay, that he will stick around for a while. How would you know? He will keep calling, asking you out. My daddy always said, if they want to spend time with you without sex, then they like you for you and not what they're getting from you (easy sex). There's still no guarantee he won't disappear, but you have more information to base your decision whether sex with this person is right for you or not.
Just my opinion and I've never regretted having waited for sex. But I have regretted rushing into it.
You wouldn't settle for a one night stand, neither would I. So if you had sex on the first date, there is no way to know it isn't just a one night stand for him. Regardless of what he says. Some men will lie to you just to get some. So, in my opinion (and I suppose I'm in a minority here), the best option is to wait until you know he's into you and not just after a quick lay, that he will stick around for a while. How would you know? He will keep calling, asking you out. My daddy always said, if they want to spend time with you without sex, then they like you for you and not what they're getting from you (easy sex). There's still no guarantee he won't disappear, but you have more information to base your decision whether sex with this person is right for you or not.
Just my opinion and I've never regretted having waited for sex. But I have regretted rushing into it.
Before i get reemed, I didn't say ALL men would lie to you. But if it's someone you don't really know, then how do you know whether they're lying or not? Time, observation, consistent actions, things that let you more into their character. Still, some men could still play out a farce, but most that aren't interested in you wouldn't go into that much effort. they'll just move on to an easier target. Of course, players are players and they still might be willing to play the game for a conquest, but if you figured out they were a player after all is said, wouldn't you be glad you made them work for it instead of being easy prey? lol!
Basically, there are no guarantees either way. I just prefer to wait until I'm comfortable.
And it's not about control or any of that stuff. It's my way of determining whether I would actually want to have sex with that person, and about getting to know him a little better before I'd jump into the sack.
Basically, there are no guarantees either way. I just prefer to wait until I'm comfortable.
And it's not about control or any of that stuff. It's my way of determining whether I would actually want to have sex with that person, and about getting to know him a little better before I'd jump into the sack.
Posted by Chance15
truecap called me a whore, I'm tellin'! 😄
In my two most serious, long term relationships we slept together on the first date. It's either the sign of a really good connection or a bad one depending on issues.
I don't see anything wrong with it. There are no rules as each relationship/interaction is singular to those two individuals.
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by KsamCancer
Theres nothing wrong with having sex on the first date, but people who do this tend to lack certain characteristics that allow them to hold a relationship together. Having sex doesnt make me think less of a woman, but they probably have issues in other categories that will prevent a relationship from lasting.
Not necessarily. It really is possible to build up a lasting relationship with someone after sex on the first date.click to expand
+1
these two right here. It's all about "Connection". You can look like a million bucks to other women, but if there's NOTHING there, no connection. Blah. You can't force it.
everyone's different, so their "psychology" /upbringing/ is very unique.
Posted by RainDancer88
There is no time limit set that will fit everyone.
For me, Sex on the first date is a HUGE NO NO.
It blurs the lines between lust and affection. Building a relationship becomes harder (IMO) after having sex too early.
Agreed.
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